HostTracy

Very well said Sandy. I was always soft, pliable, forgiving, expecting but not critical. I've had to toughen up. It's a fine line.

I'm glad for you Asha...These are sometimes hard bumps in life. I know I haven't perfected tackling them but I try. 🙂 I hope it gives you inner peace...seems as though it does.

Thanks Kelli no worries. I think you have a great point. All of you do. I think yes that I have to fight not in the physical way but emotionally yes. I'm also exhausted and honestly only me to take care of me. There are some things I have to avoid or stay away from...trying to keep my anxiety at bay most of the time. I know I spend every waking moment feeling the effects of my stroke...it is always right there. I suppose I have had to put me first...I used to never. This makes me think of the quote "you are more than your stroke". I'm going to try to be more aware and talk about the things others may want to talk about. I don't think I really have ever noticed I do it til recently. Maybe this is a new milestone. 🙂

Wow, Ruth, I am completely moved at what you have endured. It sounds like William was finding his peace you're right life is amazing. God bless you for the loving, caring, life changing role you have been during the past 10 years. As you know 1st hand stroke doesn't just happen to the stroke survivor it's effects reach far. You are a survivor and an angel for William. I'm am so glad you can feel a certain closure and release. I'm so glad you are spending time, you haven't been able to, with supportive friends. I'm so glad you are making plans and looking forward to the future. I don't know William but I could sure bet that he would want you to. I am so sorry for your loss. I think you are finding peace as well. Thank you for the brief time so far that I have been able to be a little part in your life. You ARE amazing.

Pam...have it printed and laminated then place it on a background of one of your beautiful collages. I said this yesterday...I am my own best advocate period. Your boundaries are very valuable. I say put up your electric fence. May your day and your next be peaceful. 🙂 Just keep hearing me say that last sentence in repeat every day.

Ruth I read your post with tears. I see you as so strong...Not many could feel your shoes. I pray that peace finds you both and your family. As a survivor, I can only hope that if in a similar situation that I have the love and support that you have been for William. I hope that sends a message of peace...I know I would be truly blessed and held (when I need it the most). I have you both in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so glad you are thinking about the future. I bet William is too. Hugs friend.

Thank you truly Nancy. 🙂

Absolutely!!! 🎉👗👊

Oh I'll have to look his music up and try! Thanks Pam!

Thanks everyone for all the positive vibes. It's a work in progress. 

My prayers are with you and William during this period. I pray that the Lord will lift each of you in His calming arms in peace. I pray that William will rest without pain and you will rest with calm. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kelli I am thinking about you and your new adventures. I'm pulling for you...Those 1st 2 weeks are going to be hard I know. I believe in you and know once things get settled you'll do great. Fear of the unknown...that's what I think during this time of change. I know it makes me think about unknown things in future. I look up to you and am very proud of your umph! Get the 2 weeks past, get the moldy air problem kicked, and you should know I am cheering for you all the way!! 🤘👨‍👩‍👦 <---- I don't know where the family came from but I must have selected it but I can't figure out how to remove it?

Oh Sue my heart really goes out to you. I believe too that you have been such a blessing to others and that you are going to be blessed exactly what Kelli said. I feel that old saying "when it rains it pours" a lot. My mom keeps telling me try so hard to focus on the moment and not the things I don't know or that I can't change right now. Both her and I know that it is easier to say than to feel/do. I'm sending you blessings and sharing what has helped me in times of true fear. God bless you.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

You're right ugh! In my current position someone else besides myself deals with these kinds of worries. Just that thought worries me about future events. I believe I am a strong, get things done woman. I CAN! I CAN! Your poor nose and sinuses...I hope you are not allergic to mold. I am lol. I would be one big asthma attack. I hope you get reasonable estimates for the repair or replacement. Sending you positive vibes.

Thank you Sue...meaningful words. I hope you are doin better as well. I know I say enough about my issues to irritate anyone including me lol but I feel so much encouragement from you guys even though. I'll keep you posted how the meds are doing once I'm back on them for a bit at the therapeutic dose. I'm pretty excited!

Pam you are my friend absolutely. Hugs...I am thrilled you have a friend you can call and be you with, color and just relax. I do too.  Sometimes it melts the bad away. You're friend is wise...don't let others bring you down. My mom tells me this all the time. I think they are good words to hold onto. You are welcome and thank you!

Ya know Pam before my stroke I was a social butterfly. I loved being around people, loved meeting people, and pretty outgoing. Always have been. Now, however, I am a loner. People are loud to me and outside is a lot of times chaos to me. It saddens me to say I have no friends in real life anymore. I do miss how I loved that part of me. Oh I do have friends in my stroke support group locally. At least on stroke support group days or activities. My father gets angry with me "You need to get out and meet people. Go to a bar. Go out at night like I used to. Quit staying in that room.". I tell him I don't want to go out and meet people, or go to a bar at night. I like my room, it's quiet, calm, familiar. I like being alone which is hard when you are living with your parents. I am so different than I used to be. I am, of course, to myself a lot out of necessity. So far I am exhausted every time I think about doing what I used to do. Now you and I could color, talk about fashion, makeup, and gab all night til I couldn't anymore or one of us couldn't lol.  I suppose I am cool with pajama parties of 2. I dont think I have added to your post but added my thoughts. I like reading your blog. 

Your experience touches me. I see someone who is a true CARE GIVER. I feel as a survivor that is so hard to do. Bless you for the care you give and as others have said keep taking time and care for yourself. I can't put myself in your shoes but I can imagine and see what all has been done for me. I am forever so grateful. Prayers for you and your family.

Thanks for the positive words. It means a lot. I am hoping this next week will relieve some of the stress and that my new medicine will make a difference soon. I may be quiet for a while but I'm still around...sleep is my middle name right now. Thank you again.

So glad you are done and resting and healing. Thanks for the update and blessings for a successfully quick rebound.

I'm pulling for you Kelli and sending you positive vibes.

I'm glad you are healing and thankfully the med issue was corrected. I really hope you feel so much better soon. You enjoy the coloring  it is still something I love and it's good for you. Hugs!

Thanks for the positive posts you guys. I really appreciate it. If you don't mind prayer for my parents, my niece ( his daughter), myself and my siblings. We sure need some right now.

Oh Sue hugs I found out about 2 hours ago my brother passed away. They think of a heart attack...found in his house in the bathroom. Sent to autopsy today. I need a break. I just need a break. I need a break. I need a break.