srademacher

Stroke Caregiver - female
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  1. srademacher

    All Moved In

    By srademacher,

    Friday, June 30 th   My 69th and would have been Dan’s 44th birthday – we headed over to the new house with Kelly and her friend, Jim to do the cleaning and prep work to get ready for moving.   Jim got all of the bigger items done---door locks changed, hardwiring the electrical for the drip system, replacing fan light in bedroom #2, replacing the garbage disposal, and installing the grab bars in both bathrooms.    Kelly was here to get the cleaning done and put the shelving together for the garage items, but kept getting sidetracked with other jobs.  She watered the plants front and back and checked the chemical levels in the pool, and changed out the RO filters while Jim had the garbage disposal out of her way.   Gary was bored out of his mind when he wasn’t napping so I parked him in the living room, facing the wall where we would eventually put the big tv, and told him to pretend he was watching his favorite show on tv.  I asked him to please sit still while we worked.   As usual, he had to be a smartass and told me  “change the channel.”  
     
    Saturday –Kelly was supposed to pick me up at 6:30 so we could go get the Uhaul truck by 7 a.m.  I had arranged for a neighbor, David to come over and sit with Gary for about a half hour while we went to get truck.  It was nearly 7:10 when Kelly showed up with the Uhaul.   David stuck around and helped with the loading of items in the truck once Joel and Ryan arrived to help.  I had been up since 3:30 and got all the computer stuff unplugged and ready to go so tried to stay out of their way and keep my feet elevated.   Carmen arrived at 8 a.m. to start cleaning up behind us as we emptied out the rooms.  We were on the road to the new house by 10 a.m. and they managed to get it all unloaded from the Uhaul truck, son’s pickup and my SUV,  and were out of here by 1:30.   Gary and I were here alone with no internet, no tv and no phone service till the 3rd.    My cell phone carrier – Consumer Cellular has intermittent service here at the house – looks like I’ll be changing carriers soon.
     
    We ate a late lunch after everyone left since none of them wanted to stick around for lunch.  By 5:30 pm the pool in the back yard was shaded over enough that I didn’t need to lather myself in sunscreen, so we headed out back – me in my granny swimsuit, and him in a sleeveless top and shorts.  I parked him on the patio and grabbed the skimmer to clean the few leaves out of the pool before getting in.   It didn’t take me long to realize I need grab bars for myself to get in and out of that pool.  There was nothing to hold onto as I took the few steps down into the pool nearest the back patio area.   It was even worse trying to get out.   I had to get out on my knees and try standing up from there without anything to hold on to.  We need to remedy that sooner rather than later.   I managed a 40 min. swim and because I had been awake since 3:30 a.m., I finally hit the new bed by 7:30 p.m. and slept until 2:30 a.m.   I was exhausted.  Gary didn’t wake up to pee until nearly 5:30 a.m., and then rolled over and went back to sleep until 9 a.m.  
     
    While the new grab bars in the bathrooms work well for me, we still have a problem with getting Gary in and out of a tub.  The bathroom off the master bedroom is narrow and he has to turn a corner to get to the tub area – looks like bathroom door removal is inevitable.   For now, we can get him on back patio in a shower chair and hose him off.  
     
    We survived Sunday in the new house – just the two of us ….cell phone coverage was still very spotty and driving me crazy.  I did get a few incoming texts but could not respond to them.  Jim had texted me several times about picking up the ADA toilets and when he could install them.  I finally was able to get a text back to him that Monday was not a good day with the cable guy coming to do phone, internet, and tv hookups and Kelly would be here to help get household stuff in from the boxes in the garage.   We didn’t need more people in and out tripping over each other in the narrow hallway from the garage.  He agreed to wait until Tuesday to get it done and figure out what we need for ramps in and out of garage and back patio area.   Gary and I managed a trip out to the local Walmart for some grocery items and picked up a KFC meal at their drive-up window and headed home.  I also managed to get to the washer and dryer in the garage to run a load of clothes.
     
    Monday morning, July 3rd, Gary was yelling about 4 a.m.  I decided there was no point in trying to go back to sleep so I got up and ate my bowl of cheerios before it was even light outside.  I found a few more items I had been searching for in that pile in the garage and brought them in, but I’m still missing the connection cable for the printer.  At least I got all the computer cables hooked up so COX can hook us up to internet today whenever they get here.   I have no idea what time they are coming, but hope it’s early so I can get out to the bank and Walmart while Kelly is here.   I didn’t get all the items on my list when we went to Walmart yesterday because it’s not easy pushing a grocery cart and a 220 lb. man in a wheelchair…feeling it in my back and neck this morning….won’t do that again! 
     
    Things will eventually calm down and we can start enjoying our new home.  Once all the boxes and bins are unpacked and things neatly put away, we can enjoy the peace and quiet of a smaller community.  Our biggest problem here will be keeping the pigeons away, and I think Kelly had a good suggestion for that.  I have no idea why the house was designed with a ledge above the garage and the front entrance, but I’m sure there must have been a pigeon involved in that decision making process.  I wouldn’t mind if they just sat on the ledge, but if I want to clean up crap every day, I’ll get another dog.   No pigeon poop for me…..thanks anyhow!!!!
     
    Sarah
     
     
     
  2. srademacher

    Melting

    By srademacher,

    With the temperatures nearing 120 in our area this past week, we are melting in Arizona.   It would have been a horrible week to close on the house and try to move in these hotter than "H" temps, so it's just as well the closing got delayed again.   While I'm having flashbacks of what happened in 2012 when we thought we were going to close on a house in AZ, I'm almost certain it will eventually happen now, although I can't say for sure exactly what date it will happen.   This time the delay seems to be the finance guy who didn't get the appraisal ordered in time and now the underwriter for the loan isn't happy with the appraisal as submitted, so they need to find more comparables in the area.   If it wasn't hot enough here already, I got a little hot under the collar with this latest setback.    lol   Tentative date for closing is now Friday, the 30th - my 69th birthday - and would have been our son, Dan's 44th birthday, had we not lost him a year ago on the 22nd of June.  
     
