I believe the problem is that other people cannot even begin to comprehend what it is like to be a competent normal person, one day, then permanently disabled the next. They cannot identify with you what it is like to wake up in the morning and know that you will have to limp around the house doing the stuff you used to do easily and competently, but now doing poorly and slowly with difficulty. And they are embarrassed because they know that they cannot say anything that will make it better. No, "give it time" will improve the disability, no hard work makes it any better, it is permanent, which is the greatest fear of all humans.
Certainly both I, and they are happier when I have a "genuine" health concern, like a broken arm, a cold, whatever, they can then identify with me and offer sympathy, which makes them feel good, and makes me feel a little less of an outsider
And the worst thing is that they have no respect for a disabled (and therefore retarded) person, so they do not want to have anything to do with you, it is embarrassing to have to relate normally to a person who is retarded, since that then, could identify THEM as retarded also.
My feeling is that I no longer produce oxytocin (the trust hormone) and that is why people do not want to have anything to do with me. My partner is a very popular man, obviously producing a lot of oxytocin, and I have reached the stage wherein I do not wish to go out socially with him, because his presence overrides mine, people do not wish to converse with me, when he is around.
Unfortunately I NEED people interaction, because life is so empty and lonely, now, anyway, and that people do not want to have anything to do with me makes life that much more lonely because I no longer have the ability to get out there and join in.
I have strayed from what I was planning to say, I am afraid. To me, it is the lack of understanding (maybe they do not want to understand) which then leads to lack of respect, and my own lack of oxytocin which makes me socially repellant