Kim, Just as you are not alone here in dealing with stroke, you are not alone in dealing with a child with severe addiction. You should not be ashamed or embarrassed about it, but even though I knew that, I still was ashamed. I grew up with a mother with severe addiction issues, first with alcohol and then with pills. As my daughter grew up she saw how devastating my mother's addiction was for us for years, and then she ended up exactly the same way. I never understood it and probably never will. Their addiction was stronger even than their love for their children. I don't see how anything can be stronger than love for your child. Both my mother and my daughter were never able to overcome their addictions and they both died without accomplishing that. My mother did try several times and always relapsed but my daughter stayed in denial, trying to convince everyone she didn't have a problem, until the day she died.
It is heartbreaking to watch what is happening and not be able to do anything about it. The fact is that it is HIM that has to want to overcome it and there is nothing anybody can do about that. You CAN choose whether you and your other son have to be a witness to it and live with it on a daily basis though. I by no means am in a position to give advice on this subject since obviously, whatever I did wasn't correct because they both ended in a tragic outcome. I just hope it helps you to know there is somebody that knows exactly what you are dealing with and how frustrating and heartbreaking it is. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Dena