    Most of our household belongings are packed and ready for the move.  In fact, I'm finding that I need things that are already packed - somewhere in one of those boxes or bins piled in the study, that now looks like a hoarders house when you walk into the room.   :)  I've unpacked several things once the girls had them already packed just to be able to fix a meal, and when I couldn't find what I needed, I had to improvise  (actually cooked a Schwans pizza one night using a casserole dish and putting slices at a time in it too bake since the whole pizza was too big to fit).   :)   And, after tossing out my old coffeemaker thinking we would be in the new house by this weekend and I would get a new one, I ended up having to hit the store closing sale at the local Big Lots store to find one and set it up so I could have my morning coffee for another week.   Note to self - don't try setting up a new coffeemaker at 2 a.m. when you can't even open your eyes all the way to read the directions.  And, by all means don't call the coffeemaker stupid when it's really not the machines fault you can't comprehend directions at 2 a.m.   sheesh!!   I'm on my second cup of coffee now and it all worked out so neither of us were that stupid after all.    lol
     
    Our current home didn't sell like I had hoped it would before we move, so our caregiver Kelly will move in here and rent from us for at least a year, and then we may try again.   It will be easier for me to have someone here who can keep up the lot rent and maintain the place as opposed to having to pay someone to continually check on it or make the 40 min. drive several times a week to check on it myself.   She can also try to sell the golf cart for me and I've offered to pay her a commission if she sells it.   She will continue to work for us and help with Gary several days a week at our new home.   We will adjust her hours so she's only having to drive that 40 min. drive twice a week and she can work longer days, so no cutting of hours.  
     
    I'm going to attempt to get a few more hours sleep before the sun rises, so will update when we actually get moved - hoping it happens before the 4th of July weekend, as I've already switched the utilities into our name and have the cable tv and internet installation set up for July 3rd.
     
    Sarah
     
     
     
  3. srademacher
    June used to be a happy month for me.   It was the real beginning of summer for us, which meant fishing and camping trips, family picnics and working out in the yard and enjoying the sunshine.   That all changed after Gary's stroke on June 1, 2004 and even more  since the loss of our youngest son, Dan on June 22nd of last year.    I no longer look forward to June in the same way I did years ago.   This year I want it to go by quickly and do not feel the need to celebrate anything - especially mine or Dan's birthdays on the 30th of June (He was born on my 25th birthday, and died at the young age of 42, just 8 days before our birthdays last summer).    I had originally planned to make a trip back to Colorado to place flowers on Dan's gravesite since we hadn't been back since we buried his ashes last July, but with trying to sell our place and get moved into a new home, I don't see that happening this year ....maybe next year if we are settled and can handle the trip.   
     
    We are in the process of moving and hope to be in our new home by the end of June.   Too many changes here, and with the new flight patterns at the airport and huge planes flying low over our house at night, it's become more difficult than ever for me to get much needed rest.   Former Colorado friends, who now live in Arizona, have talked us into moving out closer to them near Casa Grande area - quieter, different county, more rural location and away from the hustle and bustle of the big city.   We will be about 15 miles from major shopping in Casa Grande, but also have a Super Walmart and large grocery chain within a couple miles of our new home.  The neighborhood is newer homes and several houses less than a block from us are occupied by county deputies, so I feel like it's a safe neighborhood.   We will also have a pool in the back yard, so I can start exercising again without killing my knees.   I won't have to worry about having someone sit with Gary as the house is small enough I could put him down for a nap in the living room or bedroom with a monitor and still be able to hear him if I'm out back swimming, only a minute away from the back door.   I can add to the already nice landscaping in the back yard, and make it a resort-like escape when I need a break, or a swim (which for me would be a great stress reliever).   Just praying we don't run into any complications before closing and that this place sells soon so I don't have to hire someone to maintain it after we move.    I'll post a few pictures after the move.   
     
    Sarah
     
  4. srademacher
    Right after Gary came home from stroke rehab in September 2004, we got our little peek-a-poo as a puppy.  We named her Pookie and she immediately recognized that Gary needed help with all aspects of daily living and made it her job to be as much help as possible with his care.  From the early days of helping me to screen caregivers, to supervising them as they cared for her "Papa", to alerting me if he was trying to get out of bed or out of his chair when I was in another part of the house, to sitting with him while I ran into a store for only a few items, she has been there for us.   We used to take her everywhere we went and only once had a problem at a motel in Montana, otherwise she's been to hotels, malls, churches, casinos and even a funeral with us.   This last year has been really tough on her.   After we lost our youngest son, Dan, in June last year, Pookie went into a deep depression, after which she started losing some of her eyesight and hearing.   More recently she began refusing to eat and when she did eat, she would either toss it up, or have diarrhea from eating.    I struggled with the decision to put her down, but things weren't improving so I finally took her in last week Wednesday and told her she could go to be with Dan, her best buddy.    I thought Gary would take it pretty hard, but he actually was okay with it.   He will miss her burying her biscuits and pizza crusts in his bed which always made him laugh when he would roll over on one of them.   So many fond memories of her and all the silly little things she did.     She is already greatly missed.
     
    Sarah
     
  5. srademacher

    Saved by The Patch

    By srademacher,

    It's been a while since I've blogged, so thought it was time to get caught up here.   I've been sick off and on since returning home from the trip to meet Sue.   Though the trip was nice and it was great to finally meet up in person, I think being away so long (6 days total), and the change of food, water and sleeping patterns messed me up inside.   It took me a couple of weeks to feel somewhat back to normal again, and then Gary got sick.    He has been going gradually downhill since the loss of our youngest son last summer. 
    Gary's swallowing issues seem to be getting worse lately.   I think it has more to do with his not caring enough to concentrate on what he's doing when eating, more depression and less cognition.   Several years after his brainstem stroke, we had a physician prescribe a patch that we put behind his ear to help reduce the amount of saliva since he couldn't remember to swallow often and was constantly drooling (Transderm Scop).    He wore those patches for nearly six months, and eventually began to remember to swallow more often, or had to be reminded to swallow less often.    I hadn't thought about them in years until the night before last when he was having so much trouble with choking and hacking up tons of saliva.   It all started around dinner time and him not paying attention when eating.   He was getting stubborn when I'd remind him to keep his chin down while chewing and swallowing, and it seemed the more agitated he became with my nagging, the less he cooperated.    By the time he went to bed that night, he had probably aspirated enough food to fill a lung, and he began trying to cough one up.  I wanted him to sleep in the recliner, but he was refusing.   I tried to explain to him that it would be easier to breathe if he wasn't laying flat, but he didn't care.     I was so frustrated, I wanted to call an ambulance and have him go to the ER in the hopes they could help him, and maybe he would listen to someone other than me.    He refused!!   I replaced towels under his head a half dozen times during the night as they filled up with slobber and mucus,  I rubbed his chest down with Vicks, and kept the humidifier and the air purifier running in the bedroom.    It wasn't until around 4 a.m. I remembered I had seen one of those patches in a medicine cabinet, and decided to try it to help reduce the amount of saliva he was choking on.   I actually found about a half dozen of them left over from nearly ten years ago when he was using them regularly.   I know you're supposed to toss out prescriptions after a certain amount of time, but this was a patch and I had nothing to lose at this point.    I put one behind his right ear, and sure enough within a few hours, he was breathing easier, choking less and finally sleeping after having kept me up most of the night with his coughing, choking and gurgling. 
    Gary ended up sleeping in until around noon yesterday after finally breathing a bit easier, and I managed to get the rest of our taxes together to meet with the tax man when he came around 11 a.m. in the morning.   I did try to nap in the afternoon when he went down for his nap, but got only an hour before the neighbor's son came roaring up in his Harley and woke me.  I did, however, manage to get a good five hours of sleep last night, so should be caught up on my rest.    I put another patch behind Gary's ear last night to make sure he could sleep without a lot of choking and gurgling and it worked.   I have a few more left, and made a note to contact his Dr. to see if we can get a new prescription for more before I run out of them.    The only side affect noted for using them is drowsiness, and in his case that would be a good thing.  
    Sarah
     
