srademacher

Stroke Caregiver - female
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    435

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Blog Entries posted by srademacher

  1. srademacher

    Still Trying to Blog

    By srademacher,

    Will try this again....maybe the shortened version. Kelly is no longer with us ...let her go end of December. After two years she never could get the buttwiping 101 down right, still preferred taking Gary for walks or to shoot pool as opposed to finishing up the housework she was assigned to do, and was having too many problems in her personal life to focus on her job. We had another agency for approximately 2 months but the new gal never could transfer Gary on her own, so I was stuck here for half her shift (that I was paying for), in order to help her with that. Really didn't get much of a break with her here.
     
    Mom, who turned 91 in Oct. fell on Thurs. and broke an ankle in three places. She has been transferred to a nursing home until the swelling goes down before they can try to do surgery on the ankle. I have a feeling once they stuff her full of pain meds, her dementia will worsen and she will transition permanently to the nursing home. The assisted living place where she's been the last few years will not be able to give her the help she needs if she can't transfer on her own from wheelchair to bed or chair or toilet/shower. My sister, who was here from Seattle last week, had to cut her vacation short by a week to get back to Mom's side. They should be back in WA by later today to assess Mom's needs and I should hear more later today.
     
    We are headed over to son, Dan's house later today for the Super Bowl. I had hoped to sleep in but between the dogs and Gary having to pee in the middle of the night, I'm lucky to get 3-4 hr. sleep at a time, then once awake, find it difficult to get back to sleep. Maybe I'll get a short nap before we head over to Dan's place. I can always wish, can't I???
     
    Sarah
  2. srademacher

    Gain Some, Lose Some

    By srademacher,

    Life has it's share of ups and downs. This past month it's been gain some - and I don't mean in a good way. I had a bad month on the scales and I chalk it up to stress eating over every stupid little thing that went wrong. I had a mole removed after the doc thought it looked abnormal, and sure enough the biopsy came back showing abnormal tissue. The surgery to remove the abnormal tissue left me with an ugly big scar across my forearm - going on three weeks and it still looks nasty. We had the storm damage, and window replacement and I wasn't happy with the finish work, but will get someone to add some trim around the windows and maybe clean it up a bit. I just wanted those contractors to get done and get out - I was so frustrated with them. I had the microwave tripping the circuit breaker and finally got a reputable electrical contractor out to run new wire to put it on a separate circuit - something I had asked the first guys to do but they took a short cut - and it still kept tripping. Arrrrrrrrgggh!
     
    Our youngest son took his male dog in to get him neutered and I had him for an overnight after he had to go back to emergency vet when he worked his way out of his collar and tore his stitches open and into his abdomen wall ...crazy dog. He is a hyperactive little maltipoo and hearing impaired so difficult to communicate with him. The first night I had the dog so son could go back to work, I found out that our son left work at 5:30 and spent 5 hours in ER with high blood pressure - too much stress from the dog's health issues and work related problems. Another worry I didn't need right now. Then I stayed up late to keep the dog calmed down and read a post on fb from a niece who had recently had a kidney stone removed, and they now discovered three large masses on her kidneys. One turned out to be early stage cancer and they will treat it. Seems like it's just been one thing on top of another and through it all, I kept stuffing food in my face - partially from stress, partially boredom while Gary sleeps so many hours a day.
     
    It's a new month, a new day, and time to get back on track - I forced myself to sign back into Weight Watchers online and start over. I have to get the weight off. I have to force myself to get back to the pool now that my three weeks since surgery (when I wasn't supposed to do any strenuous activities) is over. Tomorrow is my 4 hour day with Kelly here to shower, dress and feed Gary, so I'm going to the pool - ugly scar and all. It's a must - as I've convinced myself that if I don't lose 20 lb. before Thanksgiving, I'm not going to our sons big family dinner. It's time to lose again!!!
     
    Sarah
  3. srademacher

    Hanging In There!

    By srademacher,

    Whenever someone asks "how are you doing?" my typical response is "hanging in there." What else can I say - we have good days and bad days, I'm not going to dwell on the bad days although sometimes I just want to scream "I'm effin tired ...don't I look like sh**t?" lol Haven't blogged in a while because I keep losing the blogs when I try to save a draft - and I don't have the energy to re-type. I've also tried cutting and pasting from a word document to no avail - so that's why you haven't heard from me in a while.
     
    Sarah
  4. srademacher
    Yesterday I ran out for a few hours while Kelly was here and then came home, picked up her and Gary and all our gear and we headed to the pool for a few hours before she had to leave. In the rush to get all our belongings, we forgot the bag that had Gary's gait belt, so we didn't even attempt to get him in the pool without it. Instead, we parked him in his wheelchair in the shade next to the building and close to a hose where we could cool him down if we needed to do so.
     
    Kelly and I were swimming and visiting with another man in the pool, when a second man arrived - dressed in his swim trunks, a tank top and a hat to keep his face from sunburning in this ungodly heat. He was also wearing a pair of swim shoes, which he wore into the hot tub and pool as well as his shirt and hat. I thought he acted a bit strange, and then Kelly informed me that she had met him before and he had some issues with drinking. He appeared to be sober but just wanting to interact with people, so we included him in our conversation and he seemed pleased about that.
     
    We swam for about 40 min., then Kelly and I got out of the pool to dry off a bit before heading home. We were sitting by Gary, encouraging him to drink more of his juice to keep from dehydrating, There was rock n' roll music coming through the speakers from the office to the outside pool area, and Gary was kind of swaying to the music while working on his juice, so the guy started showing him how to do some exercises with his arms and legs while dancing in his wheelchair. Kelly grabbed Gary's juice so he wouldn't spill it, and then he and the guy were really getting into the dance thing. It seemed to please the other man even more than it did Gary, as they were making a connection. This man had never asked about Gary or his condition, only knew that Kelly was Gary's caregiver, and yet he seemed to be genuinely caring and concerned about him. After about 10 min. of them dancing to the music, we picked up all our stuff to leave, wished the man a good rest of his day and headed to the car.
     
    As we were loading our stuff in the car, we saw the man get out of the pool and head over to the table where he had placed some of his belongings and then he put his head down and began sobbing loudly. I asked Kelly if he was okay, as he didn't appear to have been drinking, and she thought he was just emotional about Gary's condition. Maybe it made him realize that life isn't perfect, people have health issues, he's not alone and for at least 1/2 hr. he was included in someone else's life and it wasn't all that bad. I don't know what he was thinking or feeling at the time, but I know he was very upset. I felt bad for him.
     
    Sarah
  5. srademacher
    July has been a very hot month - very few days under the triple digits and I'm getting a little tired of it. I've had a heat rash under my boobs for over 2 weeks and nothing, I mean NOTHING seems to help. I've tried medicated powders, corn starch, and even diaper rash ointment but the pain and itching continues and I've been avoiding going to the pool because of it - don't need chemicals causing more problems. Enough of this heat already!!!!
     
    It's been a very busy month. Our daughter-in-law from Colorado came for the 4th of July weekend, we finished painting the family room that was once Dan's bedroom, furnished it and it feels really comfortable now - it's our evening t.v. room. I hit a winning streak at the casino the last week in July - like 4 days in a row, skipped a few and then got another 19 Ben Franklins the other day, so Gary got a new lift chair and a newer Jazzy power chair. I paid for Dan's new puppies and had them delivered here because he had to work the night the couple wanted to get rid of them, and didn't get off until 7 the next morning. He got a brother and sister, 4 month old maltipoos - really cute dogs but the male is a non-stop bundle of energy. lol He will take them in for spaying and neutering next Tues. on his day off. We had them for a few hours on Friday, while Dan was here to put a new floor in my storage shed, and they wore me out. My dogs are having fun with them - Pookie, who is 11 yr. old today, and Jazzie who turn 6 in a week, act like puppies themselves when around the other two. lol
     
    Gary continues to give me grief when I shower him on Kelly's days off, and I can't get him to understand that we cannot hire her for 7 days a week. Four is expensive enough, and while I could probably afford seven days a week, I'm pretty sure there would be no money left in the budget for me to do anything fun for myself - no more massages, no more pedicures and no breakfasts at the casino or play time. So, what would I do while Kelly is here - he just doesn't seem to understand that or care, either way. I am hoping to plan a trip to the west coast for Mom's 91st birthday in Oct. but not sure if I will leave him with Kelly. I don't really want to drag him across the country again, but not sure exactly what to do with him at this point. Maybe offer a brother or sister some money to come stay with him - at least I know he will be in good hands.
     
