HostAsha

Sue: I see big shifts in your blogs, you are more flowing with life than trying to control it & then feel unhappy about it. Asha

hi : I am glad you are recognizing bad choices you are making. I am true believer in our thoughts & choices we make in life creates our destiny & I believe happiness is a choice we are responsible for our own life & I know its hard to do but whatever choice you are making in current situation just remind yourself that are you are okay with consequences of those choices, poor choices leads to poor quality of life & if you are ok with results of those choices then go ahead make those choices without feeling bad about it. This is what I have learnt from my own life experiences. Would like to know your name, cause I you are somebody not nobody. "as long as we re alive there is more right in us than wrong. like I told you before for me having routine in life helped & that included doing my exercise. Asha

I struggled big time after my stroke thinking why did I survived my stroke in such a bad shape, what's the purpose of my life, having young family at home gave me courage & strength to fight on, in my mind I always thought God wanted me to be around for our young son & hubby, my sister joked at that age of hubby it would have been difficult to find him new wife too lol, which used to crack me up till my college friend reminded me, he got dove so it wouldn't have been too difficult for him, so joke was on me, but anyhow I thought purpose of me surviving was for them. I don't have any clue whats the purpose of my life any more. Though I now don't worry about it either, I just take one day at a time & have fun every day. I enjoy my life to fullest. I enjoy nature, my walks, my friends, my family, everything. I read great line by Tao Chinese philosopher, which says one who persists is a person of a purpose, which makes full sense to me, I persisted right after my stroke thinking about my young family, today life is fun & meaningful in everything I do. Asha

Tracy : All strokes are so different & being stroke survivor still I can't fully comprehend why you feel certain way about certain things, hope I did not offend you by my honest opinions about certain things. you are strong woman. Asha

Tracy : don't let small things bothher you, its all small stuff, in big scheme of things having bird poop on car & car getting dirty does it matter, as long as car drives well thats what matters. Don't feel badly about it, be grateful for whatever help they are doing based on their circumstances. If someone is helping we can't expect more, just have to be thankful that we still have people in our life who cares about us. Asha

Tracy: I am glad you had informative enlightening seminar. all these statistics & cures doesn't mean much to me, I used to get upset initially they could have done something to reverse damage of the a stroke, now this is my life & I need to learn how to play cards dealt to me with maximum joy so that people sharing journey with me not regret having me around is my motto. everybody is different & we all deal life differently. Asha

Pam : Its so hard to find one doctor who will take in-charge of a patient & make sure all meds r prescribed correctly & not causing other side effects. I hate doctors here, every doctor will prescribe medicines to treat what is ailing patient according to their speciality with no regards to side effects or bad interaction with other meds can cause. you some time feel like lab rat. Though you will find one good doctor out of 100s you have been seeing. persistence & patience is a key in all these matters. I pray for good solution for you soon. I know its so hard t walk on when I have that tingling sensation in my feet. Asha

Tracy : your yard looks looks so beautiful with that red mulch. yard work is hard work I can't do so that is assigned job of hubby, I try to do what I can do inside home. beingnobody: I remember how I felt right after my stroke for first 9 months, I did not see reason to get out of bed if I am not supposed to go to work, & do things at home, since hubby hired full time help at our home to take care of our young child, & that added more to my depression I felt I got replaced by paid nanny, my recovery started once I started driving only local, & found this support group & got rid of help & started taking care of things at home, which included preparing lunchbox for our son so getting up early & once I started having routine in my life, my whole outlook on life changed, so I realized happiness is a choice. & I choose happiness over all negative thoughts. Asha

I have read about it, that doing gratitude journal & being nice to others are easy happy feelings booster. I will do my gratitude journal whenever I remember from time to time, but never knew even thank you letter can bring out such a great happy feelings. In my post stroke journey I have encountered ton of doctors most were very nice to us some had better bedside manners than others, but my cardiologist who sealed hole in my heart was way kinder to me & will always have special place in our heart. We are all very thankful to him, & today after 14 years when our son starts writing his medical college application essay & he still remembers cardiologist who did innovative surgery on his mom with minimum downtime. It reminded us of great doctor with amazing bedside manners & who had kissed me on my cheek during our consultation visit with my husband after listening to ordeal we had gone through & now came to him for alternative surgery instead of open heart surgery to fix that hole in my heart. Anyhow sending him that thank you note made me feel so good, hope it brightens his day too. I can see power of being kind & nice to others is biggest mood booster. such simple tricks to do in life to be happy person. Asha

