marlen

HI AMY, I REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN MY WIFE AND I HAD A RULE THAT THE KIDS STAYED IN THEIR OWN BEDS, UNLESS THERE WAS A BAD STORM OUT OR HAD A BAD DREAM.. SINCE WE WERE ALL UP ANYHOW, WE LET THEM STAY WITH US UNTIL THEY FELL ASLEEP. THEN THEY WERE CARRIED BACK TO BED. HOW YOU RAISE YOUR DAUGHTER IS YOUR BUSINESS. THEY TELL ME AT MY AGE I WILL SOON REVERT TO BEING A CHILD AGAIN, BUT MY WIFE WON'T LET ME SLEEP WITH A 27 YEAR OLD. MARTY

HI KIM, I STILL HAVE DAYS WHEN I'M TIRED AND SLEEP A LOT, THEN THERE ARE DAYS WHEN EVERYTHING IS OK. COULD BE MEDS MAKING HIM TIRED. THE BOOB NEUROLOGIST I HAD DISMISSED ME 1 YEAR AGO. I WENT TO A NEW NEUROLOGIST WHO ASKED IF I HAD CERTAIN FOLLOW UP BLOOD WORK, AN MRI, MEDICATION REVIEW, AND THERAPY EVALUATION. I SAID NO, SO GUESS WHAT I HAVE THE NEXT FEW WEEKS? RIGHT. TIME FOR TO ASK THE DOC SOME QUESTIONS. BEST WISHES, MARTY

VICKI, I NEVER WAS NORMAL, SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT NORMAL IS. MOST OF MY FAMILY IS GONE, BUT MY WIFE'S FAMILY IS FAR FROM NORMAL. THAT IS IF BEING NORMAL IS FUNCTIONING IN A MANNER LOOKED UPON BY SOCIETY. DOING THE BEST YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO WORK WITH MAKES YOU NORMAL. WORRYING ONCE IN A WHILE ABOUT HEALTH MATTERS AFTER HAVING A STROKE MAKES YOU NORMAL. SHOWING EMOTION MAKES YOU NORMAL. MOOD SWINGS MAKE YOU NORMAL. GIVING UP, STAYING DEPRESSED, AND NOT RELYING ON OTHERS FOR HELP MAKES YOU ABNORMAL. I COULD GO ON AND ON, BUT BOTH OF US WOULD BECOME BORED. WE WILL NEVER BE CONSIDERED 100% NORMAL BY OURSELVES, BUT WE ARE "SPECIAL". FROM ABNORMALLY NORMAL, MARTY

PAM WE LOVE YA! BY THE WAY, DID YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE TODAY WITH SUCH A BAD CASE OF PMS ? WISHFUL THINKING DRIVES ME CRAZY ALSO. WE HAVE TO ACCEPT WHO WE ARE, WHAT WE CAN DO, WHERE WE CAN GO AND HOW WE CAN GET THERE. ONCE WE REALIZE THERE ARE NO EASY OR QUICK SOLUTIONS,THEN WE CAN STOP WORRY ING AND GET ON WITH LIFE. MARTY

AMY, I FOUND OUT IT'S BETTER TO SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE SOMETIMES. I'M PRETTY FUNCTIONAL, BUT THERE ARE TIMES I'VE FOUND IT'S BETTER TO ASK OR JUST ACCEPT HELP. MY WIFE HAS UNDERTAKEN QUITE A BIT SINCE MY STROKE. IT SEEMS TO EASE HER MIND TOO IF SHE CAN HELP. IT BOTHERS ME THAT I CAN'T BE AS USEFUL AS I WAS, BUT I AM WHO I AM. SO BE IT. MARTY

HOORAY FOR YOU. MARTY

PHYL, FILL UP THE CAR AND IF THERE'S ANYTHING LEFT, GO OUT AND CELEBRATE. I REMEMBER THE TIME I HAD A BUSINESS IRS AUDIT. THEY CLAIMED I OWED $1200.00. AFTER 5 HOURS OF EXPLAINING MY CASE, THEY TOLD ME THEY HAD TO SEND EVERYTHING TO THE REGIONAL OFFICE. THREE MONTHS LATER I GOT A LETTER AND CHECK FOR $3700.00. SEEMS SOMEONE MISCODED AN ENTRY IN THE COMPUTER. ENJOY, MARTY

