lydiacevedo

:::WARNING:::: Lydi is on a rant! Read at your own risk ::::WARNING::: ... Friday evening, Sam and I both got home about 5:30 pm. Me because I had to wait an extra hour for a ride. Sam because he doesn't get done with patients until 5:00 pm on Fridays. We met at home and suddenly, the world went wonky! The dog needed to go out. Usually we let him into the yard on his own, but Friday evening, Sam didn't lock the gate and Monster chose to take himself for a walk. I, of course, have to deal with getting him back in the yard and getting the gate locked. While I am doing that, Sam sits down outside with a cigarette and announces to me that "my dog" has made a mess in the den. Thinking the worst, I go into to clean that up. He had only scattered things off of the coffee table and one of the lower shelves in the book case, then decided to "ingest some leterature." So I start to put everything back and pick up the pieces of torn and chewwed book. Of course, Mommy went inside, so Monster followed and was making a nusance of himsself while I was trying to pick everything up, so I called for Sam to come get him. I had managed to pick things up before Sam managed to walk into the den to take the dog. Big help to me there. (heavy sarcasm).He has the pelotas to wonder why I am frustrated at this point and made a remark to him. I don't go into it right away. Once the mess is put right, I attempt to take a few minuites for myself in the "throne room." Yeah, even that doesn't happen uninterrupted. Sam is fussing that the animals need food and water and I need to come handle it because I complain that he over feeds them. He does. He just pours food from the bags instead of measuring out the proper amounts of food. That's why the cats are a little over weight! I yell back letting him know where I am and ask him to go ahead and handle it, the scoop is on the counter. When I am back in the living/dining room, I notice that 3 cats and a dog are still looking, expectantly, at their food bowls, and Sam has gone bgack outside to chain smoke while he reads a fantasy novel - one he has read about a hundred times, I might add! As I am finishing up feeding and watering the animals, Sam come inside and tells me that I need to take care of the dishes in the sink and wants to know A) what is for dinner and B) when it will beready. That was enough. I shot back a snide remark about him being perfectly capable of washing a dish or two and not caring what he chose to do about dinner, I was to tired to bother eating anyhow, and to stop throwing everything over the fence to me since he is perfectly healthy and works less hours than I do, so should be helping out more in the house. He blinks at me, says "ok," and back outside to light up again! I gave myself about 10 minutes to calm down, then went out to talk to Sam. I calmly appologized for snapping, then outlined the events that had taken place since we both got home, finishing up by reminding him that trash and cat boxes still need to be done and asking him if he sees anything wrong with the picture I have painted him. He is silent and fidgets. A ha! The light has dawned and he is beginning to see that he has been a classic JERK sionce he came home. He says he is sorry for behaving like a jerk (yes, he called himslef that), expecting me to take care of everything in the house and explains that he is just tired. I welcome him to my world. That jabs again because he knows he can't corner the market on tired. It's only been 4 months since I stroked and I'm still healing. I ask him what he intends to do to make up for being a jerk. He says he will handle the cat boxes, trash and the dishes, if I will just figure out something for dinner. I thank him and the rest of evening goes smoothly. Saturday morning, I wake up about 8:30 am, wghich is typical. I grew up on a working farm in Ohio and Saturday mornings meant chicken coops and horse stalls to clean. I'm used to getting up early, even on weekends. I let the dog into the yard, take my medications, feed Monster and the cats, then settle down on the sofa with Cally on hte back of the couch, stretched out behind me, Oni on the arm next to me and Monster taking up the rest of the sofa, with his head in my lap, as I catch the latest airing of Dog Whisperer, that I recorded the night before. 10:00 am I decide I want to make a big weekend breakfast of eggs, bacon, and all the rest, so I go into the kitchen to start cooking. 10:30 and the the eggs are the only things left to cook, so I go in to wake up Sam. He teaches a Tai Chi class on Saturdays at 1:00, so getting him up at 10:30 gives him time to have breakfast and putter around a little bit before he has to leave. Monster was all too happy help me wake Daddy up by jumping on the bed and licking his ear. Sam fusses about being awakened, especially by dog slobber in his ear and wants to know why I can't just let him sleep in. I brightly tell him that it is 10:30 am and I am making breakfast, then go back to the kitchen.As I am working on his eggs, Sam hollers for me to come get the **beep** dog. I call back that Ican't because I am a little busy. A few minutes later, Sam angrily emerges from the bedroom and into the kitchen. As he opens his mouth to gripe, I cheerily greet him with a fresh plate og eggs, bacon, toast and grits, letting him know that, yes, I did use the bacon fat to scarmble his eggs and added cheese not only to that, but to his grits too. All he can say is "thank you" as he takes the plate and sits down on the sofa. Monster is all up in his business on the sofa and Sam is fussing and cursing about it. I remind him that humans eat at the dining table, that is why we have one, and it does not confuse the dog. By this time, I have made my plate and sitting down at the dining table, when Sam comes over and sits down, followed by Monster to plops himself down underneath at our feet and naps quietly. After breakfast and 2 cigarettes, Sam decides he needs 30 more minutes of nap time before heading to his class. He appologizes for being a jerk again this morning, especially since I went to all the trouble to make breakfast, and goes back to bed. I go into the bedroom at noon to wake Sam again, with Monster in tow. He should know, by now, that where ever I go, Monster follows, which means he is going to licked awake. It's only happened every morning since we got Monster. So I have little sympathy when he fusses about dog spit in his ear again. At 12:15, I have to wake Sam up again. This time I get griped at for my efforts, so I calmly and (mock) appologetically, explain that the time is now 12:20 and I am only trying to make sure he isn't late for his Tai Chi class. I get yet another appology as he untangles himself from Monster, gets out of bed and gets dressed. I go back to the kitchen to clean up from breakfast. As he is leaving, Sam asks me for money for a new pack of cigarettes, out of the house budget. He has nothing smaller than a $20 and doesn't want to break that because he knows he will end up spending it all on silly stuff. I tell him I am sorry, but I can't do that. My mani-pedi money doesn't come out of the house budget, so he is just going to have to exercise some self restraint after breaking his $20. If he has a hard time doing that, maybe he should consider giving up smoking. He is about to argue with me when I remind him he has to get going or will be late for Tai Chi and the teacher should never be the last person there. He isn't happy, but kisses me good bye and heads off Laney meets me at the house and we take Monster to the dog park. The afternoon is hot, there are not many dogs at the park to play with, and the ones that are there are a little too aggressive, meaning their doggie parents do not take the necessary time to train and socalize them properly. Laney and I decide to take Monster walking on the trails instead. 20 minutes later, we decide it is just too hot right now for the dog and decide to introduce him to the Mall instead. I have his service vest in the SUV. Laney calls her Dad to let him know we have chosen to change our location and ask if he wants to meet us there, which he says he will do. We meet Sam outside of JC Penny and we do a couple hours of shopping and wakling around in air conditioning. After the mall, we drop Laney off at her place and take Monster back to the dog park to run off some energy. About 7:30, we make it back to the house. Sam starts in again, fussing and expecting me to step and fetch, while he goes out to the patio to smoke, opening his third pack since Friday evening. I get dinner going and go out to the patio to talk to Samabout the division of labor in the house and the fact that it is not a fair and equitable one. I point out that, not only am I still working more hours a week than he is, even after being reduced to 30 hours a week, but I still do bill paying, the shopping, the cooking, the kitchen, the mopping, cleaning up the living and dining room, the laundry, the bathrooms, the bedroom AND take care of the animals, with the 1 exception of the cat boxes, on top of being the one who STROKED 4 MONTHS AGO!!! He grudgingly offers to take over cleaning up the dining and living rooms. I point out that he has ofered to take over teh ONE least time consuming and simplest chore on my list. Thanks, but no thanks. I need some REAL help from him and the only reason all of this falls on my plate is because if I leave it to him, NOTHING gets done. He tells me he doesn't want to talk about it right now. So I answer that I don't want to be the one doing everything in the house and exhausting myself to the point I end up having another stroke, but here we are! He shoots back that he helps withthe shopping, so what the **beep** do I expect? I explain that "helping" withthe shopping is confined to him driveing there and back, whining and fussing like a child for a whole bunch of things NOT on the list and wandering off to look at books, electronics or whatever while I DO THE HEAVY LIFTING, then he expects me to help him unload the groceries at home AND put everything away. I'd bebetter off doing the whole thing my myself! He doesn't help plan the meals or create the shopping list, in fact, when I ask what he wants for dinner, his stock answer is "food!" He says he is sorry, that he didn't realize he was behaving so badly and being such a ....while he is searching forthe words, I add them fo him, ..such a colossal *beep*! He bristles, but admits that, in light of my examples of his assistance with the grocery shopping, he really has been the south end of a north-going mule of late. I let him know that as long as he is willing to change the action, I will be happy to revisit the division of chores in teh house when we can both be less emotional about it, but he is NOT off the hook here and I not about to take any more poor behavior on his part. Sunday Sam has patients. He slept through his alarm and is down right surly when I wake him up. So I simply ask him if he knows what time it is. He realizes he is late and asks why I turned off his alarm. I