     

  6. srademacher
    I take care of my stroke survivor husband... been his caregiver since his stroke in 2004. I do not want a job as a caregiver to others. Caregiving is exhausting, but I do it out of commitment and obligation. When I get a break from it and leave him with paid caregivers, I don't want to spend my time taking care of someone else............I need the breaks. That doesn't sink in to an elderly neighbor who knows that I care for my husband, and expects me to help her out since I am a caregiver.
     
    Over the past couple of months, this old gal has been unable to drive because of a crippled up hand from arthritis...she can't grip the steering wheel with both hands, which makes it really unsafe for her to be behind the wheel. One of her sons has been using her car anyhow and running back and forth from his place to work on his truck in her carport. He's there almost every day, but it seems she can't get him to stop and pick up a few groceries for her when she needs something, so she's been asking me if I go to the store to get this or that item as she needs things. I didn't mind doing it a few times, but it was getting to be a habit. A gallon of milk here, a dozen eggs there, a couple small bags of flour for baking, some condensed milk for baking.....it all adds up. I have suggested that she try using one of the grocery shopping services available in our area, but she refuses .....using the excuse she only needs a few items. She could also hire a caregiver for $15/hr. to take her to the store and shop with her, but she doesn't want to pay for that.
     
    I went to the group potluck on Monday night and this neighbor asked me to pick her up. She hadn't been to a potluck and meeting since last January, probably because I have been avoiding her since she expected me to help her with everything. I didn't want to feel like her caregiver when I was paying someone to watch Gary. In December her kids all pitched in and got her a really nice walker with a seat that opens to hold items inside, or use for a tray to set her purse on. I told her as long as she was planning on taking it to the potluck so she could walk up to get her own food, I would pick her up. I still had to help her in and out of the vehicle, and load and unload the walker for her, but I figured she would do okay once we got to the potluck. When they announced that people with special needs should go through the line first, I told her to go ahead and I would wait till they called our table number before I went. She insisted she could not dish up her own food with her curled up hand, and needed me to do that for her. I was both shocked and ticked off at the same time. The whole purpose of leaving Gary home with a caregiver was so that I could go and not have to deal with waiting on him. So I ended up waiting on her instead. By the time I assisted her with filling her dish and getting her back to the table (because she had to stop and talk to everyone along the way), the line was backed up and I waited till most of them had finished before I went up to get my plate - by then everything was cold and well picked over. I didn't really enjoy the evening, and then got upset with myself.
     
    I soooooooo need that vacation in Hawaii......and I'm hoping Sue doesn't need me to dress or feed her......3 weeks and counting.......look out Honolulu!!
     
    Sarah
  7. srademacher
    While I still have a lot of work to do on the relaxation efforts and practicing my self-hypnosis to go to my happy place when I need to de-stress, at least the weight loss part of the sessions have helped. I'm on my own until I need a booster session, but so far - one month into this and I'm down 16 lb. I was hoping for 20 but I'll work harder this next month. December won't be quite as challenging since we won't do a huge gathering with tons of food like our son did for Thanksgiving. It will be a small simple gathering at our middle son's house for Christmas Eve with him grilling steaks on the bbq grill, so I think I can handle that okay.
     
    We haven't been eating out as much at the casino this past month. I've tried to stick to my cereal breakfast and my fat free cottage cheese with fruit for lunch and then a light dinner. Not feeling hungry has left me pushing food away that I previously would have felt like I couldn't waste. Having always been taught to clean my plate as a child, I hung onto those thoughts for too many years. I am no longer a child, and my Mother is not here to force me to eat everything on my plate, so it's okay for me to toss it if I can't finish it. lol
     
    Kelly and Gary decorated the small Christmas tree this past week, and I will put up the bigger one this weekend. I had to wait with it until I could get a handyman here to do some work on the living room carpet area where we had old linoleum underneath curling and creating a lump in the carpet - a result of previous dining room floor installers not securing it properly where they made the cut. The work is done, so now the tree can go up. I have no plans to decorate my golf cart for the parade this year, and not even sure we will stick around to watch the parade next Saturday. If the weather is nice, we may head out to a mall and check out the decorations.
     
    Our potluck group that we joined a few years ago is having their Christmas party on the 12th in the evening, with a catered dinner. I managed to contact a friend of ours whose husband is a professional musician to see if he would be interested in entertaining for the event. They are driving over from Arizona City for the event and I will go early to help them set up. He has a 30 yr. career with singing and playing acoustic guitar, and has sung backup for Ricky Skaggs and other musicians, played Vegas, Laughlin and Colorado casinos and used to play at the Moose and American Legion back when Gary and I went out dancing on Friday nights. Looking forward to seeing them again.
     
    Gary is sleeping in this morning as we have cooler temperatures now. We've been in the 60's during the day with temps dropping into the 40s at night, but luckily with all the work I've had done on this place, we haven't had the furnace kick in too much. I might get him out for a ride in the golf cart later this afternoon to go check the mail. I'm off to do my twisting on my simplyfit board for now. Till next month...........wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
     
    Sarah
  8. srademacher

    Moving Forward

    By srademacher,

    With Thanksgiving coming up this week, I have had to reflect on all the things I have to be thankful for. Despite the fact that this has not been a good year for us with the loss of my Mom in February and our youngest son in June, we still are blessed to be here and doing okay......not great, but okay works for me!
     
