ksmith

It's a good thing that you are jut releasing it. I'm so happy your attacks have gotten less xxooxx

Keep up the good work!!!! Ace!!!

I understand about calling friends and they're all at work. I am going to be solo here soon as well so try to find a groovy hobby. Get a little window box and start growing something. Start a blob for other single ladies out there. I can't go to clubs or bars ( noise and quit drinking) Would you get fish or something?

well it sounds like you are able to do more in the car so your brain isn't quite up to speed with the new fun things you can do. Even if it may not seem like a huge change of activity, it is to your brain. Give it time to adjust to your new perspective. Your brain and body know life in the wheelchair. Let it get used to life in a fancy chair

thank you Sue. I've been 'feeling' my teenager side living home. I have to remind myself i'm 40

I know I've been sporadically here as of late. As many of you know I'm going through a divorce and it's an odd feeling. Not so much as the procedure but the fact I'm stumped because I know he exhausted with the memories pre stroke and that is where I am at a loss. I have no idea. I've excepted the idea it's OK not to always understand. I guess because all I know is the past 5 years and knowing I'm going to start fresh kinda scares me for he's all I've ever known if you think about it. I know if I had extra income coming in I'd be OK. Living on SSID isn't fun. i'm currently at my parents and there is NO rush for me to leave. I love being here for I'm a beach kinda person and they live near many. ( I refuse to call it Down at the Shore for the whole god darn state is basically a 'shore line') I digress .. I feel happier for I feel like me, if that makes sense. We get along great. We hardly argued before but the fact he stayed with me for 5 years after the stroke and helped me recover speaks volumes of his character. And we've signed the settlement agreement and it has astonished many people because the monies I got in the settlement, in which he is entitled to,he opted to just have his name removed from all joint accounts and they remain mine. We are very civil which is why I'm befiddled a lot because if we are so good together ..why? But I know understand he has to deal with the past. Again, my memory loss is a blessing and a curse.

I WANT PICTURES!!!!!

Mike, I'm so sorry but the way you speak of your wife shows the love and compassion you both had for one another. You showed her the utmost love when you allowed her to make up her mind about wanting to do it her way. She has given you the most beautiful gift.. true love and happiness. in healing thoughts, Kelli

that's is a brilliant way to see things. Despite our downfalls in life, we are always teachers first. If we can't do things for our kids, the fact we can instill the basic fundamentals of 'being human' to our children is the best gift and job well done!!

I'm so happy you found us as well. Just so you know, just because therapy stops doesn't mean your recovery ends there. Everyday you will improve and you can use some of the tip you learned in therapy to do at home. Being a mother is therapy everyday =)

Well it started out as a celebration of a selfless and beautiful woman's departure into heaven. This particular person had been a godsend in our lives after my stroke and continued to be even when she was battling cancer. Even though we were sadden by the day we were reminded of all the lovely attributes she had imprinted to the many lives she touched. My husband and I were driving back to my house and I started to experience a flutter in my chest that I've had before and never thought much about it in the past for it usually stopped by itself. I've had this as well as my parents in the past and it would only happen like once ever blue moon. This time was different. My husband got a bunch of guff for not taking me to the ER but in his defense, I told him no for he has been there with me when it would stop on its own. We returned to my parents and I still could not catch my breath to calm down. My mother, the 'ex-nurse' (sidebar I laugh for its like once and Marine always a Marine ) had asked me 'Are you sure you don't want to go to the ER?' With a mothers glare, how can you say no. So after a total of 30+ minutes like this and not able to walk 20 feet without stopping 4 times we made it in the hospital. All I was able to get out of my mouth was 'heart.... stroke..' I was rushed back ASAP . I was found to have a pulse of 250 and the fact of having a bunch of staff surrounding my bed was reminiscent of when I was having a stroke. That probably exacerbated the rate too. I was administered two doses of a liquid that as a nurse told me 'basically punches my heart in the face to act right'. Well it worked. I was then monitored for 24 hours since I was a history of stroke. As a precaution, I was giving Heparin shots in my belly. Now it looks like I was covered in grape jelly. I was told that my heart has two circuits that are both slow when one of them should be fast. It just needs to a watched. Heart issues do run in the family and one major thing I have to give up is chocolate.... Oh the humanity

i love you guys

well after going through my SSID payments and now having to pay for Medicare.. I'm beginning to understand how hard it is. I say that not as being Prudish but having a security with someone else paying the bills. I'm much more appreciative of what I've read over the years here. I'm better understanding the implications of 'fixed income' I never really dealt with it before. Now I sound like a spoiled brat but I'm going to be 40 this year and have NEVER paid a rent, mortgage or anything on my own, I know so now the term 'princess' has a bitter ring to it. Despite the setbacks.. I'm looking forward to my new adventure. Scared? Of course. I am not above living in some areas but I refuse to bring my son to a place when has shooting all the time. Most of the 'apartments' that are in my price range, are also being used as half way houses from the Federal and State prisons. That is what the south side of Millville is really. I was looking to stay near there for my son but it's looking like I may have to move a bit further away. That bothers me for my ex husband will have primary custody only because the school that my son is in now, he's doing very well in. It would be selfish if I pulled him out without a stable place. I've never been with out my son to my knowledge and that's only since the stroke so from going from daily to ever other weekend is killing me. I'm afraid i'm gong to loss my memory of him (it happens fast). I do get a phone call daily after school and before bedtime to wish me good night. I know my husband,still can't say ex all the time, is playing fair and is looking after my and our sons best. He's not asking for anything, We're still good friends. That's all for now..Oh yeah I passed my written driving test. Now the rehab starts in Feb. for sure!!

most definitely xxoo

well sometimes people grow in different ways. As Sandy said, I was blessed to have him in my life for those 5 years. I'm not bitter and neither is he. We're better friend now. I say that because after the stroke, I like I was trying to fill someone else's shoes. I felt as if I didn't really know him.. Now I can with a happy heart

I could be saddened .. I am but he was a great father, caregiver. I'm thankful to have had him after my stroke. This stroke wiped out a lot of my memories, I said to him I don't feel like I fit in. I was thrown into marriage and mother.. I felt like my children were my step children . But we are going to be there for each other. No hard feelings. Stroke changed me. As I said before, I was told I had an affair before my stroke.. the fact he stayed with my for 5 years after my stroke, I couldn't be more blessed.

yes I'm happy to have had him in my life when I needed it

Well I walked in to my therapist office with my mother to meet with my husband.. Only to find out he has already contacted a lawyer and is pursuing a divorce. I knew it could happen but never to us. I have a major problem with my memory that I have very limited long term and shorter short term. I have always told him I feel out of place and I'm trying to fill someone else's shoes as a wife and mother. He has been patient with me but the over whelming of it all is to much. Our arguing, mainly I want intimacy and that is one thing he can't do. I'm pretty sure it has to do with what happened before the stroke. I don't remember but he does and for me to expect him to forget would be asking a lot. He will always remember but you have to forgive and he can't do that.. But I must say he has been supportive with me since the stroke. I'm just shocked. Many people I have talked to get a divorce after a life changing experience. sucks

I agree with Debbie