let him know that I didn't. He slept through it. He curses and grumbles while getting dressed, then heads out the door. Monster and I tackle a load of dishes, then set in to rearranging the diningroom and taking all 3 leaves out of the table. With 2 kids out of the house now, 3 if you count Laney's fiance, Tom, we just don't need a table that seats 10 any more. That done, Monster investigates the yard while I settle down on the patio to read the Sunday news paper. That is becomeing our Sunday routine.Logan spent the night at his sister's house and wanders in about 10 minutes before Sam gets home, who grumbles about my having redone the dining room, but agrees that it is more open now and we really didn't need the big table any more. Abot 2:30 he emerges from the patio back into the house, reaking of sigarette smoke, and pouts, "well, I guess I'm not going to get to go to the Reneassance festival this year, since it is the last day and he has no one to go with." I remind him that Logan is home, the fair doesn't close until 6 pm, it's late enough in the day that the sun shouldn't be too strong for me, and it's pet friendly, so Monster can go with us and won't eat anything in the den that way. We all pile into my SUV, with it's "preferred parking, " meaning my disabled license plate, and head out. True to form, we get preferential parking. Thank you little blue wheely man on my plate, and we head to the entrance, courtesy of the 4 free tickets my sister has given us. Logan hangs back waiting for1 of his 2 best friends, Langston (the trio is Logan, Lance and Langston), who he called on the way there and invited since we had the extra ticket. Lance is already there with his family. Logan is off with the other 2 of the "3 musketeers," as we call them. Sam and I have agreed that this afternoon there is no agenda. We will take out time and wander around, watching the shows and maybe doing a little window shopping. Nothing pressing. This is going to be a relaxing afternoon. Monster entered "in vest," so that we did not have to bother with their "animal inspection," whatever that is. Service animals are given preferential treatment. He behaves beautifully, just like at the mall the day before. A coupkle of hours later, we remove his vest and let him enjoy the fair as a puppy. It's funny to watch the difference in his personality when in and out of vest. He really knows the difference! In vest, his head is up, he is calm but alert and looks to me for al of his signals. OUt of vest, nose is on the ground sniffing, every other animal and child is a potential meet and greet, any food that hits the ground is fair game, and he suddenly becomes a little hard of hearing when given a command, but not too bad. 4.5 months old and he already knows the difference! We encounter the Queen and her enterage. Monster, out of vest, forgets himself and jumps up on the Her Royal Highness! WOOPS! Luckily, Carolyn attends the same church we do in real life. Her Majesty pardons Monster immediately and fastens a pin to his collar, decreeing him "a Knight of the Realm, for his devoted service to his lord and lady, and his unending affection for his queen!" Not bad for a puppy, LOL!! Sir Monster sits for photo opportunities with Carolyn and her crew. It's so cute no one can help but laugh at the scene. Leave it Monster! That face can worm its way into anyone's heart! We stay through the "last hurah," then head home. Logan and the guysa will be home by cerfew. They are getting together with some other friends for dinner. Sir Monster is snow gray where he once was white. Sam and I are probably about 4 shades darker than normal from dirt too. Typical of a day there. We will be blowing dirt filled noses for the next several days. Sam decides that Monster cannot go to the office on Tuesday looking like that, and can't sleep in our bed that dirty either, so he will give him a bath. I tell him I'll help. We both strip down so that it doesn't matter how wet we get, and proceed to bathe Monster. We use a dog/cat/horse shanpoo that removes stains and brightens white coats. I like Monster to be white white when he is clean. He actually likes water and takes the bath well, even letting me scrub his muzzel.Monster towled damp, Sam and I "save water, shower with a friend." It takes less than 5 minutes for us to notice 2 white paws on the tub and a black nose poking at the shower curtain liner, followed soon after by a head and shoulders, then a back and soon Monster is in the shower with us! We should have just bathed all 3 of us at one time! We let him play in the water, towl him off again, get ourselves dried, then take hte blow dryer to Monster to get him all the way dry before letting him into the yard again. He loves the blow dryer! We decide it is left over night as I have developed a "total head" headache and tuck myself into bed. Monster follows. Monday I wake up and the headache is still there, so I call out for the day. Then I make an apointment with teh doctor for that afternoon. By 1:00, my whole head feels like it is trying to explode and I can't hold food down because of the pain, so I call Sam. He calls out forthe rest of the afternoon and takes me to my doctor's appointment at 3:30. Logan is home from school by the time we leave, so we leave Monster with him. I'm just in too much pain. At the soctor's office, my bp and heart rate are textbook normal. Dr. Mike concludes that I have just exhausted myself and may also be a little dehydrated. He tells Sam that I still need to be careful about doing too much, which is why he has limited my work hours. Sam knows the real reason I have exhausted myself, but says nothing about it. He agrees to make me "take it easy" at home. Dr. Mike gives me a shot of demeral to take down the pain, and a prescription for percocet. His recommendation is that I rest and sleep as much as possible forthe rest of the day, and that I stop trying to do too much. I'm only going to set back my recovery if I keep up too fast a pace. I silently let that sink into Sam's head. After 20 more minutes of observation, Dr. Mike tells Sam he can go ahead and take me home. On the way to the car, the demerol really kicks in and my right leg completely gives up on me! Sam sits me down on the bench of my rollator and wheels me to the car. Once hom, I spend the rest of the evening napping on the double chase lounge in the living room, Monster stretched out beside me. We skipped the dog park and Sam took care of feeding both animals and humans, then tucked me into actual bed with my furry companion at about 8:30. It totally sucks that it took a headache scare and a trip to the doctor to remind Sam that I am not the woman I once was, but at least it drove the point home to him. Tuesday morning he was very contrite about his behavior. I let him know that this is typical of how he behaves when he takes up cigarettes again. I head off to the office with Monster and he heads off to his patients. Tuesday night, we meet up after work and take Monster to the dog park. There is 1 pet owner there with a pit bull who is a young male, about 19 years old. He thinks he is cool because he has a pit bull. He is anything but. He doesn't know the first thing about being the pet parent of a "thinking breed," doesn't properly have the dog trained, has not asserted himself as the dog's pack leader and is less than forthwright on disciplaining the animal. The dog is, becaue of the lacksidasical ownership, agressive. It jumped poor little Monster the minute we entered the park. Sam and I separated teh dogs before it hurt Monster, Sam dregging off the attacker, me grabbing Monster. Poor little guy was so scared. As Sam is sdragging off the other pit, the kid comes up as if to challenge Sam for touching his dog. Sam, who is 5'8" and built like a linbacker, with an Irish temper, is the first one to confront the kid about his animal. He tells the kid to leash his **beep** dog and keep it from attacking. The other pet parents let this kid know that this is a family dog park and if he can't control his animal, he will have to leave. The park is especially full Tuesday night, with about 20 dogs and their parents. There is definitely enough peer pressure to make the kid back down if need be. He says something about all of us just not liking lits. Sam tells him to shut the **beep** up and take a good look around. Of the 20 dogs there, more than half are pit bulls or pit mixes, including ouor dog! The rest are German Shepards or shepard mixes. The kid drags his dog off to a picnic table and grumbles at his girlfriend, who is obviously having none of his crap and letting him know that he is in the wrong. After his dog snapping, on the lead, at 2 more dogs that get close to it while the pack is running around and playing, the majority of us pet parents let the kid know it is time for him to take his animal home. We also suggest that he invest in obendience training for the dog and himself before coming back to this park. Considering most of the guys there are in their 30's and 40's, and from all walks of life, they can be pretty convincing in their advice. He takes the dog and leaves, his girlfriend appologizes to me and Sam personally for the behavior of both the dog and her boyfriend and is giving him an earfull as they leave. The rest of the evening, all the dogs play in a pack together without another incident. Monster calms down and heads into the thick of it, as is his usual manner. As is typical, we "closed the park" at 8:30 and headed home. Sam helped me measure food into food bowls and gave every one fresh water. We grilled sweet Italian sausages for dinner and had them with peppers and onions, on hoagie rolls. Sam asked me what I thought about a hypnotism. I told him I really didn't know much about it and asked why. He said he was considering it to quit smoking. So I gave my typical advice, do some research and if it feels right, go for it. He said he realized he was really being nasty lately and promised he would be better. I kissed him and told him I love him. Then he promised that we would sit down this week and work out a much more fair division of the chores. We leeft it at that. No need rubbing salt into a wound. We went to bed by midnight. This morning, when the alarm went off and I woke Sam up, he wasn't grumpy, surly or fussy. He thanked me. I did have to wake him up again about 15 minutes later, but I plan for that and have the alarm set early. He got right up the second time, before Monster could get his ear, played with the dog, who had already been fed and taken out for the morning. I finished getting ready and was leaving while Sam was making coffee. He and Monster walked me to the gate and Sam kissed me good bye. I asked him to remember to lock the gate and the back door. He said I would and asked if I could check in on Monster at lunch. I said I would and headed off to work. Maybe Sam just needed a reminder of what our life is now. I hope he had his eyes opened a little bit and will really work on his behavior....maybe even quit smoking for good this time.

