jriva

Good for you on getting the cop!! The young "lady" will get an attitude adjustment when she has to pay that ticket. They aren't cheap.

Jean

Phyllis,

I'm sure it's normal to feel depressed and sad after a bad accident like you've had. But please, please remember that this was an ACCIDENT. You didn't intentionally mean to harm anyone. You were not drunk and irresponsibility out joy riding and although the others were shook up, no one died.

You are going through a process of sorting out your emotions and in time you'll find a way to forgive yourself. Until then, never doubt that people care about you. It's like we grandmother types tell the kids: you did a bad thing but you're not a bad person. Don't withdraw from your friends here and in real life. Share your pain so we can help you.

Jean

That's really great that you got some unintended action! But you know what gets me about this story? It shows how easily they could have complied with your earlier requests, but you we're taken seriously and no one really cared about the disabled. When they thought they could get sued they did an over-kill and brought TWO. Somewhere in the city there is probably someone begging for a handicapped port-a-potty.

Glad the fish were biting that day.

Jean

I enjoy reading your blogs, Carol. You've got a spunky personality I think. Plus we've got things in common. My husband and I used have booths in antique malls, did outdoors shows in the summers and did e-bay selling antiques. We also were passionate house shoppers and spent a long time looking for a Victorian house we never did find. And we have a spoiled dog.

Hope your good days out weigh your pity party days. Or at least you are headed in that direction.

Jean

Man, Phyllis, I don't have any answers for you and I doubt there are any in the world. But I wanted to just to say that I'm sorry this happened.

I don't understand why it doesn't matter that the other car left the scene of the accident. To me, that looks like he/she felt some guilt...like they were drinking or fell asleep, wasn't legally suppose to drive, something. A person can wander over the center line for one split second and hit someone else who is wandering too close to the center line. That car had to have some part in the accident to want to run from it.

You are meant to be here and to survivor, Phyllis. This was terrible but it could have been so much worse. I would think the weather had to be big factor in everyone's reaction times, that will be taken into consideration by the law.

:friends: Jean

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Isn't that intriguing, Bonnie!!!!!

Jean

On the good side, you tested out with the ability to live independently without assistance from others. This a huge biggie! Think what would have happened if you didn't. Celebrate that part, okay?

I sure understand you mourning the lose of speech therapies. I don't know what Don would have done without them these past 6 plus years. When the insurance company quits monkeying around with you, look into the near by colleges. Many of them have speech pathology departments that have students who work with people from the community. Here the students cost $20 an hour which is a bargain as I'm sure you know. Some will even come to hour house but it's better to go in if nothing else than the social aspect of being around others like yourself. If you can't drive, Red Cross might even be able to help you out with transportation.

Jean

That is definitely a quotation worth sharing! Thanks for doing that and welcome to the blog community. How's the weather up there in Canada?

Jean

Betty Jean,

Tons more people read blogs than those who leave comments so never doubt that people care and wish they had the right words to say.

Blogging is truly great therapy.

Jean

Sue,

Glad Ray didn't have to have the surgery. It sounds like he's still got a long road to go but hip surgery can have its complications and it's great you won't have to deal with that on top of everything else. Don't forget to take care of yourself through all of this.

:friends: Jean

Hi Cam,

I'm so happy you joined us! We all have our ups and downs and we really do understand each other here, so no need to worry about blogging when you feel down or need to vent, etc.

I don't have any kids so I'll leave it to the parents on the site to share their experiences.

Jean

The magazine has been posted about many times, as has 'The Stroke Connection.'

Glad Sam is starting speech. Don goes back the Feb. 12th. We've always found the student therapists take a week or two to get used to applying their book learning to actual clients. But they all come through and general do a great job. Don's been going every semester since 2000 with a different student each time.

We live in Michigan with lots of snow and I'm always telling Don---when I'm taking him out in bad weather---that's it's time for us to learn to be old and stay home in bad weather. Going backwards with a wheelchair is sometimes the only way to get through. Life is full of laughs, isn't it, when you learn to laugh at yourself.

Jean

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Lin,

I recognize some of these tests as Don has taken them as well. It doesn't sound like this was true in Bill's case but for Don they often do these kinds of tests to develop and track the progress of therapies.

Bill, is the insurance company still trying to get out of paying you benefits?

Jean

Betty Jean

This is an incredible story! I'm glad these memories from the past are helping you deal with your present caregiver challenges. Couples sure go through a lot together over the decades, don't we all.

Jean

That's a good kind of street to live on. Comforting to know if you ever need help.

That must have been some ice storm and rain storm you had!!

Jean

That's a terrible and stressful thing for your neighbor's family to go through!!! Didn't anyone on the street have a cat? Up here in Michigan we use kitty litter to get traction on ice. Glad he's going t be okay.

I've got about 8 inches that I have to go shovel right now.

Jean

Sue,

I almost PMed you tonight when I came on and saw you here. I'm glad I found this blog entry before I did so you didn't have to give me the mini version of how things are going.

You and Ray will continue to be in my thoughts.... and add me to the list of people to want you to say "hi" to Ray.

Jean

I shoveled ten inches off my deck today so I can sympathize with you.

I will keep my fingers crosses that you'll be able to get the speech classes in. I'll bet you will, they need to get their students x numbers of hours of client time to pass the course. The college students have been wonderful for my husband. I think the work as hard if not harder than any of the licensed speech therapists that Don had before we hooked up with the college.

Jean

Ditto to Ann's comments.

Jean

Jan,

This is going to sound like strange advice, given your young age. But you should look up one of those senior pamphlets about safe driving and start driving accordingly. It might take some of the fear out of driving. I've had panic attacks while driving since my first day in driver's training. When my dad was getting older, I took him and his girlfriend to a senior driving class that they gave at his local VMD and I've been driving with their suggestions every since and it does helps. I'll always hate driving though. On the news recently I think it was UPS that had adapted one of the senior rules for their drivers---never make left hand turns, route yourself so you don't have to make them.

Jean

I agree with Phyllis. Get out and do something at least part of each day. "Waiting" is not going to hurry things up. And since you say Ray seems to be contended and not constantly asking you to hold his hand at the bedside, you have nothing to feel guilty about if you take a little break for yourself. I know, easier said than done but try to get out of your comfort zone and do something for you.

You will be in my thoughts.....

Jean

Wow, I second that congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jean

You need one of those long handled grabbers that people in wheelchairs use. I use my husband's more than he does. You can get them on the internet or through a rehab therapist. But your idea of dogging a tall guy around sounds like more fun.

Missing appointments sure makes you feel silly or stupid sometimes when you miss them for day dreaming which is what I've done a few times. But it happens to the best of us.

Jean

Even this far out from his stroke (his was in 2000) my husband always wants to go down to the rehab department to see the therapists if we're in the hospital for some other reason...visiting or testing, etc. The therapists really love it when people come back in and let them know how they are doing. I'll bet they'd love letters to the department, too.

Glad your "terrorists" helped get you to where you are today.

Jean

Your list of 'bad things' that happened are things that can happen to anyone, stroke or not. I think you are being too hard on yourself. I'll bet you did some of those same sort of things pre-stroke but you didn't use them as measuring stick pre-stroke as to how you were doing on any given day. I had to do our Christmas letter over twice and wasted a lot of paper doing it for simple mistakes. I caulked it up to having too much to do and not paying close enough attention. Things like that a common in our hectic lives.

Jean