HostAsha

hubby & I have not lived apart since stroke, it has been over 9 years of joined by hip, so when this recent snowstorm made him stay near his office we were both worried how I would handle it, but ofcourse I am blessed in our child's department suddenly he was most agreeable teen & would listen to all my instructions, and was amazingly kind in looking after me. hen I asked if he can stay with me till I fall asleep, he was kind enough to do that so that I don't feel lonely. We got more than 6 inch of snow & luckily I got private contractor to clean our driveway for money. kido has midterm exams from tomorrow so I wanted him to study for his exams which he did. It has been so cold that I have stopped going out for my walk. I was so worried about being all alone, but I am glad we did alright & my confidence level in my parenting also increased which is good Asha

Katrina : for me doing my exercise at home which is like 3 hours of treadmill spread out through out my day and shows keeps me busy & less depressed. I actually love my new routine which is 4 days of exercise & rest of the days just hour of exercise & break to catch up on my home duties like laundry, vegetable chopping. with this routine I look forward to new day & have wean myself off all antidepressants. there is research which says doing exercise helps in depression Asha Asha

Fred : I am glad you are feeling better already.I am glad doctors finally figured out & put you on right meds. Asha

Katrina : this is so scary. I will be praying for you to find right answers soon. Asha

George : you are such a go getter & full of can do attitude. Leslie is lucky to have you. love the picture of your winter. I am sure you both will figure something out when time comes Asha

Debbie : Belated happy birthday glad you had great time Asha

Ruth : good to hear from you. I feel the caregivers who are as organised as you are do well in their caregiver role & their survivors also thrive in their recovery. just my observation & conclusion. I love your smoothie recipe sounds so healthy no wonder william feels great. Asha

Katrina : for me doing exercises tires me out so falling asleep is easy since I am so tired from doing 3 hours of treadmill, cooking, cleaning & other things around the house. I felt huge emptyness right after my stroke if I don't have to get up to go for job than why even wake up used to be my attitude in the beginning which pushed me down into more depression but once I started waking up early just to get our son off to school then I started feeling better, now I never take nap once I m up at 6 AM then I m always doing something around the house. so I feel to avoid depression is start having routine must it can be as mundane as having breakfast at particular time, start exercising, & stop worrying. worry can just make you anxious. Asha

Fred : thanks for updating, hopefully now with cause known doctors can treat you with right medicines & you will be back in action soon. you are in my thoughts & prayers. Asha

Fred : you will be in my thoughts and prayers please update us after your doctor visit. Asha

Lenny : anything can help us & future survivors is worth it. Asha

Katrina : thank you for writing feel good blog too. I am firm believer in positivity brings in more positivity in life. I am glad you are feeling optimistic and writing about it. that defintly brings hope & joy in life. hugs, Asha

Katrina : I am glad you are feeling better, please stay away from those pain pills see too many bad news about good people getting addicted to it. realize taking those pain pills they just mask away the pain does not take it away. I feel thinking happy thoughts or getting busy in something else should divert your mind from negative thoughts. BTW I also feel exercising increases happiness serotonin hormones so integrate mild exercises in your routine. for me reading good books & having routine in life which includes exercises, cooking, & taking care of household helps big time keeping me centered & happy. Asha

Nancy : I struggled first 2 years after my stroke with who I am if I am not Asha software Engineer who made big bucks, then who am I till I realize I survived for a reason & still got chance to make difference in my family's life, even though some days I struggle with not feeling appreciated with all right things I do in the house & get criticized for things which did not go according to plan. problem is even though family will not notice I am usually so hard on myself with criticisim chatter in my head. Anyway for me volunteering at the places I care about & ofcourse chatting & blogging all has helped me deal with my depression. I have found exercise & routine has helped me recenter & enjoy my life again. you need to maybe look into volunteering position which ,might get you out of the house & some interaction with people without any pressure & you will be able to find something that captures your interest. Asha

