smarshall

Hey mud, (I like that nickname!) I had a brainstem stroke almost 11 years ago and I STILL speak, laugh, cry, etc., at inappropriate times. What's happened to you is a devastating thing. Give yourself time, and try not to beat yourself up; people are tougher than you think. Take care, Susan

My husband and a friend of his are doing some electrical work in the kitchen, so I'm doing this. I'm in a much better frame of mindhan I was yesterday. My mother tells me that I have too much free time on my hands; causes me to think too much. (She could be correct; I think my hormones arehelping to create havoc too!) It never ceases to amaze me when I learn of someone in the public eye having a stroke. I'm not sure why that is. I was using the computer late yesterday afternoon, (Which is something I don't usually do.) and I found out that the weather guy, Mark McEwen, from CBS had had a stroke last November. I used to enjoy watching him as he reminded me, (His humor and class.) of my younger brother. I realize that famous people have the $$, and probably get the best care available. I wonder how many of them visit these sites, and have actually made some sort of connection with their fellow survivors, or caregivers. Off to do some :cleaning: Susan

It's Wednesday afternoon and my new kitchen cabinets were supposed to be in today. No dice; "Maybe tomorrow." (Here's hoping, eh?) No new appliances; the ones we have now are only about four years old. (Except for the dishwasher; that's probably around 10.) Afternoon's are the toughest for me. With my husband working 3rd. he's asleep, and I am just too *$@@## tired to do much of anything! I have some books with large print that I enjoy reading,and I can make it a whole three or four pages before I have to stop! I have been housebound for over 10 years and I STILL haven't figured out how to spend my time, (Some of it anyway!) constructively. I thought I accepted this stroke thing a long. long time ago; maybe not, I don't know. I've said the "Serenity Prayer" over and over and over again. "Fake it til you make it." Between you and me I'm having - what's called a "Faith Crisis" and I don't know how to handle it. I wonder if this is somehow delaying my recovery?

Did you ever have one of those mornings when NOTHING goes right? I got up around 2am, (My husband works 3rd shift, and these hours work for us.) this morning I have missed my coffee cup, spilling coffee all over the counter; missed getting stuff in the garbage, (Even when I thought I was right over it!) thinking I put - whatever - away on shelves, only to have it come crashing down because I either missed the shelves completely, or I got the item part of the way on. Thank God for humor! I'm going to go and see if there's anything positive on the news! (Yeah right! ) Susan

I did this yesterday morning and lost it! (Frustrating to say the least!) I went to get a smiley, and BAM - no more blog. :ranting: I think the combination of having a stroke and being perimenopausal have done a number on my internal thermostat. Heat and humidity are what I have a difficult time with :cheer: for air conditioning and fans!! I can't wait for autumn and winter. (It's really pretty around here at that time too!) I live on a dirt road, out in the middle of nowhere, in a small farming town in northern Vermont. (More cows than people!) I absolutely love it here. After having neighbors so close they could hear you turn over in bed, this is a nice change. My dogs love it too. Aside from the two weeks of deer hunting, where you almost have to paint in large letters D.O.G. - on the side of them so they can go out and do their thing, having so much room to run around is great.

This is all very new to me; I've never done this before. No journeling, diaries - nothing. I tend to look at doing this as a way to let out any feelings I might have...(Might?) : on having the stroke, and having my world turned completely around at age 36. Younger than a lot of survivors, and older than some. It's all relevent, isn't it? What's reality for one person means just as much as the reality of another. REGARDLESS of what that reality is!! (My own feeling, but hey. that's what this whole thing is.) That's it for now...I'll be back!