Willis

Great to see it up  and running again!

Yes it was South Wales they were reporting on now that you mention it. I'm weak on my geographical knowledge when it comes to Australia. Sydney and the band shell there and the uninhabitable outback about covers it. Traveling there has always been on my bucket list but it would take a lot for that to happen now. So glad you are safe on higher ground and don't have to deal with this mess.

The rain is one of the stories the U.S. news is following closely. Terrible tragedy.  🙏

On 12/10/2021 at 4:53 PM, HostTracy said:

You know Sue I think going through a stroke and surviving and everything I do now to be my best has taught me a lot about life, priorities, and fears. First, I am absolutely not afraid of dying... heck I layed on a floor and vomited my brains out one night while talking to death (stroke). It makes me realize how little I truly have control of and that it is my reaction to or of what is happening that makes the difference. I am truly thankful for this as it leads to much less anxiety about life in general. It has also helped me when processing truly very difficult times in my family i.e. my grandmother's, my brother's, and my dad's deaths. I think to others I may seem cold but it is not about not caring at all. I am just at peace with the knowledge that my loved ones earthly pains are no more and are with their loved ones who are in heaven happy and ok. My faith is strengthened. Priorities has been a harder lesson because it just takes time to come to an acceptance of yourself post stroke and that to embrace that is not giving up but still trying all the time and not letting things "bother" me unneccesarily (a real blessing too). Life is what you make it even if your making it looks way different from your past or the others around you. Finding the positive, making lemonade out of lemons, a cup half full, etc. It's not always easy but it feels better than soaking in the latter. I pray for everyone to find these truths for themselves whatever they may be... my hopes, dreams, happiness and self worth are mine and we are all so different (which is wonderful) for everyone. My acceptance of today and me today I reaffirm every morning because well it changes everyday. Remember find the positive and hold on, create what you can with what you have, and practice mindfulness and gratitude (works wonders just to do this). Happy Holidays all.

 

Love this. It speaks for so many of us and feels so comforting to know I'm not alone with these challenges from physical right through the emotional. Thank you for taking the time to so carefully put this in words.

Yes this sounds all too familiar in this household. April would understand 100%. I guess I better let her read all this. Thanks for sharing those thoughts and feelings!

I'm so very sorry Nancy. I know how difficult I am at times with my wife for so much less reason. I work on trying to be kind but mess up all the time. I can imagine the monster I might be if I had to have her do that. The fact that Dan is voiding some seems like a little good news. Praying for your strength and that this condition heals soon for you guys. 

On 11/9/2021 at 3:43 PM, swilkinson said:

Love those successful moving stories, enjoying 

Iife is a priority after all we have been through, whether caregivers or survivors. 

Thanks! It did work out well having so much time for packing. I'm still unpacking however. Ha-ha. At least it's in an attached garage (my 1st ever
) where I'm working most.

4 hours ago, GreenQueen said:

Might have to read Marty McFly's book!

 

Love what his father in law told him, one to live by 

 

💚👑

😍✌️

That goes for both of you and all the participants here!

21 hours ago, alansd said:

We went through a similar time a year ago. Right at the start of covid , we both felt the house we loved was way too much for us.

too much land, room, stuff! So we would drive around every afternoon after my wife came from teaching, to look at homes.

We decided we both liked the area we were in, and wanted a smaller place there. Stumbled on a new development only a mile from our home, we liked the look and feel of the neighborhood, and toured the model home. It was love! Big benefits for me. No stairs, easy to access cabinetry, very efiicient and had a huge glass  shower with no step in.

moving our stuff from a 4700 sq foot house to 1770 was challenging, but we got it done by selling and giving away so much, things I had for years, like automotive tools, music gear and collectibles went away.Even my prized 911SC coupe. And  VW Thing jeep style.Tough to see them go, but rewarding that they would be used and enjoyed( both manual trans, not useful for me anymore).

NOw a year in, we are quite happy in our place, very friendly neighbors and a familiar Yes its been a lot more than 6 months since my stroke, 4 years this week. AHH how time doesn't fly. lol

 

We went through a similar time a year ago. Right at the start of covid , we both felt the house we loved was way too much for us.

too much land, room, stuff! So we would drive around every afternoon after my wife came from teaching, to look at homes.

