HostAsha

Happy New year Kev, I agree with Sue you came so far in 2020 now time to build on it more in 2021 Asha

Happy New year, I am so excited that you have new men in your life peter, would like to see his picture. your daughter is mature seeing her mom happy is more than anything & she must be so happy for you both. Asha

Happy New year every one. 2020 is finally over & 2021 is here, & I realized our son is my guardian angel who saved my life multiple times. First time when he was born he was such a big baby & way too comfortable inside, sot they had to induce me so that our prince will be born but he started to show sign of discomfort so doctors had decided to do c-section, and he was born at 9-1/2 lb & 22 inch long baby, so I ended up in the hospital for 5 days on bed rest & even though I had hole in heart everything was fine & we came home happy. second time I had taken him to his doctors appointment & then took him to my Gynec visitin my care thinking nothing of it & suddenly my routine pregnancy gynec appt turned into night mare, doctors realized I had started dilating & will have to deliver our baby prematurely, so ambulance & dad were called leaving our 7 year old son in the care of receptionist till dad reaches doctors office. that delivery, baby's death & my stroke day later became nightmare for our family. though our son was my guardian angel since for him, I was ready to fight all my dark thoughts & try to be best mom possible even after my stroke. I thought about ending it all, but knowing that will be huge disservice to this innocent child who we brought in the world so lovingly. So I decided to fight on those dark thoughts & pushed tem aside, So basically here again my son saved my life. third time on dec27,2020 suddenly I had weird vision i issue at home where I could not see for little bit & then in few minutes it cleared up.it was as if I was seeing black blob on persons face & can't distinguish features. I was all rattled so mentioned it to hubby &our second year medical student son, hubby & I thought about mentioning to my eye doctor when we visit him sometime in Jan & of-course our doctor son argues & tells us to go to ER right away & get it all checked out when we both started resisting , his argument was like you tell me pay ticket right away then this thing is also very important get it all checked & doctors can see things in cat-scans & MRI right away, so off we both went to ER expecting its nothing. They admitted me right away & did Cat-scan & MRI & found out I had suffered minor stroke what the heck luckily it got cleared up & I font have any permanent damage. So again my guardian angel my son saved my life. I was in hospital for 2 days, came home & kido also came home for holidays. So 2020 for our family was not too bad I suffered stroke but I am still happy to be home & back to my old self, realizing kido is indeed my guardian angel, & has saved my life multiple times . though after coming home he has gone & played basketball with his friends & fractured his right hand index finger, so dynamic story of our life continues Asha

Happy New year to you George, you were spot on. I felt I am reading my own thoughts or what. I also believe when we get out of our comfort zone & do things that's when growth happens in life. I also feel 2020 was not that of bad year at-least for our family, will blog about it Asha

Sue : have merry Christmas, I also feel because of stroke I am able to cope with all this new canges covid brought in our life. I feel fortunate that all my family members are good & sister & brother in law recovered well from covid. & we all have our basic needs are met & have enough to donate too, so life is good. Wish you happy holidays & fun time with your kids & grandkids. Asha

merry Christmas Kevin, have happy holidays & keep spreading joy in the world. Asha

kelli : sending you positive vibes, ope you feel better soon, this shall pass too, sending you all positive healing energy. Asha

George: your musing is always so inspirational. I also find when you are giving to others you feel better. I am so happy you lucked out in your wives choice. do you have any kids? Asha

wow you made wayne 50th birthday so special that's so nice. I bet you both created beautiful memories to last you for lifetime, you both deserve this, cheers, Asha

Sue : your friendship with peter sounds lovely. I feel we humans are community people, and we want to feel we belong someplace & we matter in someone's life. to be there for each other. you had long history with Ray which no one can replace but hope & pray you find great friend who loves you for who you are & be there for you just like Ray would have been. Asha

Kelli : we understand not every one will be able to post comment on everything they read, but we know you do care. Asha

