mynorthstarmaxwell

Stroke Caregiver - female
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Blog Entries posted by mynorthstarmaxwell

  1. mynorthstarmaxwell

    In a Zone....

    By mynorthstarmaxwell,

    I really dont know what to feel at the moment....I've worked so hard to get things right for charles once he moves down here with me. I've lined all the necessary Doc's for him and searched for PT,OT and ST for him. It was always an ordeal to get him to any appointments, always finding myself arguing with him, since he is stubborn and we are always running late for his appointments.
    He no longer has PT because he doesnt like any of therapist that has worked with him, and wont do any of the exercises they've asked him to do. He had ST two days a week, but we have cut it down to once a week because he tells me ST "sucks". He also doesnt do any ST homework and when I try to get him to do it, he gets frustrated and angry with me. He's now only seeing OT once a week for his right arm. He' so focused on getting movement back on his right arm but dont want to go more than once a week.!!
    Somedays, I get so angry because I rush home from work to get him to his therapy and he acts up..so I always end up making excuses and cancelling his appointments. I just want what's best for him but he's not the driven person I used to know! I try to do things to get him motivated to wanna write or spell but he refuses. All he wants is to do his Lego's, listen to music and watch ESPN. Its making me want to give up hope...I feel exhausted because he's not driven to want to get better.
    Its the same routine..he stays up til 2am, sleeps til 12:30pm or later. I get off at work 3:15pm, rush home to him and its constant catering to his needs til I go to bed around 10 or 10:30pm. Im living for the both of us, havent seen many of my friends in like forever. I mostly txt them. My family are all in CA, I do miss them very much. His parents are up in PA, they never ask how Im doing? or if I need anything? they keep making excuses when he ask them to come down and visit us in MD.
    my heart aches...I feel like crying, screaming and throw in the white towel. I just turned 40, been with him for 16yrs, still not married, no kids, no home. I just wish he would say to me "amy, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, lets get married, have kids and buy a home" ...but til this day, still havent heard those words. We are engaged but no set date yet, he's worried if we get married his disablitly check will be low, I figured only reason he would know that is his mom had said something to him. To me, its not about the money, its the LOVE i have for him.
     
    Its 5pm...I'm going for a run to help with my stress
  2. mynorthstarmaxwell

    another seizure

    By mynorthstarmaxwell,

    so this is the second day that charles had a seizure...both times I was at work so I dont know how long they lasted. Today, he called me at work telling me that he felt it coming on,from what I could get out of him. So I rushed home to him. There's not a day I go without worrying about him. I did call his primary and neuro. He is on anti-seizure pills, started w/ 250mg but today taking the full 500mg.
    The neuro did informed that seizures were a common thing after a stroke...has anyone experienced it? anything that can be expected after a stroke? Charles is doing fine now, but it takes alot of energy out of him. He's up and walking around and had some yogart.
    I always fear that he may have fallen and hit his head...I feel like my blood pressure has risen and my heart out of my chest when I got his call. IM doing better as well, but it scared me.
  3. mynorthstarmaxwell
    So I came across a new PT that just opened up about 10mins from where we live and I made a stop in...Im so glad I did. They have a aquatic therapy that has a build in treadmill..! pretty amazing. So I made an appointment for charles, in hopes that it will help him to get strength back in his right leg. His appt is on Sept 4th, I'll keep everyone posted on how he's doing.
  4. mynorthstarmaxwell
    Hello, my name is Amy Moua, Im new to this site. My fiance had a stroke june 7, 2012...this date will be forever remembered. My fiance was 37yr when he had the stroke. I remember a few days before his stroke, he had a root canal on #19 and was complaining how sore it felt, not thinking it could had something to do with leading to a stroke, I told him to go back and have the tooth looked at when he got the chance. On June 7th, we said good-bye, I gave him a kiss before he left to work and I was going to take my boards that same morning.
    The boards was a 6hr exam, once i was inside I couldnt take my phone with me. So when I was done with the first 4hrs, I went to check my phone. I had tons of missed calls from his work and knew something had happened. When I did call his co-worker, I was told that he had a stroke! I immediately started bawling and really didnt know what to do....its difficult to relive this, makes me tear up everytime.
    I did make it to the ICU and have been by his side through it all. He had a blocked left carotid artery. Til this day, he still has no movement on his right arm and it really concerns him. He's walking with a 4 point cane, he can't really flex his right foot up and is wearing a brace. He is seeing ST,OT at the moment. He hasnt been happy with the PT and refuses to go back.
    I really dont have the family support that I was hoping to get from his side of the family. His parents were nasty to me, critized and watched everything that I did, just so they can talk about all that Im not doing right. I've been told by his mother that Im part to blame for his stroke becuase of all the stress he's had to deal with, finacially supporting me through Dental Hygiene school and how Im non-existant to her. SO, I've been his primary care-taker since he's moved back home with me feb. 2013, which was another ordeal in itself.
    This has really been a challenge and emotional..this is my first experience with stroke and really didnt know what to do or who to turn too. He's very set in his ways which makes it difficult to talk him into doing anything no matter how much I try to explain the benefits of doing it and his emotions are to the extreme, whether he is feeling happy, sad, anger, joy or laughter. I just never know what tomorrow will be like....I pretty much have stop living my life to fulfill his. I have endured alot through this whole thing, and have stood by his side for 16yrs now. I have seen him at his worst to what he's progress to this day and still love him as much as the first day we met.
    I needed an outlet to explain my story to those that have gone through or experienced what I had, so that I wont feel like Im going insane.
     
    sincerely,
     
    Amy