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Pam,

It takes time for a house to feel like home, but it will get there sooner than you think. You've got a big vacuum to fill and it will seem strange at first to experience all the quiet and peace that comes with living alone. I'm betting in a month that will all change and you'll love your new freedom.

Vicki, I'll co-host that shower. I'll bet we can get the keys to one of the chat rooms.

Jean

Pam,

The parent/child thing never ends. Just remember when they get old and need your help, things will even out. Reading your post made me feel bad that I was guilty of trying to get my dad to change brands when I took him shopping after he could no longer drive. As they say, what goes around, comes around.

Jean

Hi Patti,

I'm so glad you finally came out of the lurkers' circle to join us. Your posts are as honest and compassiate as your daughters and we are lucky to add your voices to this website.

Jean

Pam,

OMG! You're twenty years out of practice in the flirting department? You're such an outgoing person and once your free status sinks in, one day you'll find yourself flirting and you won't even realize you've been doing it.

I'll give you an old lady hint on carrying things....get yourself a folding cart on wheels---the kind they sell for hauling groceries---put a trash bag in it and use it in place of a laundry basket. And for hauling groceries from the house to the car I use a little luggage dollie that I put a plastic crate in. Who says you have to have a man around for the heavy things.

Jean

What a sweet man you have there, Cindy!

You two have come a LONG way these past months.

Jean

Hi Clark,

You said you don't want comments, I guess I don't follow directions well. I can't help saying that I agree with you about the people who say that their stroke was the best thing that ever happened to them or words to that effect. When I hear that, I keep wondering what kind of a lives did they had before the stroke that it became a 'highlight' or a lightening rod for revelation about their personal strengths or their relationship with a higher power, etc. It makes me sad to hear someone make those kinds of statements about their stroke being a positive force in their lives. I'm happy for them, that they can view it that way, but I'm totally at a loss to understand that mindset.

I saw a quote in a disabilities magazine yesterday: "Don't let your stroke define who you are." This is a much more obtainable goal in my book and it's idea worth blogging about....hummmmm.

Jean

Pam,

The learned kind of creativity is hard to achieve when one is not happy and the mind is too full of other stuff to pull up the snipets of things seen or been taught in the past. This is a wonderful sign that yours is coming back!'

Jean

Alixandrea,

You've really grown up a lot this year! Your mom must be very proud. What you've written here for her made my eyes well up and I'm not even a mom.

Jean

Pam,

Thanks for keeping us updated. I hide the chocolate up high in this house, too. (Don's diabetic) so if we ever visit each other, we'll feel right at home.

Jean

Hi Cindy,

I knew you could do it! Glad it's over for you.

Jean

Ditto! -----Sorry, I'm in a hurry.

Jean

Michael,

You said "your landlord's first inspection" which I'm taking to mean there will be others in the future. If there is a tenants' union in your town, I'd be checking with them on your state laws on inspections. Don had an apartment building for a lot of years which got sold 10 years ago so the laws could have change....but he couldn't just inspect the apartments without a reason. Of course, if the landlord suspects something weird is going on there's always the "I think I smell gas, let me in" excuse which hold up in court.

Also, we rented an apartment for a 1 1/2 years after his stroke and we signed a lease with a large management firm that had rental complexes in four states. We were only inspected once, on an annual spring maintenance check of the building by an exterminator looking for bugs.

Hello and welcome to our blog community,

It's been a lot of decades since I was a teenager, but I kept diaries back then. Every few years, I really enjoy getting out my old diaries out and reading what I was like back when I was your age. Keep writing. It's one of the best things you can do to help yourself with all kinds of things.

I'll enjoy getting to know you. Jean

Hi Abigayle,

Welcome to our blog community. I must say you write beautifully. This is so poignant and heartfelt and I identify with many lines that you have written.

Thanks for sharing this.

Jean

Cool!!!! I'm happy dancing with you.

Jean

Wow! Denny,

I don't know what to say! Except that seeing these recipes, that I've been lusting over but dreading tracking down ,appear before my eyes on this site was a wonderful surprise. Thank you so much! You are an angel.

Jean

Pam,

Maybe you needed that anger during a difficult period in your life, to give you something to focus on and to wrap around yourself for protection....not as a survivor, but as a woman who was betrayed. You don't need that anger anymore now that you're leaving because it serves no purpose anymore. I imagine that the void where the anger was seems a little odd and empty about now, but you'll fill it up with good things as your new life unfolds. Give yourself time for your full range of emotions to return. I'm betting that you've put a big chuck of yourself on hold these past three years and now it's time to rediscover who Pam really is.

Jean

P.S. If you don't show up by June, Cinder and I will steal a couple of choppers can come strong-arm you back here at Strokenet.

Cindy

Don't be so hard on yourself. The tension just builds up for caregivers sometimes and we say things we don't mean. I know I do....I liken them to temper tantrums that little kids have. If you want to read one of mine, look at my blog entry titled Plumbing 101. I'm not proud of what I said to/yelled at Don but we are human, with all the foibles that entails.

Jean

Kimberly,

You're no different today than you were just before your appointment with your doctor. Don't let his words brand you! I didn't know you before your stroke, so I don't know the 'old' Kimberly, but I know the Kimberly you are today. And that person is a warm person with a good sense of humor, loyal to your friends, and you have a lot to give the world.

Two nuerologists told us my husband would be nothing but a vegetable because his films literally showed half of his brain as one big blank spot void of all that is suppose to be on that half of his brain. (I saw the film and just about passed out.) He has far excessed those doctor's predictions and so will you! Never give up your willingness and desire to prove that doctor wrong!

Jean

Janice,

Wow! What a story! I have fears over losing our dog all the time. It would break our hearts. Thanks for sharing that.

Jean

Hey, Pam, I was with you all the way until you made that "nosey senior citizen" remark. We're not all nosey! Then I thought well, heck, I am a senior citizen and I read other people's blog. How much nosier can a person get?

Let us know when you're ready for a virtual shower. I'm happy that you're getting really comfortable with the move and everything that entails. Your mom will 'grow up' about it, I'm sure.

Jean

Janice,

Finishing that painting project sure was a nice and compassionate thing to do. This is the kind of thing what keeps the random acts of kindness cycle going through out the world, people helping one another in need.

I hope your friend gets the donor bone. What a terrible shock that couple must be in.

Jean

Hi Vanillamoon,

I'm not surprised that the company doctor is ruling in favor of the people who put food on his table. It's a very common story from people trying to get on disability or change jobs. Try not to let it stress you any more than you already are and prepare yourself for a long-haul fight.

Jean

Hi Pam,

The victorian sounds like a dream apartment, if all your stars line up right money wise and other things we've discussed.

Good luck! I know this would be both exciting and scary to start a new life, but you're up to the adventure.

Jean

Vicki,

You're sister-in-law has zero tact or brains for saying that to you....and she probably doesn't know her brother half as well as she thinks she does. Try to focus on the parts of the party that were fun and did go well.

Most people as far out from a stroke as you are wouldn't have even attempted what you did in arranging that party. You did nothing wrong in leaving early under the circumstances and you know it.

Don't let the turkeys get you down!

Jean