heathber

Hi Tracy, I'm just catching up on your blog, it sounds like you've been having a very stressful time. I know it's easier to say than do but try not to beat yourself up, none of us are perfect and we all have times when everything collapses.  So yesterday was bad, get up today and start again, today is a new day. Remind yourself, no one minds how many times you have to start again so long as you don't give up.  Give yourself permission to be less than perfect.

Love and hugs

-Heather

Hi Fred, the exercise should also help bring the blood pressure down, as well as get the lymph system firing and reduce the swelling in your ankles, the less you can rely on the drugs the better.

The dogs will have each other while you are out, there's no need to feel guilty about leaving them for an hour or so.

The more you can keep moving the better. And if the machines give you more variety and keep it interesting then that's a bonus

It sounds like a good change - Enjoy

-Heather

Exactly Sue, I'm usually pretty well hydrated, but I also have naturally low blood pressure. It's been like that for years (nothing significant, just on the lower side of "normal") So I'm being a bit more aware/vigilant about the fluid intake again and hoping it was a one off.

I just realised what I forgot to add to this.  I feinted the weekend before last.  That was a new trick for me.  Went through a battery of tests last week and got final results on Monday, they could not pinpoint any cause.  So it's on the lets not do that again list, but with no real cause found no way to know how to achieve that. Other than the usual stuff.  The final opinion is a momentary drop in blood pressure, possibly because I'd been sitting in front of the fire. And given the loss of one carotid artery, I could be more prone to feint without the usual dizzyness warning.

Pearls, It's none if your son's business if it's something you want to do and the owner says it can be managed safely so what if you don;t do it the same way as everyone else and you don't look cute doing it. Get out there and have a great time. Life is for living

Hugs

-Heather

Magic! enjoy

Oh I hear you Carol terrific progress. I'm so pleased for you.  I too was not happy when I discovered that my reading was limited by my scanning issues immediately post stroke. Thank goodness for the Scottish OT who gave me a piece of paper to hide the text I was not actually reading, so scanning was no longer an issue.  With her help I was reading almost normally by the time I got on the plane to come home.  These days I'm using an ereader or hardback library books as managing turning pages in a paperback with only one active hand sucks. But I too am back in book club. And it's wonderful. 

Hi Pam, That sounds like a magic evening.  And yes goals need to be specific and concrete.  There's nothing like that feeling of "I did it" even if the rest of the world doesn't get it, although having someone to share that glee with helps too.  I'll never forget the look on Bron's face when I limped across her living room for the first time after my stroke, with her sitting in her wheelchair knowing that this was something she'd never do again.  ( She got it as no one else I showed off to in that week did.)

I hope you sorted out the phone issue, tech is supposed to make our lives easier not harder, but sometimes I wonder.

-Heather

If he hates it that much is it really worth the fight?  Is there an alternative that he would enjoy? Have you spoken to the yoga instructors about doing modified yoga with him instead?  I do an assisted modified yoga session each week and it's good fun and helpful therapy.

My grandma always said "don't borrow trouble"  Change comes whether you are ready or not, and not all change is bad so try not to fret about what hasn't happened yet.  And if writing helps you be more ready for the change then that's a good thing happening now.  Plan for the worst, expect the best.  Once the plans are in place let it go and be what it will be.  You can do this.

Love Heather

Maybe they are trying to distract people. Sometimes focusing on something else helps.  My neurophysio has admitted as much, he talks all through my sessions as he doesn't want to give my brain the chance to make a pain association with what he is doing i.e. moving my arm and leg around

Funny/annoying how unlearning takes so much longer than learning

Just hang onto the mantra "tough times don't last" you will get through this and you will find your happy again.  As you say that chapter is closed for now and maybe your boy will change his mind in a few years and come looking for you, but if you keep waiting for that to happen it'll hurt too much if it doesn't so you do need to put that thought on a top shelf and not let it hurt you anymore.

Hugs from this side of the world,

-Heather

I have my surgical review this afternoon, 4 weeks after my cast came off. Mine was leg not arm but it's worth it.  My toes are being like your fingers, hopefully they'll adjust again soon. It's hard getting everything working again once the cast is off but it's so nice to have things start to move where they should, rather than just being locked. Good luck with 6 weeks in a cast I nearly went crazy with 4 weeks of it.

