HostAsha

One of the very basic teaching of Hindu religion & explained in religious text of bhagwad gita is so hard. It says do your karma whatever that maybe based on what you are doing, but then don't get attached to results. hardest thing to achieve. our son recently gave important interview of his life. I really really want it to go in his favor. I understand at spiritual level that I should not get attached to his results, but I pray for positive outcome for him & all of us. hope you all too pray for our son too. :) I know I know I still have lot to learn in this life. Thanks, Asha

some days I feel dumbest person on the earth, can't think anything straight at all. on those days I want to just sit & cry for my dumbness. any how if I have to focus on things I still can not do list is long sometimes don't see things right infront of me ok I should scan the area & then I do notice it, but if I need to list things wrong with me list is long 1. don't have any peripheral vision yes luckily its lower quadrant but feel like dummy when I miss things which is right there on the left side of my screen. 2. no use of left hand means can't do anything which person does it with two hands. yes I have adapted well in world living with two hands. I am slowest typer, ofcourse with one hand I can accomplish almost everything with some or lot of frustration based on the day. 3. walk with weird ugly limp, yes though grateful to be able to walk 4. yes I enjoy my post stroke life but I do miss my dancing gracefully. 5. help in kitchen to do dishes ok that's it whining about my troubles are not making me feel any better so I will quit Asha

Pam : I am glad treatment worked for you, that's what matters painfree days. I feel sometimes it's ok to ignore rude behavior of others, by just giving them pass that they must be having bad day themselves so taking out on others forgive & forget that way we can have peace of mind. Asha

Kelli: such a beautiful blog, I know I from time t time attach my self worth to my smartness my sense of humor, but we all have significant value without any job title or our smartness. cause minute you allow your self worth measured by what othrs say or think about you, you gave away key to your happiness. I love Sue's idea of visualization Asha

Pam : hope surgery went well you will be in my prayers for quick recovery, let us know how u r doing as quickly as possible. Asha

As I am growing older life comes up with its own challenges every day, yes you do get blissful, happy moments in between, but it does feel like you are battling fires at so many places. I do have great kido & husband, but still out of nowhere kido comes up with this excellent business idea & he thinks that will make him successful & richer than mark zukerburg(facebook prodigy). he thinks why study so much & work so hard for his medical degree while he has this golden opportunity in his hand to make it big, not realizing there r so many people who have failed in their new business venture, he does not understand even when trying to get things done from others, you should be able to understand fully & able to do yourself. anyway I know God is incharge & he will take care of all us. just wanted to vent. I just pray he makes right choices & do right things. we both believe there are no short cuts in life to make big money. you have to work hard in all field you chose to work in. Asha

as all of you know I enjoy company & love to crack jokes, I thrive when I am surrounded by friends. this past weekend hubby's college friend's son was getting married in NJ, so lot of hubby's other college friends were coming from all around world to wedding, we hosted lot of his friends at our home for wedding. & we had so much fun. I had made lot of food preparation in advance & kept it ready so that we could spend time together talking instead of cooking & cleaning. luckily all enjoyed my cooking boosted my confidence in myself. for the wedding his college group prepared one dance item & we practiced for two days & performed on day of music party. I have never seen hubby dancing so well got lot of cheering & encouragement when we all danced on the floor. wedding was planned & executed so well & we all had so much fun, it brings so much joy even now thinking about all witty remarks & jokes we were playing on each other. In the beginning when this was all in planning phase I was not certain about my ability to handle & take care of so many guests at our home. but hubby felt we should be able to pull it off with help of his other college woman friends. & I did. by end of it they were calling me teacher cause I was always telling them what to do next & how to next. It was great spending quality time with all of them after hearing about all of them from hubby all the time. l would have never thought or even imagined that life will b this blissful after stroke. first & foremost thankful to my husband & kido for putting up with my antics, without both of them life would have been so dull. every time when our kido comes & hugs me without any reason I feel so grateful to be still here & enjoying life with all this abundance Asha

Donna : so good to read your blog, you are on right path. now is the time to rediscover yourself & in the process you will find something good which will bring lot of happiness in your life back again. change is always hard but sometimes that is in our best interest. you wait & see & will tell us one day that this turned out to be master stroke of your life. best is yet to come. good to have great supporting family. Asha

As you all are aware I enjoy spiritual reading & agree with bhagwad geeta, buddha, jesus philosophy. give myself pep-talk every time I feel like giving up on anything in life. my biggest one is, "choices I make today will create my destiny." & my choices every day is dependent on what brings me satisfaction. & doing things right for my family does make me feel happy. If I get immediate thanks or appreciation it makes me feel good right away. but I have learn that some jobs like raising your child right seeing them successful & happy won't happen overnight. I will see results later in my life. so doing right things today for my family matters today. like I keep on telling our son if you want anything in life give your all as if, if there is no alternative. once done your job right then don't be attached to results. whatever is the outcome accept it realizing god has made better plans for your life. I believe in this wholeheartedly. seen in my own life with my stroke & how my life has unfolded after it. Everything that has happened in my life including stroke is for my own growth. life has become so meaningful & great again.