Sue : welcome to wonderful therapeutic world of blogging. you write so well, love that butterfly effect comparison. Its great your brother was on phone with you & detected the symptoms & got you help in the timely manner. was George out of town. coming to this site made me realize bad things do happen to good people & God is always by our side making us meet right people at the right time. you are one of that kind soul who makes huge difference in whoever you meet in your life's journey. Asha

hi Jana : welcome to best online stroke support group, I am sorry you had need to find us but now you found us you will never feel alone again. being young stroke survivor has its benefits, you can rebuild your new normal to your contentment. now that you found us you will never feel alone or different. I stroked at age 34 after delivering premie baby & after loosing her day later I suffered stroke at home which left me paralyzed on my left side & retired me from the job I loved, for me more than stroke retiring from job was big blow to me, I never knew how much of my identity was wrapped in the work I did & money I made, suddenly I felt worthless, luckily having supportive spouse & young kid who was just 7 at the time & my family, friends & this site, I found my joy back, today after 16 years on this post stroke journey, i realize my life is just different not good or bad its just different. I struggled hard to find my new normal after stroke & even after having supportive spouse & family, I still felt very lonely & isolated, finding this support group was god-sent to me & it helped me feel not so alone or weird. I found blogging on this site & chatting with other survivors very therapeutic for my soul . we do have scheduled chats every day in the afternoon from 3-4 EST in stroke support room #2 & in the evening from 8-9 PM EST on M,W & F. on friday we have chats in the coffeshop in the evening though M,W its in survivor room #2. hope to see you there soon. having young kids at home will fuel your recovery & you will be able to build your great new normal, you might achieve things differently than some other people, but important thing is job gets done. Asha (now 50 year old survivor)

I feel so grateful to be still around in 2020 after going through some dark curve-ball of stroke in 2004, and still be around to enjoy the life with complete new outlook on life. In 2020 I feel grateful to see all my friends and family safe and sound even though my sister & brother in law got covid but they recovered fully grateful on my birthday hubby & I took day off & visited green lake state park in NY , which turned out to be fun & beautiful day trip grateful have found unconditional love right in my marriage which prods me to try & become like my hubby, feel blessed that accidentally married right guy which made going through life's joys & hurdles so easy. so grateful kido ended up in right field which makes him excited about his life & future, & makes me feel grateful that my illness did not screw up his life grateful able to celebrate our festival of light Diwali with beautiful decoration. feel grateful for all abundance in our life feel so grateful to have found right people, books, friends offline & online based on my needs at right time. wish you all happy thanksgiving with your family & your loved ones. I don't know how to add more pictures in the blog so I have added my Diwali decoration I did this year in our life. Asha

Sue : I am so glad you got to spend time with your family & help out your daughter in her hour of need. you got sweet grandson who is so close to you & remembers his Pa. I better take good care of myself so I am around to play with my grandchildren which are at-least 15 years away which will make me 65 at that time, & I am so excited to see how our son's life will turn out, one excited parent & future grandma Thanks, Asha Chandra

Pam : Thanks for updating your blog, I was worried about you & thought maybe you are upset with us so taking break. I can't believe they would make your stroke as TIA. & you are one fearless lady reporting people to taste & making sure & straightening out those non-compassionate people they are in wrong profession. your son is so sweet getting you good cell phone which you are taking full advantage of. your phone game sounds fun. welcome back we missed you around here Asha

belated Happy Birthday your breakfast looks something to die for lol. glad you are enjoying that scrumptious breakfast on your birthday, that's better way to live long, rest of the year follow vegan diet. I enjoy sunset too they are so beautiful. wishing you many more of fun-filled birthdays Asha

Some of you who know me, I am heavy into uplifting books, inspiring biographies & oprah's Super soul sunday where she gets accomplished leaders, thinkers which I have realized based on where I am in my own journey find great AHA moments to cliche lines. Anyway enough of background recently Oprah had Michelle Obama on her show talking about her "becoming" book great book, if any one wants to read & get inspired by how to be great mom or wife this book is quite inspiring. One of interesting thing Michelle Obama mentioned while discussing about her book & things she learnt about her & her marriage during counseling. I always equate people go through counseling when their marriage is in trouble, but what Michelle Obama said was eye opener, she was like she went to counseling thinking let 3rd party tell him what he is doing is wrong, but what she learned in that counseling is you got to be whole when you go in any relationship. & that was big AHA for me, I realized I can't expect others to make me feel complete by appreciating me or by me making big fat paycheck. I got to learn to be WHOLE in the relationship be it spouse or mom or sister or daughter. I know its life long process, but realizing you are whole & enough you don't expect your spouse or family to say things to you to make you feel happy or enough. I know that was my major source of depression after stroke when I had to retire from work & raise the family who did not believe in saying thank you, it was more like where mom fell short, & also my mistake where if they praised I took it oh never mind that, that's my job anyway. So for me Michelle Obama was spot on & I got to learn to be whole & comfortable in my own skin.