    Sarah
  6. srademacher
    Today is Gary's 68th birthday - he has survived 11 years since his massive brainstem stroke on June 1, 2004 and is thriving. After his last physical in June, the Dr. said the stroke was apparently a one-time life altering neurological event and that he appears to be very healthy and could live a normal lifespan - notice I didn't say "normal life."
     
    From the time Gary left stroke rehab the end of September 2004, he has been at home with me as his full-time primary caregiver. We gradually weaned him off all the crazy meds they had him on - some for things that he never had (like seizure meds), and left him with only one prescription and that will be for life - his antidepressant. We were able to reduce that from the original 150 mg per day to 50 mg and he does well with it. He is eating healthier than he ever did pre-stroke and that's probably why he is doing so well. He also has the best part-time caregiver to care for him 15 hr. a week, so he sometimes doesn't like for me to shower and feed him, but asks for her instead. :roflmao: She takes him for walks, they shoot pool at the clubhouse, and the other day when I got home early with groceries they were out front flying a kite. He enjoys all of that extra special attention from her and it certainly helps me to have some "Me" time knowing that I can trust her with him. We are very blessed to have such good help.
     
     
    Sarah
  7. srademacher
    We just got back from our trip to Las Vegas. We went for ours and Kelly's birthdays and had a fun time. We left on Saturday with a stop in Flagstaff to grab a couple yogurts, then Kelly drove until we stopped just outside Kingman, AZ where we had lunch at a truck stop. The truck stop experience could have ruined our whole trip, but I refused to let it do so. People who know us understand that Gary still has difficulty with chewing and swallowing, so I have to coach him through the process otherwise he could choke on his food or aspirate it into his lungs. I was doing just that while feeding him his lunch, when a trucker who had been seated nearby got up to leave. As he passed us, he said to me "you might want to try not being such a Bitch to that man." I looked at him and asked "Excuse me???" He repeated what he had said. Without thinking, I asked him if he would like to take care of Gary for 11 years, then tell me how to do my job. What a jerk!!! There was another man sitting behind us who heard everything and said to me "you should just ignore that A**hole! I agreed but think I was so caught off-guard that I instinctively reacted. The guy had no clue!!!
     
    We got into Vegas by mid-afternoon on Sat. and as is typical of our travels lately, the resort had no idea we were supposed to have accessible accommodations. I had made the reservations two months earlier and was told that it was marked in the computer and guaranteed for accessability and there was no need to call ahead the week of the trip to verify it - it was already done. NOT!!!! The desk clerk did find us a handicap unit on the 10th floor of the back tower, and I said it would be okay, but if there was an emergency evacuation and we couldn't get out, they better have good attorneys!~ lol
     
    We had a nice 2 bedroom unit with a Jacuzzi off the master bedroom - Kelly's room - since the other one was closer to the handicap bathroom with the grab bars and roll-in shower. We did have to call down to the front desk to get a shower chair, but otherwise the bathroom worked out great and the smaller bedroom with the two beds worked out better for us also. I didn't have to worry about Gary taking his half out of the middle of my bed. lol
     
    We spent the first day shopping for some nice pants for Gary to wear to the Donnie and Marie show, played a little at a casino off the strip and spent a little time by the pool.
     
    Overall, we had a great time and took Kelly to see Donnie and Marie's show the night before we headed home. We even had better seats than the last time we saw their show about 4 or 5 years ago. It's great to be home again and we got a good night's sleep before Dan brought the fur babies back home. I'm sure they enjoyed their time with Dan, but they are both happy to be home again - Pookie even supervised Gary's shower this morning when I got him up. lol
     
    Sarah
  8. srademacher
    Gary was always a man of few words pre-stroke, and still is post stroke, but not by choice. Unfortunately, sometimes the few words that he does speak can at times be inappropriate - he doesn't seem to understand when he can and cannot say them, but he's speaking from his heart even if his brain doesn't understand.
     
    He can be sitting and watching a commercial on television and listening to all the sales pitches when he might blurt out "oh bullshit," and that's okay because it's usually just he and I and maybe Dan in the room at the time. He might be watching a news story about "deflate gate" and hear someone say that Tom Brady is innocent of any wrongdoing and he will speak those same words, and I, for one, will agree with him. However, this past Sunday when our Eucharistic Minister was here to bring communion, she was in the middle of the Gospel reading - something about how God looks after those who believe in him - when Gary spit out those two words. I instantly shot him a dirty look and he grinned and covered his mouth as though he understood he had done something wrong. Fortunately, his speech is still bad enough that other's don't always understand what he's saying and I believe Janie didn't pick up on what he had just said and she continued the reading. After she left, I had a talk with him about it and he just laughed and indicated that was the way he felt at the time. He seemed to understand that he should have kept it to himself - but with his short-term memory loss, who knows when he will blurt out something inappropriate again at the worst possible time.
     
    We had a rather boring holiday weekend. I managed to get the flag hung out on Friday to honor all the fallen heroes who fought for our freedom, and I packed a few kitchen items that I had in duplicate so Dan would have some things he needs for his new home, but otherwise didn't do much. On Monday, we were watching the Memorial Day ceremonies in Washington, DC while I was feeding Gary his dinner in his recliner in the living room. During parts of the ceremony where they were showing the American flag, he would put his left hand (since his right hand is affected) over his heart, or he would sometimes salute as others did in the processions - all while eating his dinner. It was obvious he wasn't concentrating on chewing and swallowing issues, but more so on honoring the fallen soldiers. He even cried at times during the ceremony.
     
    Kelly was off yesterday because of the holiday, so I got to do all the laundry that she normally would do on Mondays, and then some. Gary had a bit of a sore throat on Sunday night so had slobbered quite a bit during the night and soiled most of his bedding with drool. I ended up washing everything - pillows, sheet set, bed pads and mattress cover - 4 loads in all. We are lucky that the heat is on here now, so some of the larger items were hung out on the deck rail to dry - and they managed to dry faster than if I had put them in the dryer on a 60 min. cycle. There won't be any laundry for her today, but just as well since we have to get Gary up, showered and fed before his appointment with his new Dr. for his annual physical. I have a feeling the Dr. will try to recommend nursing home care for him once he sees the extent of his disabilities, to which Gary will most definitely say "oh bullshit."
     
    Sarah
  9. srademacher
    My follow-up visit to the Dr. resulted in a clean bill of health. I wouldn't have returned except they refused to give me the lab results over the phone, insisting that I had to meet with the Dr. to get them. As far as I could tell this was just an excuse to collect another co-pay and bilk insurance out of more money. A few levels were slightly above or below the normal range, but nothing to be concerned about, so not really sure why I had to meet with the Dr. I did inform her that I am on the nutrisystem program and back to swimming several times a week, so I expect cholesterol levels and bp to lower as I drop the pounds......the lower the better, I guess.
     
    Starting into week five of the weight loss program, I'm down 18 lbs. and still going strong. I love the energy shakes and the craving crushers help to keep me from munching on junk food. I had to make some changes to the food items as too much chocolate or cheese items were causing constipation, and we all know if you can't go, you can't lose weight. lol I switched out as much of the chocolate as I could in the shakes and dessert categories, and gave some of the leftover from the first month to my son. I'm not sure they're doing him much good when he uses them with ice cream or other junk food.
     
    Dan closes on his house the end of this month and our other son, Joel, will come over that last weekend in May to help him move. They both have trucks, so hopefully they can get it all moved in a couple of trips - especially since his new home is only about 4 miles from us. I can't wait to get that room he's been living in fumigated, painted and ready for a guest room for when visitors come. I'm sending a few older pieces of furniture with him since he really only has his bedroom stuff, and am looking forward to shopping for a new recliner and sofa for the front room. I may even pull the carpet in that room and put down wood floors - especially since we have so much dust here in AZ, which doesn't help during allergy season.
     
    Gary is doing well and loving getting his daily outings with his caregiver, Kelly. After she gets him showered and fed, she cleans up a bit here and off they go to the clubhouse to shoot some pool, or maybe she will push him around the park in his wheelchair so they can greet other residents as they go. I often hear from others in the park, that they saw Gary earlier in the day with his caregiver doing their walk. He really enjoys the interaction with others even if it's just a wave and a hello from them. Saturday morning, I got him out on the deck for his pancake breakfast and afterwards I cut his hair, so he's all ready for the sizzlin' summer heat!
     
