ksmith

That was so wonderful. It's wonderful to hear about the kindness of others. That made my heart and soul happy <3

I ABSOLUTELY adore the time with Asha. As she said,looking back on what she first told me now makes a lot of sense. I often felt, 'how could you see this as a positive?' She has got to be delusional but over time her words are more truer than most of what I was told be my doctors. She is truly a genuine soul and I look forward to our days together... as long as no road construction lol

OK i Have to get this off my chest: Picture this.. I get into my car after changing from weight watchers to go to the Sea Food Festival. My cell phone rings for a message so i answer it. "Kelli....... this is Mike from Florida.. please call me as soon as you get this" ( Mike is my oldest son's grandfather ) By this time my heart is racing for he NEVER just calls me. So I hurry and called him back. conversation goes as follows: " Hi Mike it's Kelli. what's up?" "Hi kelli.. first let me tell you he's alright...he's ok.....he's going to be ok" Me: "what the hell are you talking about? Mike: " Linda and I weren't going to call but ..Kenny ( My oldest son) was shot on the ankle and taken to the hospital and may have to have surgery" Me: Oh My God.. what happened" Mike: He's going to be ok. So what had happened the short of the long was we're still trying to get to the bottom of it as it is still and on going investigation . The person who was the passenger had a pistol in the glove compartment and was 'trying to put it in the case and accidently discharged grazing his right leg landed into his left ankle shattering the bone I feel he needs to go to a rehab for drinking and abusing marijuana. But i'm in a quandary : He's 21. I can't make him do anything. This is truly testing my inner peace and vibes... I just needed to vent. He's fine he talked to me before the doctors came in. I feel better not to be dealing with this myself. His dad and I are wanting to stage and intervention . I spoke it over with my father who is my subconscious. He stated before we jump into that. we need to ask him what he wants and thinks meaning is he happy with his life choices.. so I'll give him time to recover then ask him

Thank you Ethyl and Sue and my dear Andy

so I was going over to my sink and it hit me : I could never have afforded the place i'm in without having had a stroke and lawsuit. I am completely in awe of everyone whom I've had the pleasure meeting here. I often feel disingenuous after reading the individual stories here mostly due to I see the daily challenges faced. I know a stroke is a stroke and we all have our own struggles and don't compare ourselves to others. I agree.. i just wanted to share my deepest sincerity when i say YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE REASON I CAN CONTINUE TO SURVIVE. I am truly amazed by how you adapt and am thanking you for making me a better person.

SUE ..That was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Thank you so much. Xxxxxxxxx

Ok so not to much to say other than since i've been divorced, I've spent more time at my ex husbands helping him with our son while he is at work. He leaves early for work,, even before the sun rises.. it's been 2 years that we've been separated and one year since divorce. Maybe it's because I've been up here so much that to me, in my mind, no time has passed. I have no concept of time. Like it's been 6+ years since my stroke but to me it's been moments. I put on a brave face and honestly I'm starting to become unraveled. Mainly to the time of year. i LOVE FALL but hate the darker days. This may be part of it. a part of me wants to slide back in to the routine.. it'll never happen. just venting..

i read this then but didnt post but when I feel icky, I re-read this and it always makes me smile when I get to the part of a boyfriend. thanks for being my sunshine

Fingers crossed my dear friend

((applaud))

I challenge everyone to make a list!!! Thanks Jay.

100 things you may not know about me 1. I am a twin 2.my favorite food is pizza 3.I really hate cheese 4. I'm Lactose intolerant 5. I love Vaudeville anything 6. I started to study Buddhism after my stroke 7. I love classical music 8. I played the clarinet in school for 9 years 9. I can play a little in the piano by ear 10. My first concert was Siouxsie and the Banshees 11. I've had my hair every color in the rainbow 12.I was never good at math and my father was a math teacher... go figure?!?!?! 13.I am a huge Florida Gator football fan 14.I had a tummy tuck 15. I will argue till I'm blue in the face 16. In my mind I'm alway right 17.I really dig piercings and tattoos on guys 18. I was asked to model as a child but mom said no 19. I was going to attend Ford Modeling until I found out i was pregnant 20.I used to be really good at golf 21. I used to be pit crew for my son when he raced dirt bikes 22.I HATE SPIDERS 23. I have started to enjoy cooking 24. As a kid we had a Newfoundland dog 25. I was the tallest girl in my elementary school 26. I wasn't allowed to be in the same classroom as my sister...teehee 27.I have always stuttered 28.I have OCD 29. I love all kinds of music 30. scratch that.. i dislike country 31. I loved working hospice 32. I was raised Catholic 34. I remember the Challenger explosion 35. I can't make the rolling r sound with my tongue 36. My favorite show was The Sopranos 37. I love going to New York City 38.I took french in school 39.I always wanted to be a coroner 40. I have never been a good speller 41. I worked with first time mommies 42. I had to call DYFS on a mother who was a threat to her child 43.I secretly want my parents dog 44. I want a pitbull rescue 45. I saw Benny Goodman with my father 46. I dislike basketball 47.I went to cheerleading camp at UF ( GO GATORS) 48. I am afraid of the dark 49. I believe in Ghosts 50. A house near mine as a child was hit by lightning 51. I used to go cow tipping near my house in Cape May Point 52. I had to go to Pennsylvania when we were evacuated for a hurricane 53. i survived Hurricane Andrew 54.I've never seen a tornado 55. I hope I haven't lost count 56.I love watching Hannibal 57. I studied Tae Kwon Do 58. I am a 2nd degree black belt 59. I was only able to spar men 60. I was trained to fight 61. I love to swim 62. I have a fear of sharks 63.I am an Independant.. 65. I was never asked out in High school ( Dad was teacher and football coach) 66.I hardly ever get hit on or asked out 67. My ex husband is still my best friend 68. I secretly love nerdy shows 69.I have always wanted to go to comic con 70.I used to play on line RPG games 71. I have Body Dysmorphic issues 72.I cant make myself burp 73. I used to smoke 74. I've been drug free for 25 years 75. I went into drug rehab when I was 16 76. I am an open book.. sometimes to open 77. I am brutally honest 78.I shaved off my hair for a friend 79. I loved playing in the mud with my kids 80. I still think every body of water in NJ has alligators 81. My cousins had me convinced the Jersey Devil was in their backyard..... IN PA 82. I have a secret crush 83 love making people smile84.I belong to the ASPCA 84 I use to throw jellyfish at my sister 86. I used to sing in the mirror 87. My sister and I turned our basement into a skating rink 88. I am OBSESSED with clean teeth 89.I love watching trashy talk shows 90. I watch Jeopardy 91. My sister and I were the only twins in our town 92. I was close to my late grandmother 93.I love chocolate too much 94. I don't like swimming pools 95.i can sit at the beach for hours 96.i was a junior lifeguard 97. I pride myself with the gift of gab 98.i still dress up for halloween 99. i can't believe I made it this far 100. I can finally breath

