ksmith

Sue, my mother showed me to crotchet and I do it, not well, to relax my hands from knitting lol

PAM.... your words are gospel!!!!

On Mondays, for the time being, I go either to my Aunts house or other members home and knit. I learned how to knit from my grandmother but learning after stroke is basically learning all over again. I enjoy it. I enjoy the company of the group. They are very understanding of my speech and having my Aunt there helps a bunch. She has been knitting for a billion years and with in 3 weeks ( she says she really didn't have time for this.. yeah right) she knit my little cousin a sweater jacket. A SWEATER JACKET.. I made a thing... it's kinda a scarf.. or a pot holder mat.. I know I'll get there....and yeah she can also knit with out looking... It's tiring.. mainly for my eyes but it will get better. I'm not sure how long I can stick the Mondays for in a few days, I'm going to Department of Vocation Rehabilitation ( DVR ) t seek a part time job. My doctors have only cleared me for a tiny bit, like 4-6 hrs a week, but I can't survive on just me. As with life, we all must persevere

I'm so sorry your morning started out like crapola. I know when I start of my morning in a traumatic way, it basically throws me off for the rest of the day. Sometimes you are completely stressed out without feeling like you are. I mean you , as well as your dad, just got bad news so it is understandable if your emotions are whacky. Your brain, as you know, directs and manages your emotions so when there is a 'detour' , the fluid path of brain waves that controls your emotions, now as to go a different 20 miles out of its way. The point is... you are doing all you can. Stroke is stressful, disability is stressful, cancer is stressful. (( I'm not going to lie.. my thought just went **poof** )) xxoox

yeah it's a yummy food. It's an silly thing between us. But I do LOVE Mc Donald's FF's

I'm with you with this like Ketchup & Fries xxxxx

So my parents invited me to see a concert of two bands that were big in their youths but I like as well. The Doobie Brothers & Steely Dan. I was worried it was going to be to over whelming. But then I remembered : 1. I was hanging with my parents ( who are very chill) 2. Most of the folks that were going to be there would be , generally, over 60. We arrived about two hours early for I had a doctors appointment before the concert so we decided to tailgate. Our tail gate entailed of hanging out with two other random parking lot folks eating hoagies ( l they ate the hoagies lunchmeat sandwiches) and drinking water. We finished off our lunches from earlier that day and sat and shared youthful stories for the random folks and my father grew up in the same neighborhood in Pennsylvania and the shared stories while my mother and I tried to stay cool for it was hot that day. It was time to get in line to enter the venue so we grabbed our beach chairs and while we were walking to the security line, I was starting to get worries there wasn't a lot of people standing in line. I am not going to fib but I was kinda happy to not get completely overwhelmed but just to be sure I brought some ear plugs. And wow.. I forgot how much "grass" or marijuana is smoked at rock concerts. We were sitting in smoke central.. It kept me pretty chill.. my father and I were fairly big pot heads when we were younger so we kinda just flowed with it plus Steely Dan is pretty jazz-ish chill-ish rock. The people that were there and dancing were re living their childhood and it was nice to see them dance but I guess sometimes some enjoyed the herb a little to much. It took me a few days to get to myself again. But I'm glad I got to spend the time with my parents and they asked me.. I'm going to a local one with my parents at the end of the month, this time more geared towards my mom... more bubblegum 60's.

it sounds like you were already overwhelmed, even before the vacuum incident. I tried once to watch my niece and nephew and my younger son at once and it lasted one day. I love them and like you've said, before stroke, in another life being around kids and/or a lot of activity was nothing to handle. Now, as I said before, I go into a panic at a shopping store with out my headphones to tune out the noise. It's not just the noise for me but my eye sight isn't the best. Mainly for the bouncing and I can't focus and comprehend what I'm seeing so I feel like I'm in a foreign country and don't speak or read the language. I feel like a shut in when I can't hang with my family doing some things but thankfully, my family are in the medical field and understand my barriers and try to accommodate me. But it still sucks . I try to choose my battles like this Wednesday my parents and I are going to a concert ( Doobie Brothers & Steely Dan) so I know I need to do NOTHING the day before to rest up or on Thursday, I know I need to veg out. Unexpected things are the worse. I can't plan for anything for sadly minute by minute my mood, or head health, changes in an instant. Kitty love is the best

It's not just coffee. I can't exercise at any level for once my heart reaches 100 bmp it starts to flutter or something as silly as getting excited for anything or singing to a song ( I can't sing but helps with my Aphasia) … But coffee or caffeine is a happy end result :)

heartI wish I could write more but my thoughts don't stay in my brain long enough lol Well yesterday , July 2nd, I had my long awaited cardiac surgery consult. I am waiting for the office to call and schedule me for the same day surgery. They are going to do an ablation for my SVT ( fast heartbeat) :: from the start of my post, I had to leave and drop my son off at his house, stopped to see my ex father-in-law (I adore that man :) ) then to Target to get cat food:: I now have a date August 14th. Same day so only sleepy for the rest of that day. My mother or a hospital car service will pick me up for the procedure. The reason I'm having this, at an early age, is the premeditative tips I was given to help relax ( i.e. barring down like a bowl movement, putting face into ice water, laying down, a beta blocker) aren't able to slow my pulse or to end the event. I also am given intravenously medicine that normally calms the heart and if that fails, one that basically stops your heart, like a jump start, and immediately an injection of adrenaline to start it up, to no avail. The next action is to use the paddles to shock me. It happens to much to just wait. Basically, you have a circuits in your heart. They have a route that they take to continue working, mine has a short circuit, kinda. It's common to have my issue. Most start as a flutter and maybe continue for 5-15 mins. Mine don't stop . You can't die from SVT but what they don't tell you is while my heart beats at 235-240 BMP, blood isn't being adequately sent to the rest of the body and having a stroke in my history... I want to get this treated. and bonus is.... I CAN ENJOY MY COFFEE AGAIN

