ksmith

So we had a great deal of feed back to our topic about reclaiming the woman in us after stroke. The thing I noticed is that this conversation isn't talked about a lot. Is it taboo? Well yes. If you look at the general age bracket of stroke survivors in woman, the age is between 50's and 70's. Well unfortunately, there are younger women who are suffering stroke and this topic isn't as a behind the closed door conversation. I am talking to my Vocational Rehabilitation Caseworker about this very conversation. As a result of my stroke, I am unable to hold a part time job, due to many factors ( i.e. balance,vision,processing information.. to name a few) so she suggested to me starting my own business as a blogger. We are in the process now of a business plan and getting my LLC to begin sharing my journey of stroke and finding my inner woman. I wanted to venture in this because of a lack of information and a lack of conversations in rehab centers and hospitals. Many relationships, as we know from reading on here, fall to pieces after stroke and most woman on here don't know what to do. I* have no problems being honest,sometimes I'm a little brass, talking about sex and all the goodies. I mean you have to learn new ways and I've done a lot of research on this topic. Getting into contact with some therapist I've gotten to know over the course of my journey with stroke to insure I share the proper information with out chat friends on the 21st. I thank Steve all the time for giving me the green light on this subject. From all the correspondence we've had concerning this topic, I know many women are going to be very happy to learn, both survivors and caregivers, that stroke doesn't have to mean the end all. (PS I'm not going anywhere lol)

Well I've been under stress because I'm staying at my ex husbands with our son and life seems to be like it always has been so in a strokies head it's confusing. So I was at home ( aka parents house) and bent down to pick up something that fell and when I stood up, my pulse began to race. Ok No biggie. I've had this happen many times and seen a cardiologist and got the OK heart is 'strong like bull' and put my on a low dose of meds to keep it slow (runs in the family) and she taught me tricks to slow it down. Ok Did the grunting push like I'm trying to push out a baby.. extend stomach...hold breath and count.. Ok not working. SO i called my mom to check my BP. ( former nurse so we ALL have fancy gadgets) trouble is she cant find a pulse. Reasons found later, it was beating to fast. I mean I just went through this it seems like months ago. Had to go to ER and pulse them was around 250ish. So I'm telling my son and father, who stayed behind, I'm feeling fine. A little out of breath but joking with my mom. Got to the ER told the receptionist I was having rapid heart rate and I have stroke in my history. She told me to wait in the waiting room. I was floored because last time I was rushed back to triage ASAP. About 5 minutes later, not bad, I was called back ( no one in waiting) and the triage nurse checked my vitals. Well this time It was 220, Still high. O2 was about 88% for I was starting to breath more shallow. I was whisked back to ER and all the goodies were pulled out. The doctor came back and asked 'What do i remember about the last time I was in?' I laughed and said, with my eyes closed for they were REALLY bouncing,'I was alright until the pulled out the crash cart' as I said that I opened my eyes and there in front of me was the crash cart. We all laughed as I said I was going to close my eyes again. I was prepped for a a shot to stop and restart my heart. I now know how scary it is for someone having a heart attack. It's painful when the heart stops. Last time when I had the shot, I was more out of it because the lack of blood getting to my head. All i know is the team was telling me to breathe for when the pain came over me, my eyes opened wide and I'm sure I had the look of fear is my eyes. But after they did that. I was fine. They came and took blood samples and all came back fine and I REALLY wanted to go home. I mean my mom made her famous chicken pot-pie. I was never so happy when they said I could go home. And yes I loved the pot-pie =)

I am so happy all is Ok. Go and doll up and enjoy that show!!!! Happy Rebirthtines's Day Andy xxooooooooxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Welcome to the site. I used to live in Volusia county . Hope to chat with you soon.

May please tell you while reading your blog,honestly,I felt like a pink ribbon winding its way through every word. You exude happiness in your words whether upset or depressed. That isn't something you might expect to read after everything you just wrote but it was a pleasant experience. I just wanted to share that.

