bazane

Stroke Survivor - male
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Blog Entries posted by bazane

  1. bazane
    :happy new year: Hope you are all looking forward to the new Year & I for one hope that 2008 brings some positive changes.
    We have had a bad 6 months as we have had problems with our Daughter & subsequently our Grand children have suffered & Baz & I can't do anything about it which is fustrating however another year is about to come in so a new start should bring positive changes I have not blogged for a long time but have been in here catching up on everyone.
    Baz is doing great,but a lot more has come back so fustration is always on hand,plus it is so hot here at the moment we can't really do anything except keep cool, he really enjoyed a quiet christmas & we have been doing literally nothing much since except the usual mowing of the lawns,keeping watering up so the plants stay alive!!
    We have given up theCommunity Radio as the travelling a hundred kilometeres weekly was getting too expensive, we have taken up with a Radio station based in town which only broadcasts in the immediate vicinity of the town, I have been voted Sponsorship coordinator so it was busy before Christmas organising Christmas sponsorship, we are looking forward to broadcasting our show in the New Year although we can't do live broadcasts anymore it will still be great & Baz is looking forward to it He has been out & about with the 4 guys who are running it They have been great with baz involving him in all the details getting it up & running & he has been out without me for the 1st time since his stroke 3 years ago !!
    I am going to blog more That will be my New Year resolution Happy New Year everyone & thanks for yet another year of support.
    Anne.
  2. bazane

    Winter is Coming

    By bazane,

    Well Winter is on its way, the trees are shedding their leaves fast now & the fire is going every night! It is so pretty here at the moment though, the poplars are pure gold & there is a huge diversity of colours all around town from gold to deep red & in between.
    Baz loves it & when we go on a trip marvels at the scenery much more than he did before the stroke,I felt so sad the other day though when we went down town , he wanted to stay in the car as he was tired but I noticed that he had got out as he was too warm & was standing under the verandah of the shops, he was quite content to stand there as I finished the shopping , when I came back he was looking hopeful at people he knew as they went by but no-one had spoken to him & he couldn't understand why, he said "They don't want to talk to me", I explained that they were ignorant about strokes & felt embarassed so would rather not talk as they didn't know any better, I felt so sorry for him & thank God for our true friends who don't treat him any different than they did pre-stroke.
    No wonder he prefers to stay at home, I don't blame him but wish people were more educated about strokes & other disabilities as they are missing so much out of life by avoiding people that are different!!
  3. bazane
    Well we saw the first Black Swans swimming down on the river when I opened the curtains this morning, Baz was very excited as he loves to see the ducks & swans swimming down there !!
    We are still getting hot weather even though it is nearly the end of March, we will have to remember to turn our clocks back tonight as Daylight saving ends. :Clap-Hands:
    I have a book beside the TV remotes which I write down the tapes I have taped off the TV & what is on the them, Baz started it before he had the stroke & I have carried it on as I would never renmember what I had taped otherwise, I didn't have one written down & Baz must have remembered me saying what number it was, when I picked up the book I noticed that he had painstakingly written Bros & Sisters ( Brothers & Sisters) I had a little cry as it has been 3 years since he has even tried to write things without me spelling it out or telling him what to write !!
    The smallest things mean the most to all of us who are caring or surviving a stroke !!
  4. bazane

    Twice in a week

    By bazane,

    Well I am trying to make good on my resolution & blog more for Baz & Me as it is good to bee able to read all the wonderful blogs & get to know people better.
    Baz is doing well, he is wanting to get out more which is great as we have had a lot of rain here & in the surrounding districrts & the whole landscape has changed everything is GREEN & wonderful, when we go out in the car Baz is in awe & says at least 100 times in our hour journey" look at all the green ' We are so used to a brown landscape as we have been in drought for 3 years.
    It's a shame that some of the Country is still in drought & not as lucky as us. The cows & sheep are in heaven, so full they are lying down contentedly instead of pawing at the ground for every tiny piece of grass they can find, our river was down to a trickle but now is flowing again & we are looking forward to sitting on our balcony & seeing the black swans come down the river again.
    The best thing I did was get the balcony built when Baz had his stroke so there was somewhere he could sit & enjoy the view, it was worth every penny to see the contentment on his face !
  5. bazane

