oldman57

Debbie we did survive here in west virginia. no power outage for us yet but a lot of early snow. Yuk

Seems like forever since I last got to log on which it has. Had pc problems that finally are fixed. Modern technology, wonderful when it is working right but a nightmare when it doesn't. Everyone here is fine. Hope to see all my friends that I have missed tomorrow nite in chat.

I just hope our country doesn't forget these heros like they did the ones that came home from vietnam

Think I would hold onto that friend. Friends like that are far and few between

Didn't realize how long it has been since I last bloged. I have been guilty I guess of doing a lot of lurking as of late. Well all seems to quieting down here at long last. As we approach Thanksgiving day, I look back at was has been a real ruff year for us. Seems like after last Thanksgiving everything went down hill. It was the last time I would have any memorable activities with my father in law. Last Thanksgiving mother nature gave us a beautiful day weather wise. My father in law had been home a week or so from having a pace maker put in. He and I ate our thanksgiving dinner together out on his front porch. It wasn't long after Thanksgiving day that he got real sick and was in the hospital most of last winter. In July he became the 2nd of 4 deaths in the family this year. I can't help but wonder how everyone will hold up this year as the Holiday's approach. Holiday's where the family would all gather was treasured my daddy in law. Well the year continued with Kitty being hospitalized a few times. Start day after we buried my oldest nephew back in May. Kitty's cumodin went bad on her and she had a lot of internal bleeding from it. She spent 2 weeks in the hospital that round. Then over the summer a couple rounds with pnemonia. Then I went down sick I guess you can call it. Started out with a round of internal bleeding and then congestive heart failure. Some where in the midst of that I evidently had and somehow survived a silent heart attack. Guess I may sound like some of our survivors here, but from what I have read and understand it, not many survive the silent heart attacks. I don't think a day goes by that I don't think about that and wonder why I survived. Only the good Lord above knows the answer to that question. All in all with all the bad that has happen I am ever thankful that Kitty, Rose and I are still kicking and together. What the future holds is unknown by any of us. But for me I figure it should prove to be interesting. Oh and before I forget, I am thankful for my new found friends here on strokenet. May this site never go away or change. Mike

Sue you deserve the award congradulations.

Finally I have returned early this morning. I want to thank all of you for your prayers and support while I was gone. Now it is just a matter of recovery from the surgery and rebuilding my strength and stamina. Then learn my limitations and what electrical devices I have to avoid or how far to keep them away from where the defibulator is at in my chest. Next few weeks should be interesting.

Glad you all had a good time. Family is so important.

Well gang I though I would have Tuesday to pack and get ready to leave Wed to have my surgery. Well late this afternoon we heard from the Doctor who will be implanting the defibulator and he moved the surgery up one day. No big deal. Just hate the fact that I thought I would make it to caregiver chat tomorrow but guess I will have to miss it. Hopefully Rose will keep you all updated again. Don't worry too much Kitty's mom and niece will be around some to help take care of Kitty this time. From all I understand, Wed afternoon should start being interesting for me. My left arm will be strapped down to my side temporarily. Should be interesting figuring out how to do things one armed and handed like many of our survivors here. Recokon I will be getting a little taste of what they have had going on for awhile. Catch you all as soon as I am able to let you my extended family how I am doing.

I can remember the new england colors. I was born and raised till I was 10 in new hampshire.

Seems like ever since I came home from having the heart catherazation, I been doing a lot of thinking and realizing that life for me has once more changed. I recokon that life changes are just another part of the circle of life. First change was when Rose was born with a double aortic arch, which was corrected before she was a year old. Her pediatrician would not allow day care and at the time Kitty made more money than I did so I came home and learned all about what you stay home moms already new. It has been one of the hardest jobs out there, (just get another man to admit that lol). Then came Kitty's stroke causing change again as I had to learn to be a bit of a nurse maid. At first unlike some you fellow caregivers it was rather easy. I had caring duties, but Kitty at first was able stay in her wheel chair, move around the house and do some chores. I don't know how many of you are familar with diabetic neropothy, (forgive the spelling). I have learned through Kitty it is a very painful diesease with no cure. For Kitty the pain from the neropothy added to the results of the stroke, she stays in the bed most of the time where she seems to beable to tolerate the pain till we can get her into a pain clinic and get her pain meds going. The change has been slowly coming but more and more chores and care feel on my shoulders. These life changes I easily accepted. The change that has been the hardest to accept is my getting sick and went down. Also coming to grips accepting that I am no longer the spring chicken I once was. The hardest part is accepting what the doctors have diagnosed that some how I have been blessed, as Fred posted in his last blog, to be a survivor of a silent heart attack. The one from what I have reasearched and understand can be the killer stroke. Guess God decided I was still need here like our survivors for some unfinished business. Guess while I was in the hospital having the heart catherazation and a non stress stress test I had time to think. Since I have been home from the first round, and I find a little me time the thinking has continued. I have been feeling since I got home that I had changed mentally. I have been feeling more caring about my care giving duties, but have been keeping the thought to myself till this afternoon. I finally broke down and asked Kitty if it appeared I had change and not having crazy thoughts. Well she confirmed my belief that I had changed into a more loving and caring person. Guess what really helped me to finally accept the change is I went back in time and googled an old prayer that became popular some years ago. I am sure we have all heard of THE SERENITY PRAYER. I could remember what it said, but couldn't remember the exact wording so I googled and found it. I not only reread it, but I also wrote down on some paper. I learned from my search there is a second verse to it that I had no idea existed. To me the second part is more powerful than the first we saw posted on posters and Plaques. For the last several nights during my little bit of me time, I have thought about the words and I have finally come to accept that life for me personally has changed. I just wonder what kind of changes will come after the implant the defibulator and I heal and adjust to what I am sure will be another life change event for me. It ought to be an interesting journey that I am a little anxious and scared at the same time to get started. For those who don't remember or know the Serenity Prayer I suggest goggling it and read it. May help you on this road of change we are all on.

You are right Fred. We are truely blessed with surviving.

kitty watches that extreme couponin too. Just glad we don't have access to a lot of coupons. Kitty has a bad habit of buying anything on sale even if we don't need it or use it. lol