ksmith

Sue,

 What a shock to hear and you are putting on a great face. I truly believe you have been a blessing for many that you are going to be blessed. With all that is out in the medical field, could there be a way to decrease or monitor so you can live everyday with happiness in your heart and a smile on your face xxoox

Tracy.. 

I have issues going to bed but it'd with ADD.. Maybe you need a sleeping pill.. I need to have it or my brain keeps me up all night long, no matter how tired I am

I take Trazadone … That may not work for you but even still , sometimes it doesn't do the trick..

15 hours ago, ruthwilliam said:

 

Yes,  it seems that life is unfair.  Caregivers ending up by themselves.  Yes, we can stay on our own as long as we are healthy.  I have preregistered with a funeral home and am slowly getting rid of some of my stuff. 

Most of my friends are older than I am and say that I am still young.  It seems that I have lived a few lifetimes.  

I try to live each day to the fullest.  As we know each day is a blessing.

Ruth

these are very poignant words though truths. Powerful 

Ruth, I'm sorry that it had to come to this but I'm very glad you got all things in order beforehand so you have a clear(er) mind and schedule to devote to spending time with him. I was absolutely warmed with all that hospice offers and the volunteers that will be able to help.  And never forget that , as you may know, even through he may be sleeping a lot, he can still hear you.  As Sue said, keep time for yourself ..  

I know that you are a tough woman and though I can't imagine what you've been through, you are in my prayers :) 

16 hours ago, heathber said:

phones and laptops need to be removed from reach while you are drugged! Glad it went well. Hope the incisions heal well and quickly!

that is so true :) 

HR from The Arc contacted me yesterday and I replied with what she asked and I had to apologize for I didn't really make sense for I was still under anesthesia. Thankfully she was a good sport about it lol

On ‎7‎/‎18‎/‎2018 at 7:09 PM, tmciriani said:

Its called Lesser Evil Bhudda Bowl Foods Himalayan Sweetness EV organic coconut oil + Organic Popcorn + Himalayan Pink Salt. What a name. I don't feel guilty at all...organic, 100% grain, gluten free, Kosher, cholesterol free, a good source of fiber, vegan, non GMO, and no artificial anything. It has to be good for me! LOL !!! I'm still gonna get those fries soon.

I LOVE THOSE FRIES xxooxx

On ‎8‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 8:02 PM, PaulNash said:

I've got the same problem, but other way around.  I crash when I get into bed, usually asleep within minutes, but wake after 5 or 6 hours, and cannot get back to sleep.  So I get up and start a l_o_n_g day.

 

And sleeping pills seem to have no real effect, other than leaving me fuzzy-headed when I wake up 6 hours later. 

 

 

yikes. My mom was just saying that no matter what time she goes to bed... 5am ( Bing) then I hear she made bread, laundry, mop the floors.. and me I went from my ed to my couch lol 

I had my first interview and I was very honest about my issues. This is not set in stone and I say that for I'm not sure I can even do it or I'm released by my doctor but I have to give it a shot. Thankfully I also shared my interest for assistant Supervisor and I was told I'm qualified .Fingers crossed 

Congratulations on your PET scan.  Now you can enjoy spring time without worry

Asha, 

I understand your feelings. I go that way sometimes and felt similar ways with Rob.  My therapist told me that he would not be with you if he didn't want to. what if you went to him and gave him a kiss or kinda being romantic, maybe he's waiting on you to make the move 

good. I'm so glad it was in normal range. Do they think it is a fatty ball Lipoma? https://www.healthline.com/health/skin/lumps oh yeah 

On ‎7‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 5:16 AM, tmciriani said:

. You can see it better when I bend my neck to the left.

don't bend your head to the left goober  

Sue, my mother showed me to crotchet and I do it, not well, to relax my hands from knitting lol

I'm so sorry your morning started out like crapola.  I know when I start of my morning in a traumatic way, it basically throws me off for the rest of the day. Sometimes you are completely stressed out without feeling like you are. I mean you , as well as your dad,  just got bad news so it is understandable if your emotions are whacky.  Your brain, as you know, directs and manages your emotions so when there is a 'detour' , the fluid path of brain waves that controls your emotions, now as to go a different 20 miles out of its way. The point is... you are doing all you can. Stroke is stressful, disability is stressful, cancer is stressful. (( I'm not going to lie.. my thought just went **poof** )) xxoox

6 hours ago, SassyBetsy said:

Sorry Tracy I got excited looking at fries right?