    Back Again

    By bazane,

    It is good to be back as part of a "Family" & I guess that is how we all are united in the same way, I had to go to the clinic yesterday to get my blood pressure checked as it is sky high & the nurse was asking about Baz & suggesting outings etc that he could go, on I told her straight that he would not go, but I would ask him about it she said that she felt I was really stressed , I said no I don't get stressed & she said that she felt we could be friends & she would like to help, After I left I was sitting in the car crying as I realised that I have never really dealt with Baz's stroke & never let any one see how much it affected me, I have just kept really busy for 2 years & pretended I can manage ok with no help, except for all of you guys in the Strokenet & that has been my lifesaver as I have been able to gain so much from you all & all the different aspects of a stroke that I have been able to deal with!!
    Funny how you don't realise some things until someone is nice to you, Baz won't go on any outings with other men but at least I know he can if he wants too!!
    I have decided to look after myself more & get my diabetes under control (actually My Dr said that I have to or I won't be around for TO REACH OLD AGE), that is a good enough reason.
    So the exersize bike is out & I have been really good with diet, etc but it is so hard when you really love food!!
    I will do my best & keep you posted.
  6. bazane

    Missed You All

    By bazane,

    We haven't been on as we had to go away to Sydney, I think I mentioned that we went to see Eric Clapton as Baz got tickets for his 60th Birthday. I was hesitant about going as it was the first big thing we had gone to see since Baz had the stroke but I didn't need to worry , we had great seats & Baz sat with a big smile on his face the whole time we were there, He went to the loo before we went in & thank goodness didn't need to go again.
    The girls showed us a quick way of getting out when it was all over which didn't involve stairs etc.
    I think I have told you before that Baz won tickets for us to go see Eric in New York just after we met in 1998 & it was great but I think he was better this time, just goes to show we all get better with age !!
    Since we have been back it has been one thing after the other, but I made a promise to myself that I would be more involved this year with Strokenet as it really has been a lifesaver to me & many, many others of course & I really enjoy browsing through all the postings & advice etc.
    Baz is doing really well & has started getting his own clothes ready for the day which he has never done before, I think he is more accepting now & ready to get on with life, he hasn't walked with his stick for about 5 months now which is great, I bought him a folding stick but he couldn't manage it & decided to do away with them all.
    I haven't caught up with all the blogs yet, so will do so now.
    Great to be back on!! :cheer: Anne.
     
     
     
  7. bazane
    Well it has been a long time since I posted but that is not to say I haven't been thinking of you all , my computer finally died & I was without it for a long time then of course Christmas came & all the kids & Grandkids!! peace finally reigned last Wednesday but we have had to catch up with everything & of course we are still doing the Community Radio show once a week & the markets!!
    Baz is doing really well, & is still making great Progress (not quick enough for him mind you ) We know that things will never be what they were, but I think it is quite an adventure discovering a new way to live your lives & makes you much more tolerant of people.
    I am looking forward to catching up on all your posts & seeing how you are all doing!!
    We have been lucky with no bushfires near us but Victoria hasn't fared as well fingers crossed they stay well away from us.
    Wev are going to Sydney in 3 weeks to see Eric Clapton. the present the kids gave Baz for his 60th Birthday , I think he is looking forward to going but doesn't like to leave the comfort of home!!
    I hope it will be ok!
    Talk to you all again soon. Anne & Baz.
  8. bazane