    While suffering from the depression that goes along with grieving, I did an awful lot of stress eating, wasn't sleeping well, and experiencing some very intense knee pain. I had to do something before I hit rock bottom. After my visit to the rude ortho Dr. for my knees, I knew I was on my own and it was up to me to get the weight off in order to take pressure off the knees. I had gone back to doing the WW online, but found it too easy to get off-track with my weird sleeping patterns and stress eating. I finally contacted a hypnotherapist to help me with managing the stress, as well as getting better rest and changing my eating habits. I am happy to report that so far - 2.5 weeks into this, I've lost 12 lb. While I have a long way to go, I am learning to relax, take the time to wind down and go to my happy place, and eat only when I am absolutely hungry and have to nourish my body. I am planning on taking a veggie tray and fruit tray for the Thanksgiving dinner at our son, Joel's place on Thursday. I know there will be at least a few healthy options for me, as well as the smoked turkey (he's cooking at least four of them) that he will prepare on his new smoker. They are expecting around 50 people for the dinner.
     
    This past week, I finally got around to deleting Dan's facebook account, as I felt his friends and family had all been informed of his passing and had time to reflect on the memories. It was a tough one, but I also got in contact with The Alliance of Hope support group online where I can meet other people who have lost loved ones in the same way. It helps to be able to relate to people in similar situations, as I have here with the caregiver support I have received from other caregivers. I have not posted a lot of details here about Dan as there are restrictions, but if you care to read the post on the other site, you can find it at: Alliance of Hope.org under introductions - I am logged on as SarahR.
     
    Christmas shopping is started and I'm hoping to get the Colorado kids stuff in the mail by the end of next week. I also ordered me a new exercise tool - simply fit board - so anxious to try it out and see how it works. I may not be able to go to the Friday night dances at the clubhouse, but I can twist away on my new exercise board in my own living room or family room and not worry about how silly I look. lol
     
    Gary still enjoys his short trips to the casino for breakfast a couple times a week, and his outings with Kelly to the pool hall here in the park. She says he still is able to beat her at pool most of the time, even though she helps him a lot. It gives him something to look forward to when she is here, aside from her showering, dressing and feeding him.
     
    Sarah
  9. srademacher
    When we moved to Arizona four years ago, I thought we were going to have a nice small house in a quiet suburb with a pool in the back yard, where I could get out and swim while Gary napped. Because of tightened banking regulations after the Wall Street disaster, I couldn't sign for the loan using Gary's Power of Attorney, so the whole deal fell through. As a result, we ended up having to find something we could pay cash for and get into quick, after being cramped in a small hotel room with limited handicap accommodations. Our son, Dan, found this place for us in a senior mobile home park located at the edge of Scottsdale, near the Tempe/Mesa borders. It's close to everything, and most days if I have to get out for anything, I don't have to drive more than a couple miles in any direction. We were told everything here was handicap accessible, but their idea of accessible meant we didn't have to go up any steps to get to anything. The bathrooms at the clubhouse and pool buildings may have grab bars and slightly larger stalls, but they are not accessible for someone in a wheelchair who can't stand up and walk into the stall and definitely there is no "Family" bathroom that I could go into with Gary to help him, and he can't transfer to a toilet without assistance or even hold a urinal by himself - so bathroom access for us in the park facilities is nonexistent.
     
    We have managed to attend some of the Friday night socials, as long as we could get there early enough to get a corner table just inside the door. That way if Gary had to go to the bathroom, we could get him out quick and rush home to use our own bathroom. On nights that the corner tables were already taken, we left much earlier and had to work our way through a crowded dance floor to get to the exit and make sure we got him home in time. Even after the park did some "fixing up" or what they called remodeling, nothing changed as far as accessibility. They don't want to spend the money for something like that, same as when they resurfaced both pools but didn't bother to redo the steps to make it easier for elderly with arthritis to get in and out of the pool, let alone add a lift for someone in a wheelchair to access the pool. Yet, every year they raise our lot rent.
     
    With the return of our winter residents, new rules are now in place. Supposedly because they had to purchase a liquor license in order to have the bar at the socials, I am no longer going to be allowed to bring Gary's thickened juice in to the dinners with us. I will have to buy his cranberry juice and bottled water there, sit at the table and mix the thickener in it (which is much easier to mix at home over the sink because it's messy), and then it's questionable whether I will be able to pour it into his sippy bottle for him to be able to use himself, instead of me having to hold a cup for him (with his lack of motor control with his "good" hand). I've taken his thickened juice through airport security and not had a problem, into restaurants that serve liquor and not had a problem, but now our local clubhouse social will be making it a problem. Maybe it's their way of saying "we're not welcome there." I'm thinking maybe we should go where we don't have that problem, but it's frustrating knowing how much lot rent we pay here and that we can't have the accommodations we need right here in our own park. Some days it's just not worth the fight!
     
    I guess we'll start looking for better things to do with our Friday nights!
     
     
    Sarah
  10. srademacher

    Memorial Garden

    By srademacher,

    I am working on putting in a memorial garden for our son, Dan. So far we've planted a few flowering shrubs and some potted flowers and I'm ordering a nice bench and a fountain to place out front. I'll need to have Kelly paint the brick on the front of the house as it is faded, but once that's done we can finish the project. We will try to have a little party to dedicate it to his memory sometime in October or November, depending on what date works best for family and friends. One of Dan's good friends from high school has a Mom who lives near us now and when she remarried, she hooked a guy who plays acoustic guitar and sings, even has some recordings and has played in Vegas, Laughlin, and numerous places in Colorado, so we'd like to get them to come for the dedication and have some of his music for the celebration. She's been sending me messages to try to get together for one of his performances, or see if we can get him here to play for one of our Friday night socials, but unfortunately our entertainment director had them all booked up for the season already. So, I figured why not have him play here for a special occasion like the memorial dedication. I still need to check with the front office and see if we can do a block party and just block off the ends of the streets on just our block (there would be a short detour to get around it, so we wouldn't be blocking access for more than our house and maybe the neighbor on one side of us).
     
    Not much else new here. Temps are cooling down to the 90s and mid 80s so early mornings feel really great when there's a breeze. I still can't work outside during the hot days, but early mornings are good for me.
     
    Sarah
  11. srademacher
    Trying to stay positive these days is a work in progress. It's not easy to be upbeat and cheerful these past few months, and some days I feel like a real clown. You know the old song, "the tears of a clown when no one's around." That's me! But I'm trying my best not to let it ruin my day or upset our lives. I've had more than one person tell me I should be on an anti-depressant, but I avoid medications like the plague. Everything has numerous side affects, so forget that. I don't even take Tylenol unless I have a headache so bad that it makes me sick to my stomach, and I'm not into alcohol to drown my pain or problems, so that leaves me to figure out how best to deal with them.
     
    Rough weekends bring rough Monday mornings and I decided I wasn't going to let it ruin my day. I left Gary with Kelly and went to the casino for breakfast. I watched a little old man shuffle in with his walker and sit near me. I asked the waitress for his ticket and I paid for his breakfast without him knowing until well after I had left. I do that often when I'm feeling down - I try to boost someone else's spirits or put a smile on their face on days when I don't feel like smiling. It costs so little and does so much to make me feel better the rest of the day.
     