    Sarah
  10. srademacher

    Weighing In

    By srademacher,

    Just updating from my last blog ......We went out to Red Lobster the Sunday following our anniversary since our son, Dan, had given us a gift card and it's always been a favorite place for us to celebrate our anniversary. I had a small meal - grilled shrimp and chicken with rice pilaf, and I ate Gary's salad that came with his huge meal with lobster and salmon. He doesn't do well with salads, but he did manage a few bites of it. Even with his swallowing issues, he can eat like a horse (or piggy)! lol Dan went with us and we used his gift card and he picked up the extra tab and I left the tip. I didn't blow my diet, although I could have easily done so.
     
    Dan signed a contract on a small house in Mesa this week, and has completed the inspection process and is now awaiting some fix-ups on the part of the seller before the process continues. He fears that it will not appraise out at the selling cost, so either has to come up with more down payment or back out of the deal. We're giving him a huge chunk of $$ for the down payment and closing and I really don't want to pull more out of our money market account than what we already agreed on, so hopefully all goes well and he can close and move by mid-May.
     
    My Dr. appointment went well with the new physician, but I have no intention of following up with bp check and meds for high blood pressure, as it was unusually high the day I went in for physical, which is rare. I had a tiff earlier that morning with Gary spitting his breakfast all over the kitchen table, when he pulled his stubborn act and was making a mess. He was upset that Kelly wasn't there to baby him so he was being extra difficult for me. I knew exactly why my bp was higher than normal and after the nurse commented on the first reading, she did come back later and re-do it and it was considerably lower but still not back to normal range. I told her it would return to normal after a few hours out of the house and away from the full-time job of caregiving. Sad, but true!!!
     
    I scheduled a vacation for June to use the timeshare in Vegas and we plan to take Kelly with us for her birthday celebration also. She can help with the driving and with getting Gary in and out of the pool. I'm still working on fitting into a swimsuit - just weighed in for the start of week 3 and am down 12 pounds, so not bad for two weeks of the program, and not feeling deprived or starved at all............even sleeping better at night. I still need to get to the pool and timing it when there is shade around the pool is tricky. I don't want to go during the hottest part of the day and we are now approaching the 100 degree mark, so after 4:30 p.m. is best. That's about the time he wakes from his nap and is hungry and thirsty, so either feed him first and deal with cleaning up the mess first, or make him wait for his dinner till later. We will see what works best.
     
    That's about it for now...he's talking in his sleep and I can't understand a word of it so hope it's a good dream and not a nightmare. lol
     
    Sarah
  11. srademacher
    Tomorrow is our 47th wedding anniversary - my how we have changed. From a young, lively couple in our late teens..early twenties to a disabled older man with a caregiver wife who has been caring for him going on 11 years.............and they said we would never last!! lol
     
    Gary has a caregiver here tomorrow for four hours so I'm taking him out for pancakes today. I can't eat pancakes since I started on Nutrisystem and this is my startup week, so I'll settle for a tossed salad and have my lunch and dinner entrees later today along with a craving crusher shake. I'm determined to get the excess weight off before the heat of summer, so I can get back into my swimsuit and hit the pool.
     
    Not much new here ....our son is looking for a house or condo to buy, so anxious for him to get moved out. You know the old saying "If your mother doesn't live here, clean up after yourself!" Well, in our home I say "Just because your Mother lives here, doesn't mean she appreciates having to clean up after you......get your own place, and make your messes there."
     
    Hope everyone is having a good spring and looking forward to a great summer!!!!
     
     
    Sarah
  12. srademacher
    We survived the visitors from Colorado. Gary's niece and his brother flew in last week Wednesday. They were going to pick up a large truck for someone at the airport and drive it back to Colorado on Friday. As with all good plans, everything depends on the weather and it changed dramatically in Colorado from the time his niece booked her flight to the day they were supposed to head back. The storm back in Colorado was to last through Monday and driving over Raton Pass, NM would have been treacherous, so they decided to stay until Monday. Both were staying at our house and we had barbecued steaks on Wednesday night when they got here, took them to the casino for crab legs on Thursday night, and barbecued bratwurst on Friday. Since Saturday was Sheri's 46th birthday and her hubby didn't want to miss it, he found a cheap plane ticket and flew here Sat. to be with her for her birthday. Our middle son, Joel, invited us all over that night for corned beef and cabbage dinner and I stopped and picked up a fruit tray, beer, two cakes, and some ice cream at the grocery store on the way over. Just before we left for Joel's house, our friend, Pauline, from Boulder, CO came by to pick up her frozen orange juice and grapefruit juice that she had left on her way through a few weeks ago because it wouldnt' fit in her little fridge in her camper. She hung out here until we were ready to leave for Joel's house, then we dropped her off at her camper at the casino parking lot and took off. Sheri and Tom, her husband, spent the next two nights at Joel's house and Chuck came back to our house to stay. On Sunday morning I got up early, thanks to my dogs and Gary all having to pee, and I made a huge batch of breakfast burritos. Gary was pretty exhausted by Sunday, so after we drove to Mesa to pick up a used hoyer lift (next paragraph) we just hung out at the house and all napped in the afternoon. They headed back out to Colorado on Monday morning about 10 and made it as far as Las Vegas, NM before the fog stopped them. They finally got home on Tuesday afternoon before the next round of snow hit in Colorado. Pauline got as far as Colorado Springs on Tuesday, then had to stop for the night with her little camper rather than tackle Monument Hill in the snow. Not sure if she made it home the next day or not since I haven't heard back from her.
     
    The hoyer Hell that the Dr. and home health agency put us through was a 7 week waste of our time. I had no idea that medicare HMO would not pay to buy a hoyer, but rather rent one - the agency was sitting on the RX for a whole week before I got ahold of a supervisor, who then decided she could push it through, but not before I asked how much this was going to cost us for our share. We would have had to pay close to $30/month and medicare would have paid $120/month for a rental. At that point, I told them where to stick their rental and found a new/used one on craigslist for $300 and we drove to Mesa and got it on Sunday - the guy even showed us how to use it. Should have done that 7 weeks ago as opposed to getting jerked around by the health agencies.
     
    While our company was here last week, I got a message from my youngest sister that Mom had bronchitis. By the time company left on Monday, she had sent me another message that Mom was going to the hospital as the bronchitis had now turned to pneumonia....not good for someone her age with congestive heart problems and diabetic. By the 2nd day at the hospital they put her on oxygen and two of my sisters were going to see her. I have not heard back from either of them as of this morning...but hoping no news is good news and she is improving.
     
    Kelly, Gary's caregiver, also informed me yesterday that her Mom went to the hospital with what she thought was gall bladder attack. Her Mom lives about 40 miles away in Goodyear, AZ with a brother. Last night she texted me and said they found her Mom has ovarian cancer and is scheduled for a hysterectomy today. Kelly is really worried about her ...she is in her late 70s. I told her she could take Friday off if she needed to be with her Mom and I would go ahead and pay her anyhow. She said "wait and see after the surgery on Thursday."
     
    I am leaning toward cancelling our trip to Colorado next week for a great niece's wedding. We have seen most of Gary's family in the last six months or so as they have traveled here, and after learning that the temps will be down in the 30s when we get in, I'm not sure my body can adjust to the cold with also caring for Gary and driving a rental car or staying at a hotel that may not have the perfect accessible accommodations. I have until Monday evening to decide if I want to cancel and will only be out the airfare at that point - which was cheap to begin with. I also have more worries with the roofers not being able to get here until the 18th, and would hate to come home and find out that it rained while we were gone and other areas have leaked and caused damage to furniture and other personal items in the house. We already had another leak in back bedroom after our son took out the rusted vent on the roof and sealed it up, so not sure where that was coming from. The sooner we get that other roof done, the better off we will be. If it isn't one problem, it's another on this place - caught me a nasty little mouse the other night while sitting at the computer, when I heard a loud click in the kitchen. I thought we had sealed all cracks and crevices but the little stinker found a way in somewhere....his mistake as he is now ziplocked and awaiting trash pickup on Friday.
     