    Still here & going strong

    By bazane,

    I can't believe that it has been nearly 2 months since I last posted in our Blog!!! I haven't been able to use my computer much as it has been playing up & boy have I missed it, it still isn't fixed properly but hopefully will go in tomorrow & be fixed.
    Baz has been doing wonderfully, came shopping with me yesterday & helped push the trolley around ,he thought it was great, so hopefully will come more often, usually he just sits in the car, he even took the trolley back to the parking bay with me watching nervously as he crossed in front of cars!!
    I hate this time of the year as it is the anniversary of Baz's stroke ( 2 days after my Birthday)& 2 years since The Stroke...but I think back to how he was when he first came out of Hospltal & how well he has done & have to be grateful he is still here with me...I made him look at some of the postings here the other day & he was amazed at everyone who is able to post & the wonderful support that is here for us all !!!
    We are still doing the hour radio show & he has got more confident but still will not talk I am hoping that he will get back to it one day :Clap-Hands:
    I haven't had a chance to catch up with what everyone hads been doing but hope when the computer is back will be able to...
  9. bazane
    :cheer: Well we are still here, just haven't had a chance to get on the site ( I miss it dreadfully) love to read all about what is going on in everybody's lives & all the new posts posted!!
    Have had a great time catching up the past hour, we have had major car problems (in fact the car has died), we were really lucky as we were coming back from a market 100 kilometres away, I looked in the rear mirror as we were about to go up a steep hill & there were clouds of smoke coming out the back of the car, I decided (typical Libra) to keep driving & hope it would go away**** It didn't ,in fact it got worse so thought I should mention it to Baz (who was in complete oblivion in the passenger seat) he looked in the mirror & said ****We decided we would keep driving as the car was still not missing a beat, when we got to the next country town before ours (where you are lucky if you see a dog wandering down the street) there were crowds of people going into the local hall for a function, I quickly scanned the cars outside there & didn't see any I knew. told Baz to look straight ahead & went through, I looked in the mirror & saw a lot of horrified faces before smoke completely engulfed them!!! We got home alright , thank goodness there was not another car behind us the whole way & the local cop must have been asleep...Anyway the Head Gasket has gone & my mechanic has said it is not worth fixing ...Have found another car on the internet from big car Auction place in Sydney. Have to get it trucked down here (500 kilometres) They are still trying to work out the best way to get it here & I have brought it sight unseen which is always a worry!1
    Well that is our week, hope you have all had a better one.( fingers crossed for a good car)
    Anne.
  10. bazane
    Well they still have not brought the trapped miners up from their trapped cage but they are close & everybody is praying that they will succeed without another catasrophe, what courage those men must have to be trapped miles from their families & not knowing whether they will ever see them again!!!
    We have been at the markets at the weekend trying to get a bit of extra money sometimes I wonder if it is worth getting up at 4.30 in the morning, driving (& dodging Kangaroos) in the dark for little money, but the interaction that Baz gets from seeing & talking to different people must be worth it!!
    We had another talk today about his stroke & he thinlks that it is not worth it sometimes to be here but I remind him that we have always been in for the long haul & if things were different & I had had "The Stroke " he would have been doing all the things that I am doing (& probably better), he agreed that he would have. but still is not convinced that we have a good life compared to a lot of people & I am talking about people who have not had a stroke.
    It is hard to understand why things happen but the old saying , "There is always someone worse off" says it all!!
    Hope you all have a good week , Anne.
     
  11. bazane
    Well we have had a hectic few days....We do markets most weekends & yesterday was a market 50 kms from us. Baz used to do a radio show there on the Community radio & thoroughly enjoyed it & was very good at it.When he had the stroke of course he had to give it up!!
    The Manager etc have been after him to go back but I thought he didn't want too as he always said no, but yesterday one of the program co-co-ordinators came to the market & Baz asked him if he could come back...I nearly died as he has never mentioned it too me, I am afraid I was a bit negative about it & told Baz to think about it some more or at least do it once a fortnight rather than once a week!!But he was adamant & it looks like he will be getting his show back.. I don't know how it will go but I can see me having to do a lot more than I used to do, which was making the tea , knitting & listening to Baz !!!
    I never thought he would want to go back , so I am pleased with mixed feelings as I can see our lives getting busier & busier & as I am the one doing everything now as all you carers out there will identify with..
    Never mind I feel a bit guilty having these feelings but I guess it won't hurt to try...
    Hope you all had a good week . Anne.
     
