HostAsha

hey Betsy : your blog reminded me of how I felt 10 years ago when I joined this site & started blogging. Even though I had great family & friends I felt people on this site understood me better & them offering me support felt more genuine than from my friends and family so called "normal people". Once I started blogging I found reading & writing blogs therapeutic for my soul. It never make me feel alone in my journey. Asha

Sue : I echo Debbie's thoughts. all we can do is be your cheerleaders on the sidelines of your life's journey. you have to take those steps to ultimate goal of acceptance, contentment & happiness.We are all alone in life's journey & have to make it alone I feel happiness & contentment in life's journey comes in small ordinary moments. grand moments do come in between, but if we wait to be happy only when grand moments will arrive we will miss out out on those ordinary moments. So enjoy every moment in a day given to us, since nothing is guaranteed in life.

Judy : I am so happy for you both. As a survivor I feel it is disservice to every one involve in this stroke recovery if you do everything for them. My strict instruction to hubby when he would just want to wrap me in cottonball so that I would never get hurt again was don't help me unless I ask for help. Yes initially it took me longer time to get job accomplished, but guess what I accomplished the job & it was one less thing for him to worry about. & positive thing for survivor is when they do more for themselves better they get & also feel better about surviving & feel contributing member of family. Once Ray is able to take care of give him household chores to do too like laundry, bill paying. Anything he can do will be one less item on your to do list & will help him feel worthwhile too Asha

Katrina : I agree with Sue for me, I sleep very well when I have done atleast 10000 steps during day & have kept routine in my life. exercise tires me out, and I am out like light as soon as I hit the pillow in night Asha

Pearl : you are smart woman, and you realize this down day shall pass too. I spent first two years wishing my old life back till I realize I am missing out on my present life. I was fortunate once I realize how my negativity affected my young son I picked myself up & made best lemonade possible for our life. Though I have since then realized only control in my life I have is on my thoughts & I believe happiness is a choice, and my thoughts have immense power to make me happy or sad, so I choose my thoughts wisely. Asha Asha

hi tammy : welcome to best online stroke support group. I stroked at age 34 which left me paralyzed on my left side & retired me from the job I loved. I found blogging & chatting with other survvors very therapeutic for my soul. hope to see you around more often. Asha(now 44 year old survivor)

Pearl & imctrouble : reading your blog reminded me of my impulsivess. I always got lectures from every one on how not to try things, but my motto was always unless I try how will I know I can still do it. over the course of my post stroke recovery my right hand has become very strong & ofcourse my left ankle has gotten strong & my balance also improved since I stumbled many times & caught myself many times too, though downside is I also suffered fracture but that has not stopped me doing things falling is part of stroke recovery & learning to get up & rebuild life is sign of survivor. I found nature very healing for my soul. going out for a walk & noticing world around me since I walked slow briught lot of joy in my life. Asha

Katrina : In my initial days I used to write everyday blog. I felt blogging was mainly for me, it was therapeutic for my soul & when I got comments it felt great. though I always felt writing happy blog doubled my happiness since I got to relive again in my blog & in case of sad blog I got support from my friends. don't let what others think or comment let it bother you Asha

Nancy : reading your blog made me realize that's how I think, there are so many things I like to do & will make me more happy if hubby takes part in it or initiate it, but he is always old guy in his young body, never interested in doing any thing fun like going for movie going out on romantic dates or anything that will show his love for me, I feel I needed to get this stupid stroke to see his love for me & realize this big lesson in life, you have to do what makes you happy & not wait on other person to make you happy. Just do what makes you happy. I have realized anything you do in life which makes you feel happy & has good intention behind will turn out to be good for our family Asha

Yvonne : that's so true now I will use it any time I am afraid to try something new Asha

As most of you I loved reading spiritual books and love oprah's super soul sunday series on her OWN network where she interviewed Author of book Alchemist. I loved his thoughts & believed in them since I have seen becoming true in my own life. His one of the suggestion was any time you want something in life then don't give up on it because of fear of failures, if you want something keep at it & you will see whole universe inspires to help you. His main message in the book is follow your bliss & don't be afraid. I know currently since our son is senior & I am looking at all his college application process & it makes me very fearful of making mistake while doing it. But hearing Alchemist message I know I have to just follow my bliss & should not be afraid &if I do that then universe is going to help us in things happening right for our son. something we can all learn to integrate in our life Asha