    The weather is heating up this weekend (back to the 80s) so I'm hoping to get over to the pool again. I can only hope that my fat *fanny* will fit in one of the half dozen swimsuits I have in the closet. Might have to wait until dark so nobody sees me..... lol
     
    Sarah
  13. srademacher

    Hoyer Hell

    By srademacher,

    Still waiting on the hoyer lift here....It's been over six weeks since I went to the Dr. for my shoulder pain - frozen shoulder, got the cortisone shot, which is now starting to wear off and not much cooperation with the RX for the hoyer. It took them over four weeks to get a RX to the Home Health agency that coordinates it, then it was incorrect - was written for me as though I were the patient, instead of for Gary. Took another two weeks with me hounding them constantly to get it straightened out. I finally had to threaten to park him with a sign in front of the clinic, stating that they made us wait over 6 weeks for a RX for a hoyer to lift him in and out of bed, and I told them I might just bring a news crew to film it. lol
     
    On Wednesday of last week, they finally got it faxed to Home Health...where it now sits. Supposedly it takes another 24-48 hr. for insurance to do the approval (that's the insurance network), and as of Friday they had not received it - so someone at Home Health is going to get an earful on Monday if it's not there yet.
     
    Gary had another fall (actually me lowering him to the floor as opposed to trying to lift his dead weight when he started going down). I had to get our son (who was getting ready for work at the time) to help me get Gary up into the bed. I did get out later in the week and bought a used trapeze assist from a craigslist ad to at least help him move over in the bed once we get him up in it. I was having to use the bed pads to slide him side to side and it was still a lot of lifting on my part. Dan made the adjustments to the trapeze and mounted it to the wall studs using 2x4s to secure it, as opposed to attaching to the headboard of the new bed.
     
    I managed a 90 min. massage last week, but the therapist said I needed at least three 90-min. ones back to back as if that would help any. I'm afraid it might just put her out of commission for a while as it would take a toll on her poor body.
     
    We are expecting Gary's brother and a niece from Colorado this coming week, and I was so hoping we would have the hoyer before they arrive. Neither one needs to put strain on their back helping with lifting Gary. I'm hoping we can barbecue the first night they are here, then head to the casino for crab legs on Thursday night. I discovered yesterday that my propane tank on the grill is empty, so Dan lifted it into my vehicle to go fill it later today. If he's sleeping when we get back with it, I'll wait and have Kelly help me get the full tank out of the car in the morning as I can no longer lift anything that heavy. It's difficult enough lifting a gallon of milk into a shopping cart these days. I'm just not getting any younger - will be 67 in June and feel more like 107.
     
    Sarah
  14. srademacher
    Is it me, or are there just too many incompetent people employed these days?? I swear either everyone thinks I'm an idiot or they don't care that they're screwing over the public in general. The big bed that I bought the end of January was not the bed I had ordered. When it was delivered, I called and questioned whether it was a mistake and the salesman tried hard to convince me that it was the one that I had selected. It was not - nor was it the brand I had ordered, so after trying to sleep on it and suffering from sore back and lack of sleep, I asked them to take it back. After some negotiation, I finally received a call from the manager of their other store who agreed to have someone pick it up and give me a credit back on my charge card. She wanted me to follow them back to the store to re-swipe my credit card for the adjustment, but I thought that was a little strange and told her I could only do that if they came early enough that I could get out and back before my caregiver had to leave. When they finally arrived to pick it up, it was 1/2 hr. before Kelly was due to leave, so I couldn't follow them back to the store. The guy in charge of picking it up said he was pretty sure he could make the credit card adjustment without having to swipe my card, so they took the mattress and box spring and left. That was two days and I have yet to see the credit and was told by my credit card company that they could take as long as 30 days to release the funds back to my credit card. Since I filed a dispute of the charge with my credit card company, and told them the items have been returned to the merchant, they have at least issued me a temporary adjustment on my card. Pain in the ass to have to go through all this - I feel as though I have been defrauded, but not going to let them get away with it.
     
    In the meantime, I went out and found a good mattress set w/box spring from another merchant and we waited around that evening for the delivery - delivery time was scheduled between 5 p.m. - 8 p.m. After having slept on our recliners for two nights already, I was anxious to get the bed set up and get Gary to bed at a decent hour. My elderly neighbor had a friend/caregiver helping her squeeze oranges for juice, so she offered to have her stay and help me set up the bed when it came. By 8:20 we still had not received our new bed, so I tried calling the merchant and they were closed at 8 p.m. I had no way of getting ahold of the delivery people to find out where the heck our bed was. Finally, at about 8:50 I got a call from the delivery driver informing me they were running "a little late and would be here in about 45 min." Why didn't they just tell me "sometime before midnight".?? They finally showed up with the bed at about 9:30 that night and Krysta came over and helped me set it up and get Gary into bed - he was exhausted by then and there's no way I could have handled him alone. I offered to pay her for helping me, but she would not take any money - I'm pretty sure Lois took care of it for me. I fear we will go through the same thing tomorrow when the other - smaller bed that I ordered for the study is due to arrive.
     
    I also got a call the other day about the hoyer lift that I had ordered for Gary. I had called our family Dr. on at least 3 or 4 occasions after I went in with the frozen shoulder problem the first part of January and asked if she could write a prescription for Gary for the hoyer. Someone finally put the order in to a local health care agency and that's who called me, but to inform me they had an order for a hoyer lift for me. I told her it was for Gary, but I would be using it to get him in and out of bed - and I was shocked that someone actually finally wrote the order, but not at all surprised that they screwed it up. Am I being a smartass here???? You bet I am - why, because it is so typical of all the B.S. I have dealt with over the last 10-1/2 years since Gary's stroke. Nobody follows up, nobody cares, it's not their problem, and as I've said many times I could write a book about it. While I am waiting on the hoyer lift, I am still having pain in the right shoulder as the cortisone shot that I got a month ago is probably wearing off.
     
    We got our bill from Gary's ENT appointment a few weeks ago and I had to call and question the amount he still owed. I asked the gal why they didn't show that he had paid a $45 co-pay at the time of the appointment and why it wasn't applied to that bill. She looked it up and it appears they billed the medicare HMO the total amt. - got paid by insurance the allowed amt. per their contract and then tried to bill us the difference - all the while ignoring the fact that we already paid $45 co-pay. She decided we actually didn't owe any more money....go figure!!! I'm pretty sure we owed the co-pay amount so chances are they collected more than they should have from insurance, and nobody on that end caught it.
     
    The handyman finished up the ceiling work in Dan's room and we will paint it ourselves. I hired the more reliable handyman to do the back bedroom drywall. He stopped by earlier today to disconnect the electrical from the vent/fan/light so the roofers can replace the top vent cover with plywood before doing the foam roof. Grant is very thorough and efficient in his work even if it takes him forever to bill me for a job that lasts more than an hr. The roofers can't get here until the 18th of March to do the foam roof, but we will keep our fingers crossed it doesn't rain before then.
     
    Tomorrow our friend from Boulder, CO will be here for a few days. This will be her first trip pulling her little camper down here without Mike (who passed away about six months ago). I hadn't realized when she called that the main road to our place will be closed tonight from 10 p.m. through Friday morning at 5 a.m., so she will have to take the long way around to get to our place. When I saw the sign about the closure this morning, it was already too late to call and let her know since she is on the road already and I don't have her new cell number. I'm hoping she calls from wherever she stops tonight, so I can let her know to go straight to the casino parking lot and call us from there. Then we can drive our vehicle over and have dinner with her there, or bring her back to our place. One more thing to worry about .............do I need a chill pill or what??? My son says I worry to much - I should just chill out ......maybe he should walk a mile in my shoes...... lol
     
    Sarah
  15. srademacher

    Big Weekend

    By srademacher,

    The rain started on Thursday night....just in time for the Seattle fans to feel right at home as they flew into town for the Super Bowl. By Friday morning, we were getting the waterworks in through the vent in the back bedroom again. This is the fan above where my bed used to sit, but thank goodness I had moved it to the other side of the bedroom for Gary to use until the new bigger bed arrived on Friday afternoon. Unfortunately, I had the futon sitting in that area of the bedroom and it got rain soaked, the carpet was wet and looking overhead we could see the drywall areas where the tape was bubbling up and finally had to poke holes for the water to drip through before it ruined whole large sections of the drywall. Major repair work ahead that could have been prevented if the handyman I hired a year ago had only listened to me and gotten rid of the fan and that roof vent and closed it all off at the time instead of just changing out the fan to a light for that corner of the bedroom. Nobody listens to me....he thought it would be quicker and cheaper to do it his way, and now I will pay for the repairs from the most recent damage. I ended up giving away the wet futon, have a roofer coming on Tues. to give me an estimate to repair the roof damage, and will need to find a reliable drywaller to do the inside work.
     