     
  12. bazane

    April Fool's day

    By bazane,

    This is my first blog as I have been too scared to try one before but have enjoyed reading everybody elses so here goes!!
    Some of you already know our story but for everybody else, Barry had his stroke on the 27th September 2004, it was without warning & he was 58 years of age. (I am 49)
    We live in The Snowy Mountains which is in New South Wales Australia where were retired due to my bad back from Nursing & Baz had a pacemaker so neither of us could work & we did not want to stay in Sydney, so found this unique little town 500 kilometres from Sydney & 500 kilometres from Melbourne, we brought a house & life settled into a good existence Barry had his own music show on the community radio & I read the news & a recipe each week (That was all I could muster after he pestered me for weeks!!)
    Our kids all live in Sydney with the Grandchildren & visit 2 or 3 times a year & we go to Sydney when we have too!We have 5 children between us & have been together for 7 years. We got married last November (14 months after Baz had the stroke).
    It has been along hard road as each & every one of you will know, but it has been a learning curve for us both & I think we have become even closer through all of this.
    I found this Stroke site not long after Baz has his stroke & read it whenever I have the chance & it has given me so much advice & encouragement.
    Baz had a left side Stroke & initially could not talk or walk, but now can walk with a Quad stick & without it when he is not too tired!His speech is great , he sometimes forgets the words for people & objects but we can usually understand what he wants.
    He goes to Hydrotherapy once a week an hour away & loves the warm water, does laps with a noodle around his middle & gives me a run for my money as try to keep up with him!!
    Well I think I have written enough for now, hope it hasn't been too boring.
    Anne.
  13. bazane
    Well we are back from all the Drama of going to Sydney for our Grandaugter's 1st Birthday Don't get me wrong I love our Grandkids to bits but it seems like twice the effort to do anything now that it was 2 years ago ,s you all know.We used to jump in the car (Baz driving) & go wherever the mood took us whenever we liked & no drama,now Baz doesn't want to go anywhere unless it is just on a drive with his own bed at the end of the day!!!
    I will always remember the time he rang me at work(I was nursing at the time)we had only known each other for a few months in 1998 & asked me if I would like to go to New York I said "Yes he said "good" as he had entered a radio competition to win a trip to New York to see Eric Clapton in concert at Madison Square Garden, the competition went for 6 weeks & they had hundreds of people enter but Baz was positive that he was going to win , the night before they were to draw the winning entry I was worried how he would react when he didn't win, the next day at 4.30 he rang me to say they had rung him & he had won the trip I didn't believe him as the competition wasn't to be drawn until 5.00 but it was a delayed broadcast so he taped it & played it back to me at 5 pm, he had won & we went to NY 7& had the best time of our lives it was like a dream us in NY...I never doubted him again,he was so positive he was going to win , & it is his positiveness that has got him back from the stroke to the degree he is today..
    So much has happened since we have been away,Jean has "retired" & so much about everyone else that I haven't caught up with yet.
    Baz has got more independent since we came back from Sydney & showered himself completely for the first time the other day!! Small steps always win !! :cheer:
  14. bazane
    I feel bad when I looked at my blog entries & realised it has been over 5 weeks since I blogged, we have been flat out, but that is no exscuse as most of you are far busier than us.
    I have been catching up on the blogs & everything that everyone has been doing, it has been a great 2 hours & I always feel I am reading about Family.
    Baz is watching his football & I can have a few hours to myself to catch up on stuff, his beloved Manly team are winning & I can hear cheers every now & then from the lounge!!
    I joined Weight watchers & have lost 5 kilos much to my DRs delight & my diabetic Proffesser as I have also got my cholestrol down to normal & I am working on the blood pressure it is hard setting the alarm each morning & getting up when there is a frost to do the exercise bike :cheer: ,but it is paying off.
    Baz has also been watching what he eats & is drinking water again for the first time since the Stroke he only drank it before when he had too.
    Thanks Sue for the comment you wrote on my last blog, I do have access to the radio as we do the show & I promote strokes & Baz whenever I get the chance but there is a lot of ignorance about strokes & people are too busy with their lives to find out about them until it happens to someone they know.
    OOps the score is even on the TV & I can hear groans emitting from the lounge ...
    Baz told me the other day that his mind is getting clearer & he doesn't like what he sees, I told him that all that matters is we love each other & we are both happy..He wants to be able to do more around the house but I told him we are lucky I can do it & we will muddle through.. I will get him to read some more of the remarkable stories here on Strokenet as he feels better when he reads what other people have achieved..
     
