marlen

SHIRELY,

I WENT FROM QUAD, TO A LOVELY HAND CARVED CANE, TO NO CANE AT ALL. IF I'M GOING TO WALK A LONG DISTANCE, LIKE DISNEYWORLD, I KEEP THE CANE WITH ME.

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I PREACHED THIS, BUT WATER, WATER, WATER IS THE KEY. I JOINED AN AQUATIC ARTHRITIS CLASS AT THE YMCA TWO YEARS AGO. THE EXERCISES DONE ARE THE SAME THAT WOULD BENEFIT ANY STROKE SURVIVOR. MUSCLES MOVE MUCH EASIER IN WATER, AND THE WALKING EXERCISES HELP WITH STRENGTH AS WELL AS BALANCE. IT'S BEEN ALMOST TWO YEARS SINCE I FELL ON MY BEHIND.

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PROGRESS, AND IF THERE IS A FACILITY IN YOUR TOWN THAT OFFERS AN AQUATIC PROGRAM, BY ALL MEANS INVESTIGATE. I STILL GO THREE TIMES A WEEK, AND BESIDES THE BENEFIT THE PROGRAM OFFERS, I'VE MADE A LOT OF NEW FRIENDS.

BEST WISHES,

MARTY :big_grin:

LOOK, WE'RE ALL HERE ON BORROWED TIME. WHEN TIME IS UP, IT'S UP. SO WE HIT A SNAG, AND WE TRY TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT.

I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT A STROKE UNTIL I HAD ONE. SHORTLY AFTER, I BEGAN TO WORRY ABOUT HAVING ANOTHER, OR EVEN WORSE. THEN I BEGAN READING POSTS HERE AND COMMUNICATING WITH SURVIVORS WHO ARE STILL HERE 10, 20, 30 YEARS AFTER HAVING A STROKE. SO, I QUIT WORRYING AND DECIDED TO MAKE THE BEST OF EACH DAY. I JUST KEEP ALL THE FEARS IN THE BACK OF MY MIND AND DON'T LET THEM SURFACE.

AND WHAT'S THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE WHILE YOU WORRY AWAY? SHARE GOOD QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR HUSBAND. . IF HE GETS TIRED, LET HIM SLEEP. WORK WITH HIM, BE WITH HIM, AND WATCH HIM RESPOND. IT MAY BE SLOW AND TAKE TIME, BUT THE BENEFITS ARE REWARDING.

WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK? I LIMP, MY ARM HANGS DOWN, AND PEOPLE STARE ALL THE TIME. BUT I FIGURE THEY'RE WORSE OF THAN I AM AND I JUST GO ABOUT MY BUSINESS.

STOP WORRYING. YOU'RE WASTING VALUABLE TIME.

MARTY

INITIALLY AFTER A SROKE, SADDNESS, DEPRESSION, AND FATIGUE ARE ALL PART OF THE SCENERIO. ADD AN INFECTION, AND YOU MAGNIFY THE THREE. HAVING YOUR LIFE CHANE IN A SPLIT-SECOND LIKE THIS MAKES EVERYONE SAD. BEING TIRED LASTS QUITE A WHILE, BUT THINGS DO GET BETTER.

MY WIFE HATES MEDICATION, BUT I WAS PUT ON AN ANTI-DEPRESSANT RIGHT AFTER MY STROKE. I STAYED ON THE PILL FOR SIX MONTHS, THEN QUIT, MY WIFE NOTICED A CHANGE IN MY DISPOSITION, AND I FOUND DEPRESSION MORE FREQUENT. SO I STARTED BACK ON THE MEDICATION AND NOTICED THE DIFFERENCE RIGHT AWAY. I'M SO DARNED NICE AND HAPPY, I CAN'T STAND MYSELF.

ASKED THE DOCTOR FOR A RECOMMENDATION. I'TS SO EASY FOR EVERYONE, NOT ONLY THE PATIENT, TO BE DEPRESED. KEEP THE NEGATIVE CONVERSATIONS AWAY FROM HIM, BUT AS EVERYONE HAS SAID, HE REMAINS A PART OF ALL VISITS.

GOOD LUCK. THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.

MARTY

HEY, I HAD A STROKE AND NOT EVERYONE IS PRIVILEGED TO HAVE ONE. IN MY CASE THE WAKE UP CALL CAME IN TIME BEFORE I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE WORKED, STRESSED, OR WORRIED MYSELF INTO THE GRAVE.

A STROKE AFFECTS SO MANY LIVES, LET ALONE THE SURVIVOR'S. I HAVE NO PROBLEM DISCUSSING MY NEW FOUND ILLNESS AND RECOVERY WITH ANYONE. I CANT BURY MY HEAD IN THE SAND, BECAUSE THE TOWN ALLOWS DOGS ON THE BEACH AND THEY USE IT AS A REST ROOM. I DON'T WANT TO DIE FROM DOGGIE DOO DOO.

BETTER TO FACE WHAT IS THAN LIVING IN DENIAL. YOU DON'T GO FORWARD LIVING IN DENIAL. YOU JUST CAMOUFLAGE THE TRUTH.

