Another year......
Well today is my son's 8 birthday. I feel so amazing, I baked him a cake and pancakes for breakfast. Yet I feel so bad because I don't remember my oldest sons birthday. I can't always keep on beating me down for having to work so much when he was younger. I had to. I left his father who was abusive to me to move back to New Jersey. Don't get me wrong I'm not sorry I left just merely sad that all the things I am able to do with my youngest son were not with my oldest. In time he will look back on his life, as I once did and be thankful for all the things my my and parents did for me. I was raised very independently. Which I have no regrets. I was able to learn alot of life lessons. I am in a place right now I look at my friends and think if I pursued my life differently I would have all what they have. I know life isn't based on material things. i get that....I really do. I think that I'm just going through this bump in the road as I do every time this year since the stroke. I love the summer and I miss being able to do a lot of my polysyllables as riding my bike for that long...Going to the outside bar and watching the ocean. Hanging out with friends. I know that the stroke isn't the end of my social networking, Just i get in these moods. they will pass. I think Im not good at letting them go...... they are always my babies
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