HostAsha

Nancy : I am firm believer in when God closes one door he will open up another better door for us, when we were looking for house near my mom's it was booming market & every house we bid on it & there will be bidding war on it, finally we gave up & when we finally made the deal its best house we got, its walking distance from moms & love all the features in the house, so moral of the stpry have a faith & believe whatever is happening is in your best interest. Asha

Bonnie : as a life survivor you know first few years are hardest to cope with, there is no set time tablw for grief period but I am sure surely you will reach to acceptance. John did leave with you lot of great memories, have you gotton chance to read Jean riva's blog "misadventure of widowhood". google it, you will get lot of comfort reading her blogs & it will help you in coping. Asha

Fred : great blog it felt like someone read my mind & wrote this blog. after going through valley one do appreciate mountain bit more. post stroke life can be still good just little different on how you achieve few things differently. Asha

Katrina : I am so happy for you, you have come so far ahead, we all have. as time goes on you will realise life is still great just little different on how you accomplish few things. BTW for your laundry, buy laundry bags which will be easy to carry from one place to other. you can fold laundry on the bed itself. Asha

Cat : this is great, more he does this more normal he will feel & will be able to accept his new normal. at the end of the day it does not matter how job gets accomplished, what's important that it gets accomplished. & all this small gains adds up quickly & becomes great new normal. Asha

Sandy : I agree with Sue 100%, just because life sent him curveball & he is knocked down from the path he was walking on does not make him less of Bob, as a human being we are shedding most of our outer exterior, outer body does not define us, we are completly different from the way we looked as toddler, teenager to now as adult. I went through same question myself who am I after my stroke if I am not software Engineer till I realise I am here & survived for a reason & I am still same old Asha maybe more wise than before & I like new & improved myself. tell him he is still Bob & this adversity in his life might bring something better in both of your life even though it does not seem that way yet, but have faith in God's plan for your life. please ask him to start journaling his thoughts online or in book that will help him see how far he has come in recovery. Asha

Cat : It feels hugely scary when all therapy stops, but will tell you from my personal experience actual living & post stroke journey will starts when therapy stops. & never ever spoonfeed your survivor, allow him to do more for himself, it has great advantages, more he is able to fend for himself its less work for you & you can concentrate your energy on some worthwhile projects which he can't help in. As a caregiver it becomes tendency of some of the caregivers, oh why allow him or her struggle when I can finish it quicker, but I feel that does more disservice than service, more survivor is able to do for himself it is one less work for the overloaded caregiver & also very importantly it builds the self esteem of the survivor, don't help unless you are specifically asked for help is my instrunctions to my hubby & that motto has made me today self sufficient in running our whole household single handedly which includes cooking, cleaning. yes it takes me longer time, but important thing is job gets done. So please realise stopping of the therapy is not an end its new begining to great post stroke life together for years to come, and more he does for himself easier it will get. Asha

christine : thanks for updating your blog, I am glad you are moving forward in your life with best of your ability, when you look at life with persepective of gratitude it does not feel that bad. good for you on your acceptance journey. Asha

Sandy : I am so glad SSDI got approved for you, after my stroke I was so out of it to get all my right benefits, I am glad had great caregiver like you who jumped all those red tapes & got my benefits approved, which ofcourse made me feel less of burden on him. Asha

After my stroke I was hugely depressed & never thought I will find joy in living again. I accidently found some of the things in my life by going through lot of agonizing painful days, so just wanted to list down some of things I learnt hard way which if helps someone trying it out will be great gift for me cause I know that will bring them joy back in life. 1. have routine in life very important to make sure you feel in control of your life. waking up at set time & doing certain things on certain days will make huge difference on your outlook on life. 2. always try to do whatever you can do to best of your ability. 3. I also follow my Eastern philiosophy of law of karma & try to do my duties as wife and mother though still learning not to have any attachment to results. I am still learning my happiness is coming from doing my duties to best of my abilities & not get attached to outcome of it or receiving any thank you in return. 4. I have realised key to happiness is a decision to be happy 5. big secret I have learnt positivity in life brings in positive results in life. 6. write 5 things you are greatful for every day in your gratitude journal, its one of the best thing I did for myself it shifted my focus towards positive things in my life & even after stroke they were plenty. Some of these things I know for sure in my life since I have been through it & lived to tell about it. Asha

Sue : I am sorry to hear news of Mom & Ray, I can understand how hard it must be for you witness this. When I learnt only choice you have in life is how you will respond to the event made me feel so good, I realised wow I do have some control in this life, so I always try to look at as "this shall pass too, & even though it seems rotton something wonderful thing is going to come out of this pain. that story line has always helped me look forward to new day & got me out of the bed on bad days. Asha

numnah : I have integrated my exercise in my daily routine, and now that it is part of my routine it has become habit for example I do all my treadmill,stationary bike & shoulder exercise on M,T Wednesday is break day so I catch up on my laundry & other household job, then thursday & friday & then break again on sat & sun. This worked for me cause my muscles used to get very tired after 2 days of exercise. once you have routine you look forward to it. Asha

cat : :congrats: great news. I m sure good times ahead of you will be so much more fun now that you have survived bad times & came out stronger together. Asha

hey Babz : thanks for update after long time, I often wondered about you and thought maybe you got busy with life, but I am glad you updated us. Asha

Fred : loved your blog, adversity like yours can do two things to person, it can make them bitter person or better person, I am glad all this life's experience has made you better person. I feel the same way about my life's journey. Asha

Cat : that's good philosophy, I am survivor & I am true believer in going with the flow of life, & believe in doing all the jobs which is important to be able to run household which requires feeding,and cleaning, rest I don't worry about it. I try to do my best in doing my duties & don't sweat the small stuff. Luckily married guy who has same philosophy Asha

mc : thats great start, I am sure there will be lot more in future. I am so happy for you, I know you have been so looking forward to this for way too long, slow & steady you are going to get your family & Andre both. Asha

Lenny : I am so happy you had great time at company picnic & enjoy reminiscing those fun old times with your co-workers. Asha

Nancy : I am sorry you had to deal with those kind of people. though one valuable lesson, is the one who matters don't mind us, & one who minds don't matter at all. Just ignore & forgive those ignorants, its better choice to take for ur own sanity. Asha

hey Cat & Mike : that is great day, make him do more of those & it will get so much easier that it will become second nature & you both will realise there is life post stroke & its still good just little different but still good, you both will find joy in living again. I am so happy for you both. Asha

katrina : wow, you are not afraid of public speaking & good in it. I agree with you God is giving you all signs to go in that direction, you can be great motivational speaker. Asha

Bonnie : I am so happy you decided to crawl out of your hole & came back to us, your compassion & wisdom is so valuable to all newbies, I know it was huge comfort for me when I joined this site, knowing that light at the end of tunnel is possible. I am glad you decided to come back. Thanks, Asha

Dyan : thats great news, perservance & persistence by all of you wins. great job cayden, mom & dad Asha

Katrina : best of luck, I know you will be able to do it, everthing can be done with one hand & positive attitude. BTW you will learn way to compensate for your disability. BTW buy one touch can opener (it comes real handy to do things one handedly) also buy cutting board with vice & nails for your chopping vegetables needs. you will realise more you do things single handedly easier it becomes & becomes your new normal. Asha

Susan : I am sorry you are feeling lighthearted & crummy, just let it pass & take a break tomorrow is another day. Asha