LIVE AND ENJOY,

MARTY

KRISTINA,

BEFORE YOU BUY A SHOTGUN, GO TO THE TELEPHONE, CALL HER DOCTOR AND EXPLAIN THE SITUATION. THERE ARE MEDICATIONS AVAILABLE TO HELP REMEDY HER RESPONSES OR LEAST MAKE LIFE MORE TOLERABLE. EVERYBODY REACTS DIFFERENTLY TO A STROKE, AND I THINK ALL OF US ARE IRRATIONAL AT FIRST. THEN IT SINKS IN AND WE TRY TO GET ON WITH LIFE.

YOU CAN PUSH, THE THERAPISTS CAN PUSH, BUT UNTIL YOUR MOTHER REALIZES GETTING BETTER MEANS HER PARTICIPATION AS WELL, YOU'RE BANGING YOUR HEAD AGAINST A BRICK WALL.

OK, MAKE THAT PHONE CALL.

MARTY

HI RICH,

I AGREE. SOME COUNSELING WILL GO A LONG WAY. AS FOR FRIENDS, THOSE WHO WOULDN'T ACCEPT THE "NEW" ME ARE LONG GONE, MY CHOICE. MANY OF MY NEW FRIENDS HAVE COME FROM MY WATER THERAPY CLASS. THOUGH THEY ARE THERE FOR ARTHRITIS HELP, WE EXERCISE TOGETHER AND IT HAS BECOME A SOCIAL OUTLET FOR ME. IF YOU HAVE A SPECIAL INTEREST, AND CAN GET OUT, LOOK FOR A GROUP WHO SHARES THAT INTEREST.

YOU HAVE A SIXTH SENSE OF WHO IS SINCERE AND WHO IS NOT. DON'T BE AFRAID TO APPROACH PEOPLE. NOT EVERYONE IS ABUSIVE. THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE READY TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE. I JUST DID.

MARTY

BAH, HUMBUG!

I'M NOW IN ORLANDO, WHERE THE STREETS, DISNEYWORLD, AND MANY HOMES ARE ELABORATELY DECORATED. I'M ENJOYING THE FRUITS OF EVERYONE ELSE'S LABOR, ALTHOUGH I DID HELP MY SON STRING LIGHTS YESTERDAY.

NO GIFT EXCHANGING THIS YEAR. JUST BEING TOGETHER IS ENOUGH. BESIDES, I "MISS" THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET UP AT 4 AM TO STAMPEDE INTO A STORE FOR EARLY MORNING BARGAINS.

MY 1st ANNIVERSARY IS COMING UP IN JANUARY. I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO CARE. WE HAVE THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL. SURVIVAL!

ENJOY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON FOR WHAT IT IS, NOT WHAT IT SHOULD OR COULD BE.

GOD BLESS EVERYBODY.

MARTY

IT'S 2AM, I CAN'T SLEEP (WHAT ELSE IS NEW ?), AND I'M READING THESE POSTS, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE EVERYONE IS COMING FROM. OF COURSE, I THINK ALL CAREGIVERS ARE ANGELS, AND I MARRIED MINE TWICE.

I KNOW MY PERSONALITY HAS CHANGED. I AM FRUSTRATED, ANGRY, HAVE A MUCH SHORTER FUSE, AND A SHORTER SPAN OF ATTENTION. BUT SOMEWHERE IN HERE, I'M STILL MARTY. I CAN COMMUNICATE, HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, AND A POSITIVE OUTLOOK. MY KIDS ARE MORE ATTENTIVE (THEY ARE GROWN AND ON THEIR OWN), MY GRANDKIDS ACCEPT ME AS I AM, AND MY WIFE HAS ACCEPTED THIS CHALLANGE OF KEEPING OUR MARRIAGE AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE.

LIFE IS SURE DIFFERENT. I DON'T WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, MAKE COFFEE, HOP IN THE CONVERTIBLE, GO TO WORK, AND SPEND TH DAY WITH ASSOCIATES AND FRIENDS. I DO DRIVE, THE CONVERTIBLE IS GONE, MY WIFE DOES MOST OF THE DRIVING, AND I'M A STAY AT HOME SURVIVOR. I HAVE WATCHED HER CONCERN WHENEVER I'M ON MY FEET, HER TEARS WHEN I FALL, HER ENCOURAGEMENT WHEN IN THERAPY, AND HER JOY WHEN ANOTHER FUNCTION I LOST COMES BACK.

SHE NOW WRITES THE CHECKS, MAKES MAJOR DECISIONS WITH MY INPUT, AND SHARES EVEN MORE OF MY LIFE. I GUESS EVERYONE'S ATTITUDE AND APPROACH ARE DIFFERENT. SHE'S A MUCH STRONGER PERSON THAN I EVER THOUGHT. SO DONNA, FIND SOME POSITIVES. IT WON'T BE EASY. I'M SURE YOUR HUSBAND IS AS FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY AS I AM. SURE I'M NOT THE SAME PERSON I WAS, BUT I'M STILL HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT.

OK, THAT'S ENOUGH. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE.

MARTY

P.S. JEAN, I DON'T BUY DOG FOOD, OR TRY TO RELIEVE MYSELF AT THE MALL. I DO BUY A WATERMELON SECTION EVERYDAY. I CAN'T STAND TO OPEN THE REFRIGERATOR AND NOT SEE PIECES OF CUT WATERMELON IN A BOWL. MY WIFE SAYS I GET A FREE RIDE WITH THIS OBSESSION.