 

yeah it's a yummy food. It's an silly thing between us. But I do LOVE Mc Donald's FF's 

I'm with you with this like Ketchup & Fries xxxxx 

it sounds like you were already overwhelmed, even before the vacuum incident. I tried once to watch my niece and nephew and my younger son at once and it lasted one day. I love them and like you've said, before stroke, in another life being around kids and/or a lot of activity was nothing to handle. Now, as I said before, I go into a panic at a shopping store with out my headphones to tune out the noise. It's not just the noise for me but my eye sight isn't the best. Mainly for the bouncing and I can't focus and comprehend what I'm seeing so I feel like I'm in a foreign country and don't speak or read the language. I feel like a shut in when I can't hang with my family doing some things but thankfully, my family are in the medical field and understand my barriers and try to accommodate me. But it still sucks . I try to choose my battles like this Wednesday my parents and I are going to a concert ( Doobie Brothers & Steely Dan) so I know I need to do NOTHING the day before to rest up or on Thursday, I know I need to veg out. Unexpected things are the worse. I can't plan for anything for sadly minute by minute my mood, or head health, changes in an instant.  Kitty love is the best    

It's not just coffee. I can't exercise at any level for once my heart reaches 100 bmp it starts to flutter or something as silly as getting excited for anything or singing to a song ( I can't sing but helps with my Aphasia) … But coffee or caffeine is a happy end result :)  

For the parking, I 'kinda' get why he put her first because they're married. I know you get it but on the flip of the token, I would have been so hurt myself. I found when I watch a game show from the 1950's - 70's " What's my line" on YouTube and I like the panel and I start to get choked up thinking they have all passed. If I'm watching something that makes you feel 'warm and fuzzy' I begin to cry. I have been completely weaned off of my depression meds.. so I have 10+ years of emotions that were suppressed that need to come out. As with you, my day to day functions change literally everyday. I can't plan anything. it sucks. you understand that. I'm thankful of your blog for I have a hard time keeping a thought or point in my brain long enough to post my thoughts and yours are almost a like.  I "heart' you :) 

Best wishes your way. If you start foot support , please let us know 

Sometimes all you can do is smile. I agree that it is bad form not to keep your word though I do understand that sometimes life happens and our memory isn't always so sharp. You just continue making beautiful art and making others smile and a stupendous high five for raising a flipping awesome son  

Dean, 

your 2nd stroke wasn't that long ago.  I'm sure as with the 1st, once you get a routine with yourself , after some time you were able to do more than you thought.  I can understand not having the confidence to go out and that is a hard hurdle , I know It was with me, however I finally came to the realization that I'm not going to be happy unless I say "F-it" I'm doing this. My therapist once told me, which is true, we are our own worst enemy within our heads. She said imagine walking into a restaurant. We "know" everyone is looking at us and judging us. The reality is they are so consumed with their own lives that they may look up at us and continue to talk about their issues.  I know I hated going out. I had a bus system call C.A.T.S  ( Cumberland County Transportation Service), named for the county I lived in, that services the elderly and handicapped within our county. And State Wide, there was another transportation service for Handicapped  ( with a small free for both per trip) that helped me for everything. Maybe if you look into your state there might be something like that.

I take Trazadone for sleep myself. I have 'speed brain' and grind my teeth ( wear night guard) and my schedule varies day to day. Some nights I go to bed before 8pm and then after 3am.

But .. You have someone making you breakfast daily???? Sweet

Tracy,

your house looks beautiful. Will you travel to New Jersey?

Maybe that's why my rule is : "Don't plan me doing anything before 10a"

Hey, If the WACKY Tabacky works for you.. then more power. I recently learned of a bi-partisan bill going through the senate to allow states to decide how to treat marijuana. I believe that would allow more respite for people with pain. I haven't found the right strain yet so I use Hemp oil.  enough about this ( im passionate about legalizing)

Only staying inside : I went through a server bought of isolation myself. I mainly did that in the beginning of my recovery. I mean, I still do for the most part. I do it for my eyes make seeing steady difficult but that may change once I get my contact next month.  Also, I had a hard time getting around at first so I didn't for a long time but mainly for I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for I was very insecure. It took me a few years to get over that, may not take you that long.

Once you are able to find the balance that makes you feel better, you may see that your outlook might change.  Try just putting a chair outside and sit in the sun ( Vitamin D) and be sure to take your vitamins.