heathber

Oh Pam, just what you don't need but you will get through this hurdle too So hard to find a partial solution and then to have to go back to waiting and with a new worry on top of it. HUGS

The sing talk thing is backed up by research. You connect into the speech center of the brain via a different path when singing than you do when talking. With training it can be used as a way to work around aphasia. I guess you have to think about what you want to say rather than how to say it. It might be worth a try.

That is such great news Tracy. Having your Mom help with the money and planning is a good idea. I do hope you can get your own place now!

oh yes I'm a member of that club too. Just do what feels right for you. It can be nice to have a male friend, it doesn't have to be more than talk

Start at the beginning and put one foot in front of the other. If it becomes an income stream that's wonderful but enjoy the scenery along the way too.

So pleased for you Tracy. It's a huge step forward. Other people can't read your mind! and allowing yourself to ask for help is not an imposition on others. I wish I could get my Mum to realise that! She is going blind (macular degeneration) and still won't ask for help when she needs it. I thought I was bad on that one but it turns out I'm only a minnow compared to her.

you are a "bad man" Deigh I'll take my filthy mind elsewhere now.

Well done you! that lifting rule is so easy to forget if you aren't lifting regularly, look after yourself. It is sad that she didn't make it, but you all did your best and if it was her time it was her time. I am so glad that your confidence has been boosted rather than sapped as it easily could have been by an event like this.

hi Deigh both links work and that looks like a very sensible solution

Massive HUGS to you It's such a pity that we have to fight for things that should just happen automatically

All perfectly understandable though. Your step mom shows all the indications of pathological hoarding so she isn't going to throw anything away as she feels that the memories are the things. She will need to want to change and get psychological help before anything does change so yes "let it go" is your only hope. She doesn't really want you to touch anything or to "help" so hopefully your can move out soon and leave her to it. Fingers crossed for the disability hearing

So pleased that you are at peace with his passing and are moving on with the things you wanted to do. It can be such a hard transition. Hugs -Heather

Very true Tracy. Sometimes people don't realise/see others needs unless/until you ask. Especially if you haven't asked before, and they think you have everything you need where you are.

Of course Pam! Crazy Cat Ladies unite! how many cats we actually have is about how many cats are compatible with our living arrangements/abilities, not how many we want.

Hi Pam enjoy what you have now for as long as it lasts no point in borrowing trouble you have plenty without that 😘

Yes they are doing you a favour, right now, by letting you have a room. but as Pam said that doesn't make you Cinderella. Don't let them guilt you into thinking you must repay them with household chores. Hooray for the crazy cat ladies with only one cat!

Living alone is great Tracy. OK so the neighbours think I'm the crazy cat lady. Who cares! Yes there are some things where I get stuck and have to ask my sister to come rescue me, but that goes both ways. I hope you have someone you will be able to call when needed, but right now it sounds like you are on the give end of the equation all the time and that wears even the fit and healthy down.

Extra hugs coming your way Tracy. My back went "out" for the first time in my life last Monday. So I now know what that's like. I've been battling to keep moving and finding a spot were you can be comfortable for more than a few minutes is so hard. How you managed to look after others while coping with that I don't know. My hat's off to you. Fingers and toes crossed that you get good news from your disability hearing and are able to get out of that environment soon. It isn't good for you. Hugs again -Heather

Oh Pam HUGS. I'm sure your son would not be so mean as to cut off your phone, give him time to calm down and then try to explain to him that pain brings out the worst in people so no matter what you said/say he needs to know you love him and appreciate his help and compassion. I do hope this can be resolved for you. and know that we love you too and would help more if it was possible. -Heather

Janelle time for a vinegar clean of the microwave I think. https://www.practicallyfunctional.com/how-to-clean-a-microwave-vinegar-steam/ smells like that get into the pores of the seals etc. so something like this is needed to get them to dissolve.

Step 1 of change see something and decide to do it differently. Being able to see yourself from the outside view is not easy. I think it is a milestone and like all of those celebrate it and make the change you want.

Hey Kelli, I'm rooting for you, yes those first 2 weeks are going to be killer. I do hope you've managed to organise some extra help at home or at least got your meal prep done and in the freezer. You'll want to be able to get home eat and crash and proper nutrition will make it a whole lot easier to cope with. It will get easier once you get into a pattern with it.

Sue it's hard news but we all have to go sometime and it's not something you can change so as you say try to ignore it as much as possible. The reality is we all live our lives with death only a moment away, but we mostly manage not to think about it. That's certainly harder to do when it's called to our attention. So enjoy each day and make the most of opportunities as they arise.

Sorry I don't have anxiety so feel free to tell me to stuff off. Have you tried "working it off" a night walk might be a bad idea but what about sit ups or sit to stands or any other core exercises you can do those without disturbing anyone else in the house. If that doesn't help then maybe try mindfulness meditation. I'm sure with your google skills you can find a guided mindfulness meditation track that will help.