::sigh:: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. I'm trying not to jump at people today, but it is difficult. I'm frustrated. I know I had a stroke. I get that. I know I'm not able to do all of the things I once could. I'm ok with that. I'm not ok with the pressure being put on me to perform by everyone else. Old Lydi could read 1 thing, type another and listen to a third, never getting lost or mixing up what she was doing. New Lydi can only listen or type or read, just 1 at a time or she gets completely lost and doesn't understand what she was hearing/typing/reading. Old Lydi didn't have a problem when her firneds and family finished her sentences for her. If they weren't going in the same direction, she just corrected them and moved on. New Lydi gets lost and can't remember what she was trying to say, so she starts to stutter. Old Lydi looked at things she didn't understand right away as a challenge and tore into them, devouring every little bit of information until she not only got it, but had more than just a passing understanding. New Lydi looks at things she cannot understand and sometimes it feels like she is beating her head against a wall. Those are the things she is just not going to get. Those are the things she will find other ways of dealing with so that they no longer exist in her reality. Old Lydi could remember what needed to be done on any given day at any given time for herself, her husband, 3 children, various and sundry cats, her parents and her in-laws. She didn't need notes or reminders. New Lydi has to write herself a not to remember anything and as soon as she is not looking at the note, she forgets she ever wrote it. Old Lydi never left her keys in the car or leeft the stove/oven on all night. New Lydi has Sam now going behind her making sure her keys, security badge, cell phone and wallet are in her purse and that the stove/oven and all other kitchen machines are turned off before he goes to bed every night. Old Lydi knew the birthdays, social security numbers and phone numbers of her kids, Sam, parents, in-laws and herself. New Lydi can't tell you what her own cell phone number is and can't always remember her own birthday. Old Lydi never forgot a face or a voice and could point people out years after meeting them, when even close friends had started to forget what they looked like. New Lydi can't always tell her oldest son from her youngest son any more and has no idea where she has seen "new people," like her boss, before, if she runs into them outside of the normal setting where she sees them. Old Lydi knew some of the most obscure grammar rules and very rarely used the wrong grammar. New Lydi gets her grammar wrong all of the time. Old Lydi could read a book in under half a day. New Lydi takes weeks to finish a book. Old Lydi could walk into a room, look around for a few minutes and return later to navigat it perfectly in the pitch dark. New Lydi bumps into things and knocks things over with the lights on, let alone in the dark. Old Lydi could navigate to any place on the face of the earth. New Lydi gets lost going from the office to her house. Old Lydi could "eyeball" guess teh size of anything to within half an inch. New Lydi can't tell 1 foot from 2 feet. Old Lydi could organize by alphebet/size/shape and purpose. New Lydi has trouble with the alphabet, let alone anything else. Old Lydi never missed a deadline. New Lydi can't make a deadline. Old Lydi could reproduce any recipe after tasting the finished product just once. New Lydi HAS to use a recipe or cookbook to make sure nothing is left out. Old Lydi could create a pattern, stitch then fit and finish a dress in 4 hours. New Lydi doesn't understand patters. Old Lydi could take part in 3 conversations at once and never miss a subject. New Lydi has a hard time keeping up in a single conversation. Old Lydi could walk into any situation and have what was going on figured out in about 5 minutes. New Lydi has no idea what is going on lonf after it is over. I get that I am New Lydi now. I'm learning to be ok with that. The problem isn't so much about my understanding the differences between Old and New Lydi. The problem is that Old and New Lydi look exactly the same, sound the same, work for the same company and have all of the same friends, but Old Lydi isn't there any more. People look at New Lydi and believe that she is Old Lydi, especially the longer New Lydi has been in the office/up and around, since the stroke. New Lydi can't make people believe she is not Old Lydi, or that Old Lydi is not coming back. But everyone expects New Lydi to do everything that Old Lydi did, and do it just the same. She can't. And people don't believe her when she says she can't.

