HostAsha

Lynda : I have found more cooking you will do you will find way to adapt & do things differently. BTW in my kitchen endeavors I have found one touch can opener bought it from bed bath & beyond a great tool & also cutting board for one handed people is also another blessing. some of these tools have made chopping vegetables with just one hand very easy task. & ofcourse more you do it faster you become. Once I started cooking for my family & doing things for my family with adaption I feel less of a burden on family. Asha

hey Ed : wow you have been through so much, you got great attitude towards life instead of getting bitter all this mishaps have made you better person. I found blogging & chatting with other survivors very therapeutic for my soul. hope to see you around more often. Asha

life is full of up & down moments. you can not look too far in future it creates anxiety. can't look back at things you lost that creates depression, just have to stay in present & try to do your best in this present moment & then just go with flow. I know I have repeated this words many times in my blog & to myself but I guess its one of the hardest lesson for me to learn. Currently our son is busy with his college application process & I am having hard time letting it go & be okay with mistakes our son makes in this application process. OMG its so hard to even write that last line I don't know how will I be able to accomplish that task. BTW recently I dropped my ipad2 on tiles & screen turned red, it did not crack but it had turned red. I thought oh now will have to replace it since I love my ipad so much, but guess what nerd in me before giving up googled the problem & found easy solution to fix the problem. Can you believe what easy fix was? it was just drop the ipad again on carpet from 6 inch & it should fix the problem. asked hubby to do the fix & he did it. So my ipad is back in action & I don't have to buy new ipad so I am hapy camper again So now you have up & down moments of my life. Asha

AJ : I have seen neurosurgeon talk on oprah's super soul sunday series. It is quite fascinating. to learn how our brain works Asha

Fred : thanks for update I am sure soon you will be doing well & walking. hope to see you soon. Asha

Sue : I am so happy for you, congratulations on winning dancing award at this age just kidding. I love dancing too & when I first went & danced with hubby after stroke It felt so great I could care less how I looked. & this year I ended up dancing with hubby's ex & still had great time. I am so happy & proud of new me. keep on grabbing those old Sue moments which makes you come alive, thats what life is all about reinventing new self which you would love growing old with. cheers, Asha

Sarah : thanks for update. sounds like fun fun vacation, glad you had great time. I am glad you had caregiver with you to help so that you can also enjoy vacatio peacefully. Asha

Kristen : congratulations on passing your driving test. once you start driving it feels like back to your old self again. Asha

Judy : I am sorry that Ray is not inclined to his exercises. I know for me if I don't see immediate results or benefits I never found any reason to do them. Though for me I was able to walk so I did most of my exercises on treadmill, stationary bike & shoulder exercise on door pulley. Though what I found for me was when I integrated my exercise in my daily routine I did them religiously & I ended up looking forward to doing them. I feel doing them regularly made me not deteriorate even further. I wish I had kept doing my e-stims & other hand exercises but I never saw any immediate value in them. tell Ray more he can do you guys will be able to take vacations & still live somewhat normal life. Asha

Fred : thank you so much for updating all of us with your recovery progress. my money is on you for good recovery. I am glad you are getting your therapy & recovering well. you set good example for all members on this site newbies & oldies alike Asha

Ron : reading your blog makes me realize what my husband must have gone through since he can't express his emotions this well, but I am deciding now I will make sure I do my part & tell him how much I love him every night before going to bed. Asha

Sandy : I have problem with our son when I am doing things for him instead of being thankful he will blame me & his dad will side with him so I get frustrated with both of them & say fine you both do it. I will back off. Being stroke survivor its not easy for me to do things, it takes me much longer time to understand fully & since I don't want to do mistake in this important process I spend lot of time reviewing again & again. So if I am not appreciated then I take personally lol. Our son is teenager after all Asha

Since I am blog junkie I am always reading blogs, and reading all caregivers blogs gives me perspective about what caregivers go through even when they don't share their thoughts & emotions. I know my husband is one of those caregiver who will never tell me what he is experiencing by living with survivor who lately dump everything on him when I get overwhelm with kido's college application process & if he ever give me slightest hard time in doing those applications. I just dump everything on both of them & back off. One thing I can tell you for sure its so stressful being parent. I know in my this parenting journey there has been many high points but there are those valleys when I sweat worry finally just pray & leave it in God's hands. I really don't like to ask things from God anything now. whenever I pray for him & our family, my only prayer is please god whatever is best for him let that happen & give us courage & strength to go through those trying moments knowing best is yet to come. Asha