    I also made plans to book that trip to Hawaii that Sue (your wonderful chat host) and I have been talking about for years. I spent half the day on Monday, checking out airfares, hotels and rental cars and finally got my reservations all confirmed. I finally wised up and got travel insurance for the trip this time, as the last two times I booked airfare and had to cancel, I lost out on over $800. I could have used the Delta Airline credit for the Hawaii trip, but they didn't have a direct flight and I didn't think I could tolerate a 3 hour layover with plane change in Los Angeles. It appears that if I'm ever going to use it before March 7th, I'll have to change planes somewhere unless I want to fly to Salt Lake City - which isn't currently on my bucket list. lol I'm so looking forward to this vacation - it will be my first real vacation from caregiving since 2013 when I went to meet up with an old high school friend in Vegas.
     
    Whatever works to boost your spirits........just do it!! Life is too short, and who knows when the opportunity will come around again!!
     
    Sarah
  12. srademacher

    3000 Mile Trip

    By srademacher,

    We are back from our trip to Colorado to bury our son, Dan and on to N. Dakota to my 50th class reunion and to bury Mom. What a trip!!!
     
    Gary didn't sleep much the whole trip, so really busted our backs getting him in and out the vehicle or in to bed or a shower or on a toilet. Hotel grab bars for the most part were in all the wrong places for him so we had to improvise, which meant more strain on mine and Kelly's backs when he didn't help because he was overtired all the time. The first day we drove from our home in Scottsdale, AZ to Trinidad, CO ...about a 13 hr. drive with a few stops. After trying to take the shortcut up through Payson, AZ and realizing that Kelly didn't do well riding in the back on twisting, turning roads, we moved her to the front and she drove most of the rest of the trip.
     
    Our son and daughter-in-law in Colorado did a beautiful job of planning, organizing and executing the Celebration of Life at her parents church ....a small country church just outside of Longmont where Dan grew up. I even managed to stand in front of over a hundred people and read my two poems I had written without breaking down. Several of Dan's high school buddies told some funny stories and the minister had some lovely readings and the service was over before we knew it. We all went outside where our grandkids released four dozen orange and blue balloons (Bronco colors as Dan was a huge Broncos fan) into the sky while everyone watched. Then the church ladies held a light lunch reception in the hall of the church for over 100 people, and the majority of family and close friends headed over to Vince and Amy's house for more visiting and telling stories of growing up with Dan. All in all it was a tribute to Dan that would have made him proud. Some of Dan's buddies took a small box of ashes to take to their favorite fishing spot later this summer, I kept a few in some fish hook necklaces that I had ordered for his brothers, myself and a cousin, and we have a few in a picture frame with a picture of one of his fishing trips where he actually caught the "big one."
     
    After five days in Colorado, we headed north to my 50th class reunion and arrived in N.Dakota a day earlier than planned, so booked an extra night in Mandan, the town where I went to school. We spent the next morning driving around the town showing Kelly all the places where I had lived (we moved a lot when I was a kid), the favorite hangouts and the junior high and high school that I had attended. We then checked into our 3 night hotel in Bismarck, ND where we stayed until after the reunion. My sister's flight from Dulles airport got delayed 6 or 7 times and she kept missing her connections in Minneapolis, but finally got the last one and arrived in Bismarck at 2:30 in the morning that Friday. Somehow she managed to drag her butt out of bed the next morning to meet with the youngest sister, a couple cousins and myself at Perkins for breakfast while Kelly and Gary slept in. We ate light meals as we also had a later lunch meeting with more cousins at a favorite spot in Mandan, where as kids we used to get five hamburgers for a dollar ...enough to feed the whole family. Not the case now, but still darn good hamburgers. We met with another cousin and her husband there for lunch, and she brought each of us sisters a couple of her homemade kuchens with peaches and cottage cheese (it's like a fruit coffee cake).
     
    My sister from Maryland and I attended the social on Friday night for my 50th class reunion and got to visit with many old friends from high school. I took her to the reunion as my guest because we both had a lot of the same friends in high school and have always been close over the years. On Saturday night, they had the dinner and a lot of remembering the good ole days and even opened a 50 yr. time capsule, and we enjoyed the entertainment, as well as the visiting with friends again (some whom we hadn't seen in 50 years). We skipped the Sunday picnic to head west to bury Mom's ashes in the small town where she had grown up, and had a small gathering of cousins there and a nice lunch at a cousins farm. Then it was one more night in a hotel in N.Dakota before heading south on our way home again.
     
    We drove from N. Dakota to Ft. Collins, CO the first night on our way home and it was about a 12-13 hr. day so we were all exhausted. We headed out by 8 the next morning and made a stop near Longmont at Dan's gravesite to bid him one last farewell, then another quick stop at the coffee house where our daughter-in-law works, to say goodbye to her on our way out of town. We got to Gallup, NM the next night and then home by Wednesday, the 10th. Two full weeks of staying in hotels, riding in the car over 3,000 miles and eating out has taken it's toll on my body. I have booked a 90 minute massage for Monday and Kelly will be here with Gary, so I can get out. She needs one also as she did a lot of the grunt work transferring him on the trip, which he didn't make easy for either of us by refusing to nap when he had the opportunity. We are glad to be home and hopefully when we get all Dan's affairs settled, things will calm down a bit.
     
     
    Sarah
  13. srademacher
    It's early Monday morning and I can't sleep - I mean really early ...like 2 a.m. early. The dogs woke me up when they both needed to go out to potty, so here I am with brain spinning and sleep eluding me again. I had planned to go to the coffee with the cops meeting this morning at the clubhouse, but will definitely need a few more hours sleep before I go. We have the coffee on the 2nd Monday of every month, and continue the meetings through the summer months, even though many residents have gone back to their summer homes. I haven't been to one in a long, long time but wanted to go today so I can try to get the officer's name who came to our home the night our son, Dan died and stayed with me until a neighbor came over to sit with me. He understood immediately when he heard Gary crying in the bedroom and I explained that he was significantly brain damaged from a stroke, and unable to understand what was going on, and the officer told me he would not leave me alone after telling me the news that our son was deceased. He had waited while I tried calling Kelly and then when I didn't reach her, he asked if there was anyone else who could come to stay with me. I called my other neighbor, Chat, who had recently lost her roommate, and she came over to be with me before the officer finally decided it was okay to leave. He gave me a big hug and I thanked him at the time, but now I want to follow up to make sure he is doing okay, and to thank him again for all he has to do as a peace officer, especially in light of recent events in the news.
     