    Kelly worked extra hours on Friday helping me to clean up the water mess, and set up the new bed when it arrived. It turns out the separate bedframe wasn't in as perfect condition as was advertised when I bought it from craigslist, as the middle part of the frame didn't set level without adding concrete blocks under it. By the time we finally got it together, with the older queen bed still in the way, we couldn't move the bigger, heavy bed without pushing it off the blocks we needed to level the center of the frame, and it now sets so high, we need a small trampoline to spring up into the bed. lol I tried to get son to help move the queen bed out of the room, as I thought he was planning to get rid of his bed and take this one, but he changed his mind. I think he didn't want to mess with taking it apart and moving it all to his room, so it still sits in our room until I can get it sold. I already gave one away as well as the futon, and I'm not giving this one away for free, especially since I paid too much for the cal king bed to replace it. It's been a struggle getting Gary into the bigger bed these last few nights, but when Kelly gets here today, I'm going to have her help me take it apart and try setting the box springs down into the frame instead of on it, and that should lower it by a good 6-8 inches.
     
    On Saturday, the rain chances dropped from 60% to 20% and we were supposed to head to the downtown area to meet up with Gary's niece and her hubby from Seattle at the NFL Experience. It was a go, no go situation for a couple of hours until the rain finally stopped. We bundled Gary up in a rain poncho and headed down to participate in all the pre-Superbowl craziness. We had to park about 6 blocks from where we planned to meet everyone, our middle son, daughter-in-law and grandson included, and we walked through large crowds of people to get to Chase Field where the Seahawk rally was to take place around 1:30. Every street corner had a preacher bellowing out the gospel and people pushing through the crowds to get where they were going - it was totally insane. We got to the stadium area around 1:45 and stood in the large crowd inching our way forward for nearly an hr. before we got inside the stadium. Security was very tight, but they did allow me to take Gary's thickened drink in with us and I had already changed out my purse before we left home and took only a small clutch purse. Our daughter-in-law had a small purse but because it wasn't see through was forced to empty it, keep the contents and toss the purse. She was a little upset as she had just bought that purse recently, but rules are rules and they didn't care. The rally didn't last long, probably less time than the amount of time we stood in line to get in, so we headed out to get back on the road ahead of the crowds. At least we were able to see the niece and her hubby for a short while, then they were off to meet up with their friends. We were lucky to get on the road for home ahead of the crowds, and Gary was pretty tired by then, but Dan wanted to stop home, use the bathroom and go out to eat so we headed to a local casino for dinner and ended up staying too long to play. Didn't lose any money but by then Gary was totally exhausted..........too long of a day and too much activity for him. I needed Dan's help getting him into bed that night.
     
    Sunday morning Gary slept in while I cleaned up the kitchen and living room, and Dan started some sausages in the crockpot with spaghetti sauce and veggies. I got him up just in time for communion around noon. He watched a little of the pre-game stuff and then went down for a nap before the big game. I didn't care that the Seahawks lost, I just didn't like that the Patriots won as I have never been a fan of Brady after seeing him throw temper tantrums on the field while spewing the "F" word for all to see on national television. I have to admit he's either grown up a bit or been threatened to watch his temper on the field because I didn't see any tantrums yesterday. Anyhow, I think the Seahawks handed that game over on a silver platter and whoever made that stupid call for a pass on the 1/2 yard line at the end should lose their job over it. That was ridiculous!!
     
    Back to reality after the big weekend. I will help Kelly get Gary up, get the big bed readjusted to make it easier to get into at night, and then I'm off for some "me" time to either get a massage or go play at the casino. Who knows I may even run into some celebrities in town for the big game or the Phoenix open.......not that I would recognize any football players without their helmets and jerseys but there are plenty of others in town also. lol
     
    Sarah
  16. srademacher
    I've been trying to get all my errands done before all the craziness sets in with people coming in for the Pro Bowl and the Super Bowl. We've already had too many crazy drivers on the road with the recent Barrett-Jackson car auction and now the bowl games and the Phoenix Open coming up.
     
    Heard from Gary's niece that she and her husband from Seattle will be in town for the Super Bowl. He went last year when the Seahawks played in New Jersey, but this year they will both be going to the game. Last year they would have been cheering for opposite teams as she is still a big Denver Broncos fan. lol This year, they can at least cheer for the same team. We certainly don't want the Patriots to win - the team who thought it was okay to deflate their balls to avoid petering out in the playoffs, will now have karma come back to bite them in the a$$ at the Super Bowl. lol
     
    Got my vehicle in for it's first real checkup since I bought it - no need to rotate tires yet since I barely have 2,000 miles on it, but wanted the fluid levels checked and tire pressure checked so stopped by the dealership yesterday. Waited nearly 1.5 hours just for a fluid check, and told them next time I will take it to Meineke and get in and out in 15 min., even if I have to pay $20. When I'm paying $22/hr. for a caregiver for Gary, it doesn't make sense to waste my time sitting there that long for a simple fluid check. I later ran into a Toyota salesman at the casino - now I know why my car cost so much - that guy was stuffing hundred after hundred dollar bills into the machines.........lol
     
    We are continuing to put ear drops in Gary's ears and he has good and bad days with the hearing.....still getting a ton of crud out of the ears, but refuse to go back to the quack Dr. Currently looking for new PCP and a neurologist for him. My shoulder is doing better - have been doing the therapy on my own and trying to avoid using that side when transferring Gary. I think I'm having more problems with fatigue right now than anything - hard to get a good night's sleep when he wakes me several times during the night to hold the urinal for him. Last night I was up till 11 doing laundry, then he woke me at 1:30 and when I turned on the light to grab the urinal, I noticed blood all over his pillow. He had scratched the inside of his nose and made it bleed and had blood all over his pillowcase and his face. I ended up running another load of laundry at 2 in the morning and finally got back to bed around 3 a.m. Some days I feel like I'm just a zombie, going through the motions. Try to get my naps in the afternoon when he naps, but dogs hear everything outside and bark if a car door slams, or the gate opens or a UPS delivery driver rings the doorbell...yesterday I was lucky to get 1/2 hr. snooze before that happened.
     
    As soon as Gary wakes up today, I will get him showered and take him out for pancakes. We need to stop at the grocery store and get some more wet wipes and look to see if they have the baby monitor that they show online as $10 less than the exact same thing at Walmart. I got a gift card for the grocery store earlier this week with a thank you card from the friend in park who recently lost her husband. I'm in the market for a baby monitor for the back bedroom now that Pookie's hearing is going bad also. Strange, how her and Gary are both losing hearing about the same time - she's going on 11 yr. old and has been with us since right after his stroke. I depended on her a lot to alert me when he was awake or trying to get up if I didn't hear him from the other end of the house. Unfortunately, our younger dog - the Chihuahua mix only barks at things outside, so not much of a service dog like Pookie has been all these years.
     
    Sarah
  17. srademacher
    As expected, the ear appointment didn't go much better than my doctor appointment last week. We had to get Gary up early, get him showered, and dressed and out the door for an early appointment.
     
    Kelly sat with Gary while I filled out the forms on an electronic tablet - all the personal info. they needed before the appointment. We were then led back to an examining room, where the assistant asked "what are we here for today?" I told her I made the appointment to have his ears flushed since he had hard wax buildup in his ears and was having trouble hearing. She proceeded to type the info. into a computer, then began asking me all the same questions I had just answered on the electronic form in the outer office. I told her I had just answered all those questions and she said "well, I don't have that information here, so we need it again." I guess it doesn't transfer from one electronic computer to another in that office - go figure!!
     
    We were then led into another examining room, where Kelly and I had to transfer Gary to a chair for his examination. We waited a few min., the assistant left the room and Kelly and I asked each other - do you think we'll have to repeat the answers to all those questions again? Sure enough, in walks the Dr. - takes one look at Gary and then toward the nurse where they both rolled their eyes at each other. Kelly and I both read that as " Oh crap, I don't want this patient." Turns out we were right! Doc asks "what are we here for today?" I had to repeat my answer to him. Then he asks "how long ago did he have his stroke?" Again, I'm answering same question for 3rd time. Repeat several more questions and answers before he asks if we're planning to have his hearing tested for hearing aids. I told him Gary has already insisted he won't wear them, so we're hoping just to get the ears flushed. He said they don't do the flushing (would have been nice to know that before going in) then pulls out some tools to examine Gary's ears. Gary gets scared and starts to yell out, doc backs off and says - I can't get to the wax buildup - it's too far back and too hard. So then he says he will call in a RX for some "eye" drops that will help loosen the wax and we should bring him back in a week and he will try again. Kelly and I both got the impression that the min. I said we didn't need the hearing test as Gary would not wear the hearing aids anyhow - that doctor decided he didn't want to mess with us - his main focus was to sell some hearing aids.
     
