Kellyk

Stroke Caregiver - female
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  1. Kellyk
    Needing advise from someone who has some insight in how to deal with the loss of my mom. She had her second stroke on Sunday, July 15th which took the entire right side of her brain. I stayed by her side for 9 days until she passed. The nights were so bad as she was in pain, ran high fevers and even seizures but I didn't want her to be alone. I've been with her almost daily for the last 3 years and now I just don't know what to do. Tonight is the first night that we haven't had a bunch of company and my family has finally returned to their own homes so it's just my husband and myself. It's so hard she was my bestfriend and the greatest mom anyone could ever have and now I feel I have nothing. I know this was best for her as she lost all functions with this stroke but I'm not sure how to cope. My whole world has been turned upside down. Please help!
  2. Kellyk

    Caregiver Guilt

    By Kellyk,

    Labor Day 2009 mom had a stroke and I made about 3 to 5 trips a week to the carehome about 15 miles away. My siblings went over maybe 6 times the whole time she was there. In October of 2010 we moved her from the carehome back to her home and my daughter, one other caregiver and myself have been providing her with 24/7 care since that time. I have been putting in 92 hours a week (40 at my day job) and then 62 with mom. I have a family that for the past 1 1/2 years have been doing everything without me, no vacations, no birthday celebrations, no dinners out with just my husband. The Doctor put a halt to the hours of care that I'm able to provide as my health has been suffering and I just can't work that many hours any longer.
     
    So about two weeks ago I hired 3 other caregivers to help care for mom and she is not adjusting well. She won't eat and she's furious with me as her daughter for making these changes. My brother and sister have no opinion on this and that only makes it worse. She won't look at me, she won't kiss me goodnight......she just sit's and ignores me the whole time I'm there. I've tried to talk with her but she refuses to listen to the fact that my health is suffering. I have such strong feelings of guilt for not being there for her like I have been and I don't really know what to do other than pray that she gets over it soon as it's tearing me apart to have her mad at me. Please can anyone help?