HI KIM, SO GLAD TO READ THIS BLOG. BESIDES, ANYONE WHO LOVES CATS CAN'T BE ALL BAD. GIVE CHRIS A PAT ON THE BACK FOR ME. WHEN I CAME HOME FROM HOSPITAL REHAB, THEY SUGGESTED SOME EXERCISE HELPERS FOR MY ARM AND HAND. ONE WHICH I BOUGHT FOR $20 WAS A PULLEY THAT FITS OVER A DOOR. GO TO: "SAMMONS PRESTON ROLYAN" ON THE WEB. HIT THE FIRST ONE THAT COMES UP. THEN HIT "EXERCISE-FITNESS" ON THE LEFT SIDE. ON THE NEXT SCREEN, HIT THE "PULLEY EXERCISES". YOU WANT THE MULTI-USE SHOULDER PULLEY, $16 OR $20. I WAS TOLD BY ALL MY THERAPISTS IT IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP THE SHOULDER MOVING, SO AS TO KEEP THE FlUIDS INSIDE LOOSE. WHEN I FIRST CAME HOME, I HAD TO LIFT my AFFECTED ARM UP TO THE TABLE. NOW I CAN EASILY RAISE MY ARM OVER MY HEAD AND WAVE TO PEOPLE, (OR FLIP THEM OFF IF THE OCCASION ARISES). I'M NO THERAPIST, SO CHECK WITH YOURS TO SEE IF THIS IS OK. USING THE PULLEY TWICE A DAY SURE HELPED ME A LOT AND IT'S NOT EXPENSIVE. I STILL USE IT. MY WIFE TELLS ME I'M TERRIBLE AT GIVING INSTRUCTIONS, SO IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, MY E-MAIL IS asquared@adsnet.com. MARTY

JEAN, THANKS BUT WE ALREADY DID THAT. MY WIFE WANTS TO LINE THE TOP OF THE FENCE WITH MIRRORS SO THEY CAN WATCH THEMSELVES. MARTY

TEAL, AND JUST THINK, YOU'RE PAYING FOR ALL THIS FRIVOLITY! WHEN THEY SHIPPED ME TO THE REHAB FLOOR, I WAS PUT IN A ROOM WITH AN AMPUTEE, DIABETIC MAN WHO ALSO SUFFERED A STROKE. HE HAD A BIG FAMILY AND THEY SHOWED UP FROM NOON UNTIL 8PM. ONE DAY WAS ALL I COULD TAKE. I NOSED AROUND THE FLOOR AND FOUND A PRIVATE ROOM WAS BECOMING AVAILABLE THAT AFTERNOON. I STALKED THE ROOM UNTIL IT WAS EMPTY. THEN I JUST SAT IN MY WHEELCHAIR IN THE ROOM UNTIL IT WAS CLEANED. ABOUT 4 HOURS. THE NURSE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY (i am), BUT I TOLD HER IF SHE WANTED ME TO GET BETTER AND HAD MY WELL-BEING AT HEART, SHE WOULD LET ME STAY. ALSO, SHE USED TO GET ME DRESSED SOME MORNING AND I TOLD HER SHE WOULD LOSE THE PRIVILEDGE. WHAT A DIFFERENCE. AT FIRST MY WIFE GAVE ME "HELL" FOR PULLING THE STUNT. I BLAMED IT ON MY INABILITY TO THINK STRAIGHT BECAUSE OF THE STROKE. MARTY

