lydiacevedo

I still have those days too. In fact, Saturday night, with no help from the weather, or anything/one else, I had one of those evenings. And just like you, I am a very spiritual person and believe that thre is still healing for me.

I guess, every now and then, we have to pay a little sadness for all of the happiness/positive energy we pull from inside, Heaven, and everywhere else, to be able to maintain that upbeat personality. Everything in balance.

The sad, frustrated, hurting times are the times I look to this board and the blogs for comfort and the ability to push through the sadness too. I always find it, especially with those survivors I have a bond. Know that you are one of them!

Feel better. We all have blue days. That's why we are all in my prayers.

hugs,

Lydi

Kellie,

I had a bad experience on Easter Sunday when I took Monster to church. We didn't stay for service and I haven't been to services since then because I'm still too emotional to deal with it.

IT's just the way things are for us.

Let yourself have time for it to sting less, then when you feel like you can handle having a talk with your brother-in-law, use one of the Sunday family dinners, and your mother or father-in-law as a mediator, to put everything on the table with him. If that doesn't work, then consider no longer attending the dinners.

You don't deserve to be baited by anyone like that, no matter what.

Love you,

Lydi

Oh I have tears of JOY!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing!!!! I am happier than I have words to know that this is something that brings you and Bruce joy and satisfaction. I hope and pray it continues to be a good experience for both of you.

Hugs to all!!!

Lydi

I believe in the potential of stem cells, but that research has a looooooooooooooong way to go before it can really benifit man kind.

I know that a lot of new stroke survivors are so heartbroken at the "death" of their old selves that they will grasp as any hope, whatsoever, of returning to the people they were before their stroke. So they throw in with the newest and "most promising" developments. It's understandable. They are scared, confused, sometimes helpless, and trying to make all of that go away.

Like you, I prefer to be a little more realistic. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Seems a little safer.

I am so happy that you and Bruce had a good time!!!

Ruth took William because of a suggestion I made and I'm so happy it gave you the idea to take Bruce!!!!!!

I was thrilled that my idea helped even 1 stroke-touched family. It is an even bigger blessing that it has now helped 2.

Thank you so much for telling all of us about your visit!!

"...of candle wax and sailing ships, of cabages and kings!" I think of that poem too when I sit down to write a blog and my mind goes everywhere.

Glad the 2 of you had a good evening at the dinner!! Hop you get some alone time in soon.

My mother and my sister were in the hospitala with me every day. We are a sarcastic bunch with a very dry sense of humor. The tow of them about fell out of their chairs when my sister made some remark and I tried, very ernestly, to blow a 1-sided raspberry at her. That was when they stoped being quite so afraid and started realizing that there was improvement.

I second Leese's statement! We wouldn't be half th places we are in our recovery if it weren't for all of th selfless hard work, positive energies (even when they think they don't bhave any left), love and support they give us every minute of every day!!!

Hugs Leese

I so understood exactly where you were and what was going on. I do the obsessive planning and whenever possible, bribe, cajole, threaten or beg one of the kids to go with me (they seem to take best to bribery, by the way ).

I've gotten past most of the crying for no reason at all thing, but I live withthe panic, the "leaking," frustration and all of that, still. Sam has a great way of dealing with me some times.

When we went to the Ren Fair, a couple of weekends ago, I had no idea which way we had been, were going, or where anything was. This is a place we go annually, for a decade, together and I am always the one who knows exactly where we are at any minute. I love Sam, but he is an adult with pretty pronounced ADD and has almost no directional skills. He drives by GPS.

Sam just took my arm and said, "well, we have a service dog with us. Let him lead the way!" SO we wandered around aimlessly and eventually located where we wanted to be.

We dealt with the mulch and uneven ground by taking our time and if I stumbled, he caught me and made a joke about my not being able to keep myself out of his arms. He's good like that.

I think weall have days whee no matter how hard we try, we end up feeling a little defeated by the world. Luckily, we all have each other to say "yeah, I've been there too. It's ok."