Our poor HR person heard that a LOT yesterday. "Did you know there is a dog in the office? Why is there a dog in the office? Did you know there was a dog in the break room? Did you know there is a DOG wandering around the office?" Apparently, Monster caused a little bit of a stir in the office yesterday. Though, most of the people that we spoke to were glad to see him and thought he was beautiful, sweet and very well behaved. Our HR person had to keep telling those who did not like the idea of Monster being in the office that he is a service dog and that means that legally, he is allowed anywhere in a public building that his handler is allowed. That means the rest rooms, the break room, the production floor, the conference and class rooms, the lobby, the fitness center, basically everywhere by the men's room and men's locker room, and then, only on the basis that his handler is a female. "But what about people who are allergic to dogs!?" "What about people who are allergic to perfume? If you sit near where the dog will be and you can prove that you have an allergy to dogs, we will move your desk as an accommodation to your allergies. However, legally, I cannot ask her not to bring her registered service dog into the office." "Well, what if I am not satisfied with that? WHat if I feel like having to work with a dog in the building makes this a hostile work place for me?" "What about the fact that if she cannot bring her service dog into the office, which she has the legal right to do, she can say she feels that she is being openly discriminated against and that her civil rights are being violated? If you do not like the place you work, you need to make the decission if it is worth continuing to work here becaue a disabled employee has a service dog and is bringing him to work with her. He is not a guard dog. He is a mobility assistance dog. He helps her with balance and walking." "Well why can't she just use a cane or her walker? Why does she need to have a dog help her?" "Why do you drive the kind of car that you drive, or eat the type of lunches and dinners that you eat? Why do you wear contacts instead of glasses? That's the same as asking her why she chooses to work with a service dog instead of relying on a walker. You can't decide what she should or should not do." "So, you are just going to let her bring an animal in here and let it wander all over the office and make God knows what type of mess?" "No, I am going to let her bring her service dog to the office with her and let her be responsible for where the dog goes or cleaning up after his messes, like a responsible animal handler. If she cannot control the dog, then I will ask her not to bring him back. I will tell you that she and I have gone over the expectations of her service dog and I have met him. I don't anticipate any problems from the dog." Monster was a perfect gentleman yesterday. He never barked, growled, sniffed, or anything else that he should not have done. The break room, lobby and outside of the building are designated "non-working" areas for him so that people who want to interact with him can. Anywhere there is carpeting in the office is considered a "work area" and he is not to be distracted or approached without my ok. Monster picked up on that pretty quickly. His tail started wagging and he started to wiggle when we walked into the break room yesterday. He played with Garion and Laney, my son and daughter, during their lunch breaks and he let me know when he had to go outside. Otherwise, I took him out any time I had a break. The rest of the time, he sat/laid/slept next to my desk or under it. He did snore, but that was the only sound out of him the whole time he was here. I had his favorite chew toy with us, in case he got bored, as well as some treats. There is a bowl in my cubicle for his water. He don't need to be fed while he is here because I feed him 2 times a day, in the morning before work, and at dinner time in the evening. I have arranged with the office that we will start out with just 2 days a week in the office and add more days as he gets bigger/goes through more training. That way people will get used to seeing him. So, Monster staid home this morning. I actually had people asking me where he was and looking disappointed when I told them that he was staying home today. I don't think there are a lot of people who were upset that Monster was here, they were just very vocal about their objections. They, too, will get used to him and will discover that he is a very calm, even tempered, well mannered service dog. I don't think he will have too many opponents for very long.

I am so thrilled and happy that everything worked out so well with the dogs for you and WIlliam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so very happy that he had a good time and wants to go back again. I hope this turns out to be a really good thing for both you two and the dogs. I'm sure it will!!!!

Thank you, ladies, for all of your good wishes and support. I started writing my first draft last night. I will read it again today and work on it some more. Giving myself a week to writ it, hopefully, means I will find the right message and be able to deliver it in a way that I will ca comfortable. I'll let you all know how it goes after I've given it. Thanks again for all of your support and encouragement!!

Saturday is Palm Sunday. That means that next week is Holy Week. With it brings church services every eveining leading up to Easter Sunday. Those services need ley readers and additional Eucharistic ministers. Well, I'm not up to administering the Eucharist again, yet, but I've volunteered to a reading for the Tenebrea service and a homily for the Good Friday service. I'm facing a couple of my language deficits head on. #1. I'll be speaking in front of a group of people. I'll have to deal with the studdering. #2. I'll have to deal with reading for the part in the Tenebrea, because I won't know which part I am reading until I get it, usually the evening before. #3. The homily. There is research involved, which means reading, and writing the homily, which means putting my thoughts together in a manner that is not the typical rambling I've become known for since the stroke. There is also being able to get the words out when I give the homily. It isn't scripted, and even if it were, it'd be only loosly scripted. So I am definitely challenging myself with this. At least I know that no matter how much a studder, or how often I have to stop to find the right word, or rediscover the thought I was trying to say, people will be patient with me. This is my church family. These are the people who came to see me, pretty much around the clock, while I was in hospital, ent me the blessed alter flowers on Sundays to brighten my spirits, visited me at home, call regularly to check up on me, brought over dinners for the first month that I was home, keep me on their prayer lists, stop to ask how I am doing every time they see me, and still send cards and notes of encouragement, especially if I miss two Sundays in a row. These are the kids in Sunday School/youth group and their parents, who can't wait for me to be back to teaching and have called personally to ask me if I will go to the canoing trip this Saturday. Without all of this outpouring of love and support, I wouldn't be doing this reading or the homily. I wouldn't be strongly contemplating going to teh outing on Saturday. I wouldn't be back in Worship Committee meetings or trying to get back to the Youth Ministry. I have appreciated and leaned on all of the love and support they have given me since December. I want to show them that I am making progress and I want to start getting back to the things I did for the church before the stroke. I wouldn't have pushed myself as much as I have if I didn't have my church family in my support corner every bit as much as I have had my family, friends, and Stroke Net family. I wouldn't even feel like I could try this without the love of everyone that they have shown me.

You know, I still have a hard time knowing what that big thing in my kitchen that keeps food from going bad is called. My husband and son went around the house with painter's tape and a marker and taped the names of everything in the house to them. Logan even taped "Dog" on the dog. He was being funny. The point is, I need to learn to put the name with the object again, so that is what we are working on doing. I'm trying not to use the "work around" words like "cold place" any more because I don't want to compensate, I want to recover. The app is great for helping people to compensate for language issues. And that is great. But I'm not happy with just compensating.

I think "when will the next one hit? How bad will it be?" are thoughts that run through the back of all of our minds. Like you, I had the damage of several old strokes that we didn't know I had, though my husband suspected were strokes and not seizures. Because my lupus has caused/is causing my blood vessles to shrivel up and harden, and I have a heart valve malformation with regurgitation and buildup, I can take Plavix for the rest of my life, but the next stroke is inevitable. I know this. Like Lupus, I can't strop it. I can't cure it. I refuse to let it rob me of my life. "One day at a time" is how I cope. I woke up yesterday and didn't have another stroke. I woke up this morning feeling good. I'm well on my way to another stroke-free day and I'll take those odds. It may end well, or it may end in a hospital ER again. I won't know until I get there or I thank God for 1 more day and go to sleep. Since I don't know if I will be struck by a bus while out walking Monster or not either, I'll live today the best I can and hope for tomorrow.

I think you might be on to something. I hit what looked like a plateau in my recovery, and even started to backslide a little bit. It was while trying to figure out what I could do to assist myself with what looked like a "new normal" that we tried other assistance methods, like my rollator, and even my new friend and companion, Monster, my service dog. I thought I was just going to be able to "get by" with their help. Now, I am beginning to notice that people are telling me I look better, I'm moving better, I'm not having as many times where I lose my balance, etc. So, maybe, when we hit a plateau, our brains are strengthening the new connections that they have made, and maybe, in order to make more new connections, we need to give our brains new and different challenges. I wonder if anyone has done any studies on this? Thanks for the insight and encouragement. I hope it helped your friend Kim too!

