heathber

Nancy you need to do what is right for you. If you are going to have to move anyway what about a retirement community with an attached care home? At least that way you will be living close enough to visit easily if/when he moves from your "house" back into full care, it would also give you access to in home assistance before then. Whatever you choose, take your time and don't be guilted into anything. It is sad when his current home can't see the funny side of you pointing out crazy things that happen.

My goodness Tracy no wonder you are on edge. A heap of hugs being sent your way. You will all get through this. Breath deep and try to take each minute as it comes. You are due for some good news, I do hope you get some.

phones and laptops need to be removed from reach while you are drugged! Glad it went well. Hope the incisions heal well and quickly!

For unplanned hospital visits you expect a certain level of medication chaos. It's when you go in for a scheduled procedure and they won't let you have your meds even though you bought them in with you because "the doctor has not written it up yet" It makes me cross as, thankfully mine are not pain meds so it nuisance value only. You'd think they are more careful with pain meds as timing is so critical with those and you need to have them before you get breakthrough pain as it's so much harder to solve existing pain than to prevent it occuring. Pam you got through this and you will again. I just wish you didn't have to suffer. But the world is full of silly people who can't or won't plan ahead.

More Hugs here Tracy. Hang in there you will survive this. So sorry to hear about your brother. It is about time the world gave you a break, but that's not always how it works. Just remember to breath and count to 10

it's pretty scary the first few days in an office. But so long as you pace yourself and do things like half days at first, you should be able to do this and the pocket money helps a lot. Don't forget to factor travel time and energy into the calculation. When I first went back to work I was only doing half days from home and it was only once I was acclimatised to that that we got brave and converted 3 half days at home into 1 full day in the office and 2 half days from home. A half day in the office used the same energy as a full day because I was not allowed to drive at that stage. Fingers crossed you get the job and can make it work.

That's great news hopefully you will also soon know what it is as well. Good luck to your Dad for his treatment.

I can understand how that would wear you down over time. I don't have any advice I 'm single. But wanted to say "I hear you" -Heather

"I could NOT say, however, that life is actually "enjoyable," beyond the occasional brief, yet transient moments that flutter in and out of my awareness like a feather in a hurricane." I think this is pretty normal actually. Living in a constant state of enjoyment would be very tiring. I think the key is to be aware of and note the enjoyable moments. If you are going to take a tumble outside 1 am sounds like a good time to do it (no witnesses )

They do say that swearing uses a different part of the brain than normal speech. I think some people deserve to be exposed to that side of your brain.

If the chemo only increases his chances by 5% then if he doesn't tolerate it well you can stop it, My Mum ended up doing this with her cancer as the chemo knocked her around so badly. One thing they are saying now with cancer treatment is that exercise greatly increases your chances of beating it and helps you feel better during treatment. http://theconversation.com/every-cancer-patient-should-be-prescribed-exercise-medicine-95440

I see that too Scott, people seem to be more aware of brain injury and it's consequences, the fact that a stroke is just one form of brain injury isn't obvious to most people. I think it's part of the culture that says Brain injury is not your fault, but a stroke is. Also brain injury is something that happens to young people while stroke is not. All incorrect of course, but is an impression that people have. There's an anti smoking ad on tv here at the moment that makes me cross. I know they are deliberately showing worst case result of stroke, but ...

Well done on knitting at all. My mother tried to teach me, My Gran tried to teach me, my sister tried to teach me and that was all 40 odd years ago. I never could remember from one session to the next. My great aunt taught me to crochet with no issues I just had a blind spot for knitting. I'm still amazed when my sister knits and watches tv at the same time. Mum gave it up about 20 years ago when the arthritis got too bad. Monday knitting group sounds like fun! Best of luck with the part time job 4-6 hours is a start, you can build on that.