KJ, GIVE UP? LISTEN TO "PROFESSIONALS"? POPPYCOCK! THE BRAIN IS RETRAINING, AND DOING A TASK OR EXERCISE OVER AND OVER HAS LOTS OF MERIT. SO WE JUST STAY AT IT. AN INCH BECOMES A FOOT, A FOOT BECOMES A YARD, ETC. THIS A STORY ABOUT MY DAUGHTER, THOUGH NOT STROKE RELATED, SHOWS HOW INSENSITIVE AND WRONG A PRO CAN BE. MANY YEARS AGO, SHE HAD A CASE OF "SCHOOLPHOBIA" IN HER JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL. SHE HAD A FEAR OF GOING TO SCHOOL AND AFTER MUCH TIME WITH A PSYCHIATRIST, A DECISION WAS MADE TO PUT HER IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL FOR THIRTY DAYS. SHE WOULD BE ON A FLOOR WITH TROUBLED TEENS. WHEN THE DOOR SLAMMED BEHIND US AS WE LEFT HER, I HAD A BIG KNOT IN MY STOMACH. SHE WORKED HARD. A FEW DAYS BEFORE HER RELEASE, WE WERE CALLED INTO THE DIRECTORS OFFICE FOR A PROGRESS REPORT. WE WERE TOLD SHE WOULD NEVER BE PRODUCTIVE AND SENDING HER TO COLLEGE WAS A WASTE OF MONEY. WOWEE!!!!!! WELL SHE CAME HOME, WENT TO SCHOOL AND HER GRADES WENT UP. IN HER SENIOR YEAR, SHE WON THE TOP JOURNALISM AWARDS. WE SENT HER OFF TO COLLEGE, AND GUESS WHAT? SHE GRADUATED. TODAY SHE IS MOM TO TWO ADOPTED KIDS, AND GETTING THEM WAS NO EASY TASK. BOTH WERE OPEN ADOPTIONS AND THERE WAS MORE STRESS THAN EVEN I COULD HANDLE. SHE'S THE BEST CHILD ( AND ADULT ) A PERSON COULD HOPE FOR. LOOK, MY WIFE STILL YELLS AT ME. I USED TO GET ANGRY, BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND HER FRUSTRATIONS. THIS WHOLE THING GETS ON EVERYONE'S NERVES. I'VE GOT TO START SLEEPING. I JUST GO ON AND ON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. SWEET DREAMS. MARTY

NO!

HI ANN, DON'T LET A FEW "SCHMUCKS" PUT A DAMPER ON THIS GREAT DAY. WHEN THEY ALL HAVE THEIR STROKES, YOU CAN SAY "PAYBACK'S A BITCH". THINK OF WHAT THIS WHOLE DAY MEANT TO BILL, YOU AND HIS SON. A BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT AND CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL. MARTY

THANKS FOR THE STORIES. NOW MY NEIGHBOR LOOKS LIKE A PRINCE. WHY CAN'T ALL THE SELFISH, STUPID, AND INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE NEIGHBORHOOD IN ONE STATE?

VICKI, I CAN'T RESIST, JUST FART, IT CLEARS EVERYBODY OUT OF THE WAY. CHILI OR A HOT DOG WITH SAUERKRAUT WILL LAST THE LONGEST. OK, NOW THAT IT'S OUT OF MY SYSTEM, I AGREE WITH JEAN. USE A SMALL CART TO HELP STEADY YOU AND BUILD CONFIDENCE. CROWDS AT FIRST BOTHERED ME, BUT IF I'M CAREFUL AND WATCHFUL, MOST PEOPLE GIVE ME SPACE. THE FIRST PARAGRAPH WASN'T VERY DIGNIFIED, AND I APOLOGIZE TO YOU. IT'S JUST THE FIRST THOUGHT THAT CAME TO MIND AND I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING. ANOTHER SENIOR MOMENT. MARTY

I REMEMBER WHEN: I THOUGHT SCHOOL WAS A "JOKE" I WAS TOO BUSY CLIMBING THE CORPORATE LADDER TO PAY ATTENTION TO MY FAMILY. I FLEW ALL OVER THE COUNTRY MAKING LOTS OF MONEY FOR SOMEBODY ELSE. I DRANK TOO MUCH AND MISSED OUT ON A LOT. I OPENED MY FIRST BUSINESS AND IT CONSUMED MY LIFE. I BURIED MY 22 YEAR OLD BROTHER IN 1969 I TOOK MY FIRST PILL FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE I WENT TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK. I FINALLY HAD A STROKE BECAUSE IT ALL CAUGHT UP WITH ME. I ALSO REMEMBER: GOING TO WATER THERAPY CLASS WITH MY NEW FOUND FRIENDS HOLDING HANDS WITH MY WIFE AS WE TOOK A SLOW WALK TO THE BEACH. DRIVING TO THE FRUIT STAND FOR FRESH FRUITS AND VEGGIES. MEETING FRIENDS FOR DINNER WATCHING THE SUNSET. CALLING MY KIDS, JUST TO TALK CUDDLING UP WITH MY WIFE AND THAT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY. I CAN'T WAIT FOR TODAY MARTY

