Hi John...
Believe me, I know how you feel. I first Ischemtic stroke was in 2004 and with my 6th Ischemtic being about a month ago.
After the first stroke I had absolutely no outward signs. Sometimes I needed cane, someones I would go without. I was thinking it worked with the sun. Strokes 2 thru 5, still the same thing. Just like you feel... I had ambiovent feelings about the whole thing. I friend who a stroke about 6 years ago and he is confirmed to a wheelchair, has not talked to date. I even felt bad seeing him. He is with 1 stroke, with me having 5 and I was walking around.
Last month I had #6. Things changed... this time it changed brain around a bit. I had aphasia... I could understand what was being said... I had my problems with language... both with spreaking the words and with just finding the right words. And it really iritated me that I had all of the words and sentences in my head but would get lost by the they got to my mouth.
So in closing I feel like maybe God has given to me was a chance to be to speak, and to write and give other survivors some hope that it's the end of the world. The of the best things I was found is StrokeNet... there are tons of out there friends.
One other problem... when I write, like now, I tend to forget what I am writing about and go into outer space somewhere. LOL
Hang in there, you'll do fine. :big_grin: