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It is wonderful to read of your trip. Just makes me happy. You have been missed around here so it is also good to see you back. Kind of feels like you have taken on the world...and won! ~~Donna

Gracious. How you still do all the caregiving tasks with that blood pressure and low hemoglobin I'll never know! You are tough. If the transfusion is needed, I hope it gives you more energy as well as an increased BP. Lauren has been having episodes of his BP dropping that low after he gets his meds. I'm working on it with his doctor but it makes him very weak and he doesn't think as clearly (an area we have no room to decline in!) For Lauren, though, he can just lay down and sleep it off--no work or obligations he has to attend to. Take care. ~~Donna

Thinking of you, Nancy. It's hard to be needed in so many places at once. I'm glad you've worked out a way to be with your friend and get help for Dan while you're gone. I'm sure your presence will be a comfort for your friend. ~~Donna

It's good to hear from you, Mary Jo. I'm glad the memorial mass brought a sense of closure as well as a fitting celebration of Dan's life. As you say, i don't think any of us can really prepare for the loss of someone we love and have been with through so many years of life. Seems like all we can do is just what you're doing--taking it as it comes and letting the grief have its time.

Keep in touch as it seems right. We are so interested in how you are doing. I hope you will find more and more occasions to laugh, as Dan most certainly wanted you to do when he was able to assist! Getting a sprinkler system is a good idea. You need to make things as easy as possible. Take good care of you. ~~Donna

I don't know how you kept up the pace for so long but I celebrate the end of it along with you! I'm sure it will feel so good to just be able to stay home. It sounds like Bob held up his side of the bargain quite well. Good for him. ~~Donna

Beautiful new home, Nancy! I hate that you have been placed in the position of needing to leave. However, some of these neighbors have created way more stress than you need. Best of luck in the transition! Your chicken cracks me up! ~~Donna

A milestone to celebrate for sure. We just hit the 40 yr mark in May. I'm so glad you were able to celebrate with family a couple of weeks ago. We never know when the off days are going to come so we grab the celebrations when we can! I hope he's feeling better today. ~~Donna

Thinking of you today and praying for the best outcome. ~~Donna

Wow! Not helpful at all. Time to call on some OTHER friends, hand selected. Choose one with amazing organizational skills and two or three strong ones to come over and put some order to the mess. You can be the director in getting things back into the sheds they belong in. You have enough to deal with--did you really need to come home to things worse than when you left? I think not! ~~Donna

I wrote a message a few days ago but somehow it didn't post. I did want you to know I am thinking of you. These last few months have been so difficult for you and Dan. I'm so sad for your loss. But I'm also glad you had some good laughs together even in his last days. Special memories for you. You have met the challenges of caregiving with wisdom and strength and I know you will continue to do so with the transition in front of you now. My prayers are with you. ~~Donna

Enjoy your trip and your reconnection with relatives. You will probably have good insights into what might be helpful for them in their caregiving roles. Also, just being able to talk with others about something not related to illness or caregiving is a wonderful gift, as you know very well. Hope you have a great time! ~~Donna

Julie, I was thinking about you when I heard of tornados in your area. I'm glad you are able to get Larry to the basement, even if it's difficult. At least you can get there. Enjoy the next few days of calmer weather--hope it lasts much longer than that! ~~Donna

That says it all, doesn't it Sue? I know you miss him and the life you had together. I admire the caregiver you were to Ray and your parents and I continue to support you as you place one foot in front of the other in this new journey. Share as you can and let it go when you can't. You continue to teach me. ~~Donna

Celebrate well this weekend! You both deserve it. I remember the stress of Joint Commission coming to certify the hospital I worked in. What you've gone through sounds the same. They find every nit picking thing they can to send everyone scurrying. It might just be a week but it takes a year off one's life! Glad it's over.

Overnight continence is wonderful! I'm glad you continue to see signs of improvement in Bruce. I know it is slow and never as much as we hope for but every bit is exciting. (At least I think it would be...)

Hope your weekend is restful and fun. ~~Donna

Mary Jo, I am so sorry to hear of this. I can certainly understand how tired and frustrated you must be. You knew going in there could be recovery problems but I imagine you weren't thinking of this kind of issue. You assess the situation, get input from the "experts," make the best decision based on what is needed now. You know you are not super human. You just do the best you can and I agree he's in no shape to come home at this point. Take care of you best you can and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. ~~Donna

I'm so glad you have made it through both eye surgeries and are showing improvement on both sides. That is just great. ~~Donna

Super job! You are walking well. Keep it up because you are making progress. ~~Donna

Wonderful news! I hope all your great grands have the opportunity to learn life's lessons from you. Congratulations! ~~Donna

I've heard it said that when you've seen one stroke, you've seen one stroke. They are all so different. I think the same is true with grieving. The process is yours and yours is unique. You need the time you need and no one else can possibly have all the variables of your life experience. I remember the benefit you felt from the grief counselor and wonder if returning to her might be helpful. You won't become permanently dependent. If you just rely on your own physical and emotional cues you will know when you've received what you need from her.

I have wondered also about your insight of how caregivers manage stroke recovery. All the losses come in stages throughout a long period of time but we don't have time or energy to grieve those losses as they come. Perhaps that delayed grieving is more intense once it is fully in front of us. Or perhaps grieving is just intense no matter when it comes to us.

"How does a past middle aged woman reorient herself to a new life?" One day at a time. I'm not sure the age makes much difference. Anyone who is suddenly thrust into a new world feels disoriented and must take time to create a life that fits the new experience. You will find your way. I am convinced of it. Give yourself all kinds of grace. ~~Donna

How wonderful that you were able to have that visit with your sisters! Great picture! Rest as you need to--even though I haven't had a stroke I sure do understand how those visits can be exhausting as well as fun. ~~Donna

My prayers are with you. I know you are tired. Praying for strength and peace for you and a gentle passing for your brother. It is all so hard. ~~Donna

Thanks for the update, Jamie. Good news on the carotid front. It must be a relief to know they are clear. The cardiomyopathy is unfortunate. Lauren's heart was also damaged by his heart attack and we have had the discussion with our cardiologist about a defibrillator. His ejection fraction was 35% last check. We'll not do it now but may need to reevaluate one day. In your case, it sounds like a good idea. I know aggressive treatment can help. We had a friend who had an EF of 15% and he has improved a lot with good treatment. I hope that will be true for you too. ~~Donna

Mary Jo, you and Dan remain in my thoughts and prayers. The rocky recovery is so stressful. It must be so hard to see him confused and disoriented. Take care of yourself best you can. ~~Donna

When you're given a gift you just go with it! Thank goodness for wonderful neighbors with front end loaders! ~~Donna

What a beautiful story of caring. You were exactly what he needed at just the right moment. You may never know how much good you did on Thursday but the effect of your compassion and wisdom will continue far beyond the day. Thanks for sharing. ~~Donna