srademacher

Debbie, My Dad had two surviving children from his first marriage that he had talked about for years. They never wanted anything to do with him since their mother remarried and their stepdad raised them. One year when my Dad had traveled back to N.Dak. with his brother to visit my grandparents graves they pulled into a gas station to get gas. A young man who looked very much like my Dad's oldest son when he was younger, came out to pump the gas. My Dad asked him his name and sure enough he was my Dad's grandson. My Dad told him who he was, and I'm sure it shocked the heck out of the poor kid if his parents had never told him that his Dad had a REAL father somewhere. About a year before my Dad passed away I was trying to get things in order, knowing that he probably wouldn't last much longer. I contacted my Dad's son from his first marriage to ask him if they (he and his sister) would want to be listed in Dad's obituary and he said "NO." They didn't want any part of him as he hadn't raised them so they didn't think of him as their Dad, and he also did not care to be notified when he died. I thought that was so sad, but abided by his wishes when Dad died. Sarah

Sue, I'm glad you at least enjoyed the first four days of your holiday. The only solution to the access problems is to continue to educate hotels, motels, restaurants, and all others in the travel industry that they need to accommodate the disabled. I can't see that happening if the disabled are stuck at home. We're getting ready for another adventure the first week in March, and as difficult as I know it will be to get Gary out to fly to Phoenix, pick up a rental car and drive to Sedona, AZ and stay at a resort there, I'm prepared to speak up and ask for what he needs to be able to enjoy the trip. Who knows how many more chances we'll have to travel? We don't sit around waiting for a miracle cure to do what we planned to do when we retired .....and that was to travel. Sarah

Thanks for the reminder..........I need to shop for a new purse also. Mine got so weighed down last week when I won money at the casino, it actually broke the strap. Imagine That!!!! :roflmao: I took Gary up for the day to get away from the crying at home, and we came home $1,000 ahead. I think I can afford a new purse! Sarah

Sue, Give yourself a break, my friend. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. You've done all you can and the rest is up to him. Please don't let the thickened liquids hold you back. Gary and I go out to eat all the time and he's been on thickened liquids since before the feeding tube came out last March. We either take an 8 oz. bottle already thickened or I take the powdered thickener along and add it to whatever he drinks at the restaurant. I have one of those cute little insulated covers for the water bottle. When the waitress asks what we'd like to drink, I order my iced tea with lemon and tell them I already have his thickened juice with me, but he needs just a small glass with ice, then I pour the thickened juice onto the ice so he can drink it cold. I've never had a problem with it, even when we took him to a casino where you're not allowed to bring in any drinks. Sarah

Keep up the good work! Congratulations on making it to the two year anniversary and we look forward to seeing your posts for many more anniversaries to come. Sarah

I think I'd take the chicken pox over a hangover any day! Sarah

Sue, Hang in there, my friend, it's just over a month until Valentine's Day. Time to take down the Christmas decorations and put up the hearts and flowers. Sarah

Stan, You've got the right attitude. Last year I was in a real funk and wouldn't bring a single Christmas decoration up from the basement. This year we've had so many improvements, I'm ready to celebrate the birthday of the one who helped to make it all possible. I might even bake him a birthday cake. Sarah

The day I heard one of Gary's aides cussing him out with a nasty tone of voice, was her last day on the job. I told her "I will call you if I need you again, but I think we'll be doing okay for a while." I didn't have to explain why I didn't want her back; she knew I heard her raising her voice. She also knew she had lied to me about doing his exercises. Before you have another aide in the house, explain to them what you will or will not tolerate. Good luck, Kim. I know how difficult it is to find good, caring, reliable help. I have to go out in 8 degree weather today, so have a friend who will sit with Gary while I run pick up the aide, who doesn't have a car. It costs me $15/hr. just to go get groceries and run a few errands and all she can do is sit with him and watch t.v. She can't transfer him, feed him, or anything else. But I have to get out. Sarah

Looks like you have a busy December ahead of you. I just declined the first Christmas party for Thursday night with the brain injury group. I don't thik Gary would do well eating with the crowd and since it's at a private residence, I'm not even sure if I could get him in with a wheelchair. Sarah

Congratulations Grandma and Grandpa!! How exciting for both of you! Sarah

Gary, Thanks for the information. I ordered two of the books, one for my husband, Gary, and one for our friend, Dennis, who had a brainstem stroke also. I'll probably order the tapes after I read the book. Sarah

