djeffries

MC: I am extremely moved by your loss and I will hold you, your parents and your sister-in-law, in prayer. There will be rough times ahead, many things will cause memories to come 'flooding back', but rest in the comfort that God knows your feelings and regrets, in this time of loss. He is close to you, if you allow Him to be. Yes, we do let 'issues' come between relatives and sometimes the 'pain' is easier to suppress than they are to face. MC, know that I, and the entire StrokeNet 'family' is there for you. If you need anything, or just want to chat, please PM me, PLEASE. Host Denny

Katrina: Yes, I can remember all your blogs, concerning these very things you are thankful for. Members on here, myself included, keep on encouraging you. We know being a stroke survivor IS a challenge, but when our attitude is positive, and we keep our chin up, we can only see progress, even if it is a little at a time. Congratulations on all these progresses. There will be more in the future. Just keep thinking positively. Denny

Okay, just got back from my post-op eye appointment and boy, am I, or should I say my wife, in for a fun time the next 3-4 weeks. She has to put eye drops, 3 different types, in my right eye, either 3 or 4 times a day. I have to wear an eye sheild when I take a nap, or sleep at night, for two weeks. Doesn't fit the greatest with my CPAP mask. Oh well, just need to put extra tape on the sheild. And so, the fun shall continue. Next week, and for a month, I get to play 'Nurse Denny' because she is going in for out-patient surgery on her back. She will have two wires implanted and they will be sticking out, connected to a monitor. Suppose to remedy her bladder problem. Denny

Long time since I blogged. I guess I need to supply an update. By reading the update, you might understand why I haven't blogged in a l-o-n-g time. As you might remember, I was hit by my pickup, last November 2009. I suffered 5 cracked ribs, and recovery took about 7 months, until I healed. Because of that accident, I was dianosed with Atrial Fibrillation, and I had a cardioversion on Feburary 5, 2010. End of December 2009, I was in hospital for Dehydrated Kidneys, which I found out was kidney failure. Because I was on Coumadin, for the atrial fibrillation, I developed rectal bleeding. This went on for several months - a lot better now and off coumadin. But, that's enough medical history. On October 2, 2010, I participated in our local American Heart Walk, raising a total amount of $1,565.00. I volunteer once a week, at a local Rescue Mission. Three weeks ago, I helped with a Ladies Christmas Tea. I 'served' coffee and keep the teapots full of hot water. This past Saturday, I made the menu and cooked for 55 men, at my church's Men's Ministry Breakfast. We had 'fresh' scrambled eggs, sausage patties, hash brown potatoes, orange juice, coffee and pastries. This morning, November 24, I had cataract surgery on my right eye. Total time was about 3 hours -- from arrival time, to surgery, to recovery and then being released.As I'm typing, I sitting here, only able to see with one eye (eye patch on right eye). Other than these few details, I'm fine. Denny

Katrina: I've read your many blogs, which you have written in the past, that you were considering yourself hopeless, helpless and doomed to live life as an old 'wicked witch' of the south. Everyone on here was offering you advice as to help you cope, at a young age, with your stroke. However, that being said, today I read your updated blog and I was estatic with your attitude about your stroke. You HAVE have taken, and made the first step to recovery -- admitting that you have accepted the stroke and that you can make it on your own, although there will be 'little bumps' along the way. My stroke will be 12 years ago, on June 26, and I realized that my attitude WAS the only way that I would be able to 'deal' with my stroke. I realize the struggles you are having with college. Eight months after my stroke,(at age 47) I enrolled in a 16-month culinary program, to learn to become a chef. Yes it was hard, I wanted to quit, but I didn't. I did graduate with a 3.8 GPA. All this is to say that you can do anything that you put your mind to. YES, there will be challenges along the way, but remember that, in anything you do -- you ARE doing your best. Keep your positive attitude up, stay focused and do keep us informed of your successes and failures We are interested, or at least I am. Denny

