HostAsha

Wow Sarah : Happy Anniversary to you both. you both look make beautiful & handsome couple & you got married before I was even born so wow long time married couple. ofcourse that means gone through so many ups & downs of life together. Enjoy your day together. Asha

life feels so fragile sometimes & you never know when your number is up. recently in our neighborhood very young guy age 45 died of sudden cardiac arrest, he leaves behind two young kids & wife. we never knew the family but went to their home to give our condolences. It feels so sad to meet such a young family to go through this big loss in their life. while walking back hubby & I were talking & were saying how given opportunity she would have rather have stroke survivor then no husband at all.I remember right after my stroke when future was so uncertain I was thinking dying would have been so much easier than surviving this stroke. but yesterday after meeting that young family & seeing their grief I shivered to think my family came so close to go through same predicament 12 years ago. life feels so random sometimes. Though today after 12 years on this journey we have gone through our own ups & downs & came out stronger as a family. Most days I m grateful & happy to be still around my lovely family. & look forward to playing with our grand kids & memorable vacations & our walks. I m thankful to stroke which woke me up from my sleepwalking through life & to be able to appreciate life's little wonders Asha

Katrina : so happy for you, I am so glad you persisted through your darkest time to enjoy this happiness. congratulations on new job & boyfriend. In lifeall of us go through some good time & some bad time during both times important to remember this shall pass too & it is my thoughts or outlook is making this situation look worse or best than it is. enjoy the journey brave one. hugs from Ashaaunty lol

hi ruth : click on http://strokechat.net/%C2'> enter your user name & select flash & then click on connect button a chat window will show u & in ledt side of window you will see room click any rrom you want to enter & you wil have option to select join room or refresh select join room & you wil be in that room to chat with other chatters. hope this instructions help & we will see you soon in our chatroom. Asha

hey Stu : Thanks for updating your blog, congratulations on your 10 year anniversary & good luck with your upcoming move with your kids. life post stroke is just different not good or bad just different Asha

As we are going through yet another change in our life we moved to our new home & started preparing our old home ready to put on market for rent. I used to get overwhelmed with amount of work it is involved in moving into new home & preparing things for all that is involved. I was admiring hubby's ability to keep calm in chaotic situation, when so many balls up in the air how does he stays calm & not buckle under pressure. he shared with me good technique on how not to get overwhelm, & Now I am following it & that is making me so relaxed about all this uncertainty & change life brings in our life. his trick is his comparison with car headlights with which you can just see 100 feet on the road & if u just keep on driving that 100 feet with headlight eventually you will be able to reach your end destination without able to see your end destination. I loved his comparison & now following it to T don't have to worry about end goal just keep on doing my part of what I have to do that particular day things get done. Slowly & steadily we are in much better shape in settling in our home & also cleaned up our old home so that agent can do their part of showing it to clients. with this moving I get so much feeling of acomplishment, every time one room is organized it feels great. Asha

Jay : that's amazing. you are doing amazing job as stroke ambassador giving hope to survivor who is so scared of their future in their initial [phase of recovery. I bet its exciting to see the project you developed in your career is doing so well. Would love to meet you some day. Cheers, Asha

We finally moved to another home, it was lateral move just moved few houses down the street in better location and next to my brothers family, so it has added advantage of being there for each other more so. initially when hubby was keen on moving to this place kido & I both were not so much on board. I understood his reasoning so went along with it. but in the beginning was not very happy with amount of work it created in packing cleaning boxing, ofcourse he did lion share of work * I did where I could. we had family help us move in packing & boxing and for heavy stuff hired movers who did the job. Also family helped us in setting up our kitchen & bedrooms. Though first few days it felt like I m not making any dent in unpacking things just spending time in looking for things. Though finally got everything set up for my liking so able to find things & making it ours. during this move had another AHA moment on hubby's trick on not getting overwhelmed. since he was just taking care of work which needs to be done & not think how much is still need to do. you don't need light to see your end destination, you can move forward with your 100 feet lighted up with headlights. I feel this move brought us all more close kido also helped like an adult and consoled me when I had meltdown with amount of work to do, Ofcourse in my story all ends well we are enjoying spring weather all around our home while I m enjoying unpacking of boxes & feeling of accomplishment you get when you can finish organizing one bedroom at a time. So all is well in my qorld now. Asha

strokewife : you write so well, are you writer ? I love & enjoy reading your blogs very thought provoking & fun to read blogs. I knew Cinderella story & now love it more thanks to your backstory about how attitude matters in our every day life. Being survivor is not easy but thanks to caregivers & spouses like you we survivor thrive in our post stroke journey. I hope to meet you one day in our chatroom Asha

heather : your surgeon sounds very smart guy & you look well informed patient. hopefully everything will work out as you expected to. you will be in my thoughts & prayers & keep us informed how it al went. Asha

Sandy : love love this blog, you nailed it. we should not fear word new normal it is indeed our second chance to appreciate & enjoy life to fullest with our loved ones. I hope & pray you enjoy your this new retirement years to fullest. Asha

Debbie : seven years wow happy seven year anniversary hope none of you have any itch lol. I still remember your comment to my post when you were so overwhelmed by so much happening around you & wondering when will be bruce independent like me, & now I already see that. you both have paid your due in this post stroke journey, now its just time to enjoy ride. Asha

Pam : my thoughts & prayers are for your daughter & your family. god works mysterious way in bringing you & your daughter closer. will keep you all in my prayers. Asha

Strokewife : I really appreciate the amount of work caregiver has put it in getting home to little bit of normalcy to all us survivors. I still think & say God knew what he was doing when I suffered stroke & not my hubby, I don't think I would have that inner strength to hold the fort till he recovered his bearing like he did. As a caregiver you have to step out of your comfort zone so many times & accomplish things. I sometime feel I got easy deal in this our stroke saga. I seriously feel all caregivers who decided to stay by their survivor are our guardian angel. u r so right had we known troubles of teenagers no one in right mind would have gone on having kids lol. seasoned caregiver on this site had her signature caregiving is not for sissies & I can fully agree with her while raising our only teenager child & he is saint most of the days lol. Asha

hi strokewife : I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. but things will not be same like it today & it will improve. though I will also suggest one thing for you to do as a caregiver which will help your survivor & yourself. please get your survivor to help you in any household chores which he can do safely like laundry, paying bills, anything he can help you out. It has two fold benefits, one is it will help one less item from your overflowing to-do list. and it builds survivors broken self esteem. So it is win win situation for every one involved. post stroke is all about life being different though its not good or bad it will be just different. I am sure once you do that you will love the laundry day. Asha

Jay : I am so happy you are doing this voluntary work & I can so relate with that patients commet how he wish to never see you again lol. thats was so truthful emotions we all had when we released from hospital after long time, but I am sure will remember & bless you after finding their new normal at home. you are truly blessings wherever you decide to go in your life's journey. Asha

guess what power of social media I connected with my girlfriends after 30 + years. I am so excited. Its fun to catch up on each others lives. I know I will be able to meet them in person soon. school friend of mine sending message on facebook for past two years & I finally saw it after two years, I don't know how I never saw it before, but now that I saw & we connected. It feels as if we never lost touch before. So I am happy camper again. we can share our joys & sorrows with each other now. our moving to new home is on track since we are not under pressure to sell current home so we are doing based on how much work we can do every day few shelves at a time. I get overwhelmed looking at amount of work involved & procrastinate hubby is much better than me in getting work done. though together we are making dent together & will move soon & then huge work of unpacking. I know my problems minuscule & they r not disaster just inconveniences. but I guess to each one of us our problems are biggest. Asha

Hey carol I can so relate and understand what u r saying I went through similar trouble accepting my new normal hell I was perfectly happy with my old life loved my job friends had great family I did not ask for this abrupt change in life used to hate psychologist who once told me life wil be different after stroke she forgot to say not good or bad it will b just different.you are thrown this curveball in life and only choice u have is how will u respond to it I strongly feel happiness is a choice and just because how u accomplish certain things in life does not diminish its worth. So for me I feel life is more meaningful and won't take a single thing for granted anymore. You have to make best lemonade possible out of lemons life gave u Asha

strokewife : wow you are gifted story teller & love love your analogy of broken angels. you had great caregiver your mom in your life so your husband is so fortunate to have u in his life. with caregivers like that very soon your broken angel will b fixed & you guys will b able to create & enjoy your new normal. love Asha

Sandy : wow what you created is so beautiful. I was never artistic person & after stroke with no left hand not even incline to learn it though tried hand at water color painting & felt aggravated that I was spoiling nice white paper so I sticking with getting joy out of learning analytical things like accounting, economics, I guess once a herd is always nerd even after stroke lol. Asha

jay : Nature has the most healing power. I enjoy northern cardinals coming every day on our bird feeder always makes me day makes me happy to be still here. Asha

congratulations Pam. life is journey with period of good & bad time. we just have to hang in till tide changes. I believe in something better is going to come out of this dark period I just can't seem to find it right now, but God has been always kind to me has shown me through out my journey everything happens in your life for your good only, its just that with my limited knowledge not able to see best is yet to come Asha

Such a beautifully written blog. It should be required reading to all doctors & future generation of kids who wants to become doctor. I am going to make my son & his friends read this blog since they all are in premed track. reading your blog I can imagine what my husband must have endured when I was going through my ER drama. Asha

Strokewife : so so loved your blog. I know first year is the hardest of all for every one involved, & it does test limits of every one & their relationship. no wonder so many marriages break apart or become stronger due to adversity in life. or survivors wanting to give up & commit suicide. I know I was there I never thought I could endure that first year, I truly hanged on my caregiver's strength during that first year till I found my own. I remember hubby telling me to hold on tight & don't get drown in this sea of despair. things will change, nothing lasts forever good time or bad times, I am so thankful I believed in him & his words. & held on tight by his collar lol. & now today after 12 years on this post stroke journey I feel stroke as just speed bump in our life's journey it slowed me down to enjoy scenery along the way. I am grateful to be around my family & friends, & life is more meaningful today than it ever was before. enjoy this extra day to build special memory with your loved ones. I felt stroke was lowest point of Ferris wheel in our life's journey now ride is going up. so enjoy it together,things r going to become better. you can still enjoy life after stroke just little differently than before. As a caregiver make sure to make your husband as independent as possible more he does for himself & family its better for him & you. you can get your well deserved break & he will feel great about being still around. Asha

hi carol : you write so well, and you are so well on your journey of acceptance. I feel you already know what I learnt in my stroke journey. I stroked at age 34 which left me paralyzed on my left side & retired me from the job I loved. I never knew so much of my self worth was attached to what I did and how much money I made prestroke. I never thought I would find joy in living again, wanted to strangle any one who would tell me it will get better life will be good again just little different. man used to drive me to wall with anger. Today after 12 years on this post stroke journey I myself feel stroke was just a speed bump in our life's journey. It slowed me down to enjoy scenery along the way. life is just different today not good or bad who would have thought just doing those ordinary things with your family along with able to go to bathroom on your own without audience is so extra-ordinary. I found blogging, chatting with other survivors very therapeutic for my soul. Also having routine is must to find happiness again. Also being impatient nature also helped me become as independent as I could. I feel having stroke made me better mom & wife. t made my marriage stronger. hope to see you around more since I m official blog junkie they have saved me many times. they provided strength to fight on when sometime you feel weak to go on. Asha(46 year old survivor)