    Manly have won , he is happy for another week :big_grin:
  15. bazane
    It's been nearly a month since I last posted & promised that I would try & post more !! I have tried but things just seem to creep on you & before you know it weeks have past, I have hardly got anywhere in my endeavour to get my life better on track except the exercise. I have been trying to do half an hour every day on the e exercise bike & have succeeded most days. It must be paying off as it usually takes me 3 days to mow the lawns but did them in one day last week & I feel better so something must be working.
    Baz is good,trys to make me slow down but now just raises his eyebrows at me as I dash around, he is used to it now & accepts that I will always be like that .
    My Daughter has started University to do her Teaching degree &I have been worried about how she will cope as she has 2 small children & I cannot help her look after the kids or do anything else except be there when she rings & try to give her advice.We have found out that she has been taking prescription pill for years ( she was a heroin addict ) has been clean for 6 years but has substituted one addiction for another.
    She has got off them but has been sick & suffering terrible withdrawal symtoms. She also gave up cigarettes at the same time, so has been twice as bad.
    She is a great girl & it isn't her fault that she got onto heroin,she was abused ( unbeknown to me ) for many years by her Father (my ex husband)
    Thank Goodness I met Baz, he has been our rock but I couldn't tell him about the prescripton drugs as it would have upset him, It has been worrying me sick but I have to have to trust that it will work out eventually.
    No-one knows all this &thank goodness for our Blogs where we can vent without being judged..
  16. bazane

    Been Catching up !!

    By bazane,

    Well I feel as though it is years since I have been on here, have been catching up on everybodys blogs & what everyone has been doing, Jean's always brings a smile to my face & sometimes a few tears as I read about her & Don, Sue & Ray etc.
    We got a new car didn't get the one from the Auction place, got one from ebay & the guy rang that night to tell me he had crashed it!!! It as the hardest thing I have had to do since Baz had the stroke, but we managed to get one from the internet & our daughter brought it down to us (thank God for kids ) :cheer:
    Baz has given up using his quad stick altogether which is great I hinted a few times that he could use it less but he never took mucjh notice, then he saw a man walking around with the same side paralysed as him, without a stick & he must have got thinking & decided to try without it, it has been 3 weeks now, he is also getting himself in & out of the bath now (our shower is over the bath), which is great!!
    We are still doing the radio & have only had a few mishaps , Baz ejecting the CD instead of playing it!! Playing an ad instead of the station ID, but it is good & I have got used to talking now although Baz tells me not to talk so fast****
    We haven't done any markets since the car 'died' The first one wil be on Saturday in our town which I run so not too much pressure ,I can't fit as much in this car as the other one so it will be interesting!!
    It is good to be back reading all the posts & Blogs, I feel as though I know you all & will try & get into chat more. The time difference confuses me with the Host chats etc.
     
     
     
  17. bazane

    Life goes on!!

    By bazane,

    :Tantrum: Well life is still going on, the miners have been brought up safe & sound, now they have to put up with their newfound fame & the race to be the 1st to "get the story".
    Baz & I are still doing the community radio, or rather I am & Baz comes along for the ride, he does the tech side still thank goodness as I would be sacked if it was all left to me :im stupid:
    Our weather has taken a turn for the cold, with rain thrown in as well. the fire is going non stop much to the dog's relief, she gets wrapped up in a doona at night on her chair & if she gets out to have a drink in the night comes crying in to me to get up & wrap her up again :yeahrite:
    Baz has never been able to remember names very well (even before his stroke) & I have always repeated them over & over & Quizzed him, the other day we went past a farm where we have known then people for years & he has never known the right name but said it for the first time the other day..It's amazing how good it feels when something like that happens isn't it ???
    We had a morning tea this morning down the road & then Baz has a DRS appointment in an hour for his Warfarin levels, then we have the radio so it a big day, but he is looking forward to it, I am the one dragging my feet.
  18. bazane
    Well the whole of Australia has been watching the news & praying for 2 miners who have been trapped in a gold mine for 5 days in a small country town, they were found alive last night & even though it will take a couple of days to rescue them they seem to be ok!!
    Unfortunately there were 3 men trapped but one was found dead a couple of days ago & hope was dwindling for the remaining 2 so it was definitely a miracle when the news came that they had been found safe & well..
    I was looking at the joyous faces of their families who have been waiting & praying & it was fantastic to see them so happy, I only pray that they will get them out safely.It makes me feel good to see that there are miracles & we see them every day in all our lives it gives us all the hope to carry on ....
  19. bazane

    Hope this one makes it

    By bazane,

    I have been posting my entries wrong & so they haven't come out right. Thanks Jean for putting me on the right track...
    Well we have done 2 radio shows now & The last one we did Hydrotherapy pool first, so that was a big test, but it was good & Baz managed grea,t thank goodness he knows all the technical side, although there were a few hiccups, on the whole it was good & Baz was so pleased with himself & worked out a few more workouts in the pool that he did for himself!!
    We have the fire going everyday now as it is chilly here, we haven't done any markets for 3 weeks now & it has been great...Back to reality next week with 2 .
     
