lydiacevedo

Thank you, everyone, for the advice and caution. Sam, my mom & dad, Sam's mom & dad, my sister, the kids and I have all been talking about what retirement would mean for me.

I don't expect to have the identy crisis because I always identified myself as an artist first, a DB admin second. With retirement, I will have plenty of time to put those artistic tools and talents to good use.

I have new stained glass tools and glass just waiting for me. I also have canvases begging to be filled with color and movement, as well as all kinds of fabric, threads, yarns, etc.

I think I have enough art projects to last me a while and I am really looking forward to the days when I can start a project and come back to it later, instead of getting hoim from work, the fitness center or a walk and being to tired to do anything.

Sam is very happy that I have so much to create art out of because he says I am my happiest when I am eyeballs deep into the creative process.

I'm starting to put together what retirement will mean for me and I am really starting to like the idea of not being a slave to a schedule any more.

When I was adancing, I used to get cortisone shots in my knees every other week. It worked on teh pain and swelling, made them go away.

That was more than 20 years ago. I don't understand why they are calling it a "new" treatment, when sprots doctors have been doing it for athletes and dancers for decades.

But, it works. I was feeling relief before I left the doctor's office after every injection.

I hope you get as much relief out of it as I did!

Yes, this is scary. I know how you feel. I left an abusive husband, went back to school and worked full time, from being a stay-at-home mom. A lot of the time, I think Garion (my oldest) got the short end of that deal too. I also look at friends who lived their lives differently and think that if I had lived my life the way they did, I'd be "further along that road" too. BUt then I think I also might have had my stroke sooner, and I might not have the 3 kids that I do. OK, I'm not surrounded by the same material things that many of my friends are and I don't have money "to burn." BUT....I have Garion, Jalane (Laney) and Logan. Those are the greatest treasures in the world, and ones that cannot be taken away by a down-turned economy!

I'm not good at letting them go either. The phone rings and I jump because 2 of my 3 are living out of the house now. They will always be your babies, asa mine will always be my babies.

I'm so glad you were able to make it here to Florida! I'm also glad you made it home before this front moved in so you didn't have to deal with the thunderstorms.

My family deals with always being the ones who get stopped and checked every time we go somewhere too. I like to think of it as an "elite club of the most die-hard travelers!" Let's face it, we put up with all sorts of things and we still travel!

Glad you had a good time!!

We live in FLorida. I have a 17-year-old-son at home, the last of 3 kids. I can tell you that finding a job at that age does not happen here. Businesses don't want employees younger than 18, and now they can't even get their own health insurance until they are 19.

My oldest son lives with his father, but still comes to me for financial help some times, at age 21. I give it to him, every time I am able. Sam (his step-father) fusses sometimes. I tell him that I made my son. He is my blood and I will always help him out in whatever way my son needs, as long as I am at able to do so. When we conceived our kids, they didn't ask us to be born. That was our choice, so taking care of them doesn't end because they hit a certain age, or moved to a different place. They are still ours.

OH wow do I know how you feel. Between feeling like a landed whale, and being scared silly that I might have another stroke, Sam and I are facing the same situation. He, too, is wonderfully understand and supportive.

Everyone tells you that weightloss is "simple mathmatics," take in fewer calories than you use in a day. Yeah, I wish it was that easy. Some of teh medications I am on make losing weight very difficult too.

The weight does come off, but it does it at a glacial pace. All we can do is keep working at it. It will happen. Unfortunately, not like it did when we were in our 20's.

I feel you, Smittly. And I'm here when you need a shoulder!

I remember when the kids got to the point where they were taller than I am. I'm the shortest one in the family at 5' 2". The boys used to think it was funny to put an arm up on my head and lean on me. Monsters!

Family is great and had I to do it all over again, I would have stayed home while they were younger. Now that they are almost grown up, I'm happy I have a job to go to. It would probably be easier for me if I had a mindset where I could stay home, and sometimes I think about it, but for right now, I need the 5-6 hours I spend 5 days a week outside of my own 4 walls.

Families and, especially, children are some of the greatest things Heaven can give us. Enjoy yours!

I get the nose bleeds too. According to Dr. Mike, they are stress related.

Capilaries lay very close to the surface in the nose and sinus cavities. Even a slight raise in blood pressure can cause them to bleed.

Since we are pretty much all on blood thinners and medications to prevent our platelets from sticking together and forming clots, the nose bleeds can go on all day.

If they are very bad, filling more than 1 tissue in a short period of time, you should see your doctor or go to the er.

Otherwise, I have found that if I dip a Q-tip into ice water and put that in the area of the bleeding, touching the walls of my nose, it helps to get it to stop.

