srademacher

You mentioned that no one in this case has "power of attorney." If that is the case, I would get that power of attorney and make the decisions that were suggested by the Elder Care Attorney. If the rest of the family doesn't want to step up to the plate, they have no business making decisions on her behalf. If it's all in your lap to do so, you do what is best for the Grandma, yourself and your family and if any of them disagree or question it because they may not get their full inheritance, you remind them who did all the work caring for Grandma. Your local senior center may have power of attorney forms, or you may be able to get them online by searching through google. If you can't find one, PM me and I can forward one via email to you. You probably need both a regular Power of Attorney for financial and legal issues and a Durable Medical Power of Attorney to make healthcare decisions on her behalf. Without either of those, you could run into real problems with the rest of the family.

Sarah

I have to agree completely with what Annie has said. I, too, have been in the position of being judged for not spending enough time at the hospital when my husband was in ICU. I was operating on exhaustion levels and even got lost trying to drive home one day. I feared that I would pass out behind the wheel of my car and injure someone if I didn't get some much needed rest. As a result of taking some time for myself so that I could be there in the long run for my husband, I was judged to the point that a social worker was called in to question my intentions. Totally ridiculous!!!!! And those same family members who judged me, are the ones who don't come around very often to see my husband now that he is 2.5 yrs. post-stroke.

Please remember that your Mother is much older than you and the stress of all this is probably taking a worse tole on her than you could ever imagine, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Give her some space and have faith that in the long run she will be much more able to take care of your Father if she is able to take care of herself.

Sarah

My job as a major caregiver is still ahead of me since hubby --age 56 -- had a major brain stem stroke on June 1st, spent 2 weeks in Critical Care on ventilator in drug-induced coma, has trachea tube to help him breathe and feeding tube in stomach, and was just released to an acute care rehab facility on June 23rd. I see a total stranger in my husband's body, and most of the time am unsure if he even knows who I am. Each day is one step forward and two backward, but I'm in it for the long haul.....he took care of me and our sons for 36 years and whatever it takes, we will be there for him. I was fortunate that my oldest son had some medical knowledge and within two days of hubby's stroke he bought me a Stroke Recovery Book and insisted that I read it .....knowing and understanding what has happened to him helps me to understand what I need to do to help him in his recovery. I know I can't do it alone, but I have faith that the good Lord won't give me anything I can't handle; and I am hoping that by joining this group I can learn and understand more of what I will be dealing with in the days ahead. I also hope that I can be a source of encouragement for others going through the same thing, even if it's only to give a ((((((((((((hug))))))))))) when needed. Hang in there people....we need each other!!

Sarah