That seems to help the most.

Thanks, Ladies! It's comforting to know I am not the only one playing this game with their husbands.

"I think it would be easier on the both of us if I were a more passive person without control issues or if he didn't procrastinate or just did what I asked....lol.... none of thats gonna happen though."

--Leese, I am so familiar with that feeling it is almost scarey. God love him, there just seem to be times when he just doesn't seem to get it!

"So maybe give him list of chores need to be done in the house. "

--Asha, I'm going to try this. It used to work for the kids to have a list of the house chores, and who was responsible for them, hanging on the cold place in the kitchen. Maybe this can work for Sam and me too. Thanks for the idea!

" I do get what you mean about being a different person after a stroke;I mourn the "death" of the old me and don'tlike the NEW me ( how can I expect anyone else to like me if I don't like myself??) "

--Susan, honey, there are days and times I don't like "New Lydi" either. I miss "Old Lydi then." Over time, though, it is getting better and I am learning that the great thing about the "New Lydi," is that if I really don't like something that I do or don't do, I haven't been around long enough for that to be a well engrained pattern yet, so I set a recovery goal to change whatever it is I don't like and work on it. She is sstill "soft clay" and I have the chance to make a master piece out of her! That helps me get through the tougher times.

Thanks again, ladies, for your comments, support and stories. It helps me accept life as it is now and not be so frustrated with myself or Sam.

And people say miracles don't happen any more! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!

Sue, I don't think Monster would let me stop going out and about. I had a dizzy spell yesterday and decided not to go to the dog park. Monster took a play from the cats' book and staged "mad puppy hour," galloping, leaping and racing all over the house until we gave in and took him to the park.

As far as wanting to get out and about more, Monster is the one to give the credit. Since bringing him into the fold, I am far more motivated to be and become more active. He is a great motivator! You just can't say no or stay unhappy with that sweet little face or the tail that wags so hard his whole back end wiggles.

Sam really is a great guy and he is usually much more of a team player than he has been lately. The problem, as I see it, is that he went out with some of the guys, a couple of weeks ago, to a bar (no problem there, he's not much of a drinker), and had "a few cigarettes with his beer."

Once he starts smoking again, everything else goes out the window. He very quickly gets addicted to them again and suddenly that is what he wants to do most of the time, to the exclusion of all else. His attitude changes, he stops doing things in the house, and spends most of his time on the patio chain smoking.We've been through this before, but this is his first smoking binge since my stroke.

After Monday's trip to the doctor, he really started to see how smoking takes over just about every aspect of his life. He's now actively trying to stop on his own and made an appointment with our doctor to get medical help quitting once and for all.

I am so thrilled and happy that everything worked out so well with the dogs for you and WIlliam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so very happy that he had a good time and wants to go back again. I hope this turns out to be a really good thing for both you two and the dogs. I'm sure it will!!!!

Thank you, ladies, for all of your good wishes and support. I started writing my first draft last night. I will read it again today and work on it some more. Giving myself a week to writ it, hopefully, means I will find the right message and be able to deliver it in a way that I will ca comfortable. I'll let you all know how it goes after I've given it.

Thanks again for all of your support and encouragement!!

You know, I still have a hard time knowing what that big thing in my kitchen that keeps food from going bad is called. My husband and son went around the house with painter's tape and a marker and taped the names of everything in the house to them. Logan even taped "Dog" on the dog. He was being funny.

The point is, I need to learn to put the name with the object again, so that is what we are working on doing. I'm trying not to use the "work around" words like "cold place" any more because I don't want to compensate, I want to recover.

The app is great for helping people to compensate for language issues. And that is great. But I'm not happy with just compensating.

I think you might be on to something. I hit what looked like a plateau in my recovery, and even started to backslide a little bit.

It was while trying to figure out what I could do to assist myself with what looked like a "new normal" that we tried other assistance methods, like my rollator, and even my new friend and companion, Monster, my service dog. I thought I was just going to be able to "get by" with their help. Now, I am beginning to notice that people are telling me I look better, I'm moving better, I'm not having as many times where I lose my balance, etc.

