HostAsha

hey Marie: I feel so sad reading your troubles with your parents just after your stroke. In all this you can see no one was wrong in their behaviour. you did what you thought was right for you and your kids & your father did what he thought was right in raising his own children. all of us learn from our parents and try not to d o same mistakes they did in raising us. no one is perfect. you need to forgive your parents that's the gift you give it to yourself. Asha

hey Marie: My heart just broke reading this blog I can imagine what you must have gone through that ordeal. I hated it when hospital will ask or go through family and ignore as if you are either dumb or dead. I always fought hard against all those tests where they were still questioning my cognative abilities. I told them 1000 times even if I lost half my brain I still have lot more left than all of you combined. I am so sorry you had to go through so much pain after stroke Asha

hey Marie: reading your blog I realized that it was good when I got treated for my depression right after my stroke. I was broken into pieces after my stroke though after being on my happy pills for few years I decided to wean myself off them and doingpretty good though every day I feel like making choice to be happy or unhappy in my state. Asha

hehehe Janice: no wonder you have more questions for him. looking for opportunity to talk with him more huh. Asha

Marie: wow no wonder you are long time survivor. you didn't give in to your stroke and did what you loved doing.I tried skiing prestroke once but hated it, though introduced my child post stroke and he loves it and I enjoy watching him through ski lodge. every year we make romantic dates by taking him for skiing every saturday. hubby & I sit in ski lodge & usually have hot chocolate & enjoy our kido having fun on snow. I usually take picnic lunch. tthose times are one of the best times of the year with hubby. I am sure your kids learnt valuable lesson from their mom. Asha

Sue: somebody once told me wise words & I am going to share with you. even though we don't like changes in our life we feel it creates anxiety for us & our loved ones. but change means it will be just different not necessary bad but just different. I add my own here & think I have faith on God that whatever changes will come in my life it's for my own good & also God will give me enough strength to get through this. with this thougts life for me becomes more manageble. agreed you have severe problems to deal with it. but for each of us our problems feels the worst. I also like saying "Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff" Asha

Katrina: you will be in my prayers. as I told you before I am taking course to keep me stimulated in life and every time I think about how hard it is to drag my bags & do stuff onehanded I always remember you & tell myself I can do tooif katrina can do. hey congrats on driving. look when u were not driving, u were complaining about it & not enjoying what you still got, & now that you can drive u r no longer enjoying & complaining about other things in your life. trust me none of us has glass overflowing with all our wants, but we need to shift our focus on all blessings still left in life the minute you feel down, start counting your blessings, concentrate on them. you are loved here that's why so many of us try to reach to you Asha

Janice: you should call his office and ask to speak with doctor, it's better ask him now when info might be still fresh in his mind. Asha

SharonLee: welcome to wonderful world of blogging. I agree with Vi too, you should stay out of your brother's business, he sounds dangerous & unstable. let church save him & you give them Keith's contact info & let them save him. you should defintely change your number & if ossible stay away from your house during th time he gets out of jail. Asha

slowe: welcome back as soon as I see your blog I expect Rowe to update his with recipe. life goes on with good, bad & ugly part. Asha

Sue: I get overwhelmed by just reading your todo list. I think you need to go easy on some unessential things like gardening, wardrobe cleaning & as such. I think maybe it's good idea to tell your daughter on the phone all your trials & also let her see some of things you need to do to keep strong image around. but at the same token family who is far & can't help out in anyway there is no point in burdening them with our problems. you can see I don't have magic bullet answer for you, I wish I had though. Asha

hey Katrina: read good books and learn from them. read Miracles can happen a storry of spinal cord injury victim at age 12 still did phd with paralysed below her neck. I am reading this great book by Jerry white and will outline you just basic 5steps try to integrate those in your life to get you into thriving survivor mode then the mode you are in right now. 1. face the facts. the truth allows us to gain persecpective. Maybe it's not bad as we thought? maybe we infact can cope with this nightmare. there is primary tenet in Hinduism: suffering in this life is universal & inveitable, but it's not an injustice. It's simple lesson to help us configure balance, overcome our weaknesses and proceed to change and growth. sometimes our suffering results from our attachments to things and ideas, more than from the loss itself. 2. choose life - crisis and pain can hold us hostage over time but we all still have choice in how we will responde to our circumstances no matter how dire. to truely thrive we must conciously choose for our lives to go on in a positive way. what I have noticed in my life having routine for my life motivates me to choose life. you know sometimes Death seems like an option - a choice in midst of darknes. I can choose to end this now, but is death really a choice? It's saying that our situation is larger than we are.. I myself had gone through all these emotions but by choosing life I think I made intellectual decision. I am now all excited about where my life will lead me. who knows what's next over the hill for you. I say choosing life i made intellectual decision cause we must apply our minds to think differently about our moments of crisis. don't just feel what's happening. think about it,think past it. the threat comes when we brlieve a moment is larger than life. the key to remember that your life is larger than this moment. that is the *beep*[ective we must grasp. all my above wise comments I have written to you from " I will not be broken" by Jerry white book & I haven't even finished reading this book. I hope you look beyound your crisis moment and realize your life is bigger than all these small things. Katrina give yourself & others chance to love you. & I am sure people want to be friends with positive person & not with the person who is always saying "woe is me" hope tomorrow is better day for you. Asha