Hi Pam, It's not so much "living in the moment" you need to do as "living in the now"  The past can't be changed the future hasn't happened yet, so by being where you are now you enjoy what is enjoyable of what you have.  There's no problem with going into your head( for past or future dreaming) if the now is not good so long as you don't miss something good in the now because your mind was elsewhere. or if it means you don't work now for what you want later.  But yes finding calm is good, except when you need to use the not calm to achieve something for tomorrow, just remember that once you've made use of the anger you can let it go.

Hoping you find a balance that lets you be happy.

Love

-Heather

Love this Pam, I hope you can do this lots now your summer has arrived.

Hi John, Great first blog.  Sounds like you are working hard.  Pushing through the headache can't be any fun, I'm so glad that I've been spared that and CPS (so far).  But you also need to listen to what your body and brain are telling you.  If you need to rest do.  Stroke fatigue is no joke.  And sensory overload after a stroke is a real thing that you need to manage.  It does get easier/better for most of us over time but, coming to terms with something that will take years to improve is a challenge most people stumble over sometimes. Hang in there

Best of luck with your continued recovery

-Heather

It's these little things that make such a huge difference to your mood. So glad you found them

yep definitely getting the fat foot/ankle problem it's not too bad when I get up in the morning, and the shoe is certainly limiting it to some degree but it's pretty bad by the time I go to bed.  Lymphatic drainage on that side hasn't been very good since the stroke so surgery is just putting more strain on a system that's already compromised.

Cursing myself at the moment.  Saturday evening I had a brain fart and tried to walk down some steps "normally", completely forgot that I can't step past yet, let alone step past and down  I felt the muscle strain (I suspect it tore a little) and I certainly set myself back at least 2 days worth of healing.  was walking very flat footed for about an hour but I did manage to get the toe lift back before bed that night.

Go for it Kelli, fingers and toes crossed you find what/who you're looking for with minimal pain and discomfort.  you're a braver woman than me.

That sounds like the perfect birthday week.  So glad you enjoyed it and are feeling ready for the next year.  May it be full of friends and laughter.

-Heather

How times have changed Fred, These days they want you up and about as soon as you can tolerate the pain, even after knee and hip replacement surgery they get you walking within the first few days,even if it is with a frame.  I have been told not to overdo it but I've also been told keep walking.

Scott I can handle going back to PT, especially when I can see the improvements.  No formal PT done yet but I've already been able to abandon the crutch and I walked to the end of the block and back at lunch as I had to get some cash from the machine for the weekend.  It took a long time and I'm a bit stuffed now, but I was able to maintain heel strike most of the way and when I lost it a 30 second standing rest was enough to get it back.

I'm still not stepping past the left foot with the right when I walk, but I think the stride is slowly lengthening, there's so little strength in the calf at the moment I've got no push off power, and I'm going to have to go back to the old "sit to stand" daily practice I think.

Hey Pam, that step out of therapy is scary and feels so daunting.  But so long as you have a plan and execute at least one item from the plan each day you're in front.  You can and will do this. Just remember some days will be harder than others and don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day, just pick yourself up and start again.  And remember we are all here cheering you on good day or bad day.

-Heather

Assisted living sounds like a great move.  Fingers crossed you find somewhere soon.

Hi Sue,

It does sound like you need a pet of some sort.  I do find having the cat very beneficial to my mental health. I got her when I first came home from hospital and having to look after her gave me extra motivation for looking after myself, and she was a great physical therapy tool, providing a moving obstacle when I was still getting this walking thing automatic again.  I had not had a pet for many years because of my lifestyle, but I knew that was changing after the stroke anyway and she doesn't tie me down that much. I use an in home cat sitting service when I'm away for more than one night, but it is an extra cost so you don't go into it lightly.

So maybe I'm now a traditional crazy cat lady who talks to the cat as she comes and goes but I can live with that stereotype.  Like your friends I'm happy in my own company although I miss having someone to go out to dinner or a gallery with.

Hugs

-Heather

p.s. I'm not a Widow but I do live alone with no partner in the picture

-H

Oh yes to this one!  Have a list of things that have to get done to reach the end goal and then just work your way through the list one step at a time.  It also means you can see the jobs you can give to someone else if you need to.  And that feeling of accomplishment when you cross something off the list