srademacher

Sue, I sometimes think having the caregivers is more trouble than they are worth. I recently discovered that they are filling out their paperwork as though they are doing everything in the three hours they are here - showering, dressing, feeding, brushing his teeth, etc. when I generally have all of that done before they arrive. I guess they are justifying their presence here, but it upsets me that they lie about it on their paperwork. I also discovered last week that one of them had gone out the side garage door (only because she locked the wrong lock) and I assumed she emptied the trashes, they weren't emptied, so it appears she sneaked out to have a cigarette or use her cell phone while Gary slept. Going mad is not an option, having your care recipient drive you totally insane may be! LOL Sarah

Donna, You gotta love a teenager, but you don't have to always like the way they act. I'm sure she regrets the things she has said to you in the heat of the moment and will some day look back and feel really bad about it. We all know you do a great job with her and if she doesn't think so, she needs to speak to my sons - I believe I have the title of "Worst Mother in the World" and I'm not ready to give up that title!! LOL Sarah

Sue, Sorry to hear about Ray's brother. This getting older stuff is the pits!! Sarah

Sue, The "accidents" are always a pain to deal with. I've learned that if we're going to be out for any length of time and it may be difficult finding adequate facilities, I make sure that Gary is wearing the "pull-ups" just in case. We have had a few incidents when I actually set him on the toilet and thought he was finished, then when I stand him up to pull up his britches, he's still dribbling that's when he gets lots of toilet paper stuffed in his underwear until we get home. Equally important for the caregiver is to time your own potty breaks. If it hasn't happened to you yet, I guarantee there will be times when you're too busy taking care of his needs that you have an "accident" of your own in the process - been there, done that!! Sarah

I am so sorry for the loss of your good friend, but happy that you were able to be with him as he took his last breath. I know how very difficult it is for us to let someone so special go, but we also find peace in knowing that there is no more suffering for them. I hope that you and his family can find comfort in knowing that he is at peace! Sarah

Jean, I hear you - but I thought pushing 220 lb. was bad enough so I've started cutting back on his food intake. I found acupuncture works better for me but, as far as I know, I don't have anything out of place yet, just the muscle strain between the shoulder blades. I finally got the youngest son to realize the toll it's taking on my body and he's off work on family medical leave for the summer to help out. He didn't like the alternative if my back went out altogether! Sarah

Congratulations! It really does go by faster than you think. We reached 41 in April and I think ours was the least expected of both families to make it that long. LOL Sarah

Take advantage of any and all respite time......it's never enough! Sarah

Wendie, Sounds like it's been one rough year for you, so here's hoping things are looking up in the years to come. Glad that George is making some improvements and getting out and traveling definitely helps. Looking forward to seeing you in caregiver chat again when you get the chance. Sarah

wow, congratulations on the improvements - both home and personal. I also am seeing more alertness and awareness at times in Gary, and his speech has improved tremendously in the last few months with the new aid, Rhonda, working with him. Sarah

Ann, I am so happy for you that you are finally taking some time for yourself. I know how difficult it is to find reliable help to do your job when you're away, and am so glad you have someone you can trust to care for Bill. You need to get away more often, but I also know that's easier said than done. Sarah

Sue, Enjoy your respite time - the time goes by way too fast when and if you get it and then it's back to the daily routine. Sarah

Donna, Good to hear that you and Kristi are working on the issues as we all know the teenage years are very challenging for both parent and teenager. I'm hoping you qualify for the walk-aid so you don't have to wear the AFO. Gary won't wear his unless I absolutely insist because I don't want him to sprain or break his ankle when he can't control the drop foot during transfers. Hooray for you for gaining more independence, but please don't overdo it and injure yourself in the process. Sarah

Leah Hope you have a great vacation and get plenty of rest and sunshine! Sarah

Fred, Sounds like you enjoyed the gardening with the granddaughter as much as she enjoyed the time with Gpa. I hope all of your veggies do well and you can enjoy eating them together. I just planted about a dozen hills of zucchini squash and can't wait till they're big enough to pick. I have a whole cookbook of recipes to use them in. I used to can pickles every year when the boys were all at home, but we don't eat enough of them now to make it worth canning. Sarah