Last night was the annual HOPE Neamiaha (Sp?) Action Rally. That is a gathering where congregations across the county we live in, and across religious affiliations, gather to press our local and state civic leaders and representatives into action to benifit those in need, the young, the homeless, the sufferors of addiction, the poor, etc. Once can count on there being literally thousands of people in attendance at the annual rally. I attend every year. I also work on the HOPE committee at my church, so I am a little more than just frindge involved. So, this was going to be a big test of Monster's abilities to maintain his tasks while out in public. There were over 4,000 people in attendance at the Without Walls International Cathedral last night. It was a sea of humans, sights, sounds, smells, everything that would make it virtually impossible for a dog, especially a puppy of 4 months old, want to run everywhere and see everything. People were cheering, yelling, whisteling, clapping, standing, sitting, passing papers around, walking all over, hugging, laughing, talking and generally acting like a very large crowd of humans. I am VERY happy and proud to report that Monster performed his tasks with flying colors!!!!!!!!!! He never left my side, never pulled away, never did anything but follow his commands and sit/lay/sleep quietly at my feet. He loves children and when not working loves to play with the neighborhood kids. There were lots of kids off all ages that I'm sure he would have loved to play with running around last night. He didn't once try snif or join in, didn't bark or growl or do anything that a "normal puppy" might do in those circumstances! He was wonderful!!!!!!! There were 2 other handles with their service dogs in attendance last night too. All 3 of our companions were better behaved than some of the human children who were in attendance. I was very proud and pleased that Monster, in his brand new service vest, was a shining example of a service dog. It makes me even more proud when people ask what breed his is and I tell them that he is a Pit Bull mix! We are trying to give Pit Bulls a more positive face for the public. Not that doing that was my intention when I teamed up with Monster. I hadn't even thought about it. But to be able to prove that I can train a Pitty as a service dog just goes 1 step further in showing the world that the breed is not dangerous, it is the human or humans who breeds, owns and handles the dogs that is dangerous, just like with any other breed! But I digress. After the rally was over, Monster threaded me expertly through the crowd and out the main doors. I was so proud of him I think I was beaming. People did stop us to tell me that he was a beautiful dog and so well behaved. Monster simply sat down and waited for a signal from me that each conversation was over and we could be on our way again. Outside, there were people talking, catching up with eachother, etc. and children running and playing. I found a discreet place for Monster to relieve himself if he needed to do so, he didn't, then took his vest off of him and let him be "just a puppy" and get love and attention from all the people waiting to give it to him. Yes, when not on duty, my service companion is spoiled rotton! How else do you think we create and maintain the bond that makes him happy to serve me while on duty? It really IS all about how you treat the animal. I am so pleased with and proud of all the progress that Monster has made in hte 1.5 weeks the 2 of us has been a team! I have informed my office that I intend to have my service dog with me in the office. That has been sent to corporate HR and I intend to being Monster in starting either tomorrow or Thursday. He is simply exceeding, far and away, any expectations we had for his progress! I told Sam that God would put us together with teh right dog for my needs and our family. Every day I am with Monster, I am all the more certain that he is the dog God meant for me! We have grown to really love and be devoted to each other in a very short period of time.

Maybe teh stroke took the drive out of him. Maybe he just has had a harder time accepting that this is what he needs to do. Or, maybe it is I who have not accepted that "this is what it is." I push myself. But I've always been the typical type A, driven personality. I will say, the stroke took some of that out of me too. There are times when I just don't feel like pushing for something. But then, my answer to the "you have to keep active to continue to progress" was Monster. He keeps me motivated. He needs to be walked, exercised, taken outside, loved, trained, groomed, fed, the list continues. Since he is my service dog, I accepted the responcibility of doing most of the care for him. It has made me feel needed again, which has made it much easier for me to keeping doing the things Monster needs me to do for him. Maybe William feels like his is no longer vital, no longer meeded and no longer in control of anything. That was the hardest thing for me, the feeling that so much of life had been taken away from me. It must be worse for William, since he is much less mobile than I am. It's something to think about. Maybe he needs a project to keep him motivated to keep working at it. I hope that insight can help you both.

"Honey, don't get upsset. The dog got out of the house today." "WHAT!!!!!!!!!" "When I cam home, the back door was open and Monster was nowhere to be found. Logan swares that the back door was closed." "Oh God! Have you tried looking for him?" "Yes, baby, I've got him. He was playing with some of the kids in the complex. He's safe and we are going for a walk right now." "Oh thank God! You're sure nothing happened to him? He's really ok, right?" "Yes, baby, he's alright. He's fine. I just wanted to let you know that either Logan didn't close rthe back door, or Monster is one very smart dog." "Ok, well, I'm glad Monster is ok. Thank you for telling, but next time, can it wait til I get home? You scared the daylights outta me." "<chuckle> OK, honey, I'll wait til you get home next time. I love you." "I love you too. Bye babe" "Bye honey. See you in a couple of hours." 40 minutes later "I went for greatest husband in the world points." "You did? How did you do that?" "Well, not only did I take the trash out for Logan, I ran a load of dishes AND I gave Monster a bath!" "You did!?" "Yes, I did. He seemed to kind of like it. He liked my taking the blow dryer to him." ",laughing> Yeah, pitties like the blow dryer. Is he all nice and clean and smeling good now?" "Well, he was, but then I let him outside and he layed down in the dirt." "<laughing> Well, at least he was dry. The dirt will brush off of him. Garion and I are at my sister's house. We'll be home soon." "OK, see you in a little bit. I love you!" "I love you too! Bye" After I got home, we put Monster's harness on him and went to the wholesale club. Monster has learned that while he is in his harness, he is working. When the lead is just attached to his collar, he is "just a dog." I try to take him on 1 training outing a day. No sooner did we walk into the wholesale club when "Ma'am, is that a service dog?" "Yes he is, here's his id badge." "Oh, ok, thank you. Have a nice evening." Typical exchange. Sam asked if I wanted to share a soda and a hot pretzel. Off he went while I managed to manuver the shopping cart with my right hand, the rollator and Monster with my left. It really wasn't that difficult and I like knowing that I can do it all by myself if I have to. About 50 feet later, we're stopped by the store manager. "Is he working for you right now?" "Yes, he is. Here's his ID." I show the man Monster's registered service dog id with his photo on it. "Oh, ok, thanks. Is he working right now, or just a companion? Can he be petted?" "No, he's woorking right now. Thanks for asking." "Ok, I'll let my staff know. Have a good evening." Away he goes. We pick up some chicken breasts and some panko crusted talapia fillets. The butcher comes out to restock the pork and beef ribs. He drops a big slab of ribs right behind me, they are shrink wrapped in heavy plastic. Monster pushes them to toward the butcher with his nose and comes back to me right away. "Good boy!!!" I sat down on my rollator. "Paws." Monster puts his front paws in my lap and licks my nose. I give him some love and tell him "good boy some more." "What'd he do?" Sam wanders up with a large pepsi and 2 hot pretzels, 1 with salt and 1 without." Taking the one without salt, "he pushed a rack of ribs that fell on the floor back to the butcher so I dcouldn't trip on them." "That's a goo boy, Monster," Sam pats him on the side." "Ready to move on?" We pick up some frozen items and head over to the pet aisle. Monster is definitely interested in hte pet food, but he doesn't leave my side. In fact, while Sam and I discuss the pros and cons of 3 different brands, Monster lays down and decides to wash his paws. We finally agree on a dog food, then pick up a 3# bag of chicken jerky treats and move on. Other shoppers have been good about commenting on how cute Monster is, but not trying to pet him without asking and very respectful when we tell them he is working. Monster has been a very good boy the whole shopping trip. Finally, as we are waiting for our items to be checked against our receipt at the door, the young lady assigned to that dutie asks if he is working or not and can she pet him. I switched Monster's lead from his harness to his collar and told her, "now you can." Monster got a case of the wiggles. When he is done working, he wags his tail so hard his whole back end wiggles and he wants to nose people and be loved. The girl went nuts loving on Monster for a good 10 minutes. Just as well by me. He deserved it after being perfectly well behaved on his harness the whole time we were shopping. At home, he has his dinner. The cats have their dinner. We have our dinner. Then Sam, Monster and I curl up on the chase lounge and watch tv together, until Monster give me that look that says "I'm ready to go potty 1 more time, then go to bed." So we take him out and turn in. Saturday, Tim and Gretchen come over while Sam is teaching his tai chi class. This is the first time they've been to the house since Monster became part of the family. He and I are napping together on the chase when they get there, but he doesn't growl when walk into the house. Probably because I reacted by welcoming them. Monster thinks Gretchen is just wonderful and is soon up on the couch with her. Tim is good too, but Monster is a lady's dog. Sam comes home and tells us we need to rent a truck for about 2 hours and go pick up the entertainment center and book shelves from his cousin Christy. So we all get into my suv and head over to the uhaul. Monster happily sits between Gretchen and me in the back seat. The guys head off to bet the furniture and Gretchen, Monster and I head over to the grocery store to pick something for dinner. I have Monster's harness with me. Harness on, the 3 of walk into the store. No one asks a single thing, but a couple of mothers do tell their children not to try to pet the dog. He is working right now. We grab the necessary items to make a green salad with chicken, a small cheese cake sampler for desert, and head to check out. They always have hot, fresh bread from the bakery near the check outs. Gretchen grabs to still steamy loaves while Monster and I get into line. A few seconds later and the store assistant manager comes over and asks if the dog is working are people able to pet him. I reply that he is working. The assistant manager tells a lady who had asked him, I guess, that the dog is working. Then he asks me what his breed is, his age, how I got a service dog, etc. He seemed really interested to know. At that point, the store manager opens up a new lane at the registers and tells us that he can take us right away, so we don't have to wait. We pay for our items and head for the truck, then the short trip back to the house. Monster is enjoying the A/C in the back seat. The guys return with the furniture a couple of hours later and "the great living room furniture shuffle" begins! Monster chose to lay on the chase and stay out of the way of things. I said he was smart!! That over, we feed the animals, then make dinner for the humans, and finish the evening catching up on a Showtime series that we all watch and talking. Monster makes the rounds between the sofa and the chase, soaking up the love. Sunday, we are off to church for the first time. Monster is in harness and being beautifully bahaved. I'm always aware that he is only 4 months old and could forget himself while working, acting, instead, "like a dog." I'm always so proud of him when he does well. I let him be a dog and play on the play ground withthe kids in Sunday school during coffee hour. Monster loves children! Later that afternoon, after Sam gets home from patients, has a bit of down time and a snack, I tell him we need to get more training treats. So we all pile into the suv and head to the petsupermarket. Monster knows the place when we park and gets all wiggley. He's "just a dog" for the trip. Everyone knows him there already, and they are always happy to see him. We get him some treats and a couple of doggie tennis balls that don't squeak. He doesn't want to play "fetch" with the ones that do. Those he just wants to chew on. Then we take Monster for a surprise trip to the dog park. This is the first time Monster has been to a dog park. Since he is a large breed, we opted not to take him to the puppy area. All of the puppies there were way to small for Monster to play with without the danger of accidentally hurting them. We let him in with the "big dogs." There were about 8-10 other dogs in teh "big dog" area, ranging in size from a young golden retriever to an adult great dane. All these new noses curious about who Monster is. He was a little overwhelmed and decided to camp out under my rollator while he got used to the idea of all these new dogs. After about 10 minutes, he decided he wanted to be part of the pack to and came out. Pretty soon, he was racing around with teh other dogs, jumping, running and playing. He had a great time! All of the other dogs were well socialized and playful, without being agressive. There were a few other pitties or pitty-mixes. The other doggie parents were very welcoming and nice. It was fun to talk to new people about our dogs, sports, the news, just anything at all. They were curious about Monster being a service dog and why I used the rollator and Monster. We had a good conversation while the dogs ran around, asked everyone for love, and were just a "pack of dogs" for a few hours. Finally, Monster decided he was tired. Poor little guy's tongue was hanging out and he was panting, but he sure was smiling! We knew he wasn't thirsty. The park has water out for the dogs, and a fountain for them to drink out of, or play in. I asked Sam to remind me to leave a towel in the suv for drying Monster off next time. He was just one tired puppy! We loaded him up in the suv and started for home when Sam noticed there was an ice cream truck parked near by. He started the car and turned up the a/c full blast for Monster, then went and got 2 cherry italian ices for me and himself, and we drove home. While we were leaving, Ashley, the mommy of the great dane and another pitty, invited us to their Doggie Birthday Party in a couple of weeks. It will be at the dog park and a big bash for both humans and dogs with food for both, games, the works. We were very happy to accept. I felt like Sam and I had been on a date. It was such a really great afternoon. I thanked Sam for agreeing to go to the dog park and we decided to make it our "Sunday afternoon thing." Monster ate his dinner once we got home, and slept for the rest of the night! We had a pretty great weekend! We just have to remember to lock all the doors to keep Monster in the house! But, I think he is about ready to accompany me to the office, at least a couple of days out of the week at first.