    We left the examination room after a few min. Kelly thanked him on the way out - I kept my mouth shut as opposed to saying "thanks for nothing." We got home and I got a call about an hr. later from Walgreens to inform me that the RX was out of stock and they would inform us when it came in. I questioned what exactly he had ordered and the pharmacy assistant said it was eye solution for infection or irritation of the eyes. When I told her that he prescribed it to put in Gary's ears to loosen ear wax, she said she had never heard of that before, so I asked to talk to a pharmacist who also told me the same thing. I told them don't bother ordering it just for us as I would not be picking it up. I'm going back to putting ear wax removal in his ears, flushing with warm water and hydrogen peroxide and already I've seen a little improvement.
     
    In the meantime, it's been a whole week since my appointment for the shoulder and my doctor has never returned my call. I never got the MRI because she didn't re-write the RX for it, and I have yet to get a hoyer lift for Gary because we never got that RX either. I gave up calling them, as the office people keep telling me they scanned my messages into my chart and the doctor will call when she reads them. So, if I'm lucky I might get a call by June when I am due for my next annual physical. I should send them a message and tell them to change their answering machine: Press 1 for English, Press 2 for Spanish, Press 3 if you think we're actually going to call you back once we've received your co-pay.
     
    I have lots of new material for a comedy routine:
     
    You might live in AZ if your Dr. made it through the third grade.
    You might live in AZ if your ear Dr. prescribes eye drops for your ears.
    You might live in AZ if you go to the Dr. for papsmear and find out later the examining Dr. was a shrink.
     
    etc. etc. - I have tons more I could do on contractors ....if you get my drift!!!
     
    Sarah
  18. srademacher
    Typed blog early this morning, hit "save draft" button - got "This Page Cannot be displayed", hit back button - it's gone - what else is new??
     
    Got Gary's ENT appt. for Friday this week - hoping to relieve his hearing problems.
     
    Have a possible rotator cuff tear on my right shoulder from too much heavy lifting - went to doc yesterday, got meds and RX for MRI - meds too strong, herbal supplements working better - don't care to be in a fog with upset stomach from meds. Doc screwed up and wrote it for stronger Vicodin - medicare wouldn't cover because of dosage so had to pay $58 out of pocket for meds - have taken 1-1/2 pills and no more - can't tolerate them.
     
    Docs RX for MRI was on wrong form for a radiology clinic that is no longer on our medicare HMO plan, so left message that I need a new RX before I can get that done. Still have not heard back. Also, asked if doc could write an RX for a hoyer lift for Gary since I cannot lift at all right now, and may not be able to again depending on how long this injury lasts. No call back on that either. She was probably too busy adding up how much $$$ she made with appointments that day - not like she gives a damn! Focused more on a mole on my arm than the actual problem I went in for.
     
    Kelly is back to her 15 hr. this week - thank God - she took me to doc on Mon. and to pick up meds and then we took Gary out to eat, got home and she managed to remake beds and finish laundry before leaving that day. She had to drive since I couldn't. She also drove me and Pookie to vet on Tues. to get the dogs rabies shot so I can renew her license. I should be able to drive today since I haven't taken a Vicodin since Mon. night around 9 p.m. and the fog is just starting to lift from it. I have to get a few groceries today.
     
    Welcoming in 2015 with a bang....hope it doesn't go this way all year!
     
    Sarah
  19. srademacher
    I will be glad when the weather warms up enough to get Gary out again. It's been a really chilly couple of weeks and I haven't let Kelly, his caregiver, take him out for walks or over to the clubhouse to shoot pool. The last thing we need is for him to catch a cold and me have to lose more sleep at night caring for him when she's not here.
     
    Christmas Eve Day Gary had a fall first thing in the morning. I had just gotten him out of the shower and let him drive his power chair over to the grab bar in the bedroom where I usually dress him. I left him sit for a min. or two while I straightened out his bed and cleaned up the water mess from the bathroom floor, when I heard a "thud." He was down on the floor, head in the carpet..ass in the air between his power chair and the futon that sits at the end of my bed. He had leaned too far sideways while drying his legs and tumbled over the side of the chair. I yelled at Dan, who was in his room at the other end of the house, and he came in to help me get Gary up off the floor. At the time, we didn't see any obvious signs of any trauma from the fall.
     
    We celebrated a late Christmas with our middle son, Joel and his wife and our grandson the Saturday after Christmas. Joel cooked a wonderful turkey dinner, and we exchanged gifts and watched some funny utube videos. Gary was still doing fine, aside from not getting a nap that day. We stayed home on Sunday and then on Monday Kelly was here to care for him for six hours. She called me about half way through the morning to tell me he was having trouble hearing and wondered if I had any of the candles to try candling his ears. I told her I would come home early and maybe we could do that together, as it usually takes two people to do it safely. I came home around noon, and since the weather was half way decent - low 60s by then, we took him out on the patio and I trimmed his hair, and then tried some ear wax removal in his ears and got a ton of wax out of both of them. He still was having trouble hearing but could hear a bit better than before. I decided to wait with the candling and try putting more of the wax removal solution in the ears first and give it a chance to work. By early the next morning, I got more of it cleaned out and then did the candling method. After all that, and removing a bunch more wax, mostly left ear, yesterday morning, he is still yelling at me constantly when he's up and awake - what?? I can't hear you!
     
    I've always thought most of Gary's hearing problems were "selective hearing" but he's never been this bad before. I remember one time on vacation in Oregon, long before he had his stroke, we had to make an emergency appointment with an ear Dr. to get his ears flushed because he had so much hard wax buildup in one of them, his face was actually swelling. I think we're at the point now that I need to get him in to an ear Dr. again, but with the holiday weekend, I can't even call anyone until Monday and then it could take up to a week or more to get him in since our regular family Dr. won't do the ear flushing. In the meantime, he could literally drive me crazy with his yelling - and demanding that I turn the television up for him to hear, which doesn't work anyhow. We had actually blown the speakers on our last television because of his not being able to hear it. I keep telling him it's loud enough to wake up the dead at the cemetery a mile away, and he still can't hear it. We also have a son living with us who sleeps during the daytime hours when we are up and about, and his room is just off the living room, so I don't want to wake him when he has to work night shifts and needs his sleep.
     
    I told Gary last night that I can't do anything more for his hearing problems until we get him to a Dr. and if the Dr. suggests he needs hearing aids, then he better cooperate. He insists he will not wear them .....if that is the case, I told him that I can no longer care for him at home. His comment was "then I might as well be dead." All I could say after that was "jackass." He heard me just fine when I said it ...even laughed, like this is all a game to him.
     
     
    Sarah
  20. srademacher

    I Am the Grinch!

    By srademacher,

    I am the Grinch that stole Christmas around here. I have no desire to decorate, put up a tree, or make any plans for the holiday. It's all a lot of work to me and I don't need more work, I need a vacation. My neighbors were busy decorating their front yard last weekend and asked (for the 3rd year in a row) if they could plug some of their decorations into our outside outlet because they didn't want to run a cord across their driveway. I said it would be okay for that day only until after the contest judging and after that I would need the outlet to plug in my golf cart. My thought was if they had so darn many decorations that needed lit up, then maybe they should have an outside outlet of their own or a long enough extension cord to run up and across their carport to the other side of their driveway. Yes, I am a scrooge ...so deal with it. The neighbor man made fun of me for not having any decorations up, so I went inside to check on Gary and put a package by the front window and set a stuffed teddy bear on it and a stuffed penguin that Dan had bought for our dogs for Christmas. I then asked the neighbor - "does it look like too much?" lol
     
    I did manage to do some online shopping and ship off a package to the kids in Colorado, I got Kelly's (caregiver) gift and a gift for our gal who brings communion on Sundays, but so far that's all I've done. I have the ingredients here to do some baking but don't want all those sweets setting around tempting me when all I've done is gain back weight over the last six months, so I'm refusing to bake any goodies. I cook when I have to, not because I want to and anyone who wants to complain can take over that job! I'll be happy to hand it over on silver platter!
     