Those are all people poops! Is there a list for dogs and cats? Our pup had a bad habit of recycling hers until I started putting meat tenderizer in her food so it was more gross than usual. I quit doing that after I was sure she was broke of the bad habit. Today I caught her eating a poopsicle in the frozen back yard, and tonight when she road in the van with us to the store, it became a puked poopsicle. Sarah

Good luck with the surgery. I hope it helps to relieve the pain. I'll be watching for the update after the surgery. Sarah

I love the freecycle concept. I got rid of two bikes that were gathering dust in the garage, and a car top carrier. I also was able to pick up a walker for Gary from someone who no longer needed it. Sarah

Wouldn't it have been easier to throw out the coffee pot and buy a new one? LOL Kind of like throwing out the baby with the bathwater! Sarah

Kim, I have to agree with Sue. The dust will always be there, but I worry less and less about it than I used to. I actually left a bed unmade today until mid-afternoon so that I could fix a nice big meal for dinner. Can't do everything and gave up trying. If it gets done, fine.....if not, too bad. I have other priorites now. Sarah

Kim, I'm happy for you both that he was feeling better. I know how frustrating it is for you at times, but hang in there.....it will get better. Sarah

Kim Believe it or not, I understand your frustration. I tried to call to offer some support, but left a message instead. Call me when you can, Gary is awake again and in one of his crying moods also. Sarah

I can't tell you whether he will or won't walk, I can only tell you that the Drs. said the same about Gary and although it takes two people holding onto him with a gait belt, he can take the steps. He takes the two steps from the toilet to the shower with me holding onto one arm and him using the rails with his left arm. Gary is on Zanaflex for the muscle spasms and Inosine (an herb) to help regenerate the nerves in the affected areas. Both have helped him to be able to move those muscles. He also has a recumbent bike that the boys bought him last year and he rides it 30 min. a day...helps keep those muscles loosened up. Don't give up hope. When all hope is lost, you don't have much left. Sarah

Have you tried adding Benefiber in the powdered form to his liquids? It's not cheap, but it really works. Is he getting enough liquids? Gary only goes every couple of days but if I don't keep him on something like that he has a really hard time. Also, when I add just 1/3 cup of Allbran to his oatmeal in the morning it seems to help. We both were told to eat at least 1/3 cup of Allbran daily for regularity. Sarah

Marty, As difficult as it is for you to be without her right now, just know that she will appreciate the fact that she was able to be with her Dad those last few days. We had just brought Gary home from rehab the end of Sept. last year, and two weeks later I got the call that my Dad was fading fast. We were still in the process of establishing a routine here with Gary and taking turns with my sister getting some sleep when we could, so I couldn't leave until it was time to go up to S.Dak. to bury him. I still feel guilty that I couldn't be with my Dad those last few days and that he died without any real family around him. I say "real" family because the nurses and staff at the VA State Home where he lived were all like family to him. Sarah

It will take time but it will rebuild and the people will be stronger for it all. It reminds me so much of the flood in Rapid City, SD when my Dad was living there in the early 70's .....no where near the magnitude of destruction as in New Orleans, but over 200 people lost their lives when a wall of water came down the once small peaceful creek that ran through the city. When the gov't came in to help with the rebuilding, they wouldn't allow people to build homes within a certain distance of the creek. In the case of New Orleans, with the area being under sea level, the only way they should be allowed to rebuild is if the govt. can guarantee that they can engineer levees that will hold back water. That's a pretty tough guarantee when they have no idea of the strength of the next hurricane to hit the area. Sarah

Michael, I had a similar problem when I went out to visit my sister in WA last Feb. I contacted a friend who knew computers, and he had me do a restore using a date previous to when I first noticed the problems. It pretty much took care of the problem, then I put passwords on the computer so nobody can get on it unless I type in the password for them, which I pretend to not remember. LOL Sarah

Marty, I'm sorry you had to experience such a hateful response to your blogging. Unfortunately, not everyone has your good sense of humor and there is no excuse for such hatred in this world. I, for one, will miss your blogs and if that makes me a "dirty b...tch", so be it. Take care and hurry back ......remember it's not what others think of you that matters, it's what you think of yourself. Sarah