So, maybe, when we hit a plateau, our brains are strengthening the new connections that they have made, and maybe, in order to make more new connections, we need to give our brains new and different challenges.

I wonder if anyone has done any studies on this?

Thanks for the insight and encouragement. I hope it helped your friend Kim too!

Maybe teh stroke took the drive out of him. Maybe he just has had a harder time accepting that this is what he needs to do. Or, maybe it is I who have not accepted that "this is what it is."

I push myself. But I've always been the typical type A, driven personality. I will say, the stroke took some of that out of me too. There are times when I just don't feel like pushing for something.

But then, my answer to the "you have to keep active to continue to progress" was Monster. He keeps me motivated. He needs to be walked, exercised, taken outside, loved, trained, groomed, fed, the list continues. Since he is my service dog, I accepted the responcibility of doing most of the care for him. It has made me feel needed again, which has made it much easier for me to keeping doing the things Monster needs me to do for him.

Maybe William feels like his is no longer vital, no longer meeded and no longer in control of anything. That was the hardest thing for me, the feeling that so much of life had been taken away from me. It must be worse for William, since he is much less mobile than I am.

It's something to think about. Maybe he needs a project to keep him motivated to keep working at it.

I hope that insight can help you both.

Fred, A dog is a lot of work that might weel betoo much for you to handle. The alternative is a cat. They are much lower maintenance than a dog - don't need to be walked, don't even need to go outside, and self cleaning litter boxes can be bought so that isn't a big hassle either.

Cats, if handled every day, can become very affectionate. For example, we have 1 cat that we call "co-dependent" because you cannot open the bedroom door without her running in, jumping up on the bed and insisting on giving you as much love as she wants you to give her.

If you are worried about pet allergies, just like there are dogs that are good for people with allergies, there are cats that are also good for people with allergies.

If allergies are not a problem, I suggest adopting a cat from a pet store or shelter. All of my cats have always been rescues.

Just an alternative you may not have thought about.

Glad to hear that surgery went so well!

Best wishes on rehab and life after it. Keeping you and Dan in my prayers!!!

-Lydi

I've been to 3 different performances of theirs. We love them! They are coming to Tampa right around our 3rd wedding anniversary. We plan on going again.

If anyone is ever in Florida, around the Orlando area (where Disney World is), they have a resident show in Downtown Disney. It is wonderful!!!!!!!!!

I also encourage anyone and everyone to go.

My doctor thinks that I may be experiencing a bit of this myself, especially because I have burning pain in my right arm and leg (the affected side). Try this link. It does a pretty good job of explaining what is going on and what can be done about it.

http://www.painclinic.org/nervepain-centralpoststrokepain.htm

Yes, I did take it into Walmart and I am able to fold it and put it in the car on my own. The one I have is an ultralight rolator made by Medline.

hydrotherapy has been used for all sorts of mediacl challenges and has shown great results for all of them. When I was dealing with a great deal of joint and muscle pain, linked to a lupus flare, the doctor had me in hydrotherapy 3 times a week. It made a reall difference. Without it, I don't think I would have gotten back up out of the wheelo chair I was in.

I'm so glad William is reaping the benifits of it too. Once the pool where we live is open for the season, I'll get back in it a few times a week myself. I really enjoy it.

OK, this is getting even weirder. I suffer from dismorphic syndrome too. Though mine started at an early age because by the time we were 8 years old, we were being told "fat dancers don't get parts" and having weigh-ins.

I've been through anorexia and bulimia as a teen ager. Weight gain has been something I struggled with before my stroke and is something that puts me into absolute panic attacks now. I sooooooo know what you are feeling.

Is there a therapist in your insurance network that you can see for this? Maybe start with one for general anxiety that is in network, then go to this other doctor after the law suit is settled?

At this point, I think some help is better than no help.

I'm here for you!