Katrina: Sending you a virtual ((((((HUG)))))). I know that you are struggling, it has been 8 years since your stroke. I can only encourage you, keep praying for you, 'caring' your burdens as a fellow stroke survivor. You say you see no progress. I would suggest you buy'get a notebook and, each day, write down three things that you are thankful for. Also, write down any progress/changes that you see with your affected arm/leg/hand. Even the slightest movement (i.e. lifted wrist 1/4-inch or fingers moved a little bit) should be written down. Then, a year from today, look at the book and just see what improvement you might experience. I'm sure that you have experienced improvement, but since you didn't record it, you can't go back and 'relive' the improvements you made, no matter how small. I can relate to the coldness affecting your extremities. My left hand WILL clench intoa tight fist when i go outside in the cold. I can drive, but sometimes I take public transit, to the mall to walk. YES, I put the change in my left hand (affected side) and, upon going outside, my hand clenches, then I need to 'pry' to pay fare when bus comes. Or, wife and I go grocery shopping. When I push the shopping cart (you call it a buggy) outside, just that quick, the coldness will make my hand 'clench' into a fist. Did you ever try to get a shopping cart (buggy in your case) in the passenger side of a van? IMPOSSIBLE !!! My stroke was over 12 years ago and I still experience problems, but I can also look back and reminisce of some of my 'improvements that I have managed to accomplish, but they were only through the grace and mercy of God, who has you in His loving and caring arms, even now. Denny

Katrina: I can understand your frustration with your stroke. You are young and really questioning the 'results' of your stroke. God does have you in his 'great out-stretched hands'. I understand the struggles that you are facing in school. I've been there also. However, I am much older than you. My stroke was in June 26, 1998, when I was 46 years old. In February 1999, I attended a 16-month program to become a chef. I have NO feeling on my entire left side and I am also numb on the same side. I can count on two fingers the number of times I cut myself in 16 months. YES, I wanted to quit school, YES, studying for tests was difficult, YES my classmates thought that I was 'wasting time' since I was so slow. Even my chef Instructor told me that I would never be a good chef. I persisted, I made adjustments in my cooking and preparations, I did pass my tests and YES, I did graduate in June 2000, with honors. My GPA was 3.85. When my name was called, my classmates gave me a standing ovation. I say all of this, to say that God will be 'walking alongside you' as you go about your daily activities. Shortly after my stroke, two close friends gave me the Bible Verse of Jeremiah 29:11. The verse states: "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". This IS my life verse and I really, really believe that God has given me that promise to continue with life. Keep your chin up, take time to seek out the promises that God is giving to you. Ask ladies from your church to help you 'grow' and ask if they could be a mentor to you. I know you can go far, achieve whatever you put your mind to, and that you may be content with the life you are living. It may not be the life you wanted, but with God's strength, He can make all things possible, to those who believe. Denny

Lorraine: It sounds like you ARE overwhelmed with things to do. Questions that need answers. No hope from medical profession (common thing). things that you need to accomplish to bring your brother home. And the list goes on. One suggestion that I offer is to start a journal on your brother's progress -- anything that he does that seems significant (no matter how small). Even if he moves his affected arm or hand a slight bit, write in the journal. Walks a little farther today than he did yesterday, write it down. Then when it seems like he has 'hit a plateau', get out the journal and just read how he HAS been making progress when it didn't seem like it. As far as home modifications, ask around if any service groups or clubs would be willing to 'help' with the modifications. You might be surprised. If you attend a church, maybe the Men's Ministry group could help make modifications at your home, or might have resources of businesses that might be helpful. For medical equipment and supplies, there is a mailorder place in Farmingdale, New York called Maxiaids. They offer a large array of products for independent living, including bath stools and benches, urinals, 4-prong canes, bathroom safety rails ( all shapes, sizes, configurations). Their phone number is 1-800-522-6294 and the website is: www.MaxiAids.com. On the website, there is a linkfor ordering the catalog, plus you can also peruse through an online catalog if you so desire. I hope this infomation will be helpful to you and good luck with your brother. Denny