Hello all. It's been a looong while since I've blogged. My DVR ( Disability Vocational Rehabilitation) coach had passed the idea to me about blogging. I'm not very good at this but here ya go. I talk a lot but I really don't like talking a lot about me. Honestly. I'll ice the cake as they say but don't like to make the filing. ( crap.. Sassy got my thinking of food)) :wish: Most, if not all of you know I'm divorced and am living with my family. I enjoy immensely being there. I have a good relationship with them. I tend to forget that I'm a mother, of two boys,and 40. It's like I', reliving my teen years which I have no memory of. My parents aren't treating as a 'kid' but rather I am. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm old enough to take care of myself, if circumstances were different. The troubling part of this, and I may have said this before, is I'm not heart broken. As a result of my stroke , I've lost a incredible amount of my memories and coincidentally the first 9 years of being my ex-husband. So after the stroke, unbeknownst to me, there was a matter which divided myself and him. Despite that he stood by my side as my cheerleader for the first 5 years of my stroke. So we are still incredibility close friends and I'm still super close to his family. I mean 15 years if hard to throw away.. or is it? As the time passes, its horrible to say but the memories and closeness I shared with his father is starting to fade. And it scares me. I realize it's not my fault and I'm not to worry myself about that for as long as the people in my life aw aware of my memory issues, the have to understand that there are some things out of mt control, such as this. I've been so very proud of the positive stance I've taken on so many things. There was something I read that stuck with me and that was; The person who tries to make everyone happy is normally the one in the most pain' That really hit a chord with me because I have admitted and have been told I tend to see life through rose colored lenses. That​ always isn't a bad thing but I maybe seeing life with not a care in the world and that scares me..This may sound pretentious but I never had to pay for health insurance, bills and now I think the reality is coming at me full force. I'm not being asked to move out of my parents. I'm just venting I guess for If I talk about it in the end I work it out. So I'm currently at my ex husbands house helping out getting our son up ad to and from school while he is working. He works past the time of Latched Kay after school programs. Now here is the issue i have. I don't mind helping out.. I don't really do anything anyway. BUT.. if I wanted.. I can't but i also know he is my son and I never had the joint custody thing. The plus is he doesn't expect me to do housework,cook only for my son and I. He's still the same easy going understanding guys who watched me start off from scratch to what I am now. He has been informed when I find a job, I can't make all these trips. My only fear is, and we've not talked about it as of yet , is I'll tell him I can't help anymore for gas and travel and exhaustion, I'll be basically cut out. My therapist told me i will always be his mom, i get that. Many of my family have made the observation that once he had a child, that was it. Now I'm sure that's not the case but I have nothing to judge that on for I don't remember. So here lies the conundrum. Thanks for letting me ramble.

Buck is lucky to have you and he you, It was great news to hear about his leg movement. Sounds like his brain and body are trying really hard. Happy Thanksgiving

That sounds like a wonderful dinner. It's not about the food but being thankful, and that you are. P.S. shrimp is good anytime of year yummy

Yes but also know that rehab won't be forever and you can even wear fancy clothes at home. When you loo good,you feel good xxooxx

I hope you weathered OK during the storm

I am so happy for you. I got the feeling while reading your blog of such peace with you. One good thing after another is happening for you and falling into place.Good luck Oct.9th. I'll be keeping positive thoughts your way that day

Thanks Asha ♡

Well I've been helping my ex husband out with getting our son ready and off to school for he is working out of state and has to leave about 4:45a and my son's bus comes at 8:10a. I don't mind for I'm not working yet. Well I'm not one to really blog but I'm going through a strange experience, in my mind I feel like I never left and it's been almost a year that I've moved out. It looks the SAME way.. but really messy. I'm at a crossroads for i want to clean up for my son also lives here but I'm torn for it's not my house anymore. The biggest challenge for me is telling myself all the time is 'Time Has Passed' I want to just pick up from where we were and I know he doesn't feel the same for he still has ALL the past to contest with. We're not fighting. We're not rude to each other. I'm not leading with my heart here but my memories are trying to break me down to think It's just been a few days.

please give her my healing thoughts and blessings

hi Karen, The reality of people trailing off after stroke is unfortunately a very common thing. We all have different views as to why, not wanting to get involved with helping, don't know what to do there could be so many reasons. As to your comment about the magic 3-6 month mark, there isn't a magic mark. Recovery takes time and sometime that can take can take months to years. Thing happen at a snails pace and becoming overly stressed about the 'what if's' only tend to make it feel like forever, What your family and friends suggest is just that. They truly don't know and understand and all you have to do is politely say to them;' Thank you for suggesting that. I'll consider it' You're not rude and being un truthful. I would consider finding a local stroke group where you are as well as the great one we have here and talk to other caregivers and get new ideas for coping. Sometimes the basic rule of thumb we've learned as survivors is that the first year is the hardest for survivors and caregivers. His brain went through a terrible ordeal. It needs time as well as get the swelling back to normal. There are great caregivers here that can better fill you in for the operations of day to day and getting you started with filing for SSDI and Medicare. You aren't wrong in your feelings. Your human and you can't change what was. For his happiness, I'd consider talking to a therapist who knows and understands Stroke or TBI and can help him along with this new life. Sending positive blessings to you . xxoo

What I do is after I go to the blog screen, I click the view new content. If that is what you are doing then I will learn from you what works better

I completely agree with you. If someone is battling this for any period of time, there is no telling what goes through ones mind. Depression coupled with drug and/or alcohol is a deadly combination. I don't want to and won't talk about what could have or shouldn't have taken place instead I want to share my frustration with the misdiagnosis of the invisible illness. So many people not only in show business but after combat or some other form of trauma, are just swept under the rug because they continue to have a upbeat life or make others laugh. I'm reminded of Pierrot ( the sad clown) Trying to put on a funny face when inside he is sad.

I'm so happy you had a great time!!!!

I am so glad she is doing better. I'm sure its not the subject of the book you read but your voice that made Mama feel better. Keep up the great work!!