If you lived in the house with me, this qestion would seem a no-brainer. But the vast majority of the world does not, so it comes as no surprise to me that people ask "why did you get/are you training a service dog?" I use a rollator and went back to work, so I must be to active to need a service dog, right? Wrong! There area wide range of tasks a srvice dog can provide a handler, such as; Guide for visually impared persons Hearing assistance for deaf/hard of hearing pesons Mobility assistance for wheel chair AND ambulatory persons Seizure recognition Diabetic alert Autism assistance Other Medical alert PTSD assistance the list goes on. Monster is already trained to help me avoid uneven surfaces and is working on removing objects from my path that might cause me to stumble. I was left with some visual imparement and balance imparement after my stoke. A misstep, a stumble,turning my head too quickly, a startle, or trying to bend over can send me sprawlng. Monster is trained to help me avoid situations where something like that might happen. He will also be trained to retrieve objects droped onto the floor. We chose a larger sized breed so that he could assist me with bracing and regaining balance once he reaches his full height. There are a long list of other tasks that a mobility assistance dog can be trained to do, from opening and closing doors to bringing the phone to a handler, helping to unload a dryer, and a lots more tasks. Service dogs can enrich the lives of anyone with a disabiliy. Like my rollator, service dogs seem to be somthing that not very many stroke survivors know can be a big help to them, so not very many survivors look into getting a service dog. I'd like to help make more of us aware of them and ways that they can help us. First of all: Just about any dog can be trained to be a service dog! Thee are no "unaccepable breeds," only dogs whose temperments might be a concern, but that is something unique to the dog, not the dog's breed. Second: You CAN train your own pet, or have your pet tained to be a servie dog. The waiting list from an organization can be years. You can have a trainer or a vet evaluate your dog for temperment and personality. If your dog meets the criteria, you can have your own dog trained. Thrid: Service task training is always specifically taylored to your individual needs. You or your trainer will create a training map for your animal, to include just the tasks that you need the dog's assistane to complete. It may be only 1 task, or it may be many. That is for you and/or you trainer to determine. Fourth: As long as your service dog performs 1 assistance task for you, the dog is considered a service dog and entitled to full public access under the Americans with Disablities Act of 1990 an the Departmnt of Justice. Fifth: Training can be done at a trainer's facility, or in your own home. Many trainers offer "private" lessons and can taylor training to fit your schedule. Training costs can vary and training maps can be widely different, so it pays to shop around for a trainer. There are more than just pysical benifits from owning a servie dog. Monster and I have only been a team since last Friday, but having him to train has given me more motivaton to become/remain active, helped ease my depression, made me feel safer when Sam and Logan are not home, and, in my case, helped me deal with some of the "empty nest" syndrome I have been going through with 2 of my 3 kids no longer at home. Monster has also had a positive effect on Sam and Logan. I am a big supporter of service dogs and I'd like to invite everyone to take a look into the ways a service dog can benifit you. It is easy to find all sorts of information on service dogs, their training, organizations (I advocate Service Dogs America), and teaming up with a wonderful companion and assistant care giver. All you need to do is run an internet search for "service dog!"

We took Monster with us to visit our friends on Saturday evening. They have a pit bull terrier and a worl hybrid. Both are very well trained and we felt they would be a good first test of how Monster reacts to other dogs. Freya, the pitty, is of an advanced age and doesn't do a lot of running. She can also be a bit of a bully to new animals. Monster handled their meeting well, making it known to her that he was not interested in taking her place in her pack. Talon, the worlf hybrid is younger, also very submissive, and loves to clown around. He and Monster chased each other all over the yard, happily playing until they were both worn out. As we were outside, around teh fire pit, we ended up with 3 dogs sleeping close to the warmth, a very successful evening for them. Sunday, we were on the way to Sam's cousin to pick up a bed for Garion. The suv started over heating so we stopped at Sam's parent's house to check the coolant levels. We ended up spending about an hour there. During that time, Monster met their Kerry Blue Terrier, Erin. Erin is another alpha dog. Monster is not and the 2 of them got along very well, playing with eachother in the house. Monday was Laney's birthday dinner, back at my in-laws' house. My parents, Sam's parents, Sam's sister, all 3 of my kids, Laney's fiancee, Sam & I were all there. And Monster, of course. He and Erin played, sniffed, layed under the table, ran the yard together, all without yip or snap one. Monster wore himself out again. While he would come when other people called him, sit and accept affection, he always came back to Logan, Sam or me, mostly me. Sam's mother told Sam, at one point in teh evening, that she was very glad that Monster made me the center of his attention. Tuesday, Monster's service id arrived. He had to put his mark on it by trying to chew it. Silly puppy! We took him with us to a local coffee house, the owners of which are long time friends of ours. Once again, Monster was very well behaved, very quiet, and everyone was amazed that a dog so young could be so calm and well mannered. He is learning to walk at my left side, with my rollator. When I walk with just the cane, he tends to try to walk directly in front of me. I have to keep telling him "left." With the rollator, his focus is different. He's still very much in the learning phase, but he is doing very well!! I haven't taken him into the office yet. I wanted to get him a little more aclamated to encountering strangers. He tends to growl a warning that I am his person. He has not snapped, and accepts new people giving him a pat on the back, once I tell him it is ok. But, I want to work with him a little more before bringing him into teh office. He is doing a wonderful job. Though he is a little bit of a brat when we first get him into the car. Monster very easily climbs into his seat in back. But if he is teh only one back there, he wants to climb into teh front seat and sit on my lap. Right now, while he is only 24 pounds, that isn't too much of a problem. As he gets bigger, I don't think there will be space enough, so we encourage him to go back to the back seat and stop being "rude." Garion came over yesterday to take the bed to his house. He spent quite a while with Monster, petting and playing. Monster loves the attention. He doesn't walk as well on the lead when it is more than just the 2 of us. Sam came with us yesterday evening. I think he was confused by Sam's being there. Sam tends to walk faster than I do, and was a little bit ahead of me. Monster kept trying to figure out if he was supposed to stay with me, or walk with Sam. He got furstrated and started pulling on the lead a little bit. I stopped that right away and asked Sam to make sure he does not walk ahead of me because it confuses teh dog. We were doing better, the 3 of us, by the time we were headed back home, but I think they both need a little training in that area. It will come in time. In time, the cats will also get used to having Monster in the house. Oni is already starting to sleep closer to him at night, on teh bed. They only the width of my foot apart last night. It's now only when Monster tries to get Oni to play that Oni hisses and slaps, but he isn't using his claws to slap Monster any more. Nicki is, at least, staying in the house more now. Cally has gotten to the touching noses stage, as long as Monster leaves her treats alone and doesn't try to get her to play. At 13, Cally doesn't play. It's progress. Today, I am at the office and Logan is at home with Monster. I really didn't want to just leave him alone withthe cats while I went in to work today. Logan ended up sleeping through his alarm, and since he has been at school working on the performance that open tomorrow until 11 or 12 at night, I gave him a day off to relax. It worked out well that Monster won't be alone today. I was a little worried about how he would react to not having me in teh house. Logan says that he seems to be doing ok. I'm glad about that.

We picked Monster up Friday evening after work, and took him strsight to Pet Supermarket, as planned. Food dishes, shampoo, toys, bed, etc. later, we brought him to his new home. The cats were less than pleasedd to see me come in with a dog on a lead, but they don't run the house, no matter what they think. Sam was trying hard to emain detached, so was Logan, in case Monster didn't work out. Monster didn't even give the cats the time of day, which confused them. There was some hissing and a few slaps, but no major confrontations. When slapped by the cats, Monster simply walked away. Everywhere I went, Monster followed. He walked well on the lead and already undersgtands come, stay, sit, up, dwn, left and no. Monster also seemed to steer me away from roots and other unlevel surfaces. I don't think he was trained, yet, to do that, but it will be a good trait to build on. He did not attempt to climb onto the furniture until I let him know he was allowed to do so. Now, he prefers the sofa to the floor, but I think that is because it meansa he is closer to me. He listens to Sam and Logan, but he has made it known that he and I are a team. I got tired and brought him into the bedroom. I let him up on the bed. If the cats can sleep there, so can Monster. Once on the bed, he became very relaxed and happy, quickly settling down with me while I watched a little tv from the bedroom. Sam came to bed some time later. It was ddark in hte bedroom and Monster didn't recognize Sam, s he growled at him, until Sam spoke to Monster. Then he wagged his tail and licked Sam. Today, I took Monster to our vet. I wanted him to get a good physical and be tested for worms. No matter how well kept an animal is, this is Florida. Theyare bound to get worms. I was right and he is being treated. We started him on an anti flea treatment and heart worm medications. Dr. Kim said that Monste has a very calm and well mannered temperment and thinkshe will be a very good service dog when he finishes his training. It's nice to know the vet feels that way. Lamey had gone with us to take her cats to the vet to get all of their shots, worming, etc. SHe was taking them back to her house for the first time. Her birthday is tomorrow and my gift to her was paying the pet fees and deposits for her to be able to have her cats in her own apartment. She had asked for roller blades, but decided that being able to snuggle with her cats was even better. After the vet, we dropped the cats off at Laney's place, where they promptly hid under her bed. They wre not happy with the exam, shots, worming, etc. This was also the very first time they were in Laney's place. Then we took Monster back to Pet Supermarket with us so that Laney could pick up the things that the cats will need. She also spoiled Monster with a set of tennis balls and an unstuffed toy fox. I had used the longer lead for Monster and not given him his "working commands" so he knew he was not expected to ignore things and people, which he took full advantage of at the pet store. Back home again, Momster was pretty tired. The vet said that would be normal after his treatments and as long as he doesn't show any signs of having a reaction to the medicines, not to worry about it. He's been napping on the sofa most of the time we've been home, with the exception of asking to go outside twice. Monster is also warming up more to Sam and Logan. He really likes Laney and has yet to meet Garion. But I think we are off to a really fantastic start and I am happy with Monster and looking forward to completing his training with him. On top of all of that, he really is a cutie!!

We met my dog last night. Not only is he good looking, he is well toned and defined, his hips are straight and even, his sight is keen and he is very attentive. His name is Monster. He knows his name and is comfortable with it. I am not going to try to change it. Monster is very intellegent, trains quickly, is eager to please, and for being yet a puppy, very calm around people. He is not at all aggressive, and not at all an "Alpha" personality. After 20 minutes, Monster allowed me to take him into my lap and even gave me little kisses on my nose. He has been raised in a house with other dogs and cats and does not really care about cats. As he is a puppy, if the cat runs from him, he will give chase, however, if the cat leaves him alone, he will do likewise. We'll need to train out the chasing, but that is a small thing, really. I am sure he will work out wonderfully and I cannot wait to bring him into his new home and introduce him to his new family. We are picking him up after work tonight. I've already arranged, with Garion, to make a run out at lunch time to get him some basics, then take him on a trip to the pet store, either later on tonight or on Saturday, to let him pick out a few things. It will teach us his preferences, reinforce car riding, and socialize him a little, before we really start in with his training. We think that by the time he is 18 months old, he will be ready for his certification exams. No, service dog certification is not legally required by the federal government, or by the state of Florida, for that matter, but I am having him certified any way. It takes the stress and guess work out of traveling with a service animal. Service animal laws are also changing. A therapy animal will no longer meet the ADA criteria as a service animal and will no longer be entitled to the same accesses under law. Having Monster certified as a service animal will ensure him and me that we cannot be refused entry. Really, I think it is the smartest course of action for us. We chose to adopt the dog, then have him trained as a service animal, because, believe it or not, that is the faster way to get a service animal. Going through an organization, the wait can be years. Training our own dag also allows us to very carefully define what his service tasks will be, in my case, mobility assistance. There are several good service task trainers in Florida, and especially in Tampa. Larra (my sister) is going to set us up with one who will do Monster's training in our home. The costs are reasonable at $10-$20 an hour. Sam said he does like the idea of my being home, especially if alone, with 60-80 pounds of devoted dog who will take care of me if anything happens. I asked him how he will like sharing our bed with the same 60-80 pounds of dog, plus our 2 cats. He said we need a bigger bed.