    I also need to contact Mesa PD and try to locate the officer who was first on scene at Dan's house and see if I can meet up with him to thank him in person. I want to make sure he is doing okay, as I know it must be horrible to arrive at a home after a 911 call only to find out you got there too late and have to break in the door to get in and then process the scene and call the next of kin. I can't imagine trying to go home to family after something like that and try to live a normal life.....it has to affect them in adverse ways.
     
    I wrote the following poem for Dan's friends and some family who are having a tough time processing his death, and I want to share it with the officers also. This is the second poem I wrote since Dan's passing:
     
    I no longer need those earthly things,
    I've gone to Heaven, I've earned my wings
     
    The pain is gone, and I've been set free.
    My Heavenly Father was waiting for me.
     
    Please do not cry, and don't despair,
    For in your heart, I'll always be there.
     
    It's peaceful here, and there is so much joy,
    I've met brave soldiers who were once deployed.
     
    There's no pain, no stress, no earthly worries,
    And best of all, nobody's in a hurry.
     
    No ipads here and no cell phones ringing,
    Just choirs of angels, all join in the singing.
     
    I'm happy now, my soul is at rest,
    Though I miss you all, Heaven is the best.
     
    Take some time now, and slow down your pace,
    Close your eyes, relax, and you'll see my face.
     
    I'll be smiling down from Heaven above,
    And sending you all God's great love!
     
    Dan's msg. from Heaven 7/7/16
    Written by: Sarah Rademacher
  14. srademacher
    Thank you all for your kind words and expressions of sympathy during this past week. We have made final arrangements to return Dan's cremated remains to Colorado for burial. We will have a Celebration of Life Service in Longmont, Colorado on July 30th and I have asked that in lieu of flowers, anyone wishing to do so may contribute to the Stroke Network in his memory. I've already received some checks made out to me that I will cash and send one check for the total donations to Steve Mallory for the Stroke Network. Any checks made out directly to Stroke Network and given to us will be forwarded on with a note that they are in memory of our son, Daniel Joseph Rademacher.
     
    Thank you again, for all your prayers and words of comfort in the loss of our youngest son. It's really been tough on Gary, and he cries out often for Dan and asks "why?" I can only tell him that Dan is at peace now and probably at a nice, quiet fishing spot somewhere in Heaven!
     
    Sarah
  15. srademacher

    Broken Hearts

    By srademacher,

    A parents worst nightmare is hearing your doorbell in the middle of the night, and having an officer inform you that your child is deceased. I'm still reeling from that nightmare - we lost our youngest son, Dan - the one who moved to AZ with us and lived with us for three years before buying his own home - I wrote the following poem to post on his fb page:
     
    With broken hearts and teary eyes,
    Those left behind are wondering why.
    Though we can't understand your horrible pain,
    We know in our hearts we will see you again.
     
    You are at peace now and the pain is gone.
    We will get through this, as we are not alone.
    You are looking down on us from above,
    And guiding us all with your unending love.
     
    As a parent it hurts to say goodbye.
    The tears will flow as I sit and cry.
    Your memory lives on in those who cared,
    And the recipients of the organs you shared.
     
    Though it hurts for now, we know it will pass.
    We'll be together again in Heaven at last.
    So instead of goodbye, it's so long for now.
    We'll go fly fishin' in Heaven, you can teach me how.
     
    Love you and miss you!
    Mom and Dad
     
    Written for our son, Dan - 6/30/1973 - 6/22/2016
    by: Sarah Rademacher 6/23/16
  16. srademacher
    With the mass murders in Orlando this past weekend, and all the bat crap crazy politicians on television, and depressing local news, I got to the point where I didn't even want to turn on the television or sign on to my computer ............it was all so depressing. I did sign on to facebook several times over the weekend to stay caught up on Dice with Buddies and Words with Friends with my youngest sister, and on Saturday I ran across some GOOD news for a change. Gary's nephew who lives in Texas has a son who plays college baseball for a Christian College in Texas, and he was drafted in round 23 on Saturday by the Phillies! I was so excited for them and can't wait to watch him play in the major leagues! His younger sister just sent a graduation announcement for her high school graduation and she has already been attending college since January at Mississippi State on a scholalrship for volleyball. She actually finished her high school credits early, and went off to college, but returned to TX to graduate with her class.
     
    It is soooo nice when you can finally hear some good news instead of all the crazy, depressing news in this sick world we live in. On another note we got Gary to the dentist yesterday and after spending nearly 3 hours, from the time we left home till we returned......it was decided to neither re-attach the missing crown or place new ones, and not to pull any of the affected teeth as long as he is in no pain. The dentist suggested we leave them alone and continue caring for them as usual and if he experiences pain, then we will have them pulled. Works for us since I didn't have a couple grand to spend on his teeth right now anyhow. We are getting ready to head to the high country for the weekend and relax for a couple days away from the sweltering temps in the valley of the sun (approaching 120 deg. on Sunday).
     
    The Diamondbacks play in Philadelphia this weekend but we probably won't get the games at the resort, so will have to wait till the end of the month when the Phillies come to Phoenix to play. Take me out to the ballgame, buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks.................... lol
     
     
    Sarah
  17. srademacher
    Gary's is approaching his twelve year stroke anniversary this week - On June 1, 2004 he suffered a massive brainstem stroke in the hospital while awaiting tests to find out why he had passed out earlier at home and again upon arrival at the hospital. No Dr. ever came back in the room to look at him that afternoon or evening, after we reported to the nurses that he was having a stroke. It was early the next morning when we had a meeting with the doctors and head of patient services that they informed us there was nothing they could do for him. We decided to transfer him to Swedish Medical Center in Denver, where he was placed in a drug induced coma and on a ventilator for the next three weeks. During that three week period he suffered a lung collapse, developed pancreatitis and then got pneumonia from being on the ventilator so long. We made the decision to have the tracheostomy done when they had to remove the ventilator as they weren't sure he could breathe on his own. The brain swelling was still pretty significant, and it took strong meds to gradually bring him out of the coma. A feeding tube was inserted and then they wanted to release him to a nursing home. I was told by the top three doctors on his case that he would never work again, probably have the feeding tube permanently, and may never speak or walk again because of the type of stroke that he had suffered and the amount of brain cells lost. We refused to give in to their negative diagnosis and eventually moved him to a rehab hospital in Boulder where he spent the next three months, gaining very little function. By the end of September 2004 he came home to continue his therapy and recovery. Before leaving rehab, they finally removed the trach tube since he kept pulling it out anyhow. He also had removed the feeding tube several times and we had to have it re-inserted.
     