Hi Tracy, yes the blog is the safest place to let those feelings out. While I don't experience your emotional roller coaster I can sympathise and appreciate where it comes from. As a child I too was the master of the quick nasty response, that really hurts someone. It took many years to learn to bite my tongue then and I would hate to have to learn it again now. The main thing now is to not beat yourself up (too much) when it happens. Trying to have sympathy and understanding of your Dad's current issues does not mean letting him turn you into a doormat to unload his own crap onto. I hope the cat has recovered from whatever triggered her to throw up.

That sounds much more hopeful, Well done One step at a time is good. When you can't change things you have to just roll with it.

Oh bother Tracy, I do hope you made it through the day without a melt down! Any bug/illness knocks you sideways after a stroke, your immune system just doesn't cope. But as you know life goes on and the jobs still have to get done. This is where living with other people can be hard, you don't want to let them down and they have their own issues so they are much less likely to notice you are not well, and you don't want to "burden" them with your current weakness. But you are allowed to say to the girls "I'm not very well today and neither is Pop, so try to be helpful today". Can you get them to help you with cleaning the kitchen or doing the washing, or taking the trash out. I'm not sure of their ages/skills but I always found that was the best way to deal with my nieces and nephews when their Mum was not well. My sister could never understand why they would do things for me that they wouldn't do for her, but I think it was that I got them to help me rather than just asked them to do it alone. I hope you feel better soon and that the Docs can sort out your throat.

Glad to hear that your Dad's chances are good Tracy. But now I'm trying not to think about fries (chips) too I'm a vinegar or tomato sauce girl when it comes to chip dressing though.

Fingers crossed for you as often as I can spare them!

That is hard news Tracy. But there's nothing you can do to change the diagnosis so you are right to let them handle it how they feel is best and just be ready to support your Dad and Stepmom as needed. Hopefully they've found it early enough that it can be successfully treated. Try not to worry too much. Hugs -Heather

Absolutely Asha! Forms are the worst even without deficits. Congratulations I hope it means you can have that vacation.

Ty, you have us in your life. late night ranting is not so bad. and yes it "doesn't matter" but one of the side effects of posting here is that we tend to pass on what works for each of us. Feel free to take or ignore advice given. but when someone is hurting they need a response, and will usually get one here. virtual hugs from the other side of the world Look after yourself. -Heather

I get that binge watching thing, it plays havoc with your sleep patterns which does not help with getting a routine going or controlling a depressive trend. Also knowing that exercise will help with fighting off the depression and improve your sleep is not always enough to make you change the pattern. I'm in a process of breaking a late sleeping habit I fell into after surgery/anesthetic. I find setting a repeat alarm on my phone helps. it goes off at 10pm and again every 15 minutes until 11 pm, it's not a loud or long alarm and if I'm already in bed it's not enough to fully wake me. but it is helping to keep me on track. Do try to get back to your exercises and find a way to make them fun. How you do that depends on the area you are trying to work and where/what your deficits are. Consider kicking a ball or setting yourself an obstacle course. If you are going to watch TV do some sit to stands every time an advert comes on. If you don't meet your expectations for yourself don't beat yourself up about it, past is past make yourself a new plan and move forward, even if it is minute by minute. Minutes add up to hours and hours add up to days,... you can do this but it won't fix itself.

it must be so hard that your family just don't get it. Maybe it's because so many people in my family have had "invisible" chronic health issues like migraine, anxiety, depression, etc. I'm not saying we all "get it" to the same degree or even don't resent it when something goes wrong for one of us and a planned event just isn't going to include someone. But we all accept that "invisible" things get in the way occasionally, and sometimes someone will head off for a "nap" in the middle of an event. I can't really imagine what not having that must be like. Congratulations on surviving the party, and congratulations on the new "niece".

A heart literally all of a flutter over something. my goodness, but not being able to exercise sucks. I had that when my liver was sick. "don't do anything that raises a sweat" your body can't cope with the toxins at the moment. Take it easy for now, 6 weeks is manageable.

That sounds uncomfortable and sort of scary, good to hear they can do something and it's only day surgery. Fingers etc. crossed. I'm not a coffee person but I've spent enough time with people who are to understand the need to enjoy your coffee again.