Sue : I love your blogs you write so eloquently. Its so nice that you are able to help sheryl out & will be able to spend lovely time with er family. that's what family is all about on whom you can depend on. hope you had great time with your friend at the movie. My wish for me to find good girlfriends with who I can spend time together. I have realized when you do decorations for holidays, it breaks out routine & makes life more fun & interesting. I am looking forward to our son coming home for his thanksgiving holidays soon. Asha

I have found reason behind my stroke gave me peace & strength in dealing with adversities in life. I now know that after I dealt with stroke in my life I am much stronger than I give credit to myself. I feel as long as we learnt some lessons from bad things in our life that experience has not gone to waste. we all deal with some good things & some bad things in life & when enough time has passed from the bad event you can find something good that came out of seemingly bad event in our life. Asha

thanks heather great tip, I wil try to be proactive next year & start doing iit that way. I choose to not pay attention since hubby is tax accountant & dont want tp get in his hair which he has less anyway. So I just depend on him & then feel bad & scared about it.

Right after my stroke when I was deep in dumps of despair I found strength in inspiring people like FDR who even being disabled got country out of deep depression & started so many great projects in America, funded & created national parks, social security & even made bank accounts FDIC so that common people don't loose their hard earned money. I was amazed & inspired by Eleanor Roosevelt who was close confidant & his partner in all senses. Recently I read one of her quote "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do. those words makes me go AHA 100% truth in those lines, when you do something which scares you silly & you still persevere & do it, it builds great strength & confidence in your ability. I know I was so scared silly right after my stroke and did not know how my life will turn out, did not know whether I will ever find joy in living again. I have realized when you step out of your comfort zone & do something which scares you silly, somehow from somewhere help shows up in form of books, friends, family, show up & you accomplish the work you signed up for & in return get confidence in your ability. & you realize you are stronger than you ever think you were. So I think nowonwards I will try to do things which scares me the most like learning to do our taxes lol Asha

wow look at that harvest do you sell it to grocery store or have food stall to sell it, thereis no way you can finish all tht bounty Asha

sending you both virtual hugs, hope you stay strong for conner. Asha

Things are not finalized yet but its moving into right direction, so I have to share my joy. hubby has spent his first few years of his life in village in India with his family & is very fond of his native place, & even after moving to city in India his family has connection with village which has our very powerful community God we all believe in & his whole family & extended family will gather their once a year for special prayer ceremony. Usually now in village there are mostly old people live there, but during this special occasion village is filled with people, & you get to meet whole Chandra family not just your siblings but your distant relatives too. its really sweet & nice feeling, I have attended once after moving to US, & now over the years people have built big temple for our family God & there are lot of services offered in community hall there where you can buy food & so on. Anyway since our marriage hubby has always said when he retires he would like to move there & I have always teased him about it & saying no way I will rather stay in city than in village. Anyways we do have family home in village which we can use it with other brothers but that offer was creating lot of family politics so I was not very fond of it & upset with hubby about it. & out of nowhere this property with all the comforts I am used to came on the market (quite unlikely event in that small village), so seems like hubby's older brother brokered the deal, we have yet to close the deal, but seems more likely now, I am so happy about it since just before this I had big fight with hubby about joining hands with his other brothers & build property together. I was of the opinion we can have our own villa which all of his family members can use it, but we are the owner so doing all modifications or upgrades are our responsibility & don't have to ask any one to chip in or feel bad when they don't agree with your upgrade idea. hubby has 5 older brothers & bossy 5 sister in laws lol. being youngest I can usually get along with most but with one or two I cant, & didn't felt like needed that kind of headache in life. So very happy how things turned round in our life & we got something we both love it. & can imagine taking our kido & our grand-kids there in future. feel so grateful at the turn of he events went through good roller coaster of ride where had fights with hubby before with family politics & so on & suddenly this deal so I am plain grateful