    Over the years there have been many changes - by eliminating many of the medications, we were able to keep him awake more hours in the day so he could participate in therapies. We have had many good therapists and caregivers and some not so good ones. Neither his union insurance nor medicare have paid for home health care, so we were on our own if I needed to get out. Therapies were limited to the medicare cap per year unless we were willing to pay out of pocket, which we did for things like acupuncture and private help with pool therapy.
     
    This stroke survivor who doctors claimed would not live past six months is still hanging in strong. Some speech returned at around 8 months post-stroke and he now can speak full sentences, and is very good at barking commands and making snide remarks. His feeding tube came out around 10 months post-stroke and although he continues to have swallowing difficulties, he has never once in the 12 years developed aspiration pneumonia, and I have only had to do the Heimlich maneuver 2 or 3 times when he was choking on food. He may never walk again, and we've learned to accept that, but he is able to help with transfers to and from the wheelchair, as long as we continue to talk him through it. The short-term memory is probably the most frustrating part of this whole journey. I can't count the billions of times, I've had to remind him to keep his chin down and breathe through his nose when he has food in his mouth to keep from choking.........or reminded him to cover his mouth when he coughs so he's not spitting food everywhere. I sound like a broken record.
     
    I've had maybe 12 full days of vacation away from caregiving the twelve years since Gary's stroke, so I guess I average a day a year, which isn't nearly enough, but better than nothing. We've gone through most of our retirement funds paying for caregivers just for the necessary trips to the store, or doctor or running errands, and maybe a few hours here and there of some "me" time. It's not cheap to take a 2 - 4 day trip when I have to leave him with a caregiver. I worry often about how long I can continue caring for him at home like this, and other days I can't imagine placing him anywhere else and then worrying myself sick about it, so we take things one day at a time. This morning I took him out for breakfast at the casino and we played for an hour before he was totally exhausted.......at least we got all our money back before we left. lol I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and let him sit in the car in a shady spot with the windows rolled down, and he was sound asleep when I got back to the car with the groceries. I'm pretty sure it was less than 10 minutes since I shop where I can get in and out quick when he is with me. He's been napping since we got home, and I got all the groceries put away and laundry done, so maybe we can head over to the pool tonight and I can swim a few laps while he sits in the shade to watch the planes fly in and out of the airport.
     
    Here's to 12 years behind us .....doctors don't know everything.....and too often ignore the human spirit!!
     
    Sarah
  18. srademacher
    I went to a memorial service this past week for a nice lady here in our park who passed away from side affects of chemo. She had been through several major medical challenges over the past few years...the most recent was colon cancer, chemo and several serious falls. I remember her telling me about six months ago when we were discussing end of life decisions that she didn't want a funeral when she died, but rather a party with food and drink and people laughing and enjoying themselves and remembering how she made them laugh. At one time in her earlier years she did clowning and even without the costume, she could be quite the clown. She had a personality larger than life and was a great influence on many people who crossed her path.
     
    I wasn't surprised when I arrived at the memorial service that the tables were set up for dining, the long banquet tables at the front of the hall were covered with food and the bar was open with wine and beer. The minister announced the service would begin after everyone got their drink and filled their plate with food and enjoyed some dessert. We had about 40 minutes to clean up our plates before the minister began with a short reading and a hymn, and then several family members continued with readings and reminiscing about her life. During one of the readings, I heard a cell phone ring and it belonged to the 90 yr. old man sitting at the next table......he picked it up and answered it with a loud "HELLO" (he is somewhat hearing impaired so probably didn't realize how loud he was), at which time several older ladies tried to shush him and he responded with a loud "SHUT UP." I'm pretty sure the deceased was looking down and laughing at that one!
     
    During another one of the readings, my neighbor leaned over and asked me "did those two older ladies just discuss how long the widower might be on the "open market" . I had to admit that I did overhear that conversation also. I couldn't help but laugh, and wonder who would do that at my service if I go before Gary does. I can't imagine that women would be lining up to take care of him......lol I'm not sure the deceased would have laughed at that one, but she also knows that the older widow ladies here in our park are good at that kind of chatter. lol
     
    Overall, it was a nice service and she would have been proud of her family for pulling it off exactly as she would have wanted. She would have also been proud of how many friends she had made here and how many lives she had influenced.
     
    Sarah
  19. srademacher
    Mid May and we've already hit triple digits a few days last week. Today we will get up to mid 80s, then back into the 90s for the rest of the week. I think I've got our home ready for the summer monsoon storms...next month will be the real test. After the damage last September from the worst monsoon since we moved to AZ, I replaced the front windows and eliminated two of them, then just a few weeks ago, I replaced the old awnings with the roll-a-shield awnings that I can open and close with the push of a button from inside the front room. I've already noticed a huge difference in the energy efficiency since my AC would have been running full blast without them, and now only kicks in a few times a day. I may have spent a fortune initially for the roll down shades, but they will protect us from the wild winds and rain storms, as well as the hot afternoon sun on the south side. In the long run, I expect to save a bundle on my electric bill.
     
    With the weather heating up, I am waiting till late in the day to go out anywhere with Gary. The heat seems to wear him out more than anything and when I only have to make a quick run into a store, I can leave him sit in the car with windows down for a few min. at a time, but not during the hottest part of the day. I am stalling off hiring a new caregiver or agency until Fall since we have a few trips planned for the summer. I booked a weekend in Pinetop, AZ for June and we will take his former caregiver, Kelly with us for hers and our birthdays. It will be a nice escape from the heat in the valley. And, in August I will be flying back to ND for the 50th class reunion and leaving him home with our youngest son to care for him and the dogs.
     
    We have Kelly over one or two times a week when I absolutely have to get out and can't take Gary. He still likes going to shoot pool with her at the clubhouse and now that I had to get a new golf cart, it makes things easier for them to get out. Golf cart makes it easier to check mail now that the USPS has moved our mailboxes to a group cluster several blocks away (no more home delivery). Kelly is also a good advocate for pushing for handicap accessibility here in the park, since she knows most of the staff here and how to contact the owner. We will likely have her over to help him celebrate his 12 yr. stroke anniversary on June 1st. She is amazed that we are still going strong that long ...........and so are we ....we're like the energizer bunnies..........we just keep going and going! lol
     
    Sarah
  20. srademacher
    At two o'clock in the afternoon on April 20, 1968 Gary and I were married in the Catholic Cathedral in Rapid City, S. Dakota..........who would have thought we'd both still be here?!? lol
     
    We are getting a newer golf cart today, so we can get around the park easier now that the post office has moved our mailboxes to group clusters and ours is nearly 2.5 blocks away. There's no way I'm walking that in 95-115 degree heat in the summers. It will also be easier to park when we go to the socials at the clubhouse since they have limited handicap parking and closer up golf cart parking. After the golf cart gets here, I'm taking Gary out to the casino for crab legs - his favorite thing to do is go to casino, he could really care less about eating. lol
     
    Hit an all-time high on the scale last weekend after months of stress eating, so really buckled down this week and have lost nearly 9 lb. in 4.5 days, but have a long, long way to go. Hoping that when I fly back to N.Dak. in August for 50 yr. class reunion, I won't have to pay for an extension on the safety belt on plane. lol
     
    Sarah
  21. srademacher

    Isolation

    By srademacher,

    Had a whole weekend without home phone and internet - tried copying and pasting blog again without success.
     