Sue : I am always so happy to read your blog, it feels like getting letter from your friend. Through your journey as a caregiver I learn lot about my husband's thoughts, & always tried to give my best in whatever I do. I learn valuable life lessons from your blog. Thanks, Asha

Kelli : Since every brain injury is different & so must be depression & other mental illness. For me in my midst of depression in the beginning I needed reason to get out of bed & do things. & for me my family my son is most important person in the world. I refused to allow my depression or stroke to mess up our son's life & future. in my mind he deserved better parent. in my mind God has left us parents in-charge of our children & we have to do our best as parent. want to give our son all opportunities in the world so that he can have better life than us, like our parents did it for us. I am reading this great book "power of habit" by richard duhigg. read it it will open your eyes. Sometimes you just have to get up , get dressed & show up for your life energy or no energy. your family deserve that. Asha

Its Saturday I am surrounded by my family who I love dearly yes sometime they do drive me nuts my mom, brother, sisters, hubby & kido every one lol. but I love all of them with whole of my heart, & can't imagine my life without single one of them. Anyway today its rainy day. made sure hubby did not put his early morning alarm on weekend & he listened :D. So woke up on reasonable time 7:30am feeling happy & good about life. Today its rainy day which means lot of birds on our feeder & free entertainment for us during our breakfast. of-course it was just two of us since kido is owl & we both have become that old couple early to bed early to rise. just other day talking with my best friend & reminiscing our vacations together. We both were like man never in wildest dreams we had envisioned life will be this great. God has been so kind to us. I feel so blessed to have such amazing partner in life which makes life so easy even with disability. Asha

ok today is bit of blah day nothing I can do quickly. I am slow in learning, person I carpool with who is my brother not very pleasant always ready to pick fight so while carpooling he will rather listen to his sports radio station then talk. Anyway yesterday I almost lost balance while getting out of car luckily able to grab person near me & did not go down. but I know falling with me is very very easy. my ankle from my car accident finally healed to be able to put weight on without feeling pain. so life goes on. On the pleasant side kido is coming home tomorrow for his summer vacation, though he is adult now & busy with his own things, he will be studying for his medical entrance exam, so we will be not travelling anywhere this summer. Asha

Nancy : you are fighter & survivor. I know it hurts when survivor is so rude to you, but think of frustration level of him that that rude behavior comes out. yes agreed being survivor does not give you pass for rude behavior to any one. Asha

Sue : love your blog, you sound content & happy. I am so happy for you, you are beginning to think like me now. Asha

Pam : I don't think it's intentional. people don't remember others troubles. I bet she is seeing lot of patients in nursing home, /it will be hard to remember each patients medical chart. Asha

Kelli : I am glad you are finding your alternatives online, I know elisabeth hasselhoff was educating every one on view about her gluton problem disease, how finally she herself diagnosed & was managing with her food had wrote book on it too. Asha

I am by nature fun loving person like to be always laughing cracking jokes on myself or hubby. hubby can find good in any dire situation where as I can not, but having him by my side, I know we can get through anything in the world. any how some days I feel so grateful to be still here & love my life, some days feels like blah. I guess that is how life is for every one. In summer hubby usually play volleyball with his friends in park while I walk in their beautiful walking trail of park. ran into some woman who told me oh great keep on pushing & if you exercise your hand then maybe that will start working too, I get very offended when people assume & make that kind of comments, though after talking with her I found out she was brain surgery survivor too though for her everything started working thanks to her therapy was her claim. though knowing she was survivor that made me less angry though I educated her about how every brain injury is different than others, & you can not compare your recovery to mine to make any judgments on it.

Pam : you are amazing mom, caregiving is not easy. So many marriages break apart & I bet it is much more harder for kids who are just learning ropes of life & their own life. you all made great decision I know its not easy on you but still doing right thing for their children is sweet mom Asha

wow so creative & beautiful Asha

Yesterday We had major head on collision car accident. airbags from all sides popped up luckily we just got whiplash injury &back & neck pain. It was surprising we came out of unscathed from that accident, & still here to count our blessings. This was my new Subaru car with all safety feature which saved us from getting seriously hurt. looking at my all past accidents, stroke, it feels like I am cat with nine lives & feel invincible :D. I have gotten hit by 18 wheelers & did not even get whiplash back then, then got hit by car while walking on walkway & still here. in between there was stroke & still here & thriving. So I got feeling my job here on earth is still not done. positive thing out of all this, that our teenager son called me & was so worried about me, telling me mom don't do this I need you made my day. I told him not to worry I still need to dance at his wedding & play with our grandkids. So I am still here & you all are stuck with me too Asha

Terry : welcome to hidden jewel of strokenetwork, our blogging world where if you come here often, you will never feel alone or different. Keeping busy in activities you enjoy is good thing. I found blogging & chatting with other survivors very therapeutic for my soul. hope to see you around often. Asha

Tracy : you are doing great, focusing on positive things you can still do does make you feel better. life is all about adapting to new changes brought in our life. you must be o proud of your daughter that she is doing so well on her ow. take the bow & credit for raisng her well. Asha

Kelli : So sorry for your loss. condolences to you & his family. May his soul resi in peace and have fun with princess leia Asha

Sunday is my favorite day. It is my own spiritual awakening day with super soul Sunday. I love waking up late on Sunday morning & start my day with nice cup of coffee first with political shows & then enjoy my super soul sunday on oprah's OWN channel to cleanse myself of all dirtiness of politics lol. As you all know I take whatever I like from all religions & believe all paths lead to one Supreme God. I am not religious person though I am spiritual person. According to our Hindu scripture our Karma creates our destiny, that was very hard pill to swallow for me after my stroke thinking why me & feel ing very helpless that it was in my destiny to go through this hardship in life. I found comfort in Christian beliefs that Suffering in life wakes you up & makes you the person you were meant to be. While going through Suffering asking What this trouble is trying to teach me in life. How you are going to react to this situation made me feel much better and most of it in control of my life when I was feeling so out of control & helpless. How would you react to your situation was most powerful tool for me to snap out of my why me thinking. Asha