It is raining so hard I can't even see the cars 100 ft. away in the parking lot. Yuck!! This is day 3 of rain for us, and the worst of it so far. Welcome to "not January" in Florida! I'm a "sunshine girl." Cloudy weather depresses me after a couple of days. I'm starting to feel it today. My energy is sinking and I am getting a case of the you-know-what-its. Don't feel like working, eating, cooking, or doing much of anything. I'm just waiting for the electricity to go out in the office. Glad my computer is on a battery backup. The agent's computers are not. The one thing I am trying to use to pull myself out of this funk is the fact that I should have a furry new addition to the family some time soon. We have been looking for a young dog to raise and train as a mobility service dog for me. If everything goes well, we could have one by the end of the weekend. I'm really hoping we do. That is, of course, if the rain will let up enough for us to drive over to meet the candidate. Otherwise, it may take a little longer. WHenever we do bring my future constand companion in, as soon as he is adjusted to his new home and family, training begins. The lights are flickering in the office now. I expect, any minute, yep! The power just went out!!!

It's been a while since I've done that. The past few weeks, I've gotten home in the evening, or home from an afternoon walk, and tucked myself into bed, or dozed on the sofa, in front of the tv. Logan has not been home much the past few weeks, what with one performance run after another. He's been designing lighting, rigging lights and running them during the shows. By the time he gets hom, all he wants is a shower and his bed. Poor thing has been exhausted. So, Sam has been living on left overs and whatever he decides to make for himself.....all without 1 word of protest, frustration, or anything other than "it's ok, baby." Last night, we came home from work, and after about 20 minutes of "down time," I made myself get up and go into the kitchen to make dinner, while Sam took a much deserved rest in the bedroom, watching....whatever it was he was watching. Logan was actually home last night....YAY!!!! and was in the livingroom watching "The Hangover", so he and I chatted while I cooked. The dining area and livingroom are 1 big room. If you sit at the dining table, you can still watch tv, so Logan could talk to me over the passthrough, and still see his movie. It was nice having him home for a change. My tastes have definitely changed. The "boys" as I call them, loved the chicken breasts marinated in rosted garlic and white wine, with a little bit of seasonings. It smelled good to me while I was making it. But I didn't like the taste of it when it was done. I didn't eat much of it. I don't know what was "wrong" with it, per se, I just know it did not appeal to me at all. I contented myself withthe veggies and perogies I made to go along with it. It was nice to have a family dinner at the dining table again. It just didn't seem much like it was worth it when Logan wasn't home. He's alomst 18 and well on his way out of the house already. He and his best friend Lance are already working on getting everything together for their apartment! They want to move into the same complex that Laney and Tom are in, so they won't be far, they just won't be home any more. I guess it will be time for Sam and me to down size to a 2 bedroom place instead of 3. I may go ahead and give hte big dining table and chairs to Laney, and go ahead and get just a small dinette set for me and Sam, something that sits 4 for when Tim and Gretchen come over to play cards or Mahjong. Life is certainly starting to change for me.

Fred, A dog is a lot of work that might weel betoo much for you to handle. The alternative is a cat. They are much lower maintenance than a dog - don't need to be walked, don't even need to go outside, and self cleaning litter boxes can be bought so that isn't a big hassle either. Cats, if handled every day, can become very affectionate. For example, we have 1 cat that we call "co-dependent" because you cannot open the bedroom door without her running in, jumping up on the bed and insisting on giving you as much love as she wants you to give her. If you are worried about pet allergies, just like there are dogs that are good for people with allergies, there are cats that are also good for people with allergies. If allergies are not a problem, I suggest adopting a cat from a pet store or shelter. All of my cats have always been rescues. Just an alternative you may not have thought about.

Saturday was intended to be one of those days that was to do nothing. We ended up going out to see friends that afternoon. We had a good time, talkinmg and watching movies, and got back about 12:30. Neither of us stayed up any longer, and turned in for the night. I was supposed to go to church on Sunday and to a Sunday School teacher's meeting, but I woke up with a horrible headache. I took 2 tylenol and went back to bed. Sam's mother called the house afound 1:45 and said she missed me at church. I explained why I hadn't gone. That was a good reason, according to her. The whole fan damly seems to be of teh mind that if Lydi has a headache, she should do nothing and stay in bed until it is gone.So, she asked if I was feeling better, and I was. The headache had resolved itself to just sinus pressure from all of teh pollen in the air. Then she told us that Sam's cousin and his wife were 4coming into town and nwould arriving at his uncle's holuse in about an hour and a half. Did we want to go? This is one of the cousins that Sam only gets to see about once a year, so I wasn't going to disappoint him. We jumped in the shower, got dressed and met his parents at their hoouse, to drive to Sam's uncles with them. Once Sam's cousin arrived, we wre all off to another one of his cousin's houses for a "family get together." Sam doesn't so much have a family as much as he has a clan. We walked into a literal house full of people. Thank God for teh rollator. People are less likely to come up and try to hug me when I am using that (so I use it pretty much anywhere I go, and especially at church). The afternoon was spent chatting, while children aged 4-12 ran through the house playing. At one point, while I was sitting with Sam's mother and his cousin, a few of the smaller ones came up and started asking questions about what that thing I walk with is and why do I walk with it. Sam's mother took it upon herself to answer all of their questions. Finally, the youngest little girl asked "why doesn't she talk?" Sam's mom told her "she talks, but you haveto talk to her first." All of the questions had been aimed at Denise or Mom from teh start. So, the little girl smiled and said "hi." I said "hi" back and she seemed satisfied. The group of them ran off to play some more. At one point in the afternoon, I was feeling tired and had started to doze off on the sofa. No one bothered me and I found out later that they even asked the kids not to play in the family room because I was sleeping. I only napped for about an hour. As the afternoon wore into the evening, there was a short debate about whether or not we wanted to wrap up the visit or go some place to eat. It was very soon decided that we would all troop, en mass to some place for dinner. Some one managed to find a place that could seet a party of 20 on very short notice and we were off....just as soon as the grop photos were taken. Dinner was interesting. Sam's family has a bit of Jeff Foxworthy definition of "redneck" to it - a glorious lack of sophistication, blended with generations of Irish and Celtic blood. They are a very rauckas bunch when any group of them gets together, loud and laughing, with a "what-you-see-is-what-you-get" element to their personalities. They are kind to lift a pint to almost anything, and give yoou a hearty slap on the back at the smallest of jokes. They are a lot of fun to be with, but at the same time, they are exhausting! By the time we got home at 10:00, I was definitely done for the day and put myself to bed. It was a good weekend, exhausting, but good.

Glad to hear that surgery went so well! Best wishes on rehab and life after it. Keeping you and Dan in my prayers!!! -Lydi