HostAsha

David : don't give up on group & let them know that you had stroke So sometimes you do loose your thoughts. People are usually kinder & nicer than we give them credit for. Asha

We visited India after 3 years to be with family after loosing my brother in law month ago to massive heart attack. It was nice meeting every one after so many years. It felt good to be there with every one in this grieving time. This is the first time I had major jet lag in India. It was funny by the time I get used to new bathrooms it was time to visit & stay at other relative's place lol. So next time I m promising myself that I will stay put at one place only. kido wanted to be alone at home, and he did pretty well, did not miss us at all, he had taken care of laundry, dishes everything & went to school on time So now I know he will be fine when he goes away to college. I loved Indian airports way better than US airport. Asha

Lenny : you have most amazing & thoughtful wife who knows you so well to give you gift she knows mean so much to you. Enjoy your vacation with your lovely wife & post lot of pictures Asha

that will be title of my upcoming book. Yesterday while discussing about this with my husband, I realized with just with this master stroke my life is on such great track. yes it was turbulent few years right after stroke, but once all the dust settled & things have settled in our life. I can realize God's kindness in our life of how things worked out for us. I am so fortunate to have amazing husband whose love & strength I hanged on dearly till I could find own inner strength. So anyway now that I have book title I am going to start working on my book which will talk about my physical healing & spiritual awakening by going through this adversity. Asha

Lisa : congratulations, I know for sure this step even though feels so hard at this time, will turn out to be best decision you made for your life. best of luck. Sometime when God closes door for us he wants us to find some better window of opportunity, but since we are so afraid of change in our life we ignore his gental nudging. So please have faith everything will turn out to be in your favor. you will think how do I know this. I know this because I have seen it first hand in my life so just relax & enjoy your free time. Asha

Katrina : I am so happy for you. I am glad you got Lulu.having pet or children is huge help, it makes you take focus on some one else other than you. I am glad you are seeing firsthand that in life you do get some good days & some bad days. when going through bad day just remember sun always come out & is just hiding behind cloud on bad days, & will come out eventually so just hang on those tough days. Asha

mctrouble : I also tried going to work & saw attitude of my coworkers & spervisor change towards me, I realized going to work once a week was bringing more stress than joy. I realized quickly in privte sector if ever there was crunch time my job will be first on chopping block & I won't even get my disability benefits which I was entitled to, so I made decision to go & take my llong term disability & SSDI. one of the best decision I did for our family. ofcourse I had hard time after to get adjusted to my new life since I never knew how much of my self worth was attached to money I made. but today looking back it was one of the best decision I did for my family. So do what feels right for you & your family. things will work out in your favor Asha

Jeannie you better update us with your happening of 2014 you have gotten me all curious now so update us with another blog Asha

Sue: ofcourse you were missed sorely in our blog world, I love your blogs & encouraging comments to fellow bloggers. recently I lost my brother-in-law to massive heart attack. I can imagine how hard it will be for my sister-in-law to navigate widowhood. Ofcourse things are different in east since children still live with parents & take care of parents in their old age. but emotional trauma will be still same of loosing soulmate after 40+ years of togetherness. I hope & pray you find contentment in your widowhood journey, and I can tell you are on right path. Asha

Yesterday I watched Doctor Oz show where he interviewed mother of 29 year old brittany Maynard terminal brain cancer patient who exercised her right to die at home. I am so conflicted with that choice. at one level I can understand the decision, since I know that same feeling right after my stroke, but today standing at the end of tunnel I question that decision whether it was right thing to do. I know right after my stroke when I was dependent on others for everything. It was emotionally so draining, that time it felt like had I died that day then I would not have been not burden on family & they could move on with their life. but fortunately that did not happen, & I am enjoying life with complete different perspective. life post stroke is more meaningful & joyful. love the emotional & spiritual growth that happened after facing adversity & coming out of it alive & stronger than before. So I wonder whether decision that 29 year old woman took was right decision? what do you guys think ? Asha

On Friday the 13th we Got worst news of our life Our Brother-in-law passed away in India due to massive heart attack. hubby has very big family and they are all in India. I stayed at my inlaws place after marriage due to visa issue for a year so we both are very close to his side of family. With New technology like video chatting, what's app our whole family is extremely close. So his sudden death was huge shock to whole family. In my 25 years this is the first time I saw hubby crying uncontrollably whole day. he was planning to come for our son's high school graduation We were so looking forward to family members coming to visit us. he was building huge bunglow in our village in India & we were planning to have picnic of our whole family (which is 75 + people there when we go next to India. I can't believe he is gone from us at young age of 65. He was such a straight forward guy, will tell you the truth & I see same characteristics of him in my hubby. lived very simple life enjoyed his family & raised his kids well. We are going to miss him a lot. I can still hear his voice when I close my eyes. love & miss him dearly. Asha

cat : I know when adversity strikes we all have tendency to find someone to blame and with ton of whatifs. for lonest time I thought I must have done something bad in my life to deserve this, till I read when bad things happen to good people by harold kushner. It opened my eyes. simple message in his book is God does not play dice & God does not do good or bad things. Things just happens God gives us strength in right form of people and whatever we need to get through this adversity. I also feel all of us have immense inner strength within us, sometimes when we are not able to retrieve it since we are in midst of it & that time God provide us resources in our life to retrieve that inner strength. I hope you stop blaming yourself for Mike's condition. God works mysterious way in every one's life Asha

