jriva

Stroke Caregiver - female
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Blog Comments posted by jriva

    rdittman

    Posted

    Hi Bob and welcome to the blog community.

     

    I agree, listen to your body when it tells you to rest. Our new personal trainer even said not to workout every day because the muscles need to rest a day in between. I don't know if all trainers feel that way but our does.

     

    I didn't know that something like a garbage truck could set off a car alarm. Thankful, our guy comes in the afternoon because the truck itself would wake me up, it's so loud.

     

    Jean

    swilkinson

    Posted

     

    Sue,

     

    I'm happy for you to have gotten a break. Hope it won't be too long before your next one. I've never felt the need for one with Don but it's good to know they are available if and when the time comes that I do. Don doesn't have as many cognitive issues as Ray but I remember what it was like dealing with them with my dad. But I sure identify with all the running around to appointments now. They just never stop, do they! Any chance you could hire a lawn service? They are worth every penny.

     

    Jean

    slmstrokeangel

    Posted

     

     

    They do so many catheter w/stents now days that I'll bet the odds are extremely low for having stroke during the procedure.

     

    My mom had her heart valve replaced about 15 years before she passed away from an unrelated problem and she did fantasic after the surgery. She's been gone 15 years and they've vastly improved that surgery since those days when she had it.

     

    Good luck next week when you have your tests!

     

     

    Jean

    oregondreamer

    Posted

     

     

    Oregon,

     

    You've got two big issues to mourn in your life right now. Take the time you need to do that but also keep the door open a tiny crack in case Brian wants to wander back into your life someday. And if he doesn't, at least your heart knows what love is now and once that had happened, it's easier to find it again with someone else.

     

    Take care of yourself. Jean

    oregondreamer

    Posted

    Oregon,

     

    As another person who understand "furry soulmates" I am very sorry to hear about your loss and espeically at this time. Dogs are always there for you, no matter what. I know you don't think Duke can ever be replaced but some day another dog will pull at your heart strings. Once a dog person, always a dog person. I've still got photo albums of all the dogs I've ever had since I was a little kid. They leave their footprints on your heart, don't they.

     

    Having been following your story with Brian I have to agree that you are doing the right thing. He doesn't want to be involved long distance with you anymore. I know that hurts but long distance affairs are hard to maintain under normal conditions and almost impossible when one person is ill. They have to concentrate all their energy on their health issues---and rightly so---but if you're not right there physcially to help then it's hard to understand how hard it is for someone to hold on to their dreams for the future. You've become the bitter remainer to Brain that his life can never be all that he wanted it to be.

     

    It probably would have been different had you been the real-time girlfriend (as opposed to the virtual girlfriend) and you'd had a longer history together. In any case, don't let the pain of how this is ending devalue both the real and virtual time you did get to spend together. We take something valuable away from every person we meet in life so remember the positives---from what I've read in your blogs---out weigh the negatives.

     

    Jean

    caringfor5

    Posted

     

    These are all great and worth celebrating!!! Any time Don hit a plateau in the first 2-3 years they were always followed by a big grow spurt. I even see it now with speech but the plateaus just last a little longer now.

     

    You're right, they should ban that 'what you get at six months is all you'll ever have' thing. We should start a movement to invade all the medical colleges across the country and use black markers on the textbooks that say that about strokes.

     

    Jean

    cindy

    Posted

     

    Cindy,

     

    We're always happy when the 'graduates' come back to update us. It helps the newbies who think---like you did---that you'll never find a happy day again.

     

    I envy you your horse back riding and it's so good to hear the your husband is getting more independant so that you can take up this new-old hobby.

     

    Jean

    Budweiser

    Posted

     

    Bill,

     

    When Don lived in a neighborhood where there were lots of little kids who we were friendly with their parents, we used to get invited to a lot of birthday parties. So we started a tradition of throwing birthday parties for our dog complete with cake with candles, ice cream, gifts and a special doggie cake. It was really funny to watch innocent kids sing happy birthday, 'help' the dog blow out the candles, and give the dog gifts that he happily ripped open.

     

    Pets give so much enjoyment to their human 'owners' that it seems only logical that they, too, should have a special day of their own.

     

    Happy Birthday, Bud!!!

     

    Jean

    smiley_baby

    Posted

    .

     

    Hi Smiley Baby,

     

    I'm glad you remembered us here at Strokenet and came back to let some of these feelings out. Do you have a school counselor or a social worker at the hospital where your dad is at that you could talk to? Either one would be able to connect you up with someone who could help you sort all this stuff out. You need a safe, non-judgmental person to help you with the guilt and anger---both emotions, by the way, are normal under the extraordinary circumstances that you family are in. It might seem stupid to talk out your feelings but everyone needs to from time to time. If you can't bring yourself to find a professional to help you, journaling your feelings can be a big help too.

     

    My mom was in a coma for a very short time and when the emergency people first were trying to get her to answer their questions, she of course didn't reply. But the part that I'll never forget is that when she finally did wake up her first words were answers to the questions that were asked of her way back when she first lost consciousness. It made a believer out of me that people can hear you when you're talking to someone who appears not to response like your dad. It's the sound of your voice that is important, not what you say, so you might try reading to him if that would be easier than talking about your day, etc. Pick something upbeat like the Chicken Soup books of short stories.

     

    Congratulations on the scholarship!!!

     

    Jean

    Guest

    Posted

    Mel,

     

    I, too, have enjoyed Heath's letters home.

     

    I agree with about 95%, if not all, of what Tom said up above. I also want to add that I think everyone learned a lesson from Vietnam---that we don't treat our returning soldiers the way they were back then when they came home from that war. We don't make them the scapegoat for policies from Washinton.

     

    Any investigations that I've heard about have to do with how come we haven't enacted any of the recommendations of the 9/11 commission, not of the soldiers in the field.

     

    I frankly don't think anyone---most democrats included---just want to cut and run from Iraq. We've made a mess over there and we have to clean it up. It's the only moral thing to do.

     

    Jean