Betsy : Maria & aj were right on target. I will just add my experience to you. right after my stroke I was feeling the same way about my life like you are feeling. first two years were the hardest to accept changes stroke brought in my life & it always made me very depressed & sad till I saw how my depression was affecting my young son & my husband who chose to stay by my side in this journey. what I feel once you accept your current situation & stop comparing how life was & should be you will find happiness again. happiness is a choice. I feel once you reach acceptance level in 5 stages of grief you will feel much better & not be so upset with your new normal. though I feel to get used to your new normal you have to take active part in your life. few things I found it useful after struggling in my own life is 1. having routine 2. exercise 3. trying to be as independent in your own life like slow and steadily doing more for yourself I have found doing all these things have helped me accept my new normal & be content & happy in my life one more time. I also found blogging, volunteering, chatting with other survivors all very therapeutic for my soul Asha

Sue : I so agree with you, and I also believe Everything happening in my life is for my own good, so even after stroke I see benefits it brought in my life. It made my marriage stronger than before and taught me never to give up, everything in my life is worth fighting for Asha

I heard Elisabeth gilbert author of eat,pray & love talk with oprah on her super soul sunday, and something she said about suffering was so right on target. She was saying in life we all go through troubles in life & if we don't learn lesson from it then its just waste of pain. I so agree with it. her idea was any time something unpleasant happening in your life ask two questions what was my part in it ( so take responsibility for your action, so that next time you are mindful about it), and secomd question is what is this lesson trying to teach me. When you learn from your adversity then there is growth in you as a human being. I strongly feel taking responsibility for your actions & learning lessons from it brings immense self growth in person, and few years down the road you can look at the event & realize it made you the person you are proud of. another AHA moment for me. Asha

Sue : can you believe I have mixed feelings about this blog. I am sad for the love you lost, but happy & jealous for that kind of love for your spouse. I would want my hubby to love me like that so that I can also reciprocate. I think your love for Ray will be my goal for this year for my hubby. I love him, but its still conditional. hope I am making sense here Asha

yvonne : such a great organization to go & help out. My dad had alzeimer & It was hard on every one involve in his life's journey. I feel volunteering is best thing to do. It helps you more than you help others I am glad you went & helped out Asha

Tina We missed you around here I find blogging very therapeutic for my soul evenreading and commenting will also helps you Asha

hi Betsy : I can so relate with your blog. but as you go along in your journey you will realize perfection is over rated. I usually don't plan out to the tiny details any more. I just realize you just have to do your best & leave rest on god & just flow with life instead of resisting the flow of life. Change is hard pill to adjust to. I feel in life we don't have choice on lot of things but we do have choice over how will we react to uncomfortable situation. happiness is a choice & our thoughts have immense power over your happiness. so choose those thoughts wisely Asha

John : this is great. you are amazing caregiver & son & medical advocate for your mom. I think that's why every survivor needs family member like you. I am sure mom will be back in action once she comes home. So you also rest till then. Asha

congratulations enjoy your new freedom. take it slow and be careful on road Asha

As you all know We are blessed with amazing son though some days are tough by his procrastination & being unorganized, but when he takes responsibility & does himself he makes us very proud of him. In lot of things he is like his dad where he does not like to talk about any thing unlike his mom who has to ask 100 questions to get full information out of him. & if I miss some questions then I miss the information lol. Though sometimes it turns out to be pleasant surprise. So think of my surprise when we go to his school for back to school & see his picture in school bulletin board about making it as national merit scholars finalist. It seems his dad missed telling me information about that coming in mail hehehe & kido missed telling me since I failed asking my 100 questions lol.So Anyway made me very happy & proud mom. I usually have no complaints when he tries and still get bad grades. cause I know atleast he tried. but I get mad that he will miss it about things because he is not organized & could care less if he misses grade here & there. that's the area I end up nagging him about. So anyway wanted to share this proud moment of my life when I feel oh I am so glad I persisted God gave me so many wonderful moments to enjoy in last decade.I am sure there are still plenty to come Asha

wow Dave : :congrats: running marathon after stroke deserves biggest medal of all. I can barely walk after stoke can't imagine running. So happy & proud of you Asha