YOU ARE RIGHT PHIL. I'LL HAVE MY DAUGHTER'S COCKER SPANIEL MAKE SOME DONATIONS. MARTY

KIM, I DON'T ACTUALLY SIT AT THE COMPUTER NAKED, JUST TOPLESS. BY THE WAY YOU CAN KISS MY BBO-BOO IF I CAN KISS YOURS. MARTY

BAH, HUMBUG! I'M NOW IN ORLANDO, WHERE THE STREETS, DISNEYWORLD, AND MANY HOMES ARE ELABORATELY DECORATED. I'M ENJOYING THE FRUITS OF EVERYONE ELSE'S LABOR, ALTHOUGH I DID HELP MY SON STRING LIGHTS YESTERDAY. NO GIFT EXCHANGING THIS YEAR. JUST BEING TOGETHER IS ENOUGH. BESIDES, I "MISS" THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET UP AT 4 AM TO STAMPEDE INTO A STORE FOR EARLY MORNING BARGAINS. MY 1st ANNIVERSARY IS COMING UP IN JANUARY. I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO CARE. WE HAVE THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL. SURVIVAL! ENJOY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON FOR WHAT IT IS, NOT WHAT IT SHOULD OR COULD BE. GOD BLESS EVERYBODY. MARTY

JEAN, THAT WAS ME YOU HIJACKED. FIRST TIME I'VE EVER BEEN KIDNAPPED AND MOVED TO A NEW THREAD. AT LEAST ABUSE ME. LOVE YA, MARTY

IT'S 2AM, I CAN'T SLEEP (WHAT ELSE IS NEW ?), AND I'M READING THESE POSTS, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE EVERYONE IS COMING FROM. OF COURSE, I THINK ALL CAREGIVERS ARE ANGELS, AND I MARRIED MINE TWICE. I KNOW MY PERSONALITY HAS CHANGED. I AM FRUSTRATED, ANGRY, HAVE A MUCH SHORTER FUSE, AND A SHORTER SPAN OF ATTENTION. BUT SOMEWHERE IN HERE, I'M STILL MARTY. I CAN COMMUNICATE, HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, AND A POSITIVE OUTLOOK. MY KIDS ARE MORE ATTENTIVE (THEY ARE GROWN AND ON THEIR OWN), MY GRANDKIDS ACCEPT ME AS I AM, AND MY WIFE HAS ACCEPTED THIS CHALLANGE OF KEEPING OUR MARRIAGE AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE. LIFE IS SURE DIFFERENT. I DON'T WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, MAKE COFFEE, HOP IN THE CONVERTIBLE, GO TO WORK, AND SPEND TH DAY WITH ASSOCIATES AND FRIENDS. I DO DRIVE, THE CONVERTIBLE IS GONE, MY WIFE DOES MOST OF THE DRIVING, AND I'M A STAY AT HOME SURVIVOR. I HAVE WATCHED HER CONCERN WHENEVER I'M ON MY FEET, HER TEARS WHEN I FALL, HER ENCOURAGEMENT WHEN IN THERAPY, AND HER JOY WHEN ANOTHER FUNCTION I LOST COMES BACK. SHE NOW WRITES THE CHECKS, MAKES MAJOR DECISIONS WITH MY INPUT, AND SHARES EVEN MORE OF MY LIFE. I GUESS EVERYONE'S ATTITUDE AND APPROACH ARE DIFFERENT. SHE'S A MUCH STRONGER PERSON THAN I EVER THOUGHT. SO DONNA, FIND SOME POSITIVES. IT WON'T BE EASY. I'M SURE YOUR HUSBAND IS AS FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY AS I AM. SURE I'M NOT THE SAME PERSON I WAS, BUT I'M STILL HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT. OK, THAT'S ENOUGH. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE. MARTY P.S. JEAN, I DON'T BUY DOG FOOD, OR TRY TO RELIEVE MYSELF AT THE MALL. I DO BUY A WATERMELON SECTION EVERYDAY. I CAN'T STAND TO OPEN THE REFRIGERATOR AND NOT SEE PIECES OF CUT WATERMELON IN A BOWL. MY WIFE SAYS I GET A FREE RIDE WITH THIS OBSESSION.