For the parking, I 'kinda' get why he put her first because they're married. I know you get it but on the flip of the token, I would have been so hurt myself. I found when I watch a game show from the 1950's - 70's " What's my line" on YouTube and I like the panel and I start to get choked up thinking they have all passed. If I'm watching something that makes you feel 'warm and fuzzy' I begin to cry. I have been completely weaned off of my depression meds.. so I have 10+ years of emotions that were suppressed that need to come out. As with you, my day to day functions change literally everyday. I can't plan anything. it sucks. you understand that. I'm thankful of your blog for I have a hard time keeping a thought or point in my brain long enough to post my thoughts and yours are almost a like. I "heart' you :)

Best wishes your way. If you start foot support , please let us know

Sometimes all you can do is smile. I agree that it is bad form not to keep your word though I do understand that sometimes life happens and our memory isn't always so sharp. You just continue making beautiful art and making others smile and a stupendous high five for raising a flipping awesome son

Dean, your 2nd stroke wasn't that long ago. I'm sure as with the 1st, once you get a routine with yourself , after some time you were able to do more than you thought. I can understand not having the confidence to go out and that is a hard hurdle , I know It was with me, however I finally came to the realization that I'm not going to be happy unless I say "F-it" I'm doing this. My therapist once told me, which is true, we are our own worst enemy within our heads. She said imagine walking into a restaurant. We "know" everyone is looking at us and judging us. The reality is they are so consumed with their own lives that they may look up at us and continue to talk about their issues. I know I hated going out. I had a bus system call C.A.T.S ( Cumberland County Transportation Service), named for the county I lived in, that services the elderly and handicapped within our county. And State Wide, there was another transportation service for Handicapped ( with a small free for both per trip) that helped me for everything. Maybe if you look into your state there might be something like that. I take Trazadone for sleep myself. I have 'speed brain' and grind my teeth ( wear night guard) and my schedule varies day to day. Some nights I go to bed before 8pm and then after 3am. But .. You have someone making you breakfast daily???? Sweet Tracy, your house looks beautiful. Will you travel to New Jersey?

Maybe that's why my rule is : "Don't plan me doing anything before 10a"

Hey, If the WACKY Tabacky works for you.. then more power. I recently learned of a bi-partisan bill going through the senate to allow states to decide how to treat marijuana. I believe that would allow more respite for people with pain. I haven't found the right strain yet so I use Hemp oil. enough about this ( im passionate about legalizing) Only staying inside : I went through a server bought of isolation myself. I mainly did that in the beginning of my recovery. I mean, I still do for the most part. I do it for my eyes make seeing steady difficult but that may change once I get my contact next month. Also, I had a hard time getting around at first so I didn't for a long time but mainly for I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for I was very insecure. It took me a few years to get over that, may not take you that long. Once you are able to find the balance that makes you feel better, you may see that your outlook might change. Try just putting a chair outside and sit in the sun ( Vitamin D) and be sure to take your vitamins.

I had the same problem and I was given Trazadone for night time to sleep. With ADD , your mind can race and even without ADD , similar effects . Im sorry Keep s up t date

I think your "Me" day was awesome. I was a little disappointed when you said people complained but "eff" them. You are one of us, the human race, and can and will always get to look FABULOUS. The checkerboard floor, ah yes, my arch enemy. I have that at, of all places, the Neuroscience Hospital connecting wing to the ophthalmology wing.

I don’t think that you’re doing anything wrong. Have you ever considered that maybe your son is just bored? I mean that in the most sincere way. Some children who have a very inept intelligence, find that studies are very easy hence they get bored. Children now don’t have the same drive as their parents did. You raise a great son and as you have given me the advice many times I shall give her right back we kept the back and no we did our best and now they have to fly. I found with my son the more that you ask more defensive and distant he will be, and the more arguments will arise. . .

Can they give you a diuretic , however I'm sure you're on some anyway. Pretty shoes always make you feel so wonderful. I saw a little friend wear a pair of red & while polka dot Minnie Mouse shoes.. wish they made them in big friends size ;) Your doctor may also suggest lifestyle changes to prevent internal swelling. Some at-home measures you can take include avoiding salt, wearing support hose, or keeping your arms and legs above chest level when lying down. Your doctor might also prescribe medication to relieve inflammation or swelling. Over-the-counter antihistamines can relieve itching and swelling caused by rashes or hives. Topical steroid medication may also be useful in easing skin inflammation. Consult with your doctor if these medications don’t help. You doctor may be able to prescribe a stronger antihistamine.https://www.healthline.com/symptom/swelling

That is seriously My FAVORITE book!!!!!!!!!

Most importantly I'm so very glad you're up and moving again. May I ask how was the ablation? I'm set to get one this summer

When I read : is it wrong that I sang it? Darn jingle

It is a shame that the nursing home hasn't noticed before you. I just worry that , due to the brace ill placement, he may have a sore either on his leg( or foot) or like you said a few sizes to big and is causing a sore/blister. Isn't there an administrator you can bring this up, since no one else had noticed? I'm not trying to sound frantic but I just worry for I worked in NH at one time.

Happy Mothers day to you and everyday.