Vi, You need one of those large round exercise balls. I use one to roll Gary to the sofa and a gait belt to raise him up, or he scoots on his butt to the stair rail and uses it to pull up as I help by pulling him up with the gait belt. Sarah

Ruth, I am so sorry for all you have been through these past months and I hope that your situation improves soon. It's not easy carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, and you have certainly been tested to the limits. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sarah

Sue, If I had to go that long without my phone or computer service, I'd not only be pulling my own hair out, I think I'd be looking to scalp someone at the company that was supposed to provide the service. LOL Sarah

Fred, I have that one hanging on my refrigerator and it's been there since 2003 when I joined a weight loss program and they gave me a copy of it to hang on my refrigerator. At the time it helped me to lose a lot of weight (unfortunately have gained a lot back since Gary's stroke). I think I posted a copy of it on here several years ago, maybe in one of my blogs but I've since removed a lot of my blogs. Good to be reminded though!! Sarah

Jean, We have defiitely missed your presence here. Glad to hear things are going okay and you're not yet living in your Blazer - where we could all end up if things don't turn around soon. I can totally relate to the stress eating, but I do it all day long because I'm too lazy to get up in the middle of the night to eat. LOL I keep thinking with the new gal here that I'm going to get out more and exercise but her schedule seems to be too busy to find the time for us that I need. I will get my massage today while she sits with Gary, or she'll be doing all the lifting of him if my back goes out. Stop by more often so we don't have to worry and wonder how you and Don are doing!! Sarah

Congratulations, Grandma!!! :congrats: Sarah

Vi, Is it possible to have your husband remove cabinet doors and frame so you can get up to your bathroom sink with the wheelchair? We did that in our master bathroom without doing a major remodel on the cabinets after we struggled with getting Gary close enough to brush his teeth and spit in the sink. We kept the cabinets that we removed in the garage, so if we ever sell the house, we can re-attach them. In our town, local organizations like the American Legion, VFW, Moose or Elks Lodge have volunteers that will do those kinds of things to make your bathroom accessible. As for the chicken dinners from KFC, I think the chicken strips are just as tasty as the regular pieces of chicken and to me a lot less greasy or fatty, and definitely less messy. We just lost my Aunt Kay in September, but since she had moved here over 13 yrs. ago and had tremors, she was unable to eat anything other than finger foods unless someone helped her with cutting up food and sometimes even spooning it into her mouth. As frustrating as it was for her, she loved to eat and never missed a meal. I know life is tough after stroke and I think you do an amazing job of moving forward.

Sue, I feel for you and I know how the reality of it all stinks, but all I can offer is ((((((((hugs)))))))). When I get frustrated or upset about all the things I have to do for Gary, I think about the alternatives to caring for him and realize that in the long run, I'm doing what's best and even though he can't express it, I know he appreciates it. I, too, am human and get very frustrated at times, but as opposed to placing him in a nursing home or burying him, I'd much rather have it this way. Sarah

Sue, I have a keyboard on the kitchen counter and when Gary sits and cries while I'm cooking his breakfast, I turn on the "Crocodile Rock" and start dancing to it while I cook - turns his crying into laughter and makes it worth "acting like an idiot" for the moment. LOL Sarah

Sue, You are a much stronger person than I will ever be. I know you can do this because once you get the routine down it will become normal to you and you won't even think about it. Lord knows you won't have time to think about it. I've pretty much had to do it all for Gary for 4 years and sometimes I feel like I've gotten lost in the process, but until he dies or I die, whichever comes first, that's the way it will be. I keep a small container of the Thick-it in the car, just in case I forget to take his already thickened juices with us when we leave the house in a hurry. And, during times when his swallowing is worse than normal we have learned to seat ourselves or ask to be seated in a corner where there is less distraction for him or for other guests, but we have not stopped living. Sarah