socialwork555

I too had a blood clot from my carotid artery, and it's painful to see what you've lost. I'm going through the grieving period, which is strange because you really don't know what's coming back yet, or how bad or good it's going to be.

Christian

Hey there, you are not alone..........As my PT was coming to a close and all the efforts had been directed toward making this wounded walrus walk. my PT advised me that the hand would not regain any function!!!!!!!!!!! WOWas I depressed and mad at my stroke UGH

I thought that during PT we were spending a lot of time on the leg and none comparably of the arm and hand

Well all of a sudden the PT was over and I was released and then the inurance went through the roof

Worry not Christian, I thought one morning about if acupuncture was worth a try and I arrived at the first appointment with a flacid right hand and arm. In about 12 visits and working with a stress ball, I can pick up the peanutbutter jar and hold it and using my effected arm open the refrigator door.

Pulling my glasses off my face with bad hand/arm was a hurdle but that has been accomplished so far. and holding my toothbrush to accept toothpaste.

 

The point of this discertation is that they don't always know and through a lot of hard work and time I can do a host of things that the PT said I wouldn't be able to and I feel a bit more comfortable each day

Hang in there and commit to a bit of work on your part and I imagine the results will follow, as mine have................

So when did you start the accupuncture? I have very high tone, and that is the biggest reason I cant use my hand. Plus i don't have any wrist strength. Were these your problems too?

You are doing a great job, no matter whether Bruce understands or not! Every decision made revolves around him, and you can cry as much as you need to. Life is so tough.

Yeah, I just can't take therapy anymore, now that i know that I'm not going to get my hand back......that was the hope of therapy. Now I'm just really sad, grieving. I can't count how many times I cry, but I always feel better. I'm thinking of all the the things I won't be able to do. Some of them I wouldn't do anyway. And some of them are just the basics.

I want to find some things to do, and make my own routine. But reaching out to others is a must, because I survive on social interaction. Even when I am depressed, I like to know that there are people out there. My OT suggested that I look in the newspaper, so maybe I'll do that. I just really would like to go back to work.

I can't do this same routine anymore, you know?

You are just in a bad place right now. First suggestion is to go back and read MC's Stages of Grieving. This may shed some light on what you are feeling. While it does not offer any suggestions, it does let you know that you have to get through all of them. Maybe print it out and keep it handy as time goes on.

 

As a caregiver now 2 1/2 years in, I will share with you that Bruce has chosen to take a break. For the first 1 1/2 years, I controlled his therapies, first at home and then as an Outpatient. He was exposed to everything available to him. We paid privately for six months and also joined the Aqua therapy. It is free as long as you are an Outpatient. Come November 2010 Bruce decided he had had enough. We then paid for the pool, but he can go six days a week. We investigated the Baclofen pump to help with the over-toning and he had the trial.

 

He then spent the next 7 months sitting in a WC, in front of the TV. We worked on stuff here at home: bathroom, meals, laundry, cleaning and he still has to go to work two days a week plus the pool. Two weeks ago, on Sunday, he decided he wants to walk again. And yes he has been on antidepressants since about six months in.

 

Personally I think your OT has the right idea. Maybe it is time to take a break and focus on something else for a bit. Try some new stuff: maybe the movies once a week, go window shopping, the library. Maybe consider an on=line course, or even better, the local community college.

 

Bruce and I volunteer at a local animal shelter. There are some things I just expose him to because his answer to everything I suggest is always "no" so until he comes up with a suggestion of his own, we try my stuff.

 

The idea being that even if something doesn't grab you, just try it. You never know. If you are in an urban, just take a walk and see what's around, look into stores, shops, outdoor markets. Just get out.

Hi Katrina

Believe me, I have wished I had just died before. I'm so sorry you are going through all this. I stay in bed and cry under the covers. It seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But somehow I make it.

I'm not saying I have been through anything like you, but those feelings are universal. I know life is unfair, and that it makes no sense.

You have your life ahead, and it's not all tragedy, I promise.

Christine: your question about doing all your exercises, every day is a running thread here, with survivors and caregivers, as well. Our Ruthpill posted some time back about 18 or so pages that the OT gave to William and her. Then you have to tack on speech and PT. You'd have to get up at 5am, maybe skip lunch in order to finish up in time for bed-lol. We laugh because recovery is always first on the list, but it is not the only thing on the list.

 

My goal for Bruce at home was two hours PT, two hours OT-his Right arm/hand still have no response, but we continue to work and an hour of speech, only because Bruce has a command of the language, reads at least an hour a day and conversation also counts. As things slowly progressed, we'd work a bit longer on the positives-walking, dressing. Whatever was working. He also Estims for an hour and a half every day.

 

Your attitude and willingness to do any work is a wonderful positive because anything you do will pay off, simply because you did not give up or get frustrated. Sounds to me like you have a terrific gam plan in place. Please keep us up to date. Debbie

Ha ha.....18 pages. That's crazy. I think my OT knows I'm growing inpatient and need something else to focus on. I like walking, so I do that a lot more than the PT home exercises. It's easy to work on the things you like, and they are usually liked because those things are coming along. I can't believe you do e-stim for an hour and a half. My therapist is looking into getting me one for myself, that I can do daily, for the opening of the hand.