    I just can't get in the spirit - it seems it's just the same crap, different day around here, year after year. I also have no desire to go the potlucks lately as it seems that if the parking lots are already full, there's definitely not going to be a good place to sit inside. If we aren't near an exit when Gary has to use a bathroom, we'd be in a real mess as I can't get him in the bathrooms at the clubhouse. The last thing I need after busting my butt to get him cleaned up and out for the evening is to have to deal with a messy cleanup on top of everything just because I can't get him into a bathroom there.
     
    Our roofers finished up the new roof over Dan's room last week, but had to come back this week to clean up the tar mess they let drip down the back side of the house and after-spray they got all over my air conditioning units at the back of that room. I held back the final payment until they got it all cleaned up even though the foreman promised they would come back and do the cleanup. If I had a dime for every time I heard that promise from a contractor who never followed up, I'd have been rich a long time ago. lol
     
    I'm starting to get too grouchy for myself.....maybe I need a nap - I was up at least twice during the night to hold a urinal or let the dogs out. If I'm lucky, I might get 1/2 hr. nap in before someone starts yelling that he has to go to the bathroom again!
     
     
    Sarah
  21. srademacher

    Long Holiday Weekend

    By srademacher,

    This has been a long holiday weekend for us with having Kelly only 3 days last week and giving her Friday off. That meant I got to shower, shave, dress and feed Gary 4 days straight and even though I've been doing it most of the 10 years since his stroke, I've grown accustomed to having Kelly here 4 days a week to do the difficult part of his care for me. Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, Gary slept in late since he had stayed up to watch Survivor and Criminal Minds the night before. By the time he finally got up and I got him showered it was nearly noon. We did not make plans to do anything special for Thanksgiving, so I took him to the casino for breakfast - his favorite meal since he loves his pancakes. We played a little, and just before we headed home, I stopped to take him to the family bathroom. We had nearly a ten minute wait as it was locked when we got there - and someone told me they thought a woman took her husband in who was in a wheelchair. I tried to be patient while waiting but also knew if they didn't get out of there soon, we would have an accident mess to clean up. After a casino employee asked me how long we had been waiting, she knocked on the door and said something to the person inside, and out came another employee with a sheepish grin on her face. It appeared she had locked herself in there on her break and was probably on her cell phone where she could have some privacy - that was until we came to use the bathroom! Very frustrating when people tie up those bathrooms that we so desperately need when Gary has to go. After we got home, he napped most of the afternoon and went to bed early. Most of Friday, Sat. and Sunday were sitting home doing nothing - me cooking and cleaning, him sleeping and our son who was off for the weekend, slept most of the time also. Boring weekend!!
     
    I will be happy for Kelly's return today so I can get out again. I'm starting to feel like a caged wild animal. I have to drop off my Christmas cards at the post office, mail a package to my Mom with some Christmas cards in it for her to send if she wishes to do so, and some stamps for her. I didn't make out a lot of Christmas cards - less than 20 total, mostly to immediate family and a few close friends. And, since the majority of these people are on facebook, I didn't have to write any lengthy letters. Good thing as my carpal tunnel from playing computer games is getting worse with the cooler weather and arthritis setting in the hands. Most of my Christmas shopping was done online last week, so I'm waiting on packages to arrive, so I can individually wrap them, and box them to ship off to the kids in Colorado. Mom is getting a Walmart gift card again, as that seems to be the only thing she really can use to get whatever personal items she needs at her assisted living place. I'm looking for a new lift chair for Gary as his old one has a few good sized tears from hitting the wall with it, or running into it with the power chair, and it's always been a bit uncomfortable for him. He actually prefers my big leather recliner but it's much more difficult getting him in and out of it, since it's not a lift recliner. As for myself, I'm still in need of a vacation, and may just take one for myself after the first of the year - even if it's only a weekend trip nearby - it's still a much needed break!!
     
    Sarah
  22. srademacher
    This past week we lost a friend here in the park. Roger was a very active member of the HOA and worked on all the events in the park with his very active young wife. He was in his early 80's and had been diagnosed about a year ago with leukemia. The last four weeks he had been pretty much homebound with hospice so we knew it was coming, but still sad to see him go. Before being homebound he was still showing up at the Fri. night socials and although movement was slow, he could get out on the dance floor with his wife. Both were excellent dancers. RIP Roger!
     
    Yesterday I heard from my neighbor, Lois, that her good friend, Roy had passed away. He was in his early 80s and had suffered a stroke about 8 months ago. One of his daughters was caring for him at home after numerous trips to hospitals and several rehabs, and we had given them a wheelchair, walker, shower chair and some other medical supplies to help with his care when he came home. His daughter is very close to Lois, and she treats her as a daughter so this was really hard on Lois. I think she spent 2.5 hr. yesterday talking to me about it as we sat on our front porch while Gary napped in the afternoon. I offered to drive her to the services if she needed me to do so whenever they are arranged.
     
    Gary has an appointment early Friday morning with an oral surgeon. He has finally broken the tooth that was cracked by grinding his teeth when he gets agitated..........that darn Bronco game on Sunday didn't help any when they lost badly to the Rams. He was grinding his teeth through most of the second half when it appeared they weren't going to make a big comeback. Dan and I kept telling him to stop and threatening to turn off the game if he didn't. He does not realize the damage he does when he's grinding those teeth, now he will have to be sedated and the tooth will have to come out. It's been about 5 or 6 yr. since the last one was removed, and he had a difficult time coming out of the sedation at that time. This time I will take Kelly and Dan with me to help get him back out of the dental chair and into the car. He will most likely sleep a good 24 hr. after and then will be on pureed foods for a while until we figure out if he can chew his food again. Just what we need with him still having swallowing difficulties from the stroke 10 yr. ago.
     
    Yesterday morning I stopped at the casino for an hr. to pick up one of my "free" gifts that I received a coupon for, and while waiting for the line to go down I played a penny machine. I hit a jackpot over $900 and came home $800 ahead after tipping the gal who hand paid the jackpot. I'm sure all or most of that $800 will go toward paying for Gary's oral surgery on Fri.
     
    Good news came yesterday also - The package I had sent a week ago finally arrived at the funeral home in WA where I had sent my Mom's cremation urn and all the paperwork to prepay her arrangements for when she passes. After all the drama last week of tracing the package and FedEx finally finding that it was sitting in a back room at the local post office, which is why they didn't have a record of picking it up at the Mailbox shop where I had originally left it, they finally got it sent out on Friday with a new tracking number. I had spent nearly a month getting all the paperwork together, after having to send some to two of my sisters for signature and waiting for the return of those pages, then putting it all together with the urn that I had for Mom, and enclosing a check, only to have it disappear from the radar for five days. It was beyond frustrating, and after blaming FedEx for the error, I now think it may have been the Mailbox shop that gave the wrong group of packages to the postal employee that day. They send packages via USPS, FedEx and UPS, from that shop. I will no longer send packages that way, I will now go directly to either the post office or FedEx or UPS stores, even if it means driving farther to do so.
     
    Only other news is that our granddaughter in Colorado, who recently got her car back after it had been stolen about a year ago, has now had it totaled by a driver who slid into it on an icy street in front of son's house. At least she wasn't in the car at the time, but son is very frustrated that they had just finished fixing it all up for her again after getting it back. That was a car with bad "Karma."
     
    Sarah
  23. srademacher
    We got back late Friday afternoon from our trip. Lucky for me that Kelly did all the driving on the way back as I hadn't slept much the whole time we were in CA and could not have driven for six hours and managed the rush hour traffic that we hit when we arrived in the Phoenix area. We took turns driving on the way out and while in CA, and she got up early the first morning, grabbed the car keys I left on the dining table with a grocery list and $100 bill and went to get all the groceries we needed for the 3 days at the condo.
     
    The first night we arrived, we called Gary's brother and he and his wife came over to the condo. Their hotel was only about 1/2 mile away. We visited for a bit and then decided to go out and walk the pier over the beach that was just outside the back of our timeshare building. Gary enjoyed that even though it got a bit chilly at times. He laughed at the sea gulls diving for food on the pier and we watched some fishermen pull in small tuna and the birds dive bombing them. lol At the end of the pier was a nice hamburger restaurant, 50s and 60s theme, so we stopped and had burgers and fries for dinner that night.
     