hi there : would like to know your first name, I believe biggest part of stroke recovery in physical & mental is to start doing small steps in this stroke marathon. 1st step to start having routine in life, it does not matter getting up for your tv show & having breakfast while having it, wake up on certain time & go to bed on certain time, add our afternoon chat also on your calendar. 2. make sure to do 30 mins of exercise, be it is walking, cycling anything you can do. it will add up making you feel good about life in general. 3. try to learn something new 4. join support group, I have found blogging here & chatting with other survivors very therapeutic for my soul. We do have scheduled chats here every day afternoon from 3-4EST & evening 8-9EST M,W & F. On Fridays our chats are usually in coffeeshop 5. for me reading spiritual books opens up my world for example I loved when bad things happens to good people , heros journey by joseph campbell. here's wikipedia link which explains bit about whats heros journey. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero's_journey hope to see you around often. I have seen in my own life finding this site was my biggest blessing in life, it made me feel less alone in my post stroke journey. I always found my inner strength from reading others blogs & their heroic journey back. Asha

I love Oprah's super soul Sunday series & love authors she talks to on her show, it opens up my world & I get so many AHAs & feel great about my own journey. This week she was talking to Eat,Pray & love Author Elizabeth Gilbert, who was sharing her life experiences & strength she got from reading Heros journey by Joseph Campbell. In a nutshell all of us are called to do something out of our comfort zone & when we face our fears & accept the challenges given to us, that's when hero is born. & in that challenge lot of time we all get fear whether we will be able to do it or not based on our our fears & we either accept challenge or ignore it, but when we accept challenge that's when hero is born, since this journey is never easy, its filled with lot of fear, people not helping & lot of other drama, but when we rise to occasion something beautiful comes out of this experience. Our challenges & sufferings are our biggest teachers, if we , instead of resisting, go with flow & learn lesson it is trying to teach us, something very beautiful & powerful comes out of that suffering. whole hour while watching show I was going YES SO TRUE. I remember asking God to show me some sign that I am on right path when I had decided to go on disability, & my attention was drawn to logo of college I was attending which was upside down of company I was leaving behind. & I remember feeling at peace with my decision, & today looking it back I feel it was one of the best decisions of our life. today I am actually thankful to all my experiences in my life it has taught me some great lessons & I am thankful for all those lessons. Just today while enjoying our Sunday brunch at home while watching birds on our feeder & feeling so happy & was telling hubby missed all these relaxing morning when we were young, since you are always thinking of what things need to be done instead of enjoying your present "now". My stroke experience taught me to be in present moment. Asha

hey Pam : I was listening to oprah's super soul sunday today where Elizabeth Gilbert was talking about Heros journey, It is journey where we are so scared of future & everything, still rise up to challenge & make best out of the day that is given to us. like Gilbert & Oprah was saying don't waste pain in our suffering, It is trying to teach us some valuable lessons of life which makes us wiser & stronger. If we don't learn valuable lessons from our suffering it's all gone to waste. Asha

Jay : to be able to laugh on ourselves is great tool for happy life & home. Asha

Thank you all of you, I had to write down my worries to get wonderful support from you guys, when sometime I feel so shaky, when he does his own way & not listen to me. but back in my mind I know he will be fine, but as a parent I worry & pray for him. Asha

Pam : when I say being kind & nice to other, sometimes just saying thank you and appreciating some one did something special for us & went out of their way is good enough. I guess thats my personality, I feel loved when I get appreciated by others that's my love language, some people show their appreciation or love by act of service. I feel validated about my job or work when someone appreciates me & says, thank you that makes me feel good. Asha

Thank you so much tracy & Sue , I was getting worried about him, & sometime blame him, instead of showing empathy for his shortcomings I was getting mad at me, not very nice thing to do as a parent I was failing to show my own child unconditional love. Now willl be more csreful & treat him with tender gloves. Asha