We decided we both liked the area we were in, and wanted a smaller place there. Stumbled on a new development only a mile from our home, we liked the look and feel of the neighborhood, and toured the model home. It was love! Big benefits for me. No stairs, easy to access cabinetry, very efiicient and had a huge glass  shower with no step in.

moving our stuff from a 4700 sq foot house to 1770 was challenging, but we got it done by selling and giving away so much, things I had for years, like automotive tools, music gear and collectibles went away.Even my prized 911SC coupe. And  VW Thing jeep style.Tough to see them go, but rewarding that they would be used and enjoyed( both manual trans, not useful for me anymore).

NOw a year in, we are quite happy in our place, very friendly neighbors and a familiar Yes its been a lot more than 6 months since my stroke, 4 years this week. AHH how time doesn't fly. lol

 

 

Fantastic Alan!

 One question, have you come close to unpacking everything? lol I'm working on it in the attached garage (1st one ever) but it's been too hot and muggy to be out there long right now. Come fall I'm hoping to get much more done out there. What is nice is even though I was pretty organized at the farm house and could find what I was looking for most of the time there were "piles". 39 years of "I'll put that somewhere later" adds up. Now as things are unpacked and sorted everything is getting a place. Yes isn't it nice not do many stairs. We actually moved into much more house but the main floor is all bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, family room and living room. Where we picked up square footage is the lower level with the walkout. The laundry has it's own room, there's a 4th bedroom, a large finished rec. area where the walk out is and then a separate room with furnace and such. That room has so many shelves it would serve a small merchant. Built in 91 and what a difference after living in a house built over 100 years ago. So nice to hear you 2 are happy like us and you and I can ride the rest of this out with a little comfort at least.

1 hour ago, HostTracy said:

So refreshing to hear such positive changes. I think I embrace "God works in mysterious ways" more and more all the time. Willis how wonderful it is that you and April started a new journey with open arms and grateful hearts. That can really add light toward His mysterious ways. It's huge when you take a look and notice that all the "things" do not hold all the memories and that our hearts are bigger than that. Memories I hold in my heart are priceless... they give me the most joy. Here's to making new memories and embracing with open arms the memories yet to come! Bravo !!! ❣

Thank you. It does Tracy. If you like to read check out "No Time Like the Present" by Michael J. Fox. Diagnosed with Parkinson's at 30. There is a part in there I recently read. He was having a hard time staying optimistic which had always been his MO. His father-in-law told him to remember this: “With gratitude, optimism becomes sustainable”  Word!

I would like to add that in spite of all these wonderful things going on I am still struggling like everyone here with my physical and mental challenges. Same every single morning for me still. We wake up and nothing has changed. The new home has been a nice distraction but I hope I didn't sound like all my challenges were over and everything was peachy keen.

7 hours ago, swilkinson said:

Willis. A huge move but you took it at your own pace and that worked in your  favour. A downstairs bedroom is what you need when you are older. I hope you are very  happy there.

Yes you summed that up perfectly. It was mostly at our pace. Very good for April since she did everything just about. Another blessing was when the trailer got to the new home each time my daughter and some of the teammates from her soccer team showed up to unload when they were free. Thank you so much for the well wishes!

2 hours ago, HostAsha said:

willis :

 

this is so exciting, I so agree with you memory is in heart & not in four walls, & you & April will be creating wonderful memories in your new shangrila.  you got some great neighbors.

 

Asha

Thank you Asha! Your heartfelt comments mean a lot. He works in mysterious ways as we know. I still  can't believe where we ended up. This new home became available because the 43 year old owner passed suddenly the day after Valentine Day. The closing was sad in spite of our wonderful purchase. I told the widow at the closing that I knew there had been a lot of love in this home and that it would continue. I believe in all spirits and that almost all are good. I will keep his alive here in my thoughts and prayers. She was pleased by that it seemed. What can a person say to someone with a terrible loss like hers and your gain was because of her tragic loss? She thanked us for our generous offer ( we were in that real estate game with both feet, buying and selling all of a sudden ) and I feel she was comfortable now financially and a least didn't have to worry about money.

9 hours ago, GreenQueen said:

Willis that's so exciting!!

I totally agree...memories are in the heart, not four walls!

 

A downstairs bedroom and proper shower!! You are the king of the world!!