    On Wednesday morning, we got Gary up around 9 a.m., made pancakes, eggs and turkey bacon for breakfast and when his brother and sis-in-law got over to our condo, we all headed out to the beach for a "short" walk, according to George. Both Gary's brother and sis-in-law are tall people so to keep up with them walking, I had to sprint. I know I slowed them down quite a bit, as my walking at home usually consists of trips from one end of the house to the other or walking from the farthest space from the grocery store door on a good day, or the handicap parking space on a bad day. By the time we walked that "short" walk along the beach (George pushed Gary in the wheelchair), and over to the small lighthouse they wanted to see where there was a small shopping center for sourveniers - I swear we had walked 2.5 miles. We rested a few times along the way, but on the way back I wasn't sure I would make it without my bad knee giving out. George sat with Gary by a picnic table on the beach, since we couldn't see any lifeguards anywhere to get us a beach wheelchair for him, while Ginger, Kelly and I took off our shoes and walked in the ocean. Kelly took a picture of me standing in the water but as I backed up for her to get a better picture of the waves, I got hit by a good one and it washed up to my rear end, so I walked the rest of the way back with wet pants. Gary napped for a few hours that afternoon and then we cooked spaghetti with meatballs, and had salad and garlic bread for dinner at our place. We even had a dutch apple pie for dessert, as I'm sure I walked off at least one piece of that pie! lol Went to bed with stiff legs, but rubbed down with Pain Wizard so didn't even feel it by the time we got up next morning.
     
    Thursday morning we headed off to San Diego for a day at Sea World and met up with his brother there. Again, it was sprint, sprint, sprint from one show to another with a stop between the last two shows for a quick lunch, then off to see the Shamu the whale show. By the time we saw all the shows that were on our agenda, it was time to hit the road back north to Oceanside before rush hour started. We did hit a bit of rush hour traffic getting out of San Diego, but Kelly was driving, so I didn't have to worry about it. She was more familiar with the area as she had traveled there many times, had rollerbladed some 30 miles and done marathons in that area in past years. The brother and sis-in-law came over later for leftover spaghetti so we could eat up the last of the groceries before we had to leave on Friday morning and we visited for a few hours before saying our goodbyes. They were going to fly back to Seattle on Fri. morning and we planned to get out early on the road to home. After they left, we wanted to keep Gary up long enough for his dinner to settle before putting him to bed, so we sat out on the balcony of the condo. There were large crowds of people coming and going from the park across the way where there was a concert with a rock band, so we thought it would be funny to drop money from the balcony and then sit back and watch who picked it up. lol I came up with about six - one dollar bills and Kelly had three. We made them into paper airplanes and launched them one at a time off the balcony as we saw another group of people approaching. Gary laughed so hard I was afraid he would pee himself. Kelly and I giggled like school girls, but we had more fun and it cost us less than a trip to a casino.
     
    Friday morning Kelly and I were up at 5:30 and cleaned up the last of the coffee, dumped out the leftover groceries, took out the trashes and packed up our stuff before we got Gary up and ready to go. We didn't bother to try showering him since he was still half asleep, but washed him up good with a wash cloth and gave him some juice before we settled him into the front seat, reclined him and let him go back to sleep until we stopped at a Dennys for breakfast. The ride home seemed to go much faster than the ride there. Our only incident was when Kelly had to go off to the left shoulder of the road and get back on before losing control in the gravel when some idiot cut us off and nearly hit us. She was alert enough to see him coming toward us and moved out of the way and managed to keep control of the vehicle to avoid us getting hit. I think the guy was dozing at the wheel, but it was a frightening moment for us. We're home and back to the same old routine again. I'm up early with the dogs and doing laundry from the trip and Gary had me up 3 times during the night to hold the urinal for him, and now he's sleeping in.
     
    Sarah
  24. srademacher
    I was hoping to get a good night's sleep before we head out on the road this morning to Oceanside, CA for some serious beach time, but that didn't happen. Every time I plan a trip with Gary, I wonder why I'm doing this again. It never gets easier, and when I don't get enough sleep, it actually becomes dangerous. Thankfully, his caregiver will be going with us on this trip, so I'm hoping she got a good night's sleep and can help with the driving. I got Gary to bed around 8:30 last night, and am dreading having to get him up at 8, showered, shaved, fed and ready to hit the road by 9 a.m. Fortunately for him, he will most likely sleep the whole trip in the car while Kelly and I try to keep each other awake and alert behind the wheel of the car.
     
    We are hoping to get to Oceanside by 4 p.m., get checked into the condo and pick up a few groceries so we can cook dinner at the condo. Gary's brother and sister-in-law from Seattle are flying into San Diego and will be at a hotel near us, so we'll have them over for dinner and a visit tonight. Wednesday we'll have breakfast at the condo and then head out to the beach for a few hours before he tires out and needs his afternoon nap. I'm taking jackets along as it could be chilly in the morning hours, but supposed to be high 70s or low 80s in the afternoon. I might try to sneak out for a massage while Kelly sits with him during his afternoon nap. I'm taking my swimsuit along in case I get a chance to sit in the hottub or can work in a quick swim, but I'm not sure I can fit my fat butt into it since I've gained back some weight from stress eating.
     
    I'll let Gary's brother decide what they want to do on Thursday and hopefully we can all agree on an activity that Gary can participate in. By Friday morning, we check out and make the return trip back home. We don't have to rush the trip home, since Dan is staying home with the dogs and Kelly has her Mom staying with her dog, so maybe we can make a few sightseeing stops along the way. I hope to have a few pics to post from the trip but for now, I'm headed to the tub for a long soak, then it's busy making sandwiches for the road and packing last minute stuff in the cooler.
     
    Sarah
  25. srademacher
    I thought all caregivers knew and understood the importance of keeping the skin clean and free of sores, scrapes, scratches, etc., but apparently it's not as important to some as to others. I have had to repeatedly remind the caregiver to make sure Gary gets wiped clean after having a BM on her shift. There is nothing worse than putting him to bed at night and smelling leftover mess in that area and then trying to clean it after it's dried and fermented all day while he sat in it. I had to give a lesson in buttwiping 101 again this week. I am tired of hearing "I wiped him good" and then finding leftover mess hours later - it's not acceptable when I am paying $22/hr. for his care. It's time for another lesson this week, and this time I will ask to check the cellphone at the door, as I fear she is afraid it will fall out of her pocket if she bends over too far to wipe him properly.
     
    Another lesson I learned this week while shopping at Walmart, is that here in AZ you can't take a short-cut through the Depends aisle as the wheelchairs and walkers are lined up worse than the pre-boarding lines for a Southwest Airlines flight heading to Phoenix. And, look out if someone has a cane - DO NOT get in their way!
     
    After Gary's incident in WA, I decided it was time to get on the ball and get a new DNR for AZ, since the Colorado one is not valid here and we've been here over two years already (wow, times flies when you're having fun)! I downloaded the form from the AZ website, copied it onto orange paper (as stated to make it a "legal" document), and got all the signatures except for the Dr. I called on Friday and they said the physician's assistant who did his last two physicals wouldn't be in the Scottsdale office until Tues. of this week, so I stopped by and dropped it off at the office that morning before heading to my 90 min. massage. I checked back later and she hadn't signed it yet, so I had to wait until the next morning to pick it up. Gary now has a legal DNR hanging on the refrigerator in case something should happen at home. He is determined that he will never go through another trip to hospital, tubes, machines, and all that he went through after the massive stroke in 2004 if he has to continue to live like this, and I have to respect his wishes.
     
    We got an email this week from another stroke buddy's wife - Dennis had his stroke a year before Gary and we met him and his wife after I spent a night in ICU with chest pains while Gary was in rehab. All the stress had thrown my body out of whack and it ended up being a thyroid problem, but they were running all the heart tests because of the stress I was experiencing at the time. I was given their number by one of the nurses in the ICU, who told me we had similar situations and I should contact her for support. Dennis had a massive brainstem stroke in 2003 and has pretty much been homebound since that first couple of years, as she found it too difficult to travel or go anywhere with him. He was recently diagnosed with blood cancer, so they've taken him off all meds and have hospice coming in now. He is about a year older than Gary - but has been through 11 years of Hell since his stroke, not to mention the toll it has taken on his wife. She will keep me updated on his condition.
     
    We only have about 1.5 weeks before we head out to San Diego for a beach weekend. I'm hoping it all goes smoothly as Gary's caregiver will be going with us to help with driving and his care.........but I think I'll be doing the buttwiping! lol
     
     
    Sarah