Fred : you are in my thoughts and prayers for successful surgery & speedy recovery. remember this shall pass too. Asha

hi Akmom : welcome to best online stroke support group reading your blogs & comments feels like what I was feeling after my stroke. I stroked at age 34 which left me paralyzed on my left side & retired me from the job I loved. My whole family rallied around me at that time. my husband & mom would have rolled me into cotton & would have kept me on bed so that I will never get hurt again. My sister came from India to be with us & took over my cooking duties rest were picked by hubby, after she left hubby hired full time help they all were trying to help me, but it led me into more depression, since I did not have reason to get out of bed, though once I started doing more in the home & hubby started realizing I will be safe he backed off, once I got rid of help everything changed for good in our life, I got my reason to get out of bed, yes it took me longer time to do same thing I could do it quickly but who cares I have the time, & as long as job gets done its one less job for hubby & slowly he also realized power of it. I think once you start participating & taking over more things at home, they will back off. Asha

Cagin : Thanks for update. I feel having money in life makes life easier for our loved ones to take care of us in case our genetics fail us in this life's journey. Asha

Katrina : how about volunteering at some place like red cross or library, & finally when everything works out well convert into job so that you don't feel you are sitting at home & not doing anything. Asha

Kelly : I always feel when I have to take some action related to our son. I always think what's my intention behind this choice, I feel every decision made with good intention behind will be beneficial to our son. that's how I make decisions now days & also I do what makes me happy Asha

Judy : such a great news try to use that hand more in any fashion he can. all these small steps add uo to fun new normal Asha

Katrina : I know you are just writing your thoughts about woe is me to take it to your therapist, it will be interesting to see what her response will be to your woe is me thoughts please do share with us her response. have you read everybody got something book by robin roberts. I feel as a human being none of us are exempt from pain & loss in our life, to make it suffering is our choice. our thoughts have amazing power to either lift us up or drag us down choice is all ours is what I believe in. Asha

Fred : I am so sorry to hear about this new hurdle in your life, but I know you got that inner strength to get through this hurdle too. will be praying for strength for you & your family. hope to see you soon, keep us updated. Asha

our school is starting tomorrow. our kido will be senior this year. I can't believe this is his last year at home before he flies off to college & we will be empty nester. I am filled with so many emotions, I am scared, excited, grateful all emotions filled into one. I am grateful for getting this second chance in life to be able to raise him with my amazing hubby. I don't know as a parent when do you think yes your job done well, now even if death comes knocking on your door you are ready to go. I guess I am getting greedy in this second chance at life & want to see him growing into great young guy & also play with our grandbabies some of the games I played with their dad. I have been very hands off in his high school years & it was hard in the begining, but now I am completely out of touch, he has been handling everything & as promised have not given me any reason to interfere. I still need to learn to let go & let him fly & not get attached to results, hardest lesson of all if you ask me Asha

hi Karen : welcome to wonderful & therapeutic world of blogging. Stroke affects whole family & it is very frightening for every one involved in it. since it puts all out of our comfort zone & make us uncomfortable. though when we step out of comfort zone that's when growth occurs. BTW don't make mistake of looking too far in future & afraid to do any decision. Any decision done with right intention behind it will turn out to be good one. I stroked at age 34 which left me paralyzed on my left side & retired me from the job I loved. I never thought I would find joy in living again, but thanks to support of my friends & family & this site I found my joy again. I hanged on dearly on hubby's strength till I found my own inner strength. When I felt like I was drowning in my own despair, hubbys words comforted me, he was like just keep your head above water, tide will change. & he was so right, nothing stays forever good times & bad times both change. just hang in there & do one thing at a time first get organized & file for SSDI. I used to hate when people say just take one day at a time now I understand that statement & will tell you same thing, just take one day at a time, sometime it's just one moment at a time. Don't look back that creates depression, don't look too far in future that creates anxiety, just stay in present & handle one small thing at a time. getting organized will pay big dividends. Asha

Debbie : I get just tired reading your blog & activities you do. I guess post stroke my life is very routine lol. Asha

Judy : Maybe assigning some chores to your Ray to do will help him big time in his stroke recovery. I know once I started doing my chores at home like cooking, laundry, cleaning one by one it helped me on many ways. I felt worthwhile in making contributions in our house hold chores. even though hubby was in pin needles at first thinking I might hurt myself doing chores, but for me those chores did wonders for my self esteem. I felt contributing member of society & not worthless human being who is burden on her family by surviving stroke. & more you do easier it gets since you find ways to compensate & get things done. I feel with right attitude you can accomplish everything with just one hand Asha

Judy : you write so truthfully, your blog reminds me of what my husband had gone through in our our earlier days. Sometimes I am thankful to be survivor & not a caregiver. I don't think I would have hold the fort so beautifully the way he did for us. I hope & pray for your courage & strength to get through all days in your initial journey. Asha

Katrina : this is such a great blog & news listen to your pastor she is giving you right information plan fun things, be spontaneous & have fun life is what you make of it. Asha