HostAsha

Sandy : thats so sweet, I am sure lot of heartaches vanishes after hearing this Asha

Lydi : congratulations to Garion & Mom. I can see you beaming all the way in this blog, its great feeling to raise kids well. good job Mom Asha

Sue : I am so happy for you, I bet your pleasant visit with your daughter and grandchildren must have provided good fuel for your responsibilities at home. Asha

hi catebeleu : welcome to wonderful & therupetic world of blogging, reading your blog reminded me of my own first few years of struggle where I could not even think of finding joy in living again. I never thought I can be ever happy living again with my disability. but I am here to tell you life will be great again it will be just little different. I stroked at age 34 which retired me from the job I loved & all activities I loved prestroke like dancing, running & playing wih my kido, I wished at that time that dying was easier than surviving this stroke, but today after 8 years on this post stroke journey I view stroke as just another bum in my life's journey, actually I am thankful for it, it woke me up from my sleepwalking through life, no more I will ever take anything for granted, all ordinary things in life like enjoying nature, spending time with my loved ones brings so much joy in life. So I feel post stroke my life is different but its still good & I am sure that will be true for your friend too. first few years are the hardest after stroke, but you both will find your new normal soon & start enjoying life again with more meaningful way than before. Asha (now 42 year old survivor)

Nancy : I am so sorry you are going through this with Dan. is he on antidepressant meds, maybe he just does not want to face reality & thinks that he can just sleep his problems away? maybe introduce him to some activity which he likes & he would look forward to getting up to do those. Asha

Debbie : I am sorry you are having bad day today, I don't know the whole story, but try making Bruce do more for himself like all his ADL by himself, maybe in the begining yours & therapists watch once you feel he is safe enough to do it alone, you should allow him to do that & slowly give more responsibility I feel that increases person's selfesteem too when you feel you are contributing into family dymamics you feel better about yourself. I know thats what worked for me once I got rid of fulltime help at home, I felt better about myself. today with one hand I can do almost everything around the house.yes it takes me more time but important thing is job gets done. Asha

hi sandy : welcome to our blog world, I have found blogging hugely therupetic for my soul. Stroke affects whole family, survivor as well as caregiver. I am so greatful for my husband who held the fort till I collected pieces of my life. I stroked at age 34 in 2004 which left me paralysed on my left side, it retired from the job I loved. I struggled for first few years but with loving support of my family & friends I have able to rebuild my life again today I can look back & view stroke just as speed bump in my life's journey. when you feel you are drowning in ton of paperwork, just hold on & remind yourself this shall pass too, keep on doing what is required for that particular day. post stroke I have realised you have to take one day at a time & do right things & things will work out for both of you post stroke life is different not necessarily bad or good its just different & you will realise soon different will become new normal soon, though first year is the hardest of all. Asha (now 41 year old survivor)

Sue : I love your updates slowly you have started going with the flow, which I feel is so important in this life's journey. just accept we don't have control over things, God provides strength to handle life's challeges as they come along that's my motto. Enjoy your grandkids & your daughter. Asha

Lenny : sounds like you had lot of fun on your canadian day, ours is coming soon. Asha

hi Debbie : you are doing well, I feel being organised helps every one is this stroke recovery journey. hindsight is 20/20. All we can do is do our best with information we had at the time. my hubby went to work right after I came home from hospital, but my sister came from India to be with me when I was feeling so low & after she left hubby hired full time help at our house, having someone to be around helped me not do something stupid but it also made me feel worthless since I felt I was not contributing anyway in our home dynamics so whats the point of living, once I decided to take care of my home duties & get rid of all caregivers, I found my joy in living again, so I feel no solution is perfect, as long as you keep on trying things will work out eventually. Everything will work out in the end & if it has not then its not an end yet lol just keep trying new things & eventually things will work out Asha

