jriva

Kim,

If Matt ever needs a place to hide out from your husband, send up to Michigan. I think both Don and I would love sleeping with him---ah, it.

Jean

Pam

When people have held on to their anger for such a long time, it's scary letting go because it leave a vaccum that is not yet filled. You get as restless as a cat on a porch full of rockers wondering when the pain is going to start in again. You'll get there, Pam, to that point where you know that you don't have to stay on the porch...there's a whole world out there to explore. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your marriage and then move on.

Jean

Butch,

The bottom line is that SSD makes everyone wait a year even if you're flat on your back missing three limbs. They save a ton of money with that rule and the government mucky mucks think everyone can burn up their assess in the meantime. And most of us do just that. It's sad to say but few of us get to continue our current standards of living...we downsize and do what we have to do to wait out that year.

Jean

Amy,

Someone has to be the 'village' that helps raise the kids. I'm glad that you neighborhood has such a caring and skillful woman to to fill that role. I know it's a pain sometime, but I can tell you this: My mom was was the 'village' for many decades, and when she died she had the biggest funeral I'd ever been to. Those little kids had grown up and at the funeral they told me so many stories of how she had influenced their lives for the better. You just never know how the littles you might do, that means nothing to you, will impact a child for life.

Jean

Pam,

Pam,

It's a good thing you, me and Cinder don't live on the same street. We're always blogging about our individual boredom. Get us together in the real world and we could really get into some first class trouble.

I have parade envy.

Jean

Vicki,

Love the creativity of the summer festivals! Have enough fun for the whole bunch of us.

Jean

Pam,

Now I don't feel so alone. I get my pants on backward ever so often. Forunately, I usually know it within a few minutes. I usually just shake my head and change them and wonder how old I have to get before I just look and accept that it's too much trouble to change them and wear them that way all day.

Thanks for the laugh.

Jean

Michael,

You have entirely too much time on your hands.

Cute!

Jean

ME, too, Butch! I've blogged about country music several times, in fact. Like the song says, "It's songs about me."

Jean

Michael,

I know exactly what you mean. I find it harder to listen to the radio since Don's stroke because music has such a powerful effect on my emotions. Everything is a trigger. I heard one just yesterday at the dentist office that really bothered me: Sarah McLachlan's "I will remember you, Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, Weep not for the memories."

Hang in there Michael!

Jean

I want the table cloth on their website. The wine colored one with the wide border.

Jean

Amy,

As the mom of a great dog, I'm glad there are people who care enough about lost dogs finding their rightful homes to do what you did. It could have turned out the the way.

Jean

Janice,

I know exactly what you mean about missing your mom's positive affirmations. My dad thought I could walk on water and I miss having him in my life. Other people can give you compliements, but the ones you get from a parent seem the sweetest.

Jean

Butch,

Welcome to our blog community! I wish you didn't have a good reason to be here, though.

Our blog community is much smaller than our message board family so we all get to know each other pretty well here. I love your reasons for wanting to start a blog, it will be therapeutical for both you and your wife.

Jean

Pam,

I know what you mean about renting. The only nice thing about living in an apartment (right after Don's stroke) is that that had a great service department that answered calls within 24 hours or you got your rent free. Just loved that maintenance!!

Jean

Thanks for giving me such a good laugh! I needed that.

Jean

Clark,

I probably shouldn't tell you that I got a laugh out of your saying the following, but I did:

I would never bring it up in front of my shrink because he really is too smart for me ands almost always win our little intellectual skirmish

Cindy,

That's really nice that you had that moment with your friend. It's things like that that makes you feel like they have some understanding of what you've been going through.

Jean

Hi Alixandrea,

Why do 8th graders need love, you ask? Because we all need it, no matter what our ages. But you are still young enough to be sorting out the different kinds and degrees of love, like and lust. It takes some of us a lot longer than others to figure it all out---some never get it right---but somehow I think you're going to ace this life course. Just take your time, be yourself and let others like you for who you really are and not for someone you might pretend to be just to get some guy to like you. Look for your common interests and values and build from there.

old enough to be your grandma..... Jean

Asha,

The kids are within walking distance so Pam is still very much in their lives. I know some people are able to keep things together for the kids but I don't agree that that's always the best thing for the kids. Having two parents who are able to move on to a place where they are personally happy and able to be civil to one another is so much easier on kids than having them live in a war camp or worse, a cold family where people don't talk or interact in a loving way.

Pam,

Let your lawyer do the fighting for you. And try really hard not to interpret the way Kurt is acting now as stroke related. He's acting like a thousand other would-be divorced guys in the bimbo department. I know it's not easy, watching him seemly moving on so soon but this is about Kurt's lack of character...and nothing to do with you. Don't let Kurt's assessment of you post-stroke be the one that you listen to! You are so much more than he is seeing....again THIS IS HIS LACK OF CHARACTER that is blinding him.

And remember: It's okay to tell Kurt that it's perfectly fine for HIM to date the bimbo, but your daughter and son can't. You each keep your love lives kid-free until something serious as in second marraige comes along. Certainly you can both agree to that, can't you? If you're taking advice, I'd say to make it a goal to go through this divorce as a class act that will make your kids proud someday when they're old enough to put all the pieces together. Now is the time for you both to tie your legals ends and start moving on as separate people who happen to share two kids who need to see their mom and dad happy again.

Jean

Michael, what if Pam needs the equity in the house to live on over the coming years? I personally don't believe in giving kids assets until you're sure you don't need them yourself. i.e. you're dead. I've known more than one elderly couple who live poor while their kids cashed in assets given to them to buy luxuries.

Jean

All I can say is that my heart goes out to you, kiddo.

Jean

....spell it out if we want later? You gotta know curiosity is making us ask why a guy would buy a $600 ring for another guy. Is it to give to his girl/wife? Is it a loan to be paid back? Payment for a favor? Something else?

I'd be ticked off, too, if my husband spent $600 on ANYTHING without us first discussing the matter.

Jean

I'm proud of you, kid.

mom

Welcome to our blog community, Moriah!

Jean