srademacher

I will check in my basement today and see if I have the other communication boards that my son made when Gary was in rehab. If I find them, I will PM you to see if I can drop them off next week when I get out on Mon. or Tues. Sarah

Betty Jean, Reading the first part of your blog took me back to high school when one of my best friends was struck by a car while walking to school and had a serious head injury. I remember after weeks in the hospital and rehab when she returned to school and I helped to carry her books from class to class how difficult it was for her to remember alot of things. We are all here for a reason, we have a purpose in life and sometimes it takes years to fulfill that purpose. Maybe your experience years ago prepared you for your present caregiver role. I'm sure your husband is very thankful that you are still here with him. Sarah

Sue, Thank you for updating us in your blog. You and Ray have been on our minds and in our prayers daily. I update Gary daily on what's going on with the stroke survivors and caregivers on the this board, and he asks about you and Ray often. Take care, my friend, and know that we are all here for you. Sarah

wtg Vicki, When you get all these financial courses down pat, you can help me do my taxes. LOL Sarah

Kim, I'm so sorry you lost your Dad, but glad that you were able to be with him when he passed on. I think about you and Chris often and have been wondering how things were going. We will continue to keep you in our prayers. Sarah

Sue, While Ray is in the hospital, you need to take some time for yourself to help you relax and deal with what's going on right now. Can you arrange an hour for yourself to schedule a deep tissue massage?? That should help you to relax for a while. I can tell you from personal experience, as I just had one (long overdue) last week that helped me more than all my chiropractic visits combined. Sarah

Sue, I'm so sorry you're having a bad couple of days. Ray is lucky he doesn't have to live with me, as Gary could tell you when he complains about anything too often, I make him repeat my favorite three words: "Get over it!" LOL Sarah

Amy, Congratulations! I had to get a new one just a few months ago also and I know how nice it is to have a quiet one (our old one was squeaking so loudly you couldn't hear yourself think!). Sarah

I have to agree completely with what Annie has said. I, too, have been in the position of being judged for not spending enough time at the hospital when my husband was in ICU. I was operating on exhaustion levels and even got lost trying to drive home one day. I feared that I would pass out behind the wheel of my car and injure someone if I didn't get some much needed rest. As a result of taking some time for myself so that I could be there in the long run for my husband, I was judged to the point that a social worker was called in to question my intentions. Totally ridiculous!!!!! And those same family members who judged me, are the ones who don't come around very often to see my husband now that he is 2.5 yrs. post-stroke. Please remember that your Mother is much older than you and the stress of all this is probably taking a worse tole on her than you could ever imagine, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Give her some space and have faith that in the long run she will be much more able to take care of your Father if she is able to take care of herself. Sarah

Sue, I'm happy for you that you got your much needed break, and I know how difficult it must be to get back into the routine again. I hope the break helped you to regroup and hang in there for the tough tasks at hand. Sarah

Annie, I've cooked many a Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, but don't think I've ever busted my buns to do it. I usually plan to cook the meat, potatoes & gravy and maybe sweet potatoes and let the rest bring the salad, veggie dish, dinner rolls and dessert. If they don't show up with the extras, we eat meat and potatoes. LOL I'm glad you are planning a nice Thanksgiving with family. This will be our first with the boys at our house since Gary's stroke. I don't plan to stress out over it, just take things as they come and enjoy the day! Sarah

Sue, Welcome back, glad you had a good time with family. Enjoy the rest of your respite time off! Sarah

Sue, I sometimes think the paper wars are much more difficult than dealing with stroke recovery. I'm going through somewhat similar experience right now with Gary switching to medicare next month and keeping his union insurance as a supplemental policy to medicare. I don't get much cooperation when I call with questions and I get so frustrated with answering machines as opposed to talking to a live person on the other end of the line. Sarah

I'm glad your son will be able to go home next week. It will not be an easy task but remember that progress still takes place long after stroke - even with brainstem stroke. Unfortunately, with brainstem stroke it seems there are so many more areas to deal with in recovery - speech, swallowing, balance, motor control, etc. It makes for a bumpier road during recovery but it still happens. Patience and persistence are the key - keep up the therapies and good luck to you all. Sarah

Happy Third Anniversary of surviving a stroke!!!!! May you have many, many more! Sarah

Sue, I also understand how frustrating those phone calls can be. We had attorneys here the past two days taking depositions and even after seeing Gary on the first day, they were determined to come back on Tues. and depose him. He can't talk well enough for most people to understand, but we had to let them do what they asked. They spent 35 min. setting up video and audio for the deposition, my sister and I helped him to the basement where we had the room all set up, and his deposition lasted all of five minutes.........most of that time was the lawyer slowly asking him a question and getting frustrated because he couldn't understand his answer. Gary finally started to cry because he realized they didn't understand his answers, and the attorney finally "GOT IT." I think the man was actually fighting back tears when he finally asked to "go off the record and end the session." Sarah

I remember feeling that way in the beginning also. It took forever for the social security disability to start (nearly 5 months) and we couldn't apply for the disability retirement until we had received the award letter from ssdi, and then that took months to kick in. I had to sell the boat, and Gary's truck that he had just purchased a few months earlier. I had to barter some of his hunting stuff in order to get chiropractic adjustments as the lifting and pushing him in the wheelchair was killing my back. Somehow we managed, we took it one day at a time and we didn't have to move into a cardboard box. I've borrowed off the house so many times that our mortgage is now triple what it was before the stroke, but so far we're still making the payments. It will get better.......I promise!!! Sarah

Kewl - I'm so excited for you. Have a great trip and don't forget to post pics of the new baby in the gallery! Congratulations, Auntie!!! Sarah

I've often asked myself the question? If I had any idea beforehand how difficult this job would be, would I have taken it upon myself? The answer is always "YES." And, I'm sure in your case you would say the same. We learn as caregivers to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps, dust off all the negatives, and go on caring for our loved ones - one day at a time. You will find the long-term rewards are well worth it. Your mother is very lucky to have a daughter who cares so much for her; but please remember to take some time for yourself. I know that's always easier said than done, but very necessary for you. Take care ((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) Sarah

Wow, after reading your blog, I'm really glad I didn't get that camper earlier this summer. I am thinking when I'm ready to go camping it will be me with a tent and leave Gary home with a sitter.........maybe just an overnighter to start. With all the trips that we have taken since Gary's stroke, I find more and more challenges with each one and ask myself over and over again "are you crazy?" But, when I think of having to sit home day after day and never go anywhere because it's too difficult, I know I have to go again no matter how challenging it becomes. It seems we push ourselves to the limits, get home long enough to recuperate and then go again. We try hard to keep life as close to our "old" normal as possible, but that is a very tough job. Hope you're recuperating and planning your next trip to a day spa just for you!!!! Sarah

Ken, Have you tried using an ankle wrap that you wrap around your leg and down across the front end of your foot to hold it up when you're walking? We use a similar wrap on Gary's ankle when we walk him in the pool as it keeps him from dragging his toes and scraping them in the pool. He usually wears an AFO brace when we're not walking in the pool. Sarah

Sue, Isn't it amazing how the nasty strokes not only disable the person having the stroke, but also the caregiver who loses their ability to function normally as long as they are caring for the survivor? I cried when I read your blog as I can relate all too well how it feels to lose that ability. I still have days when I wake up and think today will be different, but it's always the same sh**t, different day!!!! Sarah