Lenny : :congrats: now that you have acquired escator, I see lot of mall shopping in your future accompanied by your lovely wife lol. as a women I attacked that goal first & I can tell you more you try it, it will become second nature. Asha

I can't believe summer is here already & kido finished his freshman year of high school. he is doing quite well in high school thank God. he has turned into great young adult so far though even if he gets those devil horns on his head some days I have grown up enough to realise "this shall pass too lol" luckily with great dad those days are few & far in between. our school district has great system to keep parents informed & in loop which I feel has made huge difference in his academic performance since he learned parents are watching closely over him. his organisation skills improved since mom will know right away that homework was submitted late because he forgot home, which means he has to answer his parents on how this mistake will be avoided in future, which makes him on his toes & afraid to do those kind of silly blunders. right after my stroke I used to think it would have been easy dead than surviving this stroke, but when I see him thriving in his school & every area of his life & realizing oh I did contribute in his success, makes me feel good about my life & this new normal. It feels good to know that I contributed in it too even maybe some small way but it did make a difference. Asha

Debbie: you can do it, and one more thing I feel Bruce forgetting your needs are typical guy thing with or without stroke lol. I used to beso unhappy about that in my hubby prestroke, post stroke realised in bigger scheme of things it does not matter as long as he does dishes & stands by his family lol Asha

Sue : loved this blog, I love your cookout & lesson learnt. valuable blog. who says you can't have picnic in rain, for me walking with my hubby in rain is big turn on. Asha

julie : belated happy birthday to Lrry I am glad you all had good time. Asha

hehehe susan : maybe time to stay out of your own way today hehehe Asha

Nancy : I agree with Jamie. you have to start building new things with new Dan & soon you will not have that ache & wil be relaced by new love. Asha

Debbie : I am so happy & relieved you were able to take care of major issues like chocking & insect bites, everything else can take back seat & don't worry about it & just flow with life. what matters at the end of the day is that you did your wife's duties lovingly everything else will fall in place on its own. thats what I believe in do your duties correctly & leave rest on God & he will take care of you & your loved ones. Asha

kelly : welcome back. I don't have any clever idea on how to reclaim your old memory back except to start writing down things about your daily events even when you feel its so stupid, but I know when for studying for exams if I write diown things it used to be easy to recollect those stuff for exam. you need to do whatever methods works for you to reconnect with your husband & family again. every stroke recovery has its own challenges but all we can do is accept the situation & make best lemonade possible, good luck. Asha

Fred : I feel the same way though I am glad antidepressant meds were available to me cause it allowed me to look beyound my grief, as soon as I got handle on my situation depression meds were out the window. Asha

susan: that sounds lovely I bet you are going to have great time with your hubby. whenever you feel down remind yourself tomorrow is another day scarlet Asha

Susan: I am sorry you are feeling bad right now, hopefully being in nature turned your mood around. listening to good music or reading good books always makes me feel good. Asha

Jamie: thats so true & beautiful. Asha

hi Maxine : you blog so rarely that I actually thought you are newbie. I am sorry you are going through rought time with your family. Not every one understands the stroke & its aftermath. you got to do what is right for you & not worry about what others say or think. in this life s journey you will meet all kinds of people some sensitive, some not so. all we can do is make best lemonade possible. first few years are the hardest of all, but remind yourself you survived for a reason & not as punishment. start getting more active on this board like more blogging & joining our chats every day you will feel less alone. our chats are every day except on weekend afternoon 3-4 & evening 8-9 EST. hope to see you around. Asha

Katrina : accidents happen, glad no one was hurt, cars can be repaired or bought. BTW moving to metro area sounds like good idea so you won't need car & still get job done. Katrina you are here for a reason & not stuck on earth, I know it is hard to believe right now but something good will come out of this, we don't know the whole story of our life, but believing whatever it is its going to turn out in your favor, maybe moving to metro will be that step. just trust in God & hang in there. God does not punish us, he gives us strength to get through difficult situation Asha