That is, basically, the path of stroke care, at least here in FLorida, but I would think country wide. The problems don't really start for us until time to leave the acute-care hospital to either home or a rehabilitative hospital.

What we end up facing is the "guidelines of the insurance company." Different insurers have different services that they cover, at different rates.

Survivors/caregivers and families are, often times, thrown into an almost unsurmountable financial debt, trying to get the best possible rehabilitative care.

Our imediate care is great at saving lives. Unfortuantely, out follow-up and continued care often falls short.

There is so much of my artwork hanging in my daughter's house, my parents' house and my in-laws' house, that it is a constant reminder of me as an artist. Lately, it's been nagging at me "when are you going to create again?"

I'm not expecting to be exactly the artist I was pre-stroke. I'm just hoping I haven't completely lost my talent. It doesn't look like I have, so far.

I'm kind of excited to see where I take myself now.

I don't know the words for things either. Other things I call something entirely different. My family just asks me "what does it do?" After I explain teh purpose or action of a thing, they "ok" and move on, if I called it the wrong thing, or tell me what it is if I don't have a word.

I'm only 2 months post-stroke, so I'm still learning what has changed and what has not, too. While your family tries to ignore your stroke, my family is scared to death that at any minute I am going to have another one and die. I hope that, eventually, everyone comes to a middle point of understanding.

I use my blog to vent when things are less than I want them t obe, celebrate when things are good, help myself remember because my short-term memory can be a little flakey, and keep up to date on what other people in "strokeworld" are up to. Sometimes, reading other people's blogs gives me hope and determination.

Keep blogging. We're all here to help eachother.

FLorida warmth is right! We've been expecting days in the upper 70's to low 80's all week and the weekend doesn't look too much different. A small chance for rain on Sunday, but they say we should have nice weather for your trip.

Welcome to the "Sunshine State!"

I feel so much the same way that you do. I lost my identity and am trying to find the post-stroke me too. I deal with co-workers who run the gambit from wonderfully supportive to down right ignorant and hurtful. AND, I blog asa a way to deal with my feelings and my life post-stroke.

Welcome to Stroke Net, welcome to the blogs and please know that we are all here to help and support each other!

In your case you don't lose a daughter, you gain a son too! Just hope they stay together and give you grand kids then you'll have your hands full. By that time you can spoil them rotten and you'll be in better physical shape by that time too!

 

Sounds like you haven't fully accepted the stroke yet cause you will not be "normal" but with time you can do certain things better than you can on this day. Each day brings more things you can do yourself.

 

I'm 7 years recovering and many things I still can not do but I get by. Hey, that is better than not surviving.

 

Lydia, you gotta give you credit for what you can do and being normal, YOU ARE NOW, just some things are a bit harder to accomplish on one side only.

 

I still drive, walk, eat, sleep, laugh but my weak side is slow, not me!

I haven't accepted it yet. I fight with that every day.

Accepting that I have had a stroke and cannot be the person I was pre-stroke has not been easy for me. Grief is something the women of my family do a little odd. We don't do the bargaining part, probably because we don't typically bargain in every day life. We hold on to anger and frustration and wear them like armor. Acceptance only comes when we finally realize that we have beaten ourselves bloody and dizzy banging against the truth of a situation. We don't accept as much as we surrender, which starts its own mini anger cycle until we can find the "loophole" that lets us trick ourselves into believing that we actually won and didn't ever actually give in. Ok, it'm not the healthiest way to handle things. We are who we are. I'm trying to change because I don't see where I have another option. I'm tired of being angry, hurt and defeated.

That's why I post here. I need help taking the first step - accepting myself. And I'm very grateful for all of the well wishes, understanding and advice I find here. It is making a difference. I can blog about it or post on the forums. I can deal with my frustrations and that makes every day a little easier.

Lydia:

 

welcome to wonderful world of blogging. Lydia As I had told you earlier I struggled with same question for long time, but have realized over the time, I am playing all those roles & that does not define me as a person. As I told you before please read new earth book by eckhart tolle it will give you lot of comfort. I just now believe I survived my stroke for a reason and at this time it is to be wife & mother. I have to do my duties as mother & wife as best I can do & I am sure God will take care of results. yes I worry what will happen when & if they both won't need me, but I believe I have to do my duties, my karma & God will take care of rest. just flow with life & do your best & don't worry about results.Lydia as a humanbeing we all wear lot of titles in our lifetime, but that's not who we are, our ego likes to attach ourselves to all this titles. you are lot more than wife, mother,or administrator. you are friend to many & loved by many even when those rolesgoes from hands on to hands off role. As a parent we all have done our job well, if our children are all able to fly on their own

 

 

 

Asha

I'm going to see if I can pick up that book on audio. Reading still gives me some problems from time to time. Thanks.