Doreen: that's such a wonderful news. I am so glad you are going to this meeting, you need that break & you are fortunate to have great son & daughter-in-law who understands that. I guess you have raised your son well. Asha

Jan: your post is so wise and true & I love Maria's comment on it. I still need to accept me the way I am. I am not stuck on post stroke person but I get stuck on I m not better mom or wife, which is not true at all. I am the best mm & wife my son & hubby got. Asha

Kathy: belated 3rd anniversary. give yourself lot of credit. only you can come this far, this site is blessing but you have to have that inner strength to go beyound your loss and come this far. you are one of the inspiring survivor. I knew it you will be fine without Berry, though your blog encouraged me to push my hubby alone for his conference. I want all of us to feel we can handle alone and he should not worry about us. hopefully I will report positives about my experience. I always love your blogs Asha

Katrina: I don't have any wise comments for you. I only know we all are here and survived for a reason & purpose and right now as dark it seems to you, light will enter in your life, provided you are allowing it to enter. accept one thing, life is unfair. bad things do happen to people. only thing you can control is your attitude towards life's circumstances. no one knows why people do what they do surrounding you. we all have come on earth to grow in spiriuality and learn from our life and from our dear ones lives. I know one thing for sure suicide is not answer to anybody's problem. In our eastern way of thinking we believe if you end it before your learning from it then in your next lifetimes you wil have to go through again, and right now we all have more help then we realize. you never know whose life you are touching by just being there. have you tried antideprssent pills and talking with counselor might help too. I agree with Maria about loving yourself the way you are is the must to get love in return. I hope tomorrow is better day for you. Asha

hey Janice: I am actually first time in my life got energized by politics. politics is getting more and more interesting now & the way with banks failing & how Mccain is not helping out his own president. all these things make me realize who is better candidate for our country wait just few months and this will be history. Asha

hey Karen: I was so happy to see your blog. I was wondering about you and Rob for long time, & was thinking about you both in my beautiful Alaska vacation & also since Mccain picked Sarah palin for VP I was thinking about you both. For me I every day discover there is still so much joy in life post stroke too. my son is becoming young adult now, & I am having blast in my second chance of parenting. I was chuckling at your two peas in pod. for us it's same too, I borrow my husband's hands all the time and he borrows my eyesight all the time so feels like we too are two peas in pod welcome back & we appreciate all the support you can give to newbies. I don't know what I would have done in my initial days without support of allpeople here. I think we have all learnt so much from our own journey & can pass on valuable advices to newbies Asha Asha

hey Marie: great list, now know you little bit better Asha

Katrina: I am reading "I won't be broken" book by Jerry white. please read it and try to implement some of it in your life. first and foremost accept the fact that this bad things has happened to you, now what. are you going to sit & cry all days about it. you are still young and still have lot of choices in your life. make a right choices. find out wht needs to be done to fix your grades and work towards it. you can't go on with life feeling like failure and poor me. everybody is fighting hard battle. In my son's school 11 year old boy got brain tumor. trust me even when you think you are the worst off there are far more people worse off than you & start counting your blessings when things feel dark around you. Asha

hey natasha: congratulations on your 2nd anniversary, and glad that you had mini stroke & nothing major & now doctors are keeping things in control Asha

Janice: you are not only one. I used to blog everyday but it was always about how good my life still is post stroke that I decided to give break to other blogreaders who might get diabetes due to my blogs. I no get huge benefit by reading other's blogs, and realizing life don't have to end after trauma. It is just different. Asha

Stu: what's your real name, r u Mr. Pickell. I read the article and thought about you that day. It's great article. Asha

Ruth: I still get amazed by some of you caregivers do for your hubby out of so much love. I am happy that you are going to get some respite and some homecare, you defintly deserve it, so don't feel guilty or bad about taking that ME time for yourself. & friends & family who says hurtful things aren't your friends at all. let's just hope that they don't face situation like yours. after reading all the caregiver blogs I realize I still have ways to go before I could think that I have become enough compassionate person. Asha

Sue: I see your pain & understand your venting. but all I could do for you is pray and send ton of virtual hugs. I am also praying for lot of strength for you to gt through this difficult time, till you find your new normal, and stop fighting with life's flow. I hear person can drown if they try to fight rip current. you need to swim parallel with it. I know easy said than done. Asha