    Will try to recap what I originally typed: Had new cell phone delivered on Fri. but without home phone and internet, I could not set up voicemail, so for 4.5 days I had only cell which I had to answer or text available to use. Frustrating!!!
     
    Finally got it all back by late Tues. around 4 p.m. - seriously doubt they will give us a credit on next months phone bill.....Ha!!
     
    Sarah
  22. srademacher

    April Fools

    By srademacher,

    The option to paste from word - allows me to paste the blog that I typed to that box, then click okay, but does not bring the text to the blog page so I can save it. I'm getting frustrated to the point that I need to find a new place to blog. This is getting ridiculous!
     
    Sarah
     
    PS _ I just tried to comment after all your comments and it wouldn't let me save it.........
  23. srademacher
    We had some record temperatures in February (at least 15 straight days over 80 degrees) and now we've hit the 90s in March already. I'm hoping that's not an indication that we'll have some record 110-115 temps by June, July and August, but won't hold my breath on that one. lol
     
    We had visitors (Gary's brother and sister-in-law) from Seattle in February, the week after Mom passed away. Was a nice weekend with them arriving on a Sat., staying for a bbq and our middle son and family were here to visit with them also. Then on Sunday, we met up at the casino for breakfast and stayed to play for a few hours, then came home and let Gary nap before playing some cards with them in the afternoon. They stayed till dark Sun. night, then headed back to their hotel and on to Sun City the next day to visit some friends before flying back to Seattle.
     
    I let a second home health agency go after only a few weeks because they wanted a minimum of 4 hour visits and the caregiver only wanted to work about 1.5-2 hr., then sit on his butt in front of the t.v. as opposed to doing light housework. He even left one day for nearly an hour to go get himself a snack at a Subway, on our time. He was upset that I was letting him go, so I suspect he had something to do with plugging toilets with wet wipes, but can't prove it. Anyhow, my plumbing bill ran nearly $200 to have the system snaked and the plumber said it was a combination of wet wipes and possibly tampons (which could have been the previous female caregiver). Sooooooooo frustrating having to train people, and then stand over them to get them to work and not destroy your home. Taking a break for a while and occasionally having Kelly return for a few hours a week if I absolutely must get out.
     
    I made my plans for the class reunion trip to ND in August and got my airline reservations booked. Our youngest son, Dan can take off work for 4 days to sit with Gary and we may have Kelly stop in for a few hours to help out that week. My sister from Maryland will go with me and we will attend the Fri. and Sat. events that weekend, and skip the picnic on Sunday in order to drive to Mom's ceremony to bury her ashes near Gma and Gpa in the small town where she was born. My youngest sister from Seattle and her hubby will drive out with Mom's ashes in their motorhome and meet us there, and we will likely have a small gathering with cousins in the area afterward.
     
    Sarah
  24. srademacher

    Mom is at Peace

    By srademacher,

    Just a quick update from my last blog - Mom was set up with hospice on Sat. and passed away peacefully late last night after sleeping most of the day. Two sisters are there to handle last min. details and clean out her room at the nursing home. I had debated whether or not I should try to fly out, but would not have made it in time anyhow. Sisters will likely meet up later this summer in N.Dak. to take care of her ashes as per her wishes. Thanks for thoughts and prayers.
     
    Sarah
  25. srademacher

    Sleepless Nights

    By srademacher,

    Too much going on in our lives right now and the brain doesn't want to shut off at night so I'm really needing some sleep. A cousin was diagnosed on Jan. 15 with leukemia and had started chemo within days of diagnosis, but it's now tearing him up inside. Nobody seems to know how long he had it before the diagnosis. He was moved to ICU, had been hooked up to all kinds of machines and has now been taken off most of them while they wait for him to expire. He is 62 years old and has a 12 yr. old daughter. I think that's why he had chosen to try to fight it, but the cancer is winning out. His older sister, who lives near us in AZ during the winter months flew out to be with him as well as the youngest sister from N.Dak. They are all there at his bedside.
     
    Mom's situation with falling and breaking her ankle in three places has gone from bad to worse. Dr. doesn't want to do surgery at her age (91) and with her other health issues, so he splinted it and she has been bedridden since. Pain meds are making her goofy - yesterday she was in another world, not aware of who was there to visit and speaking only in German so nobody understood her. She is also having some issues that lead them to believe her cancer is back (she has been in remission for over 10 years). Further testing is needed and comfort care may be next. It's difficult being so far away and having to rely on information from my sisters who are there to help out. Mom was moved permanently from the assisted living facility as she is now considered at least a 2 person transfer.
     
    We started our new home health agency this week and when the CNA arrived on Tuesday I was so happy to see a tall, strong young man who could handle Gary. My neighbor's new roommate, who was a physical/occupational therapist before he became disabled back around 2000 wanted to come over and go over some things that they could do to work with Gary's trunk control and motor control so we would have less strain on our bodies handling him. He was here for the first three hours, but I felt it was somewhat distracting for the new aid as I was trying to show him the routine of getting Gary up, showered, dressed and fed. I was talking to the older neighbor tonight and she asked if I wanted Dave over here tomorrow and I told her "probably not" as I wanted the new CNA to get familiar with actually doing the work as opposed to standing and listening to what should be done. She said "okay, I'll tell him he's not welcome." Wow - what a slam! That wasn't what I said - I just want the CNA to have time to get familiar with Gary and his needs before he starts worrying about what kind of pt or ot he's going to be doing with him. Since I am the one paying for the agency, I don't want to be doing all the work when the whole purpose of having an aid here is for me to be able to get out.
     
    So far the best part of this week is that we got our taxes done early and don't owe any money. Since medicare doesn't pay for sh** , I had a lot of medical deductions which helped considerably. I'm going to take an Aleve and go to bed now, and hope I can get at least a good 6 hr. sleep if not more.
     
    Sarah