  20. bazane

    Back Again

    By bazane,

    Well Baz had his first radio show & did very well, got a bit confused but I took over The next time he was good & explained to everyone about his stroke , he was great with the technical side & had no dead air space which is pretty good!!!
    I didn't know whether he would carry on but said that he will, after the show the man that came to show him the ropes invited us back for coffee & Baz wanted to go,but it was dark when we left so I had to drive home dodging Kangaroos which I AM NOT KEEN ON ...But we survived.
    On Friday we had to go 50 kilometres away to volunteer at the Country Womens association Craft shop, we had only been there 10 minutes when it started snowing & within 10 inutes the car was covered I wanted to go home but Baz said no as we would get stuck on the road so we sat it out until it stopped & the road was clear.Thankgodness it is my worst nightmare far away fom home & having to drive in the snow, i feel such a baby knowing that all of you especially Jean have to do it on a regular basis.
    It has been a week of getting out of my comfort zone, which is good in a way...
    Last night I idn't sleep much as my Brother lives in Darwin on the tip of Australia & they were expecting the worst cyclone in history to hit them today but Thank goodness she blew herself out & they only got strong wind..
    It has been quite a week, hope the rest]o this one is ok,Radio show again tomorrow....
    Sorry about the spelling can't find the spell check & it won't let me fix any of my words without
    taking it all out, I'm not very good at this!!!
  21. bazane

    Baz 's first day back

    By bazane,

    Well today is the first day back at the radio station for Baz, he is not a bit nervous & is looking forward to it!
    He doesn't go on until 4 pm which is good as he can have a rest this afternoon before we go.
    He says he will give it a go & if it doesn't work out at least he has tried, I am really proud of him for giving it a go & know that he will do well!!
    We had the children & Grandchildren here for Easter & it was great but the tolerance level has dropped for Baz with people in the house & 3 days is about it!!
    I think that secretly he wishes that no-one came to visit & he had peace & quiet all the time!!
    Anyway will let you know how Baz gets on :juggle:
  22. bazane

    Liberation

    By bazane,

    I think you get to a certain period in your life after a stroke when it is like waking up from an automated world & regaining your sense of belonging , it is 15 months since Baz had the stroke & for all that time I have just been trying to do the right thing primarily for Baz but ultimately for both of us!!
    I kept everything the way it was & tried to do everything the way Baz did it, only in the last week or so have I thought that I can change things to the way I want & might make life easier...
    I might even throw the things away that I know Baz will never use again , Chainsaw Grinders etc as I am sure I won't be using them!!!
    It's funny how you cling to the things that are familiar, because it seems safe & you don'rt want the responsibility of changing them, but now I feel that I can make those decisions & it is liberating like a whole new phase of your life!!
    :cheer: I have to decide what to do next the decision is frightening but I will do it!!!
     
     
  23. bazane

    Thanks everybody

    By bazane,

    Thanks to you all for making me so welcome with my first blog, I feel as though I know you all from reading all about you & your lives I always try & keep up on your blog entries & have got Baz reading them too :happydance:
    Jean you always make me laugh & I read your entries whenever I feel as though I am all alone with all of this by myself You are a very strong & inspirational person in fact you all are & it has helped me cope so much to read all about your lives & know that there are other people who know exactly how we feel.
    It is great to know that there other people from Australia on here too.Thanks Sue, I always read what you & Ray are doing , we have a son in Bateau Bay & have spent a lot of time on the Central Coast .
    We went to the hydrotherapy pool yeaterday fro the first time in 2 weeks & Baz really enjoyed it ,even got some retail therapy in , he wanted to come to The ladies clothing shop with me don't think he enjoyed it much so will probably wait in the car next time!!When we came home (after hassling me about speeding all the way) Baz showed me that his finger on the right hand was moving on its own for the first time!!Has anyone else had this experiencxe with the paralysed side???He is very proud of it !!
    Kim,I still use the old system for a lot of things pounds etc & acres for land measurement it is easier!!
    Well have to go &try & hang the washing in BIG WIND. Anne.