Pam : I so understand your plight. It has to be so difficult when you are dependent on others for our basic needs, if one asks for his or her rights than they are bossy & if one doesn't then they don't get their rightful services. you did not ask for this, but this are cards you are dealt with, how about asking for things nicely & appreciating all the work those nurses are doing for every one in the facility. It is not easy being caregiver & who knows their personal life, every one is going through some troubles in their life, so being kind to people also gets the job done. Personally when I work at home or in office if people are nice to me, I won't mind going extra mile for these people, so being kind to others will help too. at home also if hubby says u need to do certain things this way, then I m like "ok u think u can do better than go ahead & do it Asha

as most of you know I am blessed with amazing family, who has great dad who provides his unconditional love to all of us & we also have very bright son who on most days is nicest, wise young man who does right things, but I find it sometime we have to push him hard or ask ton of questions before he will do things which is utmost important at this point in his life, so it just escapes me what is he really scared of, why is he not doing what is required of him to do, to be successful in life. I get so annoyed when after telling him something to do million time & he will say yes & when time comes he will not keep his words, such a childish behavior escapes me. I blame me since its not hubby's quality, that lazy quality is of mine lol. but I have learnt my lessons through some of those mistakes of mine, & I don't want him to go through hardship because of it, why not learn from mommy's mistakes than learning from his own. Anyway I had to vent. I just pray he never pay costly price for his laziness. I tell him he is lucky we are his parents so we won't give up on him & keep on trying our best but be worried when other people start giving up on you, and you loose best opportunities in life. Asha

Jay : congratulations, will check it out.I am glad you are having so much fun in doing what you love to do. Asha

George : wow amazing trip, I have never done motorhome traveling, can you take me along, If you can't then keep on posting your travel blogs along with pictures. life seems good when you are having fun. I was feeling bit down earlier, your blog lifted my spirits. have lots of fun Asha

Happy Mothers day Everyone. hope every one celebrated mothers day in their own special way. I did too, I feel so grateful & blessed to have wonderful son & hubby who made sure that they follow my orders on what I want to do on mothers day :). and we all had great time together. We went to see great Indian movie & I also feel same way how lead role character tells his son to do when he dies, whistle instead of crying when he is gone, that's what I am telling my family too, I m telling my family to do the same, whistle with joy that I lived my life with full of joy. I am thankful for this stroke also which gave me second chance to enjoy my family and this world with complete different perspective. I am grateful for all new opportunities, friends, books I have encountered post stroke which has made the person I am today. life is great once again with full of meaning & joy, nothing I do any more today without appreciating the fact that I feel so lucky to be able to do simple things in life. who would have thought doing home chores & going to bathroom without audience can bring so much joy in one's life, I agree so much with Diana Nyad who says when things gets tough in life you have to find a way. I do feel with supportive family & my own initiative I have found a way to appreciate all days. Since I have seen in my own life after dreadful day sun eventually comes out, it is just behind those clouds, all I have to do till then, is just keep my head above water & not drown myself in self pity. Asha

OMG sarah such a beautiful gift on mothers day, now I feel my story of mothers day quite lame lol. your Dan & you guys as a parent made huge difference in someones life even when going through your own grief. Asha

Tracy : I just wondered have you hired disability insurance lawyer who can fight on your behalf & get your SSDI approved, I have heard from people having those lawyers did help them in getting those benefits, ye there might be some flat fee but at-least you get your benefits. I am sorry you are encountering some setbacks in life, but just dust themselves off you are strong woman can get through this challenge too Asha

Sue : I so know change is very hard like being in wheelchair at 34 or need to use cane now due to meniscus tear, but remember this is card we are dealt with & have to play hand we r given to best of our ability, so right now you have to wear compression socks, but you can still walk dont worry about what others think no one has time to think about others but themselves. people can say & whisper things, we have to do what is right for us. I know it feels like death of how we viewed ourselves growing old, so grieving for it is normal, like everything else in our life change happens in our life whether we like it or resist it, but what I have noticed when I go with flow without resistance life feels like joy than punishment. Asha

kelli : In Bhagvad Gita (Indian spritual book), it teaches us we have to do our duties whatever role (Mom,wife,daughter,girlfriend)we are playing in life without any expectation or attachment to results, just believe in doing right things, & believe God will make sure good things will happen in our life, I know I struggled lot after my stroke when it forced me to retire from the job & made me stay at home mom I realized I feel my self woth if I get appreciated for my work & being wife & mother is kinda thankless job, Only time gets gets pointed out to you when something did not go right. I had my AHA moment when I expressed my feelings of not feeling appreciated by family members for hard work I was putting in raising our son. our friend told us, "do whatever you are doing as your offering to God without any thanks in return, your thank you will come when you see your children on right path & doing right things in life. I used to worry about results before now I have realized as long as I do my job with good intention behind it, things will work out based on Gods plan for his life. & We all are here to learn & grow from this human experience. Anyway in short do right things for your son & don't worry about how hetakes it or don't appreciate you. Asha