Sarah : you need secretary who would keep track of all balls up in air lol. I don't know whether anything else would help lol. Asha

Pam : I am glad you are feeling better & your pharmacist found some drug interaction hope you go to doctor soon & get pharmacist's report for him so that he can fix your drugs with right drugs. does keeping legs elevated helps in swelling? be your medical advocate & fight for your life, there is light at the end of tunnel. you are in my prayers. Asha

Sue : I love your blog & feel same way. I tell my nieces to enjoy those soccer practices those music lessons soon they will grow up & you will looking at colleges & they will fly off the nest & you will miss those ordinary moments. Its so important to remain in present moment instead of going to past or worrying about future. I am so going to miss our son Asha

Katrina : I am so glad your outlook on life has changed completely. you are so focusing on what's working in your life right now then what is not, that is key to happy content life. so happy for you Asha

Julie : I am so glad he is coming home, hope & pray you are able to handle the stress of caregiving Asha

Pearl : at our home it was opposite given choice my husband & family would have rolled me into cotton & stay on bed so that I will never get hurt again. The day I got rid of all the help at our home & started doing more for myself & our family. my confidence & my self esteem started rebuilding. More I did at homeit made me better in adaption & relaxed my family around me too. Yes first time when I try to do things with just one handed & limited vision it was difficult, but more I did it easier it got & now I m expert in doing things single handedly. I have strict intstructions to hubby no help unless I ask for help. It has served all of us very well in my recovery journey Asha

Pam : I give credit to my teenager & hubby for my good recovery & being able to do everything myself with just one hand. I think being impatient & not waiting for things to get done in their time made me able to do more for myself & our family. So even though it was frustrating at the time. I can look back & thank them for my amazing independence & able to find work around to do things one handed. I was so happy when I figured out how to drain pasta one handed that I even blogged about it lol Asha

February is month of extreme emotions at our home. Its my stroke anniversary, which we have converted into our stroke anniversary valentine date. hubby usually takes a day off & we do something special together. I enjoy going to NYC so this year we are going for Broadway show together just two of us, kido will be home alone which lately he prefers & we are okay with it. I recently had some medical scare & had MRI done to rule out no new stroke. Now that is taken care of time to celebrate again. Since we started as our valentine & stroke anniversary combo I started looking forward to my stroke anniversary. It is kind of rebirth of my new life which is different but still fun journey. It has both good & bad days in it. though post stroke I have better maturity in handling bad days. I can't believe it has been 11 years since my stroke soon kido will go off to college and I will have to reinvent myself again. I know I will miss him but seeing him on right path & happy makes me happy. Soon we will find out where he finally decides to go to college. Asha

Rose : I am so happy you are celebrating these small victories. I feel all these small improvements eventually becomes happy & satisfied new normal & life goes on. I too love being snuggled in my warm bed on my break day when I don't have mommy duty in morning & hubby takes over for me. Asha

congratulations Lydia. I found out after decade if you take pitocin for labor pains there are chances your kid might have trouble latching in for breast feeding. I know my my son had in the beginning, & it made me feel like a failure as a mom since I had to opt for bottle feeding him though I was doing breast pumping milk but he would rather drink from bottle then breast feed felt so bad till recently found out side effect of pitocin. I guess being parent feeling guilty for everything you did or did not do is part of parenting Asha

Pam : you are brave & strong woman. It takes courage to stand up to bully like that doctor when we feel we are so broken. I am glad you are still that courageous woman who can stand up for her rights & not be afraid. Asha

Tina : I love reading your blog, glad you came & updated your blog. I wonder about you from time to time. you got such a great attitude.having young children are great motivator for us. mine is now almost ready to go to college. I am looking feverishly to find something to do so that I don't fall back into my depression again. I am so glad your surgery went well, and you are getting better in handling your mom's loss. I know its not easy, but we have to learn to live with the loss. Asha

Fred : I have learnt to do almost everything one handed in this two handed world. Being wife, mother I keep myself busy with routine house work which involves cooking, bathroom cleaning, laundry & dishes. and also my treadmill exercises & shoulder exercise. My day starts around 6 in the morning and ends around 10 PM. I have very fixed routine which includes my tv shows & my treadmill time during that show, and ofcourse I attend chats. I try to do atleast 10000 & more steps on my exercise days which are 4 days in a week. I am glad I don't have any one to report, so I take my own time in cooking & take ample breaks while doing my chores. I have found doing home chores very therapeutic for my soul. It makes me feel useful & doing exercise makes me feel happy, so my life post stroke is just different but still good. Though I do need help in doing some things & so far I got my husband & kido. So life is good. Asha