Sue : I love your blogs you write so beautifully. you got heart of gold & God is guiding you in right direction where you could be comfort to so many with your life experiences & empathy. hugs, Asha

Sally : I saw it too. & I am sure in the beginning it will be luxury ticket item. so along with all this technology one needs money too Asha

in my last blog I bragged about success of our son in his academics & in comments Fred mentioned how about gifting him new car or something similar, which of-course made me uncomfortable since my views on it varies. I feel as a student its his job to do well in studies & you don't get any rewards for that. his rewards will come when he is able to support himself & his family & can buy himself all toys he will want in his life. As a parent our job is to provide him food, shelter & education. we do make sure to give him environment at home where he can achieve his goals. his studies always comes first, & being home I make sure of that. I am also realizing that I as a mother is also doing my duty & should not expect any rewards in return. long time reader of my blogs will know that I have struggled with that for longest time, since as stay at home mom you don't get any thank yous in return. you only get whining & complaints about how mean you are when you limit their pleasure time. so valuable lesson learnt for me too we all here on earth & assigned role playing to do, so whatver role you are playing at current time, do your best & don't expect any rewards from any one. your rewards you will see when you see your kids thriving. bhagwad gita says do your duties(karma) & don't stay attached to results just be happy for doing your job good. So at the end valuable lesson learnt again. Asha

Kelly : I am so saddened to read this news, but you know what, who knows God's plan for your life, just be patient, something better wil come out of this seemingly tragic event. who knows you might meet your soul mate with whom you can enjoy all abundance of life. we are always here if you want to talk hugs, Asha

sally : stay warm inside with gracie, its very cold everywhere bu I hear going to be in 50s by weekend. so just stay under throw with gracie. Asha

Fred : we don't believe in rewarding for his duties as a student he needs to work hard which is expected of him. our job as a parent to provide him food, shelter & education lol. we will make sure he is capable enough to buy himself fancy toys. we never got anything for excelling in school, we would get in trouble at home if we did not lol. Asha

Lenny : hope you feel better soon. with stroke deficits even common cold can take out windbeneath our wings. but good news is its just cold & you will recover soon, just drink lot of fluids & take rest. Asha

Fred : hope your wife feels better soon & you both are fortunate to have each other. take good care of her while making sure to wash your hands often so you don't catch it. Asha

As we rolled into new year want to wish every one happy, healthy & prosperous New Year. I never made resolutions in life, but recently when I read Jean riva's blog I loved her idea of just one mantra resolution like find contentment & courage. I was wondering what could be my one mantra resolution for this year. I think I need to learn to accept myself the way I am & stop putting myself down for some things which went wrong cause of me. for this year I think my resolution will be " I am good enough, and being good enough is enough, no need to be best but being good enough is good enough. & stop blaming myself if things did not go according to the way I wanted cause I need to trust in God's big plans for our life. My another resolution for this year is learn and master one new recipe for our family. I know for me doing cooking just one handedly is a challenge for new recipe which I am yet to be comfortable with. but I know more I do it I become pro in it & can whip it out quickly. At home front every thing is well. Kido is getting quite mature & will soon fly away & won't need us any more. He is doing spectacular in his studies so we are very happy & proud of him recently he aced his SAT exam so now he can focus on improving his GPA such that he can get into his dream colleges. I am so happy & grateful on how everything is working out in his path.though I am most proud of the fact that he learned valuable lesson of life while preparing for his SAT. he learnt that luck favors prepared mind. he realized he aced it cause he worked hard for his test & got lucky because he was prepared. I was over the moon when he himself told me that, so now I know I can relax & enjoy watching him grow into young responsible adult. Asha(one happy mom)

happy Anniversary Tahoegirl. Once I started celebrating my stroke anniversary as our valentines day. I actually look forward to it &plan some romantic things to do with my hubby. Once you will start celebrating your anniversary you will feel less anxious. you have come quiet far in your recovery. Asha

Sally : thats great news I m having trouble logging in chatroom for past few days so I will miss her say her hi from me Asha