:horse: thank you for sharing about yourself. Funny how something as simple as that post, shows how alike we ALL are.. I'm trying to make my list now The gauntlet has been thrown sir!!!

I have to share. My realtor called and informed me my bid was accepted for a condo big enough for me. It is right down the road from my parents. They are at 90 and this is 31. I was so happy this was a fast sale. i wasn't even looking then BAM. saw that and was shown the next day.The whole process took 2 weeks. ( It helped I was paying cash) It was a great surprise so I'll be on my own but close enough to my support system. I've never lived on my own but it has two bedrooms so my youngest can visit and guests AKA ny oldest son

Thanks sweetie

as some people know I have taken inspiration from Steve and wanted to share my insight on the lack of information for Women's sexuality after stroke awareness as well of the lack of information for the medical community when dealing with younger persons who enter the ER who are disregarded of possible stroke signs for stress or anxiety instead. Through my dealings with DVR ( Department of Vocational Rehabilitation) the idea of starting my own business as a blogger to the masses concerning my ideas and everyday life as a stroke survivor and the challenges. WELL.. it was the idea of my job coach ( Due to my defects after stroke, working in a normal work environment would be nearly impossible) I talk to a gentleman who is a champion for small business development He was the director of the South New Jersey Division of the State of New Jersey Small Business Development. He was so excited and agreed that the topics that were my concern are needed to be conveyed. He wants to see me doing public speaking as well as book and other things. My Job coach and I, started to fill out the paper work for my LLC and develop a business plan . ( another one) I am not fulling understanding everything that is happening. Thank goodness I have my DVR helpers. I spoke about the Strokenetwork and how this site has been my saving grace and if there was a way to incorporate this website into what ever I do.; Finger crossed. and Ohh yeah I talk to a realtor Saturday .about making an offer on my own place.. It;s just big enough for one and .5 miles from my parents .

thank you all for your words of encouragement. I told her I can't do this anymore and she was OK... ( i hope) and if not ...blah

I went to a dance club with my best friend and I was totally excited. Well I feel my friendship was put to the test over this. We went to dinner and had a great time. Had cranberry juice in a fancy glass. Started out great. We sat outside in the by the 'fireplaces' and felt really good with my ear plugs in. It really wasn't packed full of people. (Let me add in this for it comes up later: she is the one why I shaved my hair off. She has a shunt infection in her head.) . There was a DJ outside and cigarette smoking ... **cough** Everybody out there was drinking and I remembered that everyone seems to have fun there while drinking. I'm over that So she, my bff, was so happy I was out but in the same breath doubting my length of time. So what if I could only last an hour.. ok hour and a half I did my best. The more I thought about it. our friendship was mainly focused around going out. .. I really enjoyed doing that. I feel that since my stroke i hAve grown up in that clubbing and dancing are to boring for me. So I am not that fun girl that she wants to hang with and the fact that I wasn't sure she understood or did not care that I was struggling. She told me 'After my surgery, I had to get back out there and I got better at dancing." Well she has another friend that she works with and parties. I'm happy for her. The whole time out she was busy texting. Granted i don't talk much nor truly go out much. She said she understood but not sure, I know that trying to explain how I feel with the stroke can't be understood unless y6ou had one or have experience with someone who had a stroke. I don't know I'm just closing in on myself and growing up to not want to party and if she cant understand that.. friendship will have a HUGE bump. I'm still trying to recover . I feel like a mac truck hit me

Thank you Yvonne and Fred

Sue.. spot on. I wish the best for you. It's like I don't want to go through all the basics again and potentially frighten someone off.

I'm so glad you had a wonderful trip and glad you are back. It shows you that you did a great job raising him if he did so well while you gone xxooxx

Hi all. I truly don't like talking about myself, though it seems easy lol. After the woman's chat and doing research at the library I began to look inward and discover that I am truly terrified about dating. I don't like going out in crowds,noise,lights and enjoy going to bed early and staying in bed for hours.(not being romantic but not having the energy to even lift my head) Not sounding so tempting. I think I'm becoming a prisoner of my dizziness and I'm finally beginning to realize that. I feel like a hypocrite when I try to share a message of going out there and trying something new when I'm trying to avoid my fear behind a keyboard. My heart is in the right place but i feel like all my stages of guilt are starting to reappear again and thats ok. No one says that once the stages of guilt happen the aren;t going to happen again. Just wanted to get that off my chest.... thanks

Oh my yes Yvonne. This is the chat for you. We will be talking about things along that line.