Your husband may qualify for yearly PT-OT, if you are on Medicare or through his insurance. I take Bruce to Outpatient every year for what I call his "tune up." The first few years, I sat in on every session. Now I sit and read, use their pool or just walk the grounds.
I had caregivers in to help - we private paid as we did not qualify for paid assistance, but Bruce did better with me and I had gotten to the point where I could not work and take care of him, so I retired and therefore had to stop paid caregivers. I will treat myself from time to time with a dinner with friends or a movie. I ask friends to stay with him and every once in a while, I will pay for someone to stay with him.
What I do want to share with you is that the routine that you and your husband are in now will not continue. Changes will occur and readjustment is needed. This is difficult for us caregivers. We have to totally rethink what we are doing and what is required to function daily. Fitting in time for ourselves changes as their needs change.
I did look into "Respite" care for Bruce. I am trying to get away for an overnight with my sister. But the SNFs that will do Respite care, at least here, require a 4 day stay. Yes, Medicare will pay for it. As much as I would love 3 or 4 days off, I can't do that to Bruce and I would just dwell on that and not enjoy my time. But it may work for you and you have to check into your insurance and see what they allow.
Also, if your husband now requires more help from you, his PCP can order PT-OT at home, due to "change in condition."
For me, the biggest thing was getting enough sleep. In the early days, HostSue advised when Bruce slept, I had to sleep - regardless of what else had to get done and over the years, I have kept to it. Bruce no longer naps, but I make sure I get a good 6 hours overnight and then I can function.
This is such a difficult time for you and your husband. A transition, for sure and so difficult to work through it. Go easy. Debbie