 

What a wonderful neighbour YOU must have been, to generate that amazing help!!

 

All the best as you and April settle in at home.

 

💚👑

😍 You are too sweet! Thank you GreenQueen. What a cool way to say it! I feel like Leonardo DeCaprio at the front of the ship on the Titanic with his arms in the air now lol.

3 hours ago, heathber said:

Hi Will it sounds like a good move. I hope the new place is filled with good times.

Thank you Heathber!  It has those things that will make life easier for a senior and a stroker who is also a senior. 1st floor bedroom and a regular shower as opposed to one at the upper end of a bathtub. Only 1 step across, a handle plus 2 of mine I stuck to the wall at each end.  That has made that dreaded task easier. It will be a good place to convalesce and finish this journey.😍

I know Nancy not fair at all. Mine was the typical bleed on the right brain side on Valentine Day 6 years ago. The left side of the body top to bottom gone suddenly. I was very close to a major hospital and got help pretty quick and although the damage was still devastating I may have prevented even more damage. So I do have mobility there but no sensation. I was also in good shape for a person of my age. Your help and knowledge and understanding here will be priceless. Only the strokers get this 100% but I know from my wife's caregiving you guys come very, very close to understanding. Good luck with approaching this.

Please be safe Janelle. These recent weather extremes of the past few years are very frightening. Praying for the safety of you and your loved ones. Please let us know when you are safe from this. Sincerely Willis

Thank you swilkinson. Your experience is something that helps with these things. I know Ray was very lucky to have your care. April and I discuss pretty openly. I was telling her I had posted the PB&J story and we talked about all of that. Then we usually laugh because she tries so hard all the time. We both get I'm type B and she's an A and has a bit of an OCD issues. Not especially good combination when the B is stroked. Ha-ha It's her though and it's worked fo over 40 years and I know you understand.  

Thank you Asha I have been very fortunate to be in close contact with myself and understand things about me mentally and physically. My path and treatment has been anything but normal or typical, my results have tremendous I would have to say compared to. That is the only gauge I have to go by. My wife has begun using aroma therapy in our room at night. Lavender has been her choice and it seems to have some Neuro and physical benefits I'm noticing in my left arm and leg while lying there at times. ONWARD! 

4 hours ago, heathber said:

time to get the non slip stuff under that rug!

Thank you heathber! It was indeed a no-slip and I explained to April it wasn't a rug issue. Of course it's long gone. She said it was time to replace it anyway. Here is the deal , as I was saying I was in a hurry and at the same time carrying something in both hands. This farm house has a couple small step ups and one is into the bathroom. As I took a large step forward and slightly up (much bigger than I ever should have without a free hand). my heel keep sliding away on top of the rug. I was able to set a glass on the sink but nothing to grab there. I did seem to be able to slide down the wall behind me and never got a scratch.

11 hours ago, GreenQueen said:

Oh dear Willis!!

Each day sure is different from the last!

Glad you didn't injure yourself 

 

💚👑

Thanks Green Queen. Mom use to say "Pride before the fall." Bingo!

and the next day? Well this evening as my wife slept on the love seat I thought I would be helpful and carry our used glasses to the kitchen while I was up using the restroom. After standing up I had to go worse than I thought so my casual walk became a fast walk. As I stepped into the bathroom urgently and set the glasses on the counter my right foot was stepping forward on to the rug and it slid away with my balance. No harm, no foul however. The fun never ends for us lol! 

 Not planned or given any thought ahead but while putting on my PJ bottoms I thought I would try balancing on my (good) right leg and foot and pull them onto my numb left leg. One mildly unbalanced small attempt, a reset and I did it without holding onto or leaning on something. Things were very close if needed but they weren't. 

So hard to be a caregiver. Sometime worse than being the patient. April is 65 and 5 years younger but it's not her that has something wrong with her. She's normal, strong and just fine yet she's tasked with my issues yet soldiers on anyway. She liked working too and it got her out and socializing but was getting near retirement and then the company sold anyway. We have been home together and I have been a cremudgen often and that is so unfair to her. I gave myself a good talking to and realized I had better love her the best I can or lose her altogether. I don't know if after 42 yeas (this Saturday)  she would walk out but I can surly let her know how much every little thing she does for me means to me and make this as bearable as possible.. I know your man would agree. 10 years! You are a saint.