jriva

My niece has to have a home aids and has for years. The turn over of them is mind boggling. The good ones never stay and the bads ones you can't get rid of fast enough. I probably should have had a few in the first few years after my husband's stroke but I had had my fill of them with my dad. It seems like watching TV and "socializing" is be their speciality. Like you hire them to do some work, so WE can do the socializing when we get there. Good luck with your next aid!!

Jean

Cindy,

I can't spell it either but Michael is absolutely right. I haven't known anyone who had the surgery that didn't go through hormonal imbalance big time. The doctor needs to know about this so she/he can help. Cry your heart out tonight and don't worry if this blog will sound bad tomorrow. You need the cry and we are hearing you and hugging you.

Hang in there! It's mostly a chemical change in your body that can be corrected!

Jean

Hey, Pam, I'm pretty sure that Michael and Kathy met on line. And then there is Rush Limbaugh and his woman. It can work. Just make sure he leaves all knifes and axes at the door before you invite him in.

Kim, can't we have one more clue? We promise not to tell the guy that you have a royal crush.

Jean

Hi Amy,

It's kind of sad that society has progressed to the point where you have to worry whether or not a shirtless four year old girl is doing something taboo. We played that way a lot when I was growing up, but that was back in the 40s when parents didn't hear alot about child abductions and perverts so they probably had a false sense of security. Dad's just worried.

Innocents last for such a short time...I would have done the same thing you did, at least for this summer. By next summer she'll be one street wise enough to want to cover up.

Jean

Pam,

I'm glad you found a new hobby. It sounds like fun....catalog shopping from your armchair. Maybe we can find that guy from chat who was "looking for a survivor to take care of for humanity" and a green card I was thinking at the time.

Kim,

You're going to have everyone searching the profiles for your mystery man/men. I can't guess!

Jean

Marty,

I blog alot about coming to terms with getting older. Don's stroke made us take off our rose colored glasses and see ourselves as sixty something people we are instead of the 40 something people we were previously seeing oursleves as. We were hard workers, burning the candle at both ends and now slowing down. One thing I've learned, when you start looking back over your life, is that there is nothing as good as the wisdom and humor and sense of true understanding of life that comes with age.

Have fun at your reunion. The older we get the less anyone cares about our physical appearances, our canes or any of that stuff. We just want to have a good time at these affairs and swap a few jokes. You'll be the hit of the ball.

Jean

Pam,

I opened this fast reply intending to give few hugs of my own and then I sat starring at the screen, not knowing what to say because I know exactly where you're coming from.

It's sad and frustrating that some people can't appreciate the hours and hours that people here on staff (visible and invisible) donate. This place can't run by itself and volunteers are hard to come by, yet the critics are right there to complain. What we staff need to do is keep our perspective, that the percentage of complainers are very small...they just have loud voices. But that is hard to do when you're donating enough time to hold down a full time job and someone who hasn't got a clue of the hugh undertaking it is to run a site like this is knit-picking and name calling.

I guess I'd better quit before I end up hi-jacking your blog with my own bitching session, which I am dangerously close to doing.

Jean

Butch,

You are not alone. There are a lot caregivers here who know exactly what you are going through, what you are feeling and how tough it is. (That feeling of being alone in a crowd was an especially hard thing for me, too.) All of it is real hard, especially on holidays when our expectations are high. Things will get better but you're in this for the long haul so you have to learn to pace yourself and brace yourself against Lisa's emotional ups and downs.

Jean

Marty,

We have Frank LLoyd House here in Michigan, too. I agree, they are very interesting.

Jean

What a wonderful weekend you two are having!! Tell your sister-in-law I'm jealous of her thoughtfulness. That was truly a nice thing to do, bringing all those dinners. Glad you also got a break!

Jean

It was a big success for Michael, I think! Good support was given to those in need and it was fun for those of us in need of that, too.

Jean

Cinder,

I've got laundry over here he can help with.

Jean

Hey, Pam, I could be wrong. Like I said in one of my blogs, you can't agrue with a dead guy whether you're sober or drunk.

Jean

Pam,

The way I view what Buddha meant is that we are all born with a pure mind and we all have the ability to have a pure mind at our own will and choice---no matter what our conditioning and upbringing was/is. We are in control of our thoughts. We can put pure thoughts in our minds, or we can fill it up with junk. Zen is about self-programing your mind to embrace inner tranquility.

Jean

Vicki,

I didn't want to comment until I knew if you were a "rubberbander" and now that I know you are I'll speak. "Ruff, Ruff"---a joke, don't ask me how I got so punchy this early in the day. Anyway, the girls up above are right. Doctors have been telling people that for years.

I sort of have a similar thing in reverse. There is a certain place just behind my ears that if I wear my eye glasses on top of my head so that the ends touch that place, it has a calming effect on my moods. I noticed this years ago when I used to wear one of those plastic headbands that ends behind your ears. But women over a certain age look a little stupid with that syle headband so I started getting the same effect with my glasses. People, laugh if you want but for me it works.

Jean

Butch,

Thanks for blogging this! I laughed so hard I thought I would chock on my coffee. For a long time, I've preached that the best way to cope with caregiving is to learn to develop our sense of humors more...to laugh at the things that might other wise make us cry. I figured this out when I caregave for my dad. I was living under such a cloud of depression because of his dementia that I felt that I was drowning. To help get myself out of it, I start keeping a diary of all the funny things that my dad did and said plus things to be gratiful for. Pretty soon I found myself thinking, "This would be good for the diary" and that helped turn me around.

Jean

This is wonderful news, Cindy. I couldn't be happier for you. Baby yourself for as long as the doctor wanted you to---no cheating! We'll know and haunt you.

Jean

Michael, That's interesting! I can see now that I'm going to get by-passed in the first and last category really fast, considering I've been blogging longer than most of the other top five. I think. Love statistics.

Jean

P.S. One more comment and you're even with Kim

Oh, Boy.............. I don't need to say any more. I'm reading your mind and you are right.

Jean

Marty,

Why don't you just raise the dirt level along the fence a half inch and let the inspectors measure there? Or if you got grass along it, let it grow out and take up space.

Jean

Vicki,

Sometimes getting fired is the best thing that can happen to a person. They might not think so at first but it often works out that way. She may get her head out of the clouds and apply herself to the next job or seriously apply herself to trying to be a stand - up comedian and get that out of her system and/or fool everyone and actually make it. You hear stars say that all the time---that getting fired was a turning point in their lives. So, don't feel responsible or bad for doing what you have to do. Six months is long enough!!!!!

Jean

P.S. So if you get a new employee, does that mean I might get my plaque someday?

Hi Alix,

Glad you are getting away for a few days! As for your question about pictures, if you don't find the answer in our "help" section, send lwisman a PM. Lin is our "picture" go-to person.

Jean

Hi Stetch,

Welcome to our blog community! I don't really have any advice for how you can work more objectively with your father-in-law, but the fact that you recognize this as a problem that needs to be resolved that you've taken a giant step forward to finding the answer. Blogging---getting your feelings out in the open---will be good for you I'm betting.

Jean

Cindy,

I'm so happy to see you posting this tonight! Glad to hear the doctor is very hopeful of a good outcome. Take it easy for a few days!

Jean

Phyllis, thanks for going back to the default print fonts. That other stuff is SO hard to read!!!! Pass it on......

Jean