Jan: I want to thank you SO MUCH for 'highlighting' Donna in her Six-burgh regelia. I'm also A STEELERS fan, but the only thing I have IS a Terrible Towel. Oh well, maybe to get some other stuff this year, MAYBE !!! I agree with your analogy of the game. YES we are stroke survivers and YES we are in the game to survive. Like football players, our goal is to 'survive' despite the 'fumbles', 'penalities', 'set-backs', 'victories', or even just being in the game, trying to survive all the 'pitfalls' come as they may. For those that DID watch the game, it WAS exciting, down to the VERY LAST PLAY. EXTREMELY EXCITING!!!!! Just before the half, James Harrison intercepted in the Arizona Cardinal's endzone and returned the football 100 YARDS for a touchdown. Late in the fourth quarter, with like 35 seconds to go, Santonio Holmes scored a touchdown. Pennsylvania NOW has a new city -- Sixburgh, Pennsylvania. Steelers Fan Denny

Acceptance: Is a very powerful word Katrina and one that I am so glad you have discovered. Yes, you will not be like you were pre-stroke, but through time and patience, you may (key word) recover more. I am so excited for you concerning your attitude towards your studies and how you are overcoming your situation, to the point that you might be advancing yourself into the criminal justice system. and the chance to study abroad is really great news. I can relate to you about stressing with your school work. I've been there, done that. After my stroke, I went to culinary school and I really struggled with tests and things. We would have a test EVERY Friday, with review on Thursday. I would study so hard on Thursday that my wife and I would 'play' Jeopardy - she gave answer, I'd give the question. Friday morning for test, mind would go blank. But I would go thru test 4 times - first time questions I remembered, second for questions I was pretty sure of, third time for best answer and fourth time, would just pick the best answer. First two semesters, GPA of 4.0. Last two semesters, had a 3.95 and 3.94, which gave me a 3.87 GPA total for the course. Yes the 16 months WERE hard but I stuck to it knowing that I would be a better person for it. Trusting God to meet your needs is a very important matter. Yes, God does have a plan for your life and He IS in control of it. Keep up the positive attitude, the only person you need to please IS yourself. IF you are doing the best you can, to the best of your ability, you will overcome any situation that life will throw at you. Keep up the good work, the positive attitude and surround yourself with people who will build up your self-worth and will have a genuine spirit to help meet your needs, be it spiritual, emotional, physical, mental. Denny

Sue: I also wish I could be with you, in Real-Time, and give you a hug. I can feel your pain, frustration, 'brown-out'. Just to comment on Dementia, I used to work in an Assisted Living Home for Dementia patients. I was in the kitchen (imagine that). It takes a 'special person' to help these people. I remember several who were in the advanced stages - loss of memory, forgetfulness, bathroom forgetfulness. After three months, I really felt 'emotionally drained. And this WAS after my stroke. Sue, I believe in a previous blog, you had mentioned that eventually the day might come when it was a reality to place Ray in a nursing home. I believe that maybe that time may have arrived. I don't mean to be critical, but that might be a reality. Yes, I have been following your blogs, reading with interest the trials and good times you and Ray have had together. But I believe you also know that placing Ray in a home will be a good move, helping yourself to get back to a 'normal' routine. YES, it might be a hard decision to make, I feel for you, but you are mentioning how all the 'extra situations' are creating more stress on you and thereby making you depressed. PLEASE don't take me the wrong way, I'm NOT telling you what to do. But I am just concerned with your 'mental being' and just how everything tends to be 'wearing you thin'. Take care, and I'm sure you will make a right decision. Denny :friends: :friends: :friends: :friends:

Katrina: I can understand your anger and frustration. I've been there also. YES, my stroke was 10 years ago, YES I've been depressed. YES suicidal thoughts have entered my mind. But I've come to realize that I was my 'own worst enemy'. Let me explain. After my stroke, I was really depressed and confused. My family cared about me and people from church prayed for me and several people 'met me where I was', meaning that they offered to help me IF I needed assistance. Let me pause here and say that my stroke WAS mild. I only 'suffer' from complete weakness and complete numbness on ENTIRE left side. My left side extremities 'freeze-up' in the cold months. I also have poor sense of balance. Other stroke survivors, on here and ones I have met in person, ARE alot worse. Now to continue with blog. . . . Several on here have suggested talking to your pastor or people from the church. That is an excellant idea and one I would suggest. I'm sure that your pastor could suggest a woman from your church (IF you even attend church) who would more than be happy to help 'mentor' you with your struggles. This woman can help you understand scripture and how to apply it to your life, to get your thoughts back on track. YES, having a stroke is devestating, but I personally feel that OUR attitude WILL DETERMINE how we recover. This is only a suggestion of what I do each morning. I wake up, I do my morning devotions, and while I am praying, I WILL thank God for my stroke, and how He is using me to help other survivors of strokes to cope. Right now, there are four people, in my church, who have had strokes. Also, having had open heart surgery, I can also 'come alongside' those survivors as well. I've been 'through the fire' and I asking God to 'show' me compassion towards others who have/are facing the same trials. And yes, I AM reaching out to others, because of my experiences. I also have to realize that I can't 'fix' their circumstances, but I can certainly 'walk alongside' them and I CAN pray for them. I realize this reply IS long, I apologize. I'm just trying to say that DON'T GIVE UP. God knows your heart. And, believe it or not, God already knows the outcome of your circumstances. You say that God is not listening. I will say that you are wrong. Open your Bible and read Psalm 139. If I understand verse 16 right, God 'knew' you even before you were born. In fact, He knew you even before the universe WAS created. Katrina, I know this response is lengthy and somewhat religious. That's okay. I am only trying to help you through the struggles you are facing. And, might I make another suggestion -- each morning you wake up, write down one POSITIVE thing in your life. Then, when you get 'down again', you can look at the list and see all the positive things in your life. I do pray that this has been a help to you. I WILL definitely add your name to my Prayer List and I WILL pray for you. As others have also stated, PLEASE feel free to PM any of us. We are here for each other. Please take advantage of the help waiting for you. Denny

Hi Jean: I read Cooper's blog, and I believe the Funeral Director made a mistake on the obituary. According to the obituary, Cooper was almost 216 years old. (That IS human years). In other words, Cooper IS still alive, because the obituary has Cooper entering the Rainbow Bridge on April 24, 2208. That IS 200 years from now. Denny

Hello: What Jean said is right. I'm a member of my local Election Board, as a Majority Inspection for my voting precient. All you need to do is to call your local election board, give them your name and ask for an Absentee Ballot. Once the Election Board determines that you are eligible to vote, they will send you an absentee ballots, with complete instructions how to fill it out and the date it MUST be returned by. Also, some states and/or local preceints might have 'curb-side voting' for disabled/handicapped people. Pennsylvania DOES NOT due to the problem of secretcy in voting. Denny

Hello: I apologize that I have not been a 'frequent-viewer' of the blogs. Things have been hectic around here. Adult kids are either moving in/moving out/trying to get own apartment/asking for finances to help with bills (I am just 'treading water' paying my own), getting involved with a Men's Ministry at my Church, and other things. I'm also trying to raise donations for our local American Heart Walk in October while also trying to 'recruit' people to walk with my team. Healthwise, I'm very pleased with my open-heart surgery, last November. THANKS for ALL your prayers and concerns. My goal IS to walk the entire 5 mile Heart Walk course, but it might take me ALL morning. Well, I need to start dinner, so I will talk later. Have a GREAT Labor Day Weekend. Denny

Ross: I also want to offer my condolences. I'm the Friday night chat host, and she would stop in occasionally and 'offer' great advise. As others have said, she WAS an inspiration and Diane WILL BE surely missed. Denny

Yes, things are fine. Just need to use a few suppositories for awhile. Denny

Hi All: I was in hospital a few days, and I 'forgot' to post it. SORRY !! Denny Cheddar Apple Breakfast Lasagna Chef Dennis Jeffries Servings: 6. 1 cup Sour cream 1/3 cup Brown sugar 2 packages 9-ounce frozen French toast (12 slices)

Hi Shirlkey: Yes, I can 'relate' to your fears of going from a quad-cane to a 'one-legged' supporter. I also went the 'stroke recovery assistance' walking program - walker, quad and single-leg cane. I also had the fear of changing from one to the other. The therapist said "YOU are the one who has to make the decision. YOU are the one who 'decides' what you want to use, to continue walking". After my stroke, when I was in rehab, the therapist had me walking with a walker, but soon decided that a quad cane would be better. As he was watching me walk, he said that I keep 'rocking' my foot, but I said that I wasn't. It turns out that the sneakers I were wearing, had an 'air support system' that included a 'raised' area on the bottom of each sole. Changed sneakers, switched to a 'single-legged' cane very quickly. I still use a cane, even 8 11/12 years later. My balance IS SHOT and I am VERY FEARFUL when I am in crowds or around little kids. Even shopping brings fear upon me. People will be shopping in a store, and 'failing to use their stop lights', will STOP right in front of me, which, on several occasions, has caused 'rear-end collisions' Or kids, in their scurrying around', will run 'dangerously' close to me. My suggestion would be to get a notebook, and keep a journal of the activities you do between now and your next therapy session, including your emotions. When they are written down, you can go back and reflect on just how far you HAVE come, and it might also show you how your fears were 'controlled'. Yes, cappuccino IS being served tonight, yes the refills ARE endless. Keep your chin up, practice walking with the 'single-legged' cane and build up your confidence. As I once heard "I would rather try something and fail, than to fail for not trying". Denny :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

Donna: I'll lead. . . . I HAVE her home address. YES Asha, I have the envelope right in front of me, that you sent the card when I was in hospital for heart surgery. Denny

Asha: Go easy on the 'flogging' with the wet noodle, it 'hurts' a little bit. Denny

Hello: Today, Saturday February 17 was a good day for me. Well, at least I think so. :Clap-Hands: A chef friend of mine asked me to shovel her sidewalk and steps. In fact when she came out of the door, she actually had to step up. I shoveled and chopped ice and snow for almost 3 hours, took only a Tea Break and a bathroom 'pit stop' ( dang tea ). I got home and I told my wife that I actually felt pretty good. YES, I know I shouldn't be shoveling and chopping snow, but hey, she's paying me $30.00. That will buy me 3 prescriptions at the drugstore. And yes, I do expect people on here, to 'flog me' with a wet noodle. Hopefully, I'm 'out of the dark, dreary, cobweb filled, rat-infested and damp dungeon, or at least for 1 or 2 days, the way people have been writting blogs. I check the blogs and it seems like every day, the person who was on the top of Page 1 IS NOW on Page 2. Denny :coffee: ( enjoying a nice cup of Hot Chocolate ) Everyone drank ALL my White Chocolate Caramel cappuccino last night during the Coffee Shop Chat

Hi Fred: Yes, I agree with you. I'm also one who likes to be ahead of schedule. I'm not as 'handicaped' as other stroke survivors, but it does take me longer to get ready, and still arrive at my destination. I like to arrive early so that I have time to sit and relax before my appointment / meeting / etc. I can't understand why people are in a hurry, while driving. They're at a red light, light turns green ZOOM>>>> off they go to the next light which is red so they have to wait. Makes NO sense. There is a saying in my 'neck of the woods': "The faster I go, the behinder I get". Doctor's offices, I hate. You arrive 10 minutes BEFORE your appointment, you wait 30 minutes, they call you back, take vital signs and say "the doctor WILL be in shortly". Yea right, wait another 30 minutes, or so, doctor comes in, spends 5 minutes, and YOU'RE DONE !! Think about it ?? Denny

Steve: I live in Lancaster. which is Lancaster County. Southern part of state, about 65 miles west of Philadelphia hostdenny

Sue and Ray: You are both in my prayers for a speedy recovery. Just know that when we are at our weakest point, God IS in complete control of the situation. YES, Sue, you do have a great burden on you but God asks us to 'cast all our cares' upon Him. I know the power of prayer, because I've seen it and felt it in my life. Both from all the friends on StrokeNet and the people at my church. I also understand the great stress that you are under, decisions that need to be made concerning Ray's constant care, decisions about a possible nursing home stay, among other things. When I get 'down in the dumps', I usually read my Bible. After reading, I do feel so much better. I will keep both of you in my prayers and if I may, I would like to add your name to my Sunday School's Prayer List